Sorry for the delay. This is a shorter recap than this episode really deserves, but it's been the week from hell. I think this covers all the important stuff, anyway:
Brad is released from jail. The first thing he does is fire Alexis. However, Claire (who's detoxing at a hospital awaiting arraignment) reminds Brad that she owns Mode (not all of Meade Publications, but just Mode) for tax-shelter purposes. Therefore, she unfires Alexis and requests that they try to be a family.
Daniel tells Betty he doesn't think Alexis can share anything - Alex always had to "win" at everything. Even when jogging. Daniel, Wil, and Alexis meet in Wil's office and explains his plan to share the responsibilities. Alexis doesn't let him finish his explanation and insists that she doesn't want anything to do with Mode. After Daniel leaves, Wil easily convinces Alexis to pull a fast one on Daniel, take over the magazine and embarrass Bradford in the process. She even volunteers her office to Alexis.
Fido is not pleased with the new, smaller office that Wil moves them into, but Wil gloats and tells Fido it won't be long before Alexis and Daniel are at each other's throats, and then Wil will be put in charge.
Meanwhile, Fido discovers that his mother is coming to town for a cat show. Fluffy offers her services as Fido's fake girlfriend, but Fido says no, he had to dump her because his mom was pressuring him to marry her since they'd been dating for so long. Mom shows up earlier than expected and is under the impression that Fluffy cheated on Fido. As revenge, Fluffy pulls Betty aside and introduces her as Fido's new squeeze. Next thing we know, Fido and his mom are supposed to go to Betty's for dinner that night!
Betty and Fido talk in the restroom. Fido begs Betty to play along. (Funny - he already owes her a big favor for that handbag!) In exchange, he tells her that Alexis is planning to take over and push Daniel out.
Betty relays this information to Daniel, who confronts Alexis: he thought she wasn't interested in Mode. Alexis claims that she's doing this for Mom. Daniel is skeptical, but tells her he needs her half of the editorial letter by noon tomorrow, when they'll go to press.
After Daniel leaves, Alexis tells her airheaded intern, Nick Pepper, that they need to be done by midnight because she's going to redo the whole issue and bring it to press early, shutting Daniel out. She does a photo shoot in her office, flaunting all of her feminine charms, knowing Bradford will be mortified. She writes an editorial letter filled with bile towards Brad. Privately, Wil and Fido gloat about how well Wil's plan is going.
Betty is disappointed to find that Daniel uses a ghostwriter for his editorial letters, and urges him to write something more personal. Meanwhile, Wil visits Claire at the hospital. She tells Claire that Alexis and Daniel aren't getting along, and hints around that Claire should give her power of attorney. When Claire resists, Wil offers her some vodka. Claire scornfully rebuffs this offer and tells Wil that although Fey was able to become editor-in-chief by being a slut, from now all Mode will always be run by a Meade.
Back at the office, Fido and Betty quiz each other on personal trivia to convince Fido's mom they're a couple. Betty has done her homework, but Fido hasn't. Henry shows up with paychecks and is able to correctly answer all of the questions about Betty. Betty is too absorbed by the task at hand to show much interest, but Henry walks away looking sad. :-(
Mom and her cat show up for dinner at Casa de Suarez. She tells them the cat, Lady Buttons, has been demoted to just plain Buttons for taking last place. Fido gives Dad a gift of a cactus in a ceramic donkey. (Yikes!) The dinner is bizarre and hilarious, with Betty saying awkward things in order to include her Fido trivia. No sane person would ever buy those two as a couple, but as Fido told Betty, his mom sees only what she wants to see.
Mom says that Betty reminds her of Fido's handsome longtime roommate, Chuck. They were so close. Fido says no, they weren't that close, they were just "poker buddies." "A lot of hold 'em," Hilda jokes. Everyone's in on the joke except Fido's mom.
After dinner, Betty invites Fido up to her room for a talk. Dad tells them to keep the door open. Again, only Fido's mom misses the joke. Betty tells Fido she wants the joke to stop, because she keeps thinking Mr. Roper will show up. Fido is afraid that if Mom learns the truth, he'll end up demoted like Buttons. If he disappoints her, they'll end up with no relationship at all. Betty points out the one they have now isn't so great. She also says he's lucky to have a mother at all.
With some after-dinner chitchat, Mom meets Justin and is horrified by his swishiness. She then discovers that Hilda is a single never married mom. Her cat gets away and dad's security monitor goes off when he tries to catch it; that's how she discovers that he's an illegal immigrant. Then Daniel shows up (he wants Betty to read the editorial letter he wrote); he's introduced at Betty's ex. After a quick talk, he is ushered away by Fido. Fido then tells Betty that the letter doesn't matter, because Alexis isn't going to use it. Betty rushes off to warn Daniel.
Fido tells his mom he's breaking up with Betty. Mom is glad. (I don't know where the family is at this point, but they aren't around for this scene.) She complains about Betty's appearance; Fido points out that her family was very nice to them. She complains some more: why should she be paying Dad's taxes (??? he was working under a false tax ID number, which means he was paying taxes), and Hilda's a slut, and as for Justin, "I don't even know what THAT is," she declares. She says he's so swishy, it makes her sick!!
Fido indignantly defends Betty's family again, and adds, "that little boy... swishy... SWISHY..." He gathers his courage. "You wanna talk about swishy? Open your eyes, Mom, and look at your own swishy son."
Mom wants to leave, but Fido pushes her to listen to him. She tells him he's just confused. He denies this and says if she wants to know him, it has to be the REAL him.
But she's not interested. She sarcastically tells him to thank the family for a nice evening, and leaves.
Meanwhile, Daniel and Betty are stuck in traffic, so they leave the taxi and hoof it to the publisher's. Daniel and Alexis race on foot to the strains of Vangelis's "Chariots of Fire" theme. She wins!
Later, Daniel goes to a bar to drown his sorrows. He is resigned to his loss. He shows Betty the proof the publisher kindly gave him. He throws his own letter away (Betty takes it) and says he'll catch up on his partying.
Betty gets home to find Fido waiting for her on the front steps. He tells her how it went. With the Meades still on her mind, Betty tells him that sometimes your family are not the ones who love you the most. (I'm wondering, does anyone love Fido?) It's the family that you have to make for yourself. Fido cheers up and gets his attitude back. He says Betty will always be his little chimichanga. "But that doesn't mean I like you," he sings cheerfully.
Alone on the front steps, Betty reads Daniel's unpublished letter. In it, he describes how he was angry with Alexis at first, when she came back, but now he's happy, and family will keep the magazine going. (As Betty reads, there's a montage of Alexis feeding soup to Claire, and Hilda, Justin, and Ignacio playing Yahtzee.)
The letter ends, "Thanks to you [Alexis], I'm no longer alone." There's a shot of Daniel in bed with a bottle of wine and two women, who get out of his bed still in their underwear - it looks like he be sending them home early.
And on that sad note, we end.
Next time
Dunno. There wasn't a preview.
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