11/30/06: Sweaty palms and five golden rings

Betty is working late. Henry from Accounting, AKA Hotty, is chatting with her, flirting mildly. The darkened room is lit only by Betty's small desk lamp, creating a romantic note in an environment that normally looks coldly modern during the day.

Hotty tells Betty that the dollar amount of Daniel's expense report is equal to the number of stars visible from Earth. "It's just something I know," he explains sheepishly.

He asks if the leaves on her desk are mistletoe. She says no, it's just holly, but he kisses her anyway. Then he says, "you're just the girl I've been looking for."

Betty wakes up sweating, with her heart racing. She covers up a photo of herself and Turd Sandwich, and goes back to sleep.

Next morning

Sofia wakes up in a panic. It's late, and she's going to miss her plane. Daniel says he'll miss her. She suggests that they take a break while she's gone, to find out if what they have is real. Daniel says he loves her. Sofia scoffs. He says he has all the symptoms of love - heart racing, palms sweating, etc. Sofia says that's not love; it's hormones, infatuation, and good sex. He thinks it's more. She tells him to see other women while she's away; if he doesn't have the same reaction with them, that means it's real.

Upset, Betty tells Hilda about her dream. Hilda is dismissive. "Dreams don't mean anything," she says, which is just what you expect someone to say who has long ago given up on whatever dreams she may ever have had. She urges Betty to continue seeing the Turd Sandwich, and avoid Hotty and temptation.

Hilda leaves the room. Dad (out of jail; will see a case worker next month about his immigration status) complains about Hilda's loud voice and acute sense of hearing. Betty remarks that dolphins have the most acute sense of hearing in the animal kingdom. "It's just something I know," she says, echoing Hotty; she grimaces in frustration.

There is a ruckus outside. Hilda has run over Gina's Christmas tree with her car; the tree was in the street because Gina couldn't get it in her house.

At Mode

Fido strolls into Wil's office late. He asks if Nico is coming home for Christmas. Wil says no - she'll be spending the holiday in Dubai with her father.

Wil is angry that Fido has helped himself to the only whole-wheat bagel. He reminds her of her "friend." (Wow, talk about your cheap blackmail schemes.)

At a staff meeting, Daniel says they're over budget and will have to have the Christmas party at the office this year. He also mentions Betty's job offer. (Fido and Fluffy applaud enthusiastically.) He says that anyone who wants to apply for Betty's job should give their resume to her.

Betty is annoyed with him for making the announcement; she wasn't completely sure she wanted to accept Sofia's offer. She thinks Daniel will be helpless without her, and she won't quit unless a suitable replacement is found.

Daniel tells Betty about Sofia's suggestion to take a "break," and shows Betty a collection of friggin' huge engagement rings he borrowed from a jeweler. He's going to decide which one he wants to offer Sofia. Betty says she's glad he's so confident about his decision, because one of their clients is sending over some lingerie samples today - on models.

Betty gets to her desk and finds an anonymous gift - a book. She likes it and assumes it's from Daniel. She waves it at him and gives him a thumbs-up.

Fluffy compliments Betty's sweater (sort of). She says, "did you make it yourself?" Betty says she needs to plan a staff party for $500. Fluffy reminds Betty that she's wanted Betty's job since before either Betty or Daniel worked there. Betty is not sure this is a great idea considering Fluffy's feelings for Daniel, but Fluffy begs for a chance to prove herself. She offers to plan the party. She also gives Betty a large bag of fake snow.

Struggling down the hallway with the bag of snow, Betty runs into Hotty. The bag ruptures, and snow falls all over both of them. He picks some snow out of her hair, then apologizes for being unprofessional. They smack their heads together trying to get the snow off of themselves. "You're just the girl I've been looking for," he says. Betty hastily denies this! Hotty explains that he's doing the budget for the party, so "I'll be on top of you for the next couple of days." Betty is shocked. "Party-wise," he explains. They nearly knock their heads together.

Betty looks through the stack of resumes on her desk. Most of them are unsuitable. The rest are Fluffy's!

The lingerie models arrive. Daniel panics when he sees that one of them is a former girlfriend who broke his heart. He tells Betty she was his "first." First supermodel, that is. Later, Betty sees him chatting with her, so she interrupts them and loudly says that his girlfriend's plane landed safely and that the photo department is waiting for the models.

That evening

Snooping around Daniel's office, Fluffy finds Daniel's engagement ring collection. She tries one of the rings on, and it gets stuck.

Fido snoops under the Christmas tree in Wil's office, shaking all of the packages hopefully. He hears Wil's footsteps and hides behind the tree. Wil calls for him; he stays hidden. Satisfied that she's alone, Wil calls Fey. She tells Fey that Fido won't be a problem much longer. After Wil is done with him, he'll be silenced forever." Fido quakes silently until she leaves. Then he takes a hit off his inhaler.

Brad meets with Mr. Green (his new PI after getting rid of "Chuck"). Mr. Green tells Brad that Fey's remains were collected by a relative; that's why her crypt was empty. He shows Brad the morgue documents; Brad says he's satisfied that Fey really is dead.

Betty accompanies the Turd Sandwich to the Pro Buy staff party. TS introduces the store manager, his boss, and tells Betty he hopes to have his job someday. (I guess it's good that he has some ambition, but you know that if he was more like Betty, he'd hope to OWN Pro Buy someday.)

Betty also meets the store manager's wife, Jackie. Like Betty, Jackie is from Queens and used to work in Manhattan. She says she doesn't miss working there, and is glad she can now work for Pro Buy in Queens. She hates travel and has never even been on a plane. She predicts that Betty will soon get sick of Manhattan too. "We're Queens girls, Betty. Born and bred. We belong here." Betty looks at a Polaroid of herself and Turd Sandwich, and doesn't look convinced.

She asks Jackie when she knew that her husband was "the one." Jackie says she knew right away, and asks Betty when she knew. Betty says she's not sure yet. Jackie tells her that she'll "just know." She tells Betty that TS is already sure about Betty.

Next day

Fido arrives on time and brings Wil a whole-wheat bagel. "Too late," she says, irritated. "Yesterday was carb day." She tells him he'd better be there tonight for the party; she hints at a surprise. She also asks for his home address; she wants to send him a "special delivery." Fido takes another hit off of his inhaler.

Betty finishes up an interview with an airhead and worries that she won't find a good assistant for Daniel. Just then, Fluffy reveals that she has obtained quite a few freebies - champagne, Christmas trees, etc. - from men she knows who owe her "favors." She asks Betty again about the job. Betty says no, because of Daniel.

Betty finds another gift on her desk. This time it's a snowglobe. While she's admiring it, Hotty approaches with some Christmas decorations. She tries to give him the cold shoulder, but he starts sharing useless factoids about snow globes and says that he grew up in Arizona and didn't know what real snow looked like until he came to NY. (Don't they have TV and movies in Arizona? I'm pretty sure they do.) This seems to thaw Betty's shoulder.

They talk about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He says the stop-motion animation technique that was used was called "Animagic." "It's just something I know," he adds sheepishly. He's embarrassed to know so many useless things, but Betty thinks it's cute.

The room gets dark, lit only by the lamp at Betty's desk. He asks if the leaves on her desk ar mistl--

Betty snaps out of the daydream. "They're holly!" she says, and sends him away. (She throws that mischievous sprig of holly away, too.)

Betty throws one of the ornaments at Fluffy to get her attention. Fluffy puts her hand up to protect her hair; it's her ring hand, alas. Betty sees the stuck engagement ring. They rush off to the restroom to talk.

Betty panics. She says the ring must be worth hundreds of dollars. (Could Betty be that stupid? I doubt it.) Betty tries to pull the ring off of Fluffy's finger, but loses her grip and falls.

Fluffy says she knows it looks bad, but she really doesn't have a crush on Daniel any more. She accepts that Daniel has chosen someone else, and promises to get that ring off.

At home, Hilda reviews Justin's Christmas list. One of his wishes is that his grandfather doesn't get carted away again. Hilda looks out the window and catches Gina rearranging their Christmas decorations.

That evening

Hilda retaliates by stealing Gina's lighted reindeer head. Lurking on their front porch, Gina falls and hurts herself (don't be surprised if she sues them in a future episode!) Hilda helps her up. Gina says she's tired of competing with Hilda and wonders out loud why she doesn't give up. Hilda invites her in for some ice (for her injury) and boozy eggnog. Gina reluctantly accepts.

Fido is joined on the elevator by a man wearing sunglasses, an expensive-looking suit and slicked-back hair. He says he's looking for "Marc St. James." (That's Fido.) "I hate that guy," Fido says nervously. Just then, the elevator reaches his floor, and he joins the party already in progress.

Fluffy sees Fido approaching and shoves her bejeweled hand into an ice bucket. He asks her if she has a gun. She says no. He leaves and she gratefully takes her freezing hand out of the bucket. She puts on a glove so no one will see the ring.

Fido hears Wil calling for him and scurries. He runs into Betty and tells her she never saw him. He hides in the restroom.

Christina sits in Santa's lap and unselfishly asks him to give gifts to all her coworkers... courage for Fido, a brain for Fluffy... she likes Santa's beard. They hurry into the restroom. A moment later, Fido rushes out. "And I thought it was bad watching Santa Claus come down the chimney!" he tells Betty. Wil and the apparent hit man finally corner Fido and lead him away.

Fluffy tells Betty she looks radiant. Betty is happy that the party is going so well. Fluffy asks again about the job. Betty admits that she's qualified, but still isn't sure Fluffy can deal with Daniel. Just then, they see him with a model. Fluffy volunteers to take care of it, to prove that she can fill Betty's shoes. (She looks at Betty's shoes and gags, reconsidering.)

Fluffy takes a big swig of champagne and dances up to Daniel and the model, and dances away with the model.

Betty makes eye contact with Hotty and gestures that he has something on his nose. He fixes is. Then she tries to hide from him at Fluffy's desk. He finds her, and she pretends to be looking for something. She randomly pulls something out of Fluffy's purse - a big strip of condoms. He tells her he was just looking for a corkscrew.

The model finds Daniel at his desk, looking through the lingerie catalog. He jokes that he only reads it for the articles. She gets all over him. He doesn't put up a huge fight.

Betty sees. Fluffy sees. Betty sees Fluffy burst into his office. Fluffy yells, "stop kissing that tramp. You are practically engaged!" They separate. Daniel is happy that his hands aren't sweating. He tells the model he's in love with someone else. The model says she'll find another man.

Betty tells Daniel that Fluffy will be his new assistant. She's proven that she can take care of him. "So this is goodbye," Betty says. He gives her a gift - a silver business card holder. The cards inside have her name on them - and in big letters, "M.Y.W." Which is pretty funny, because unless I heard something wrong, the name of Sofia's magazine is "New York Woman," not "Moo York Woman." But I digress.

Daniel tells Betty that she's meant for bigger and better things. They hug. Then Betty realizes that the other gifts weren't from Daniel - so who did they come from?

She catches Hotty's eye again from across the room. They smile at one another for a long while. A passerby briefly blocks her view. Then Betty sees Hotty making out with the rejected lingerie model. Betty looks away, and doesn't get to see Hotty push the model away in disgust.

Betty leaves. He tries to follow, but the elevator doors close before he can reach her.

Fido, Wil, and the apparent hit man are in the parking garage. "Give it to him," Wil commands the hit man. A boop-boop is heard - it's the remote unlock sound from a new Hummer (or something similar). The "hit man" is actually a local auto dealer.

Fido is relieved - and overjoyed. "It's bigger than my apartment," he exclaims. He understands that the vehicle is in exchange for his silence.

Daniel leaves a message on Sofia's voicemail. He tells her that she makes his palms sweat. No one else does. That proves that he loves her. "It's Daniel, by the way," he says before hanging up.

Fluffy has been watching him on the phone. The ring slips off her hand. (My theory is that the swelling in her hands was reduced when all the blood rushed into her head from the effort of thinking. Either that or she got dehydrated from all that champagne.)

Wrap-up

Betty gets home and is surprised to see Hilda and Gina sitting together on the couch talking about makeup, and Dad asking Justin for advice about glitter.

Daniel and Fluffy talk about Fluffy taking over Betty's job. They shake hands and agree to be professionals.

Wil is surprised by a visit from Ted LeBeau, founder of BeauMart.

Betty tells Hilda she's worried that she'll reach the age of 45 without ever flying on a plane. Hilda scoffs. "You can do anything," she says. She reminds Betty that Turd Sandwich loves her. Betty wonders if she should have sweaty hands.

Turd Sandwich arrives and asks why the lights on their house spell "Hilda Sucks." It turns out the book and the snow globe were gifts from TS. Daniel helped. He gives Betty his final gift... a calendar? (I didn't see what the calendar theme was... maybe it's not as lame as it seems.)

Hilda answers the phone. It's Hotty, inviting Betty to come over tomorrow night to watch Rudolph on TV. Hilda sees Betty on the couch with TS and throws the message away.

TS tells Betty that he wants to be supportive and be part of her Manhattan life. They kiss. TS seems content.

Betty looks at her hands. They're dry. Walter doesn't notice. The camera pulls back; Betty and TS get smaller and smaller as a clock ticks louder and louder.

---

What's next?
Looks like the show is going on break... not sure how long, but probably through December at least. We'll have to wait a while to find out if Sofia feels the same way Daniel does, if "MYW" stays afloat long enough for Betty to prove herself, and if Fluffy can protect Daniel from Wilhelmina's treachery.