April 24, 2008 (2.14, aka #37): Betty's back!

Please note! I've updated this recap since I first posted it last week. Most changes are minor, but see below (highlighted in blue) for an important correction.

It's Betty's 24th birthday. She has a dream that she and Henry take a carriage ride through a fairy tale countryside, with fireworks in the sky. Then the alarm goes off, waking her up.

She's taken the day off, and she and Henry have plans to spend the weekend in the Poconos. But Charlie answers the door at Henry's apartment - all smug and pregnant. She just had to come up on this particular weekend to attend some special parenting seminar. Henry offers to ditch the seminar, but Betty insists that he go to it; instead, they'll celebrate her birthday tonight in the city. She'll make all the arrangements. (She takes some satisfaction in being able to tell Charlie where Henry keeps the toothpaste!)

She goes to the office to snag some tickets to a concert in Central Park with fireworks, and uses Mode's name to score dinner reservations at the most romantic restaurant in Manhattan. Gio (sporting a new haircut) comes by to chat and says he's missed her, but Betty nervously claims that she's been busy. When she mentions that it's her birthday and describes her plans with Henry, Gio mentions a carriage ride; Betty is taken aback that he remembered the romantic idea from the dream she forgot, but she tries not to show it.

Unfortunately, Daniel's forgotten that it's Betty's birthday, and tries to put her to work. Later, she cheers up and he walks towards her with a gigantic gift, but she soon discovers that it's for his girlfriend Renee and he's only asking Betty to make sure she gets it! He muses aloud that he always seems to lets women down - especially the ones he cares about the most.

Hilda brings some of her father's homemade cupcakes to Henry's place so that he and Betty will have them during the concert. (Henry is out getting flowers for Betty.) Charlie gloats to Hilda's face that Betty's birthday plans are ruined. Hilda gloats right back that Betty and Henry have new plans and that she's got Betty's back. On her way out, she scratches grooves into the drywall with her fingernails to prove her point!

Charlie eats the cupcakes and smiles as she comes up with a new evil plan.

Rewinding to this morning:

Wil visits Daniel at his loft to warn him that her sister, Renee, is crazy and dangerous. She tells him to ask her about Stony Brook.

Christina, who is still living with Wil during her pregnancy, catches some of Renee's wrath when she tries to light a candle - Renee puts out the candle with her bare hands and shrieks at Christina not to light any candles. Christina tries to tell Betty about Renee's weirdness on the phone, but Justin has completely bejeweled Betty's phone and it's no longer working properly. Christina hides a baby monitor in the pantry in hopes that she'll overhear something interesting.

Renee comes to see Daniel at the office to tell him she's found an apartment near his place. He reacts cautiously and asks about Stony Brook. She tells him it's where she went to college and indeed, she partied a little, but insists that it was no big deal. However, she's offended and chastises him for taking Wil's word for anything.

Renee confronts Wil about telling Daniel about Stony Brook. (Christina overhears on the baby monitor and writes "Stone Brook" down.) Renee tells Wil that she can find out and expose Wil's secrets too.

Later, Fido comes to Wil's place while Wil is out. Renee plies him with chocolate martinis and gets him to reveal that the father of Wil's baby (being carried by Christina) is Bradford Meade - and that Wil stole the sperm from his corpse in hopes of getting one third of the Meade family fortune.

Renee gloats to Wil when she gets Daniel's gift, "with all his love." She shows Wil that she has a recording of Fido's drunken revelations. She tells Wil to leave her and Daniel alone, or Wil's plot to inherit will be foiled. She gloats some more that she'll be spending the night at Daniel's place.

Wil angrily goes to Fido and has him go into Daniel's place (she has a key). He finds her green bag and goes through it. Then, he goes through Daniel's underwear drawer and gleefully finds some mesh underwear. Daniel catches him, so Fido pretends to try to seduce him. Daniel smells a rat, but Fido flees before he can be questioned. This only strengthens his conviction that Wil is just trying to cause trouble.

Daniel apologizes to Renee for doubting her. She confesses that she had a breakdown when she was in college, went to a facility, still sees a psychiatrist, and takes psychiatric medication. (Not exactly unusual these days - hardly blackmail material.) Daniel is unfazed and asks her to move in. Renee calls Wil to rub her nose in it and says the recording is in a safe place, but she could release it at the slightest provocation. Afterwards, Wil scoffs at the drunken recording, and Fido confirms to Wil that he swapped out Renee's anti-crazy pills with Wil's similar-looking fat-blocker pills. Wil gloats in anticipation of Renee going to the "nuthouse."

Later, at Wil's place, Fido expresses concern about Wil messing with her sister. Wil darkly hints that Renee's all kinds of evil. Just as she's about to explain further, they hear static. Wil finds the baby monitor hidden in the pantry. She presses a button and says "at least I stop short of murder." (When I first did this recap, I didn't see her press the button, and assumed she said that especially for Christina to hear. Now it's clear that she turned the monitor off first.)

Meanwhile, Claire's new magazine, Hot Flash, is proving to be an ambitious and expensive project; Daniel had assumed that his mother was just trying to cheer herself up and didn't expect it to ever be published. When Alexis broaches the subject of cost, Claire becomes depressed and discouraged - she hasn't even hired a staff yet. Betty finds her crying in the bathroom and encourages her not to give up. She reminds Claire that she has access to more resources than anyone - she ought to be able to put a magazine together. To thank Betty, Claire donates her earrings for Betty to wear on her birthday date.

Later, Claire pep-talks her new staff with a motivational speech and says they're all family. (Given the Meade family history, I'm not sure if that's what they need to hear.) It turns out that her new staff are former convicts on a special work program. They're well-positioned to produce a magazine for women who have found their lives suddenly changed!

Back to Betty's birthday:

Henry leaves messages at Betty's house, office, and cell phone that he can't make their date, because Charlie has suddenly gotten sick and he has to take her to the hospital. Betty's family immediately begins preparing a birthday party, complete with a piñata and more cupcakes. Unfortunately, the bejeweled phone isn't working well, and Betty gets only half of Henry's message: "...go to the restaurant... I'll meet up with you... I love you." (It was more like "Don't go to the restaurant, I'll meet up with you later, I'm so sorry, I love you.")

Gio comes to the office with a piece of pie and a birthday candle for Betty. There, he finds Henry's message for Betty.

After waiting alone at the restaurant for a long time, Betty orders fondue for two. The snooty waiter, who seems determined to make Betty's lonely birthday dinner as humilating as possible, kicks her out because a happy couple is celebrating an anniversary. He offers her a doggie bag for the cheese, and people snicker. (She accepts it - it's a plain ziptop plastic bag! They wouldn't even put it in a tinfoil swan or something!)

Outside the restaurant, however, Gio shows up with a carriage (borrowed from his cousin), ostensibly to deliver Henry's message. He makes it sound as though the carriage is a totally casual thing, and offers Betty a ride so that her birthday won't be a total loss. It's not as romantic as Betty had dreamed; at one point, the horse stops to take a dump. Betty and Gio bond over the imperfect nature of life. She mentions that Henry's leaving for Arizona after the baby's born anyway. Gio insists that they go to Central Park to catch the end of the concert and the fireworks.

Back in Queens, there's a knock on the Suarez door - it's Henry. It turns out that Charlie was fine. Henry suspects that she was just trying to wreck his evening with Betty. DUH!

A wheel on the carriage breaks. Betty falls out of the carriage and into a puddle, messing up her dress. Gio has only one tiny napkin from his deli to dab her face. He apologizes for not giving her such a great evening. They're going to miss the fireworks.

Just then, a plume of sparks lights up the sky. They look up - people are welding high up on a nearby building. Betty puts her head on Gio's shoulder, watching the makeshift fireworks.

It's late when she gets home, but she is touched when she sees the colorful decorations and the piñata. Henry is asleep on the couch. Betty thanks her father for the party she missed. He says she'll always be his little girl and maybe she doesn't need cupcakes any more. Betty says she will always need cupcakes.

There's a gift from Daniel that he left a few weeks in advance, knowing he'd forget on her actual birthday. (It's book-sized, but we don't get to see what it is.)

Betty wakes Henry and says she didn't want to wake him. He wishes her a happy birthday. The kiss chastely. He apologizes that her birthday "wasn't perfect." (He doesn't promise to grow a spine and stop letting Charlie walk all over him.) They snuggle on the couch.

Next week: Renee thinks Betty is the Other Woman.

4/24/08: Great moments in Office episodes

They lack a certain Crawford-ness. (Michael)

If I had created a website with so many problems, I would kill myself. (Kelly)

I am not applauding sarcastically. (Michael)

This is a group that respects good ideas the one time a year that they hear one. (Jim)

Do you live in a regular-sized house? (Dwight)

It's weevil season, but we were prepared. (Dwight)

Do you have powers? (Dwight)

This place is like a sexy preschool. (Michael)

4/17/08: Great moments in Office episodes

Desperate situations yield the quickest results. (Michael)

Hello Oscar Meyer wiener-lover. (Michael)

Wendy: hot and juicy redhead... (Kevin, via Michael)

I am ready to get hurt again. (Michael)

How am I going to pay my kids' orphanage bills? (Andy)

Wait till next year's chair catalog comes out, and find someone who's still alive. (Dwight)

Will you wait for one second while I tie my shoe? (Jim)

4/10/08: Great moments in Office episodes

I only have six wine glasses. (Michael)

This will be great to cook with. (Jan)

You can buy new stuff, but you can't buy a new party. (Pam)

Rhymes with "Parnold Schwarzenegger" (Michael)

It's purely carnal, and that's all you need to know. (Dwight)

The thought of popping one of your beets into my mouth makes me want to vomit. (Angela)

I would like to BURN your candles. (Michael)

There was a great vasectomy quote, but I missed it. Sorry!