Mad Men 1.3: Brought to you by small cars and laxatives

On the train to work, Don is greeted by an old Army buddy who calls him Richard Whitman. Don reacts with restrained politeness.

Pete comes back from his honeymoon and is welcomed warmly... until he goes into his office and finds it occupied by a Chinese family and their chickens. Pete is obviously angered by the joke but pretends that he's flattered.

The madmen are supposed to be coming up with a campaign for Secor laxative. They are much more interested in being mystified by Volkswagen's successful "think small" campaign. Don is particularly mystified by it; almost offended. Others are more cautiously admiring.

Pete gives Peggy a speech about how he's married now.

Pete tells the madmen that he likes the Volkswagen ad and he loves married life. Don continues making little verbal jabs at Pete; Pete keeps trying to ingratiate himself with Don.

Joan won't let Peggy borrow a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover.

The research consultant they put on Rachel's account offers a minimalist approach. Don scoffs. Rachel is impressed by the consultant's research on her competitors, but notes that none of them ever set foot in her store. One of them feebly claims that he went, but she doesn't believe him and Don admits that none have them have been there, and he'll personally correct that.

Pete, who still doesn't have an ounce of true charm in him - just calculated suckuppery - is taken aback by Don's smoothness in dealing with Rachel.

Pete talks to his wife on the phone about dinner. He requests rib eye steak fried in a pan with butter, and ice cream for dessert. (droooool) This is why he loves married life so much. I'd love to come home to the dinner of my choice every day too!

Rachel gives Don a tour of her store. I'm not sure, but I think she gives him some cufflinks. They go up on the roof to meet her guard dogs. Don makes another sexist remark (I didn't write it down, sorry, after a while they're all a blur). Rachel tells him she had a lonely childhood. They kiss. Only then does he admit that he's married. Rachel asks him to put someone else in charge of her account.

Now it's the day of Sally's birthday party. Don has to assemble a little wooden playhouse - it looks just like the big puffy plastic one that's so popular now. He drinks at least four beers during this process; possibly more.

Helen Bishop, the divorcee, is invited with her two kids. The housewives are rudely curious about her. They are obsessed over why she goes for long walks. Where is she going??

She has two kids - son Glen is 9 and the daughter is 2.

Betty mixes a very boozy punch, or else it's the mint juleps that are served later. Betty's pregnant friend is drinking and smoking with the best of them.

One of the party guests corners Don and wants to talk about a "cute" ad. Don is annoyed by the tackiness. The guest has a cute joke, too: A man's wife and his lawyer are both drowning. The man has to make a choice: lunch or a movie? Ahahahaha!! Ugh.

The women watch as one of the kids hops past on crutches. Apparently he had polio.

Helen is wearing capri pants and she owns a Volkswagen. This irritates the women to no end.

The husbands gossip in the yard. The women make small talk, anti-Semitic remarks, discuss their honeymoons. Helen says she went to Paris. One of the wives says that people do a lot of walking around in Paris. There is a hostile tone in her voice. Finally Helen says she likes to walk because it's relaxing. The women don't understand what she means and don't understand how she can go for a walk if she's not going somewhere in particular.

Don takes home movies of the kids. One of the husbands volunteers to "help" Helen with her boy, to play with him and take him to the beach. (He shows no interest in the daughter, which is probably for the best when you think about it.) Helen calls him on his plan. He backpedals. The moment is caught on film (video only; no audio on those old home movies).

He catches another guy with someone else's wife.

Don and the other adults do a lot more drinking.

The kids playing around the playhouse argue like grownups. The wives gripe about Helen behind her back. Betty seems more sympathetic to her. Then they notice that Don is talking to Helen.

Betty sends Don to the bakery to pick up the cake.

An unruly child spills a drink. His father scolds him and tells him to go find his mother and have her clean it up.

Don picks up the cake, pauses in front of the house, then keeps on driving.

Some people leave the party after realizing the cake's not coming. Helen offers a frozen cake from her freezer, saving the party and saving the day.

It's dark. Don is sitting in his car by the railroad tracks. Finally he comes home with a stray dog. The kids are delighted. They name her Polly, which in my opinion is an excellent name for a dog.