Feb 15, 2007: Snow-crazy

Sorry for the delay. I wanted to do justice to this episode!

Before the snow

Betty tosses and turns in bed, dreaming that Claire threatens to kill her if she tells anyone that Claire killed Fey. After snapping out of this dream, she then finds Henry in her bed... with his girlfriend, a hot blonde. Henry tells Betty it's too bad things didn't work out, but on the other hand, Claire Meade's going to kill her anyway.

Betty finally wakes up and looks at her clock, which ticks loudly like a windup but looks like one of those flip-digital clocks from the 70's. It's only 11:11 pm.

The next morning, Wil watches sulkily as Alexis and Daniel get off the elevator together, laughing about old times - apparently, Daniel once shoved three grapes up his nose. (Good to know.) Wil whines to Fido about Daniel's and Alexis's newfound amity. Fido puts out a "gay-P-B" to find out what's going on. Meanwhile, Wil tries to pump Christina for information.

Christina doesn't have any info, but Fido hears through the grapevine that Alexis has no friends except Daniel. Wil sees an opportunity to reestablish her relationship with Alexis. However, she is not so sure about Christina's loyalty, and orders Fido to become Christina's new best friend.

Daniel gives Betty a pair of tickets to a Stella McCartney party tonight - he's planning to hang out at a bar with his long-lost friend Becks instead. Betty suddenly (and loudly) blurts that Claire killed Fey. Daniel scoffs, but Betty tells him that Claire said she cut Fey's brakes, followed in her blue Aston-Martin, and watched her crash.

Daniel goes to visit his father in jail and asks about this. Bradford denies all of it, but says he needs a better lawyer - someone named Grace Chin, aka "The Chin." Daniel looks worried.

Meanwhile, Betty visits the Closet and invites Christina to the party. Sarah Jessica Parker's "people" call and say they'd like Christina to design SJP's dress for the Oscars... and she needs it tomorrow. Christina is too shocked to answer, so Betty takes the phone and does her best to mimic Christina's accent. It's very convincing, too... if you think Christina sounds like Paul Hogan. Betty accepts the offer for Christina, and ends with "g'day, mate!"

Daniel comes back to the office and explains his predicament to Becks: he knew Grace Chin in school. He invited her to a keg party and then stood her up in favor of a better offer. He shows Becks a yearbook picture: in those days, Grace looked like an Asian Betty.

Becks predicts that she probably has even more chins now, and won't turn Daniel down. If anything, she'll be grateful just to hear from a man.

The Chin

Grace Chin arrives for their meeting, and she looks a lot better than her yearbook photo. Betty announces her arrival to Daniel and can't imagine why he ever stood her up. Daniel tells her she looked different in those days - braces, glasses, and "crazy hair." Looking at Betty, he does a double-take and says that look works for some people.

Daniel nervously drops a few hints around Grace, fishing for some trace of recognition or hard feelings. When she doesn't respond, he relaxes and asks her about the case. She says it will be tough, and only she can win it... except she's not going to take the case.

She remembers everything. She tells Daniel she spent that night playing Wolfenstein. She had even bought him a corsage (she was new to dating).

Daniel protests that his father isn't the person who stood her up, but he offers to make it up to her. He calls over town trying to get a table at a good restaurant, but mentioning his name only gets him a dial tone - between Sofia's betrayal and Alexis's takeover, his name's mud and he can't get anything.

Grace has a better plan anyway. She tells him about the fates of some other women he hurt in college. "The Chin's all about justice," she says, waving a list of names and phone numbers at him.

Daniel dutifully calls everyone on the list and gives a heartfelt apology to each one. She interrupts one apology to tell him that his remorse is hot, and totally jumps his bones.

(Actually, Grace has made the mistake of letting him dial the phone himself, and all of these calls are going to Becks. After an evening of hearing all these regrets, Becks now gets to listen in on Grace's enthusiastic approval as well.)

Later, Grace tells Daniel that the case against Bradford is not very strong. Most of the evidence is circumstantial. A witness was spotted near the scene - a woman in a blue Aston-Martin - but no one has been able to find her.

Christina's new buddy

Christina goes crazy worrying about Sarah Jessica Parker's dress. Thanks to the snow, she can't get her hands on any new fabric - certainly none that's worthy of SJP. Fido lends moral support, and you can tell from his attitude that he's motivated by more than just Wil's threats. He throws himself into the task with gusto. He steers Christina away from a taffeta nightmare and suggests "repurposing" some of the other garments in the Closet. Christina thinks that SJP will recognize any reused fabric.

They brainstorm what type of design would be "edgy" enough for SJP, and gather all the raw materials they can find. The result is not impressive: coffee filters, staples, packing material. Fido encourages Christina to work with these materials to make SJP a truly unique gown.

Eventually, Christina pulls something together and sizes it on Fido. It could definitely pass for a dress... that was made in the back room at Kinko's. In any case, they are happy about it. Wil calls to check in (and ask Fido to get her a car... more on that later) and is glad to hear that Fido and Christina are getting to be bestest buddies.

Ladies' night

Wil catches Alexis eating a very fattening lunch alone at her desk. Alexis complains that her old friends have been "unforgiving." They cried at her funeral, but aren't happy to see her now. Wil says that one good friend is all she needs, and suggests that they have a girls' night out, including the opera.

Unfortunately, the heavy snow limits the number of taxis available that evening. They duck into a sports bar for shelter. It's a little bit of a dive, and Wil looks out-of-place in her stark white outfit with gigantic fuzzy marshmallow hat. Alexis, on the other hand, likes the place, saying it's like the bars she used to go to. She wants to hang around for a while.

Alexis impresses a man named Joel (Jerry O'Connell) with her ability to throw a basketball. Alexis confides to him that she'd rather stay there than go to the opera as planned. Wil approaches, and Joel says she looks familiar. Wil very rudely cuts him off.

Alexis takes Wil aside and says she thinks Joel is cute. She points out that he has friends, too. Wil does not share Alexis's enthusiasm, but accepts Joel's offer to throw a basketball. She misses. The guys laugh, but she silences them with a glare. She finally gets Fido to arrange for a car to pick them up. She urges Alexis to wait with her outside, but Alexis wants to stay. Wil angrily leaves without her.

Joel asks Alexis for her phone number. Alexis eagerly writes it down for him. She savors the moment: the first time she has ever given out her phone number as a woman. The other men begin cheering. Laughing, Joel tells Alexis he just won a bet: they all know who Alexis is. "I don't hit on freaks unless I know I'm getting paid for it," he brags.

Wil comes back into the bar. She apologizes to Joel for not having been nicer to him earlier. She then slugs him hard enough to knock him right off his barstool. She gives him an extra kick as she ushers Alexis out to the waiting car.

"People are kind of awful," Alexis moans. Wil reminds her that some people have been good to her. Alexis says yes - Wil... and Daniel.

Alexis says she no longer sees Daniel as an enemy. (Wil gets nervous.) Alexis assures her that she's still the best creative person in the business - and she can have a raise if she likes.

Wil does not like.

Justin's big break

At home, Hilda is preparing to do something with Ignacio's hair. She's planning to go to cosmetology school and wants to practice on her dad. Dad is a little worried about this, given that Hilda's already had two beers.

Justin is worried too, watching the snow come down. He's afraid the weather will interfere with his plans to see Hairspray tonight with his mother and father. Hilda admits to Ignacio that Santos doesn't yet know that he's going to see a musical. This inspires her to reach for a third beer.

Santos arrives later and is not happy when Hilda tells him the plan. (Justin is up in his room and doesn't hear any of this conversation.) Hilda reminds Santos that he said he wanted to spend more time with Justin, and this is what Justin likes to do. Santos says he put money on a basketball game, and he'd prefer to watch that game at a bar and then meet them later.

Later, on the subway, Santos is about to break the news to Justin when the train breaks down. They'll be stuck there for a while. Justin frets that they - especially his father, who's never seen the show before - will miss the opening number. Then inspiration strikes: he'll perform it! He begins singing and dancing, acting out the entire play for everyone on the train.

Some time later, Justin is still performing. It is the most excited Santos has ever seen his son. Finally, another passenger complains and calls Justin a fairy. Hilda gets up and starts yelling at the passenger. Santos gets right in the man's face and tells him that his son is going to finish, after which he, the passenger, will clap.

Santos sincerely encourages Justin to finish the story. When he's done, all of the passengers clap with admiration and/or terror.

More subway madness

In the lunch line, Betty befriends a wide-eyed girl named Charlotte (Charlie for short) who seems to be lost in the big city. Charlie tells Betty she has an amazing aura. she says she makes jewelry out of "found objects," but the finds aren't as nice here in New York. She confesses that she finds the city very scary. To cheer her up, Betty invites her to the Stella McCartney party.

Just then, Henry arrives. Before Betty can introduce them, Henry tells Betty that Charlotte is his girlfriend. He's too busy hugging Charlie to notice the miserable look on Betty's face.

After lunch, Betty sees Henry approaching and tries to hide behind Fluffy's desk. Fluffy gives her up quickly, hoping to add some excitement to her own day. (Betty tells Henry she lost a contact lens. Then she hurriedly explains that it wasn't hers.) Henry thanks Betty for getting Charlie to go out. He says all they've done since she arrived is order in and watch movies in bed. Again, he is oblivious to the look of horror on Betty's face.

Henry asks if it isn't too weird for Betty, because of that "vibe" they had. Betty denies that there was ever an "us" or a vibe. Henry looks hurt, but says good, okay, have fun at the party.

Fluffy tells Betty to "grow a pair" and "fight for your little dweeb." She urges Betty to find Charlie's weakness, and exploit it. Betty refuses to consider such a thing.

That evening, Charlie is a nervous wreck at the subway platform. It's crowded and scary. She can't understand why Henry couldn't have taken an accounting job in Tucson. Betty says maybe his dreams are bigger.

Betty imagines she sees Fluffy everywhere she looks, urging Betty to hit Charlie or push her in front of a train. The train approaches and the crowd pushes forward. Panicking, Charlie takes Betty's hand and begs her not to let go. An old woman in hair curlers turns into Fluffy and orders, "ditch her."

Charlie gets on the train. Their hands slip apart. (Later, Betty will claim that she let Charlie's hand go, but it looks to me like someone pushed between them. In any case, Betty would have blamed herself just for thinking about it.)

Regardless of Betty's intentions, she is horrified when she sees Charlie screaming in terror on the other side of the train window. As the train pulls away, Betty tells Charlie to get off on the next stop, switch trains, and come back.

But Charlie doesn't do that.

Henry meets Betty at the subway platform. Betty admits that she lost Charlie on purpose. Henry doesn't understand. Betty blurts out that she did it because she likes Henry. She says she broke up with Walter - to be with Henry.

She runs away, but Henry follows her. She allows him to split the cost of a pretzel. She admits that he's not the reason she broke up with Walter; she did it because she didn't love Walter.

Henry observes that their timing sucks, but now she can meet someone new - someone who sees how wonderful, how caring, how beautiful she is...

Their faces are very close. "Is this a good idea?" Betty asks.

"No," Henry sighs, but it looks as though a kiss is about to happen anyway - until Charlie calls from across the street. She rushes toward them, oblivious (she didn't see anything). She babbles on and on about her great adventure. She's become a quite the subway expert. She's excited and wants to stay in the Big City after all. She tells Betty it was fate that separated them!

Betty gives her party tickets to Henry and Charlie and goes home.

Wrapup

Exhausted, Christina and Fido admire their handiwork when Wil breezes in, tired and grumpy. She warns them that Alexis has crossed them. Christina walks out, saying she's not one of Wil's "flying monkeys." Wil says that Christina owes her for her exposure as a designer. (No, it wasn't enough for her that Christina turned in the evidence against Daniel's father. For what it's worth, I didn't think Christina was even going to do that much. I thought for sure that she and Betty would snoop through the package first.)

Soon afterward, Sarah Jessica Parker's "people" call and cancel the dress. Sadly, Fido tells Christina that Wil works fast. She'll get used to it.

Claire visits Bradford in prison. Brad asks why she told Betty that she committed Fey's murder. Claire says she's going to turn herself in. Bradford protests.

Later, Daniel watches his mother get out of a blue Aston-Martin (kind of an anticlimactic ending if you ask me).