"The Lyin', the Watch, & the Wardrobe" is the actual title of this one, but I like mine better.
In the last few weeks, the idea of doing both a mini and a full recap has fallen by the wayside. I just don't have the time for it and it doesn't seem worth the effort.
Suarez home, day
Dad for some reason demands that Betty come down to fix his breakfast, even though he's usually the one who does the cooking. It turns out to be the setup for a Halloween joke. Hahahaha. Justin comes down in a sailor suit. Is he a sailor? Hells no, he's Gene Kelly from "On the Town." He sings and dances. Hilda wants him to pretend he's a sailor instead.
They talk about Betty's plans for the evening. She's going out on a date with Walter, or as I shall call him, Turd Sandwich. Betty tells Hilda about the HMO's confusion over Dad's Social Security number.
Later, Hilda comes home with groceries and asks him about the Social Security number. He becomes evasive and asks her to help him put up some Halloween decorations.
Brad & Chuck
Brad is angry about the music box, and Chuck is just as surprised as he is. And... that's it for Chuck this week.
Wil's fat Tuesday
Fido shows up in a Betty costume - heavy eyebrows and a big Guadalajara poncho. He gives Wil her messages. They're mostly from boyfriends and there are a couple of messages from "Nico." These seem to especially annoy Wil. She brags about her hot date last night with some young guy named Jason. She's going to date him again tonight. Yes - the same guy two nights in a row. Fido is impressed.
Unfortunately, the news of Wil & Jason has not escaped Fashion TV. In their coverage of last night's date, the reporter sneeringly accuses Wil of "robbing the cradle." Fido scrambles to turn the TV off, but it is too late. Wil sees the whole thing and is horrified. She tells Fido to call Jason and cancel their date, then find her a new date for tonight. And also get out of that horrible Betty costume.
She and Fido go through a stack of photos of possible dates for this evening. They're all too old for her liking. "I think this one's face is on our money," she says of one. Of another, she complains that he leaks.
Christina comes up with Wil's dress for tonight's ball. Wil keeps calling her Carlotta. The size 2 dress is too small. Over Fido's silent but wildly gesticulated protests, Christina timidly suggests that perhaps Wil has gained just a tiny bit of weight. This does not go over well.
Wil tries a heat wrap to shed five pounds. Fido offers her a salad, but she refuses it. She's also annoyed that Nico has called again.
Christina tells Fido that she's located the same dress in a size 4. Fido worries that Wil will find out. Christina says she's going to remove the evidence. Lo and behold, the dress fits, but Wil is immediately suspicious. Christina just can't keep her mouth shut for half a minute and admits that it's a size 4 and she ate the tag. Wil sits down and there is a ripping sound. She chastises herself. She's the one who set the standards, but now she's too old to live up to them.
Christina tries to cheer her up. She says if she shows up to the ball with a hot younger man, tomorrow every woman in America will want to date a younger man. Christina stitches the dress back up while Wil morosely eats a sandwich.
Young Jason shows up for his date with Wil. Just as they are about to leave, Fluffy unhappily announces the arrival of Nico. Turns out Nico is Wil's daughter. Hah, hah, what a big surprise! This is the second time they've set us up to expect one sort of person to visit Wil and end up with another. Last time it was her hot date the Senator, who turned out to be her father. Now it's Nico, her daughter. Whatever! I can't wait to meet the rest of her family. The doctor in the white coat... her sister! The repo man... her uncle! Someone "very close"... her cleaning lady (just to keep things interesting).
Jason looks uncomfortable when he realizes that Wil is old enough to have an adult daughter.
Rewind: Mode in the morning
Betty is headed to work in a butterfly costume. Clad in a safari outfit, the Turd Sandwich accosts her with a butterfly net and gives her a plastic pumpkin full of candy. Gross. I can't stand him.
When she gets to work, she is the only one in costume (Fido already having taken off his poncho and eyebrows). It turns out that the email about a "costume contest" came from Fluffy and Fido and she was the only recipient. Big surprise! Fortunately, she gets the joke and declares herself the winner.
Daniel has lost one of his designer watches that probably costs more than I make in a year. He needs it back for tonight's costume ball (Betty is clearly not invited to this affair) because the actual designer is hosting the ball. Daniel knows he left the watch at one of his bimbos' places, but he's not sure which one. I give him credit for being so meticulous as to take his watch off just for a quickie. Me, I'd want to time myself. Oh well. He doesn't have time to look for it himself, so he makes up a list for Betty to check out, but he can't even remember all of last week's chicks. Betty makes a disapproving face, and Daniel tells her not to give him that look, "the All-Judging Butterfly." This cracks me up so much that if I weren't still distraught from tonight's La Fea Más Bella episode, I'd probably laugh.
A Greek spinach pie is mentioned. I love Greek spinach pie. LOVE IT.
He claims that all of these women were adults. "I checked," he assures her. The funny thing is that I remember him cluelessly hitting on an alleged 12-yo girl a few weeks ago. He tells Betty to ask Fluffy to cover the phones while Betty looks for the watch.
Betty starts calling these bimbos and leaving messages for them. When she explains this task to Fluffy, she remembers that Fluffy is one of Daniel's bimbos, but Fluffy denies that she cares about Daniel's other women. She says it's not like she's planning on marrying him, but then hurriedly starts stuffing her face with the Turd Sandwich's candy.
A man from Accounting saunters up. His name is Henry, but I see no reason not to call him Hotty. He's a bit nerdy, but in a hot way. Too young for me, really, but still hot. He flirts with Betty a bit. After he leaves, Fluffy teases Betty about this. Rummaging some more through Betty's plastic pumpkin, Fluffy finds a gift from the Turd Sandwich: a housekey. The Turd Sandwich wants Betty to move in with him. Gross.
Betty rushes down to the Closet to tell Christina about this development. She tells her how loyal the Turd Sandwich (gross) has been to her, most of the time, except for that one time with the neighborhood slut. She also tells Christina that TS is the only guy she's ever... [meaningful eye-roll]. Oh, right, that's a GREAT reason to hang onto him, Betty. Christina agrees with me, but in a more butterfly-punny, less sarcastic way.
Betty hits the streets, still in her butterfly costume. Note to readers: when going anywhere in costume, bring a change of clothing. Just in case. She is checking up on some of Daniel's bimbos in person, since for some strange reason they didn't return her calls.
The first bimbo wants to know why, if he's so eager to get in touch with her this week, he didn't return her calls last week and why does he send out his assistant to do his dirty work. She vents her frustration on Betty and throws a pair of his underpants at her. She claims that she was Daniel's last chance for happiness.
The Turd Sandwich calls, wanting to know if she finished her candy (i.e. found the key) yet, but she's too busy and flustered to talk to him. She has Daniel on the other line. She suggests sending flowers to all the women, because they might not be in such a good mood. He agrees, and tells her to call Fluffy and have her send a dozen roses to each.
The next woman is simply confused by Daniel's neglect. She's sure they have a sincere relationship, and accuses Betty of trying to sabotage it. She tells Betty she won't give Daniel up without a fight! Betty tears one of her wings in her haste to leave this nutjob.
Betty gets back to the office and is repairing the torn wing when Hotty shows up and offers to help. Turd Sandwich calls again and Betty blows him off. Hotty makes some nerdy butterfly jokes and invites Betty to lunch. Betty refuses, then reconsiders and accepts.
Looking at the bimbo list, Fluffy wonders out loud why Miss Monday isn't getting flowers. Betty says Daniel couldn't remember who that was. It's pretty obvious from Fluffy's reaction that she remembers, though. She crumples up the list and throws it into a drawer alongside an expensive wristwatch and a magazine. (I was hoping it'd be a bridal magazine, but it's just an issue of Mode.)
Who's the boss?
While Betty flits through Manhattan looking for that stupid watch, Daniel visits his mom, Claire, aka Judith Light. Funny, the way they were talking about her last week, I thought she was dead, but it turns out she's only in rehab at a seriously swanky place. She's not having a good time. They took away her perfume and her liquid eyeliner for fear that she'll drink them.
She's annoyed with Daniel for not having visited her once in the 26 days since she's been here. He asks her about Fey. She says if she's going to talk about that, she wants lunch in a proper restaurant. There, Daniel confiscates his mother's wine and they question one another about their love lives, such as they are.
He asks about "that" Christmas 20 years ago, when Daniel was 12. That means he's 32 now (thank goodness for the Windows built-in calculator). He looks much younger. Anyway. She tells him that Fey would sometimes call their house and play the music box at her over the phone just to taunt her. Brad told her he had ended the relationship, but in reality the affair continued right up until six weeks ago - shortly before Fey's death.
She drags the conversation back to Daniel's love life, advising him not to be a philanderer. He wants to hear the rest of the Fey story instead. She wants a sip of wine in return. He reluctantly agrees. She quickly drains the glass and then says she and Fey made Brad choose. Daniel asks who he chose. "One of us is here, and one of us is dead," she concludes. "You figure it out."
He brings her back to the rehab place and signs her back in. It looks as though maybe he got her an extra drink. She warns Daniel to be careful about his father. She says Brad stuck her in this place when she pushed him, and who knows what he'd do with Daniel. He asks if she thinks Brad is capable of murder. Claire says she thinks he's capable of anything.
Mode in the afternoon
Hotty and Betty go to a sushi place for lunch. Betty has never had sushi before and is clearly intimidated by it. He offers to take her someplace else, but she says no, it's good for her to try new things. She punctuates this with a sweeping gesture, which knocks the tray right off of a waitress's hand. This reminds me of the time I was out on a first date at TGI Friday's with this guy named Bryant who turned out to be a jerk, but of course I didn't know that at the time and was quite smitten. I don't recall what I was saying when I waved my hand in a similar fashion and knocked his drink, a virgin concoction called a Gold Medalist which was full of super-staining blueberries, clean off the table and onto the tier below us, where fortunately no one was sitting.
But I digress. I can't help it. Every time she does something goofy, it reminds me of something goofy I've done.
Hotty tries some self-deprecating humor to put Betty at ease. She's too horrified by her clumsiness to be comforted, but I'm totally charmed and in love. And THEN he whips off his glasses, pushes his necktie aside, and tugs open his conservative looking button-down shirt to reveal a Superman-looking undershirt with a dollar sign where the S would be. OMG, now I'm REALLY in love. I would SO be spilling Gold Medalists all over the place if I were Betty. I would be going into other restaurants looking for additional drinks to spill.
Meanwhile, instead of sending flowers, Fluffy calls the bimbos and pretends to be from a health clinic, saying that Daniel has scabies and giving them advice on how to treat it. Turd Sandwich shows up and wants to see Betty. Fluffy tells him that Betty is at the sushi place with "what's-his-face." He leaves.
Betty wants to know why Hotty's been spending so much time on her floor lately. Duh. He shoves a piece of caterpillar roll (or something) in her mouth. (Over here, baby!) Turd Sandwich shows up. Gross. He accuses her of cheating on him and demands an explanation. When Hotty offers to make himself scarce, Turd Sandwich says no, he'll go instead since clearly he embarrasses her. Listen, TS, you embarrass me too. Please don't come back. Go program a remote control or something.
Back at the office, Betty whines about this to Christina. She complains that while a guy like Daniel can juggle lots of women, she can't even manage to date two men, and that she can't decide whether to go find the Turd Sandwich and apologize, or go find Hotty and thank him for a nice lunch. She worries that she is turning into Daniel. Christina scoffs.
Betty realizes that Fluffy sent herself flowers because she's Miss Monday. Fluffy flees to the restroom and Betty follows her into a spacious, frosted-glass stall which I can't decide whether that's really cool, or too creepy for a bathroom. Betty is mad at Fluffy for letting her run around all over town trying to track down the watch when she very well knows where that watch is. Fluffy admits that she is disappointed that Daniel can't remember that he was with her on Monday night. Actually she is worse than disappointed - she's crying.
Betty wants Fluffy to discuss this with Daniel, but Fluffy thinks it's pretty clear how he feels about her since she's supposed to sleep with him and then take the other bimbos' messages for him. She thought he would eventually get sick of serial dating, like she did. In fact, she's sure he will. Then she composes herself, gets her attitude back, and tells Betty "this never happened."
Betty gives the watch to Daniel. He asks "which one" had it. She replies, "does it matter?" He thinks for a moment and answers "not really, I guess." She gives him a sad look and he protests that he sent roses to all of them. (Actually Fluffy sent them and it was Betty's idea.) She says she can't deny that he can do whatever he wants, but reminds him that people do get hurt as a result of his actions. He says he's had a rough week and has had a lot on his mind.
Wrapup
Daniel brings Brad both the music boxes and confronts him. Brad flippantly advises Daniel never to buy the same gift for both his wife and his mistress. He says he was careless with Claire's feelings, and that Fey wouldn't back off. He admits that he loved Fey more than the "many, many other" girfriends, one of whom must be their mystery caller looking for revenge. Daniel shows Brad the scorched license plate from the music box. Brad denies involvement in Fey's death but admits that he's a lousy husband and father. He advises Daniel to settle down with one woman.
Betty meets Hotty in the elevator. She thanks him for lunch, and he apologizes for putting her through the stress. He invites her to a party in HR. She turns him down in favor of a Turd Sandwich. Gross. He's disappointed, and I want to soothe him with a hot bath, some Night Train, and a spanking. Then we can watch insect pr0n together and then... oh, sorry. Back to the recap.
Fluffy meets Daniel in the elevator. He admits that he's not in the mood to attend the Halloween ball, so she invites herself to his place, but he turns down her flirtatious offer. He says he just wants to be alone. Then she desperately suggests that they could "just talk" and he turns that down too. Not knowing that Daniel has spent most of the day with his bitter, jilted, alcoholic mother and his homicidal father and being scolded by everyone he knows for his playboy lifestyle, Fluffy leaves feeling rejected and depressed and probably heads straight for the ice cream aisle at the store. I recommend Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra but I don't know if they sell that in the size she's going to need.
Wil meets with Fey, who is getting toasted under a sunlamp or something, which may not be helpful since she's still swaddled like a mummy, and Wil complains about her crummy day and how her kid showed up just as she was leaving with her date. She says she sent Jason back home to his frat house to bob for apples. Fey is more interested in Brad and Daniel. Wil says it looks as though they've patched things up, at least for the time being. Fey says it might be time for Fey Somers to come out of seclusion.
To Hilda's horror, Justin is tap-dancing down the sidewalk in his sailor suit when Betty gets home. Turd Sandwich makes Betty reach into his pocket for raisins (that's not a euphemism). She apologizes about lunch and he apologizes for being too pushy and regrets taking the advice of a horoscope from the Daily News. Yeah, no doubt he'll have more luck with the horoscopes in the Times or the Wall Street Journal. She tells TS she prefers him (she must need new glasses) over Hotty; it's just too soon to move in. She kisses him. Gross.
Dad greets her dressed as Dracula. He is geriatrically handsome in his costume. He admits he's been using someone else's SSN because he's an illegal alien. Betty stares at him, impactada.
Next week: Salma Hayek (or Dad's favorite telenovela actress) sets her sights on Daniel, much to Fluffy's annoyance.
2006-10-27
2006-10-20
10/19/06: Justin likes the Closet
Brad's upset. He can't find that music box he stole from Fey's house. I thought he had burnt it, but I guess he decided at the last minute not to. And in the "previously on Ugly Betty" thing, they showed Wil stealing it, which is weird because I don't remember seeing that last week or whenever it was (maybe I was typing!). So... the music box is missing, and apparently Wil has it, and Brad's very worried.
Is Brad unaware that Wil and Fey were close friends? Hasn't it occurred to him that Wil may know all the same secrets about him and his company that Fey knew? Clearly, he doesn't trust her much since he snubbed her on that promotion, but on the other hand, why wouldn't he have warned Daniel if he thought she could be a problem? Is this a plot hole, or will it make sense eventually? Maybe he's setting Daniel up to take the fall for Meade Publications! Nice guy.
Betty is at a networking party. For some reason, she is taking advice from Fido and Amanda.
Wait. I have to take care of something right now. I like the name "Amanda," and I know some nice people named Amanda. I even used to have a car named Amanda. (Don't ask.) I can't in good conscience continue calling this woman by her name, so I'm going to give her a nickname. It shall be Fluffy.
Fido and Fluffy are giving Betty some social and dietary advice for the party. What to eat, how to behave. They encourage her to "work the room." I don't know why she listens to them, considering what they did to her graduation bunny, and I especially don't know why she asks for their advice, but she sets about working the room. The first thing she does is run into some man and spill his drink. Fido and Fluffy capture the moment on their camera phones. Then she accosts some woman who's known as Fat Carol. Betty admires her because she's eating a grilled cheese sandwich, unlike all their calorie-conscious coworkers, but Carol seems unfriendly and expresses envy for Betty's job. Fat Carol insinuates that Betty is too fat.
A super-guapo dude approaches Betty. He is Carlo Medina, from the competitor magazine Isabella. He starts flattering her. He says she's a legend.
Brad's assistant reminds him to sign off on the holiday spread. Wil, Daniel, and the new photographer Vincent (henceforth "Vinnie") show him their great concept: post-apocalyptic Christmas. "A Mad Max-mas, if you will," Daniel announces proudly. Brad is taken aback, and excuses himself without explanation.
Wil goes to Fey and gleefully relates this incident They enjoy the music box, which has an inscription on it that I can't quite read but it's safe to assume it's incriminating.
Betty gets home all a-twitter until she sees Walter, her dopey ex, eating dinner with her family. Hilda says it's Tamale Night, as if that explains anything, but Betty's too hungry and excited to fight about it, so she ignores him, sits down (confiscating her father's coffee) and tells them about the networking party: She had a great time, and this Carlo guy kept complimenting her about how she saved the Fabia layout, etc etc. An admiring crowd gathered to listen to her story about how it was all Daniel's idea (actually it was her idea, but that's her story and she's sticking to it), and Carlo bought her a drink.
Walter keeps interrupting her story and making snide remarks about how she didn't used to drink but now she's a boozer and she eats too much. She ignores him some more. I don't mean that she's rude to him; I mean it's like he's not even there.
Meanwhile, in Daniel's loft, Fluffy undresses while telling Daniel that Betty totally hogged the spotlight and bragged about the Fabia layout. (In Fluffy's flashback, we see that Betty keeps saying nice things about Daniel, while Fluffy interrupts to hit on Carlo.)
Fido tells Wil that Betty was dorky and socially inept. (In Fido's flashback, we see that Betty's narrative is enthralling the crowd, while Fido gripes to Carlo about how hairy Betty is.) Wil doesn't want to hear this story - not unless it contains information she can use to destroy Daniel. She warns Fido that he's replaceable. He has an apparent asthma attack.
The next day, Justin has a go-to-a-grownup's-job-for-a-day thing for school. Naturally, he wants to go to Mode with Betty. He and Betty share an elevator with Fido and Fluffy. Justin excitedly identifies Fluffy's shoes... which are from some designer's 2004 collection. Fluffy is embarrassed. Fido mocks her. They get up to the office to find Vinnie flipping out: Isabella has stolen ALL of their ideas for the holiday layout. Behind Betty's back, Fido and Fluffy quake in fear; it's obvious they're the ones who leaked the info to Carlo. But all Betty can think of is how he bought her a drink. Who knows what she might have told him in her margarita-induced drunken stupor?
Daniel calls an emergency meeting. Wil takes over and starts threatening the staff, demanding that the culprit come forward to be punished, ensuring that no one will volunteer. Except maybe someone like Betty. She timidly starts to raise her hand, but Fido slaps it down and Fluffy kicks her in the shin before Wil can see. Wil says fine, I'm going to consider all of you guilty. We have two days to come up with a new layout.
As nicely as possible, Daniel tells them they'll need to cancel their plans over the next couple of days. Wil interrupts and says "what Daniel means is, kiss your loved ones goodbye and expect to come home to dead pets." Okay, if you ask me, Brad had the wrong woman whacked. The meeting adjourns and Fido and Fluffy drag Betty off to the ladies' room just in time to see Carol come out of a stall wiping her mouth. "I ate half of a bagel," she explains (yuck), and leaves the bathroom without washing her hands. (Double-yuck!)
Fido, Fluffy, and Betty compare notes on what they told Carlo at the party last night. Carlo kept trying to get Betty to bad-mouth her boss, but she wouldn't do it. She did let slip, however, that her brilliant boss came up with the idea to use tanks in the holiday layout.
Fido claims that Carlo approached him, not the other way around, as if that will make him less gay, not that there's anything wrong with that (I'm having terrible Seinfeld flashbacks ever since Fido revealed that he has a pet named Schmoopy). He let slip that Wil was the one who picked out the designer and came up with the idea of using flak jackets. And he hit on Carlo.
Fluffy, who is nervously gobbling junk food, claims that she had only one drink, which is true if you don't count the other three on the table in front of her in her flashback, and supposedly was trying to pump him for information. She told him the layout was her idea, and that they were doing a scene from Planet of the Apes where Santa (instead of the Statue of Liberty) is half-buried in the sand holding up Baby New Year. Fluffy said she only knew about this movie because she dated a geek once. Carlo slyly told her maybe she would again someday, and bought her another drink. (Fido scoffs at the insinuation that Carlo isn't gay.)
Betty thinks it would be a great idea for the three of them to confess to Wil. Fluffy says, "have you been smoking one of your ponchos?" Fido says Isabella stole additional stuff from their layout that the three of them didn't tell him about, so they're not the sole culprits. (Why isn't anyone considering Carol? Isn't she obvious?) Fluffy says "you are one of us now, the assistants' club" and they have to stick together. Betty agrees, and F&F stroll out arm-in-arm.
Brad meets with Chuck. He wants to know who stole the music box, which he stupidly left on his desk overnight. Chuck asks why he didn't burn the box; Brad says it was personal. Uh, well, that's how it is with incriminating evidence, Brad. That's why we burn it. (Chuck didn't say that; I did.) Apparently, he was having an affair with Fey. (In case you hadn't already guessed that.) The only other person who knew about the affair? His wife! (And apparently also anyone else Fey felt like blabbing it to; again, it's odd that Brad doesn't think Wil knows anything.)
Back in Queens, Walter is hanging out at the Suarez house again, annoying Betty's father, who reminds Walter that he cheated on her. Walter claims that he loves her. (Dad sneaks a sip of coffee from Walter's cup when Walter isn't looking.) Dad tells Walter a story about a fight he once had with Betty's mother, while Walter plays with the remote controls. He turns on the stero while Dad is still talking. (According to the closed captions, the stereo is playing "Whip It" by Devo, but that's incorrect. :-) Dad tells him about how he borrowed a scene from the movie "Pretty Woman" to get Betty's mother to speak to him again. Walter seems not to be paying much attention. (Dad finishes Walter's coffee.)
A case worker from the HMO calls to confirm Dad's appointment - she wants to discuss some of his claims and it sounds like she's going to agree to pay them. Betty has busted her butt trying to set this meeting up, but for some reason Dad doesn't want to go to the appointment.
Wil and Brad ride up together to Brad's office. Wil suggests not telling him what happened. She says they can work together and hide the problem from him. Wil says she'll work on the leak, and Daniel agrees to work on the spread.
Daniel gives orders to his staff. Betty takes notes. Justin takes notes too. Daniel has Fluffy go out for groceries. A strange woman (obviously Fey) calls, and Daniel tells Betty he won't take her calls until she says who she is. (Didn't he ever meet Fey before? Strange that he doesn't recognize her voice.) She leaves a message instead. She says Brad has lots of secrets, and one of them is in the music box. Betty shrugs.
There's a montage of everyone scrambling to get information and come up with stuff for the new spread. Fluffy comes back with the groceries and they are gone in seconds, except for the particularly fattening items she has set aside for herself. Fido calls Betty and Fluffy with status reports as Wil grills each department, trying to identify the leak.
Down in Wardrobe, Christina thinks "Skinny Carol" is the person who leaked the info. Justin enjoys pawing through all the fashion stuff.
That evening, while Betty walks back to the office from a grocery run, Brad pulls up alongside her in his limo, like a creepy gangster. Does he offer her a ride to the office? Hells no, he just asks her about the phone calls. He tells Betty it's probably a disgruntled former employee, and asks Betty to let him know everything this woman says, "for certain legal reasons." She tells him about the music box. He asks if she said where it was. Betty says no, he grumbles and rolls up his window and the limo drives away. Dick!
Betty brings dinner to Daniel. He tells her she can go home, and adds, "I'm sure your nephew is sick of the closet by now." (Insert joke here.) Betty tries to tell Daniel about her participation in Carlo's fishing expedition, but he doesn't want to hear about it. He's not angry - he says he just doesn't have time to worry about that and he doesn't need to hear about every single thing if it means he could end up losing her. Aw, how sweet! He tells her again to go home.
Fido serves Wil her dinner while she talks on the phone. My goodness. Dogs serving dinner to their masters. What is this world coming to? After Wil's conversation ends, she asks Fido if Carlo Medina was at the party. Um, duh, Wil, maybe you should have listened when Fido was telling you about it this morning?
At home that night, Dad watches his favorite telenovela (and I have it on good authority that these little telenovela snippets were produced by Rosy Ocampo, of La Fea Más Bella fame) while Justin goes on and on about how great the Closet was, annoying Hilda who is obviously tasting sour grapes. The doorbell rings, and no one gets up, so Betty has to answer it in her bathrobe with a stripe of bleaching creme across her upper lip. It's Fido and Fluffy. Now they're both eating. They warn Betty that Wil wants to see them at 10 tomorrow morning.
She lets them in and they aren't nice. Fluffy tries to eat some plastic fruit. (Given how she's been eating today, I suspect real fruit would probably kill her.) Dad offers her some flan. Fluffy is skeptical until Dad explains that it's custard. Fluffy's attitude is transformed. Fido and Fluffy want to pin this on Carol. Betty is sure that Carol's not involved. (I'm not sure why.) Fluffy eats a whole pan of flan and wants a refill. Betty goes to the kitchen to talk to her father. He tells her that sometimes we have to keep secrets in order to survive. (What's his secret? The HMO thing?)
Meanwhile, Daniel, Wil, and the photographer brainstorm. They (mostly Daniel) come up with a Lawrence of Arabia theme and Kwanzaa. Then Wil reminds them of Fey's incredibly popular 1986 holiday issue - Fey's Sleigh Ride. It was a big deal because it was the first time a fashion editor had ever put herself in a magazine spread. She suggests an empty sleigh this year as a tribute. They agree.
The next day, on the elevator, Fat Carol taunts Fido, Fluffy, and Betty about losing their jobs and says Betty's even fatter than she is. She's so smug that it is difficult to believe that she's not responsible for the leak.
Daniel stands in his office, staring at a music box that has mysteriously appeared on his desk. Betty comes in with his coffee and stops short (another Seinfeld episode) when she sees the music box. Daniel tells her that his father once gave a music box to his mother when he was a kid, but a few days later she hid it in the attic and burned 1000 copies of Mode. But this isn't that music box. Fortunately, Daniel is smart enough that we don't have to wait three months for him to put all the pieces together like you would on a daytime soap opera. He realizes that this is an identical music box, which his father gave to his mistress. And he knows who that mistress was - now he realizes why Fey put herself in that holiday spread - to rub their affair in his mother's face.
Betty shows Daniel that the music box has an upper tray which can be removed to get to a lower compartment. In there, they find a scorched piece of NY license plate and some semi-melted sunglasses. They realize that the mysterious caller is trying to link Brad to Fey's death.
Justin shows up at Betty's desk just as Hilda calls. Hilda is livid. Justin has given her the slip. She tells Betty there is no school project - he's ditching school to hang out at the magazine. She Does Not Approve! Betty lectures Justin about how Mode is a hive of scum and villainy and she doesn't want him to hang around there and be corrupted by the terrible morals of her lying, cheating coworkers. (Fido hyperventilates quietly at his desk and takes a few hits off his inhaler.) Fluffy says it's time for their meeting with Wil.
Wil invites them to confess. Fido says it was Fat Carol. Fluffy agrees. Wil asks Betty if that's what she saw. Betty says no, it was her; she told Carlo everything. Wil doesn't seize this opportunity to get rid of Betty; she tells them to go back to their desks. She says she has informants of her own, and she knows what happened. The three of them all gave Carlo a few scraps of info, but Carlo took one for the team and slept with Carol in order to get her to tell him everything. She tells them that their last day and a half of work (stress, overtime) is punishment enough; Carlo took advantage of their drunkenness/horniness/naïveté. On the other hand, Carol gave up her information on purpose, so she's the one who will get fired.
Betty takes Justin to the emergency photo shoot. Fido makes friends with Justin. Justin says that the kids at school don't really understand him. Fido gives him some advice: "Be who you are, wear what you want - just learn how to run real fast."
Brad comes in and notices this isn't the spread he approved, but he admits it might be even better than Fey's. They are just about to start lensing when Daniel says "wait - there's one thing missing." He whips out the music box and puts it on the sleigh. Brad is flustered and asked Daniel where he found it. Daniel says he remembered Mom's music box and got it from the attic. He adds, "it looks just like the one Fey had, don't you think?" (It must have been in the Fey's Sleigh Ride spread and I didn't see it.) Brad brushes off this remark, saying "almost identical." In a close-up, we can read the inscription on this music box: "To My Claire With Undying Love."
Fey gloats to Wil over the phone about the suspicion she has sparked between father and son. Then Carlo shows up in Will's office, in answer to her summons. She gives him quite the dressing-down for his underhanded tactics, then offers him a job.
Hilda reads Justin the riot act and tells him his punishment for ditching school, which includes no Fashion TV for a month. He smiles and says it was all worth it for getting to spend time at Mode. Hilda is still angry with Betty.
Betty visits with the HMO lady, who informs her that according to their records, Ignacio Suarez (her father) is 117 years old and dead. Clearly, Dad is using someone else's Social Security number. Betty gets home and her father offers her something to eat. She just wants to go straight to bed, but Walter is outside on a karaoke machine singing a song from Beauty and the Beast, Betty's favorite movie. She sits down on the steps and sings with him. Gag me with a spoon.
Next time:
Fido wears a scary costume.
I give Walter a new nickname, or possibly revive "Turd Sandwich."
Is Brad unaware that Wil and Fey were close friends? Hasn't it occurred to him that Wil may know all the same secrets about him and his company that Fey knew? Clearly, he doesn't trust her much since he snubbed her on that promotion, but on the other hand, why wouldn't he have warned Daniel if he thought she could be a problem? Is this a plot hole, or will it make sense eventually? Maybe he's setting Daniel up to take the fall for Meade Publications! Nice guy.
Betty is at a networking party. For some reason, she is taking advice from Fido and Amanda.
Wait. I have to take care of something right now. I like the name "Amanda," and I know some nice people named Amanda. I even used to have a car named Amanda. (Don't ask.) I can't in good conscience continue calling this woman by her name, so I'm going to give her a nickname. It shall be Fluffy.
Fido and Fluffy are giving Betty some social and dietary advice for the party. What to eat, how to behave. They encourage her to "work the room." I don't know why she listens to them, considering what they did to her graduation bunny, and I especially don't know why she asks for their advice, but she sets about working the room. The first thing she does is run into some man and spill his drink. Fido and Fluffy capture the moment on their camera phones. Then she accosts some woman who's known as Fat Carol. Betty admires her because she's eating a grilled cheese sandwich, unlike all their calorie-conscious coworkers, but Carol seems unfriendly and expresses envy for Betty's job. Fat Carol insinuates that Betty is too fat.
A super-guapo dude approaches Betty. He is Carlo Medina, from the competitor magazine Isabella. He starts flattering her. He says she's a legend.
Brad's assistant reminds him to sign off on the holiday spread. Wil, Daniel, and the new photographer Vincent (henceforth "Vinnie") show him their great concept: post-apocalyptic Christmas. "A Mad Max-mas, if you will," Daniel announces proudly. Brad is taken aback, and excuses himself without explanation.
Wil goes to Fey and gleefully relates this incident They enjoy the music box, which has an inscription on it that I can't quite read but it's safe to assume it's incriminating.
Betty gets home all a-twitter until she sees Walter, her dopey ex, eating dinner with her family. Hilda says it's Tamale Night, as if that explains anything, but Betty's too hungry and excited to fight about it, so she ignores him, sits down (confiscating her father's coffee) and tells them about the networking party: She had a great time, and this Carlo guy kept complimenting her about how she saved the Fabia layout, etc etc. An admiring crowd gathered to listen to her story about how it was all Daniel's idea (actually it was her idea, but that's her story and she's sticking to it), and Carlo bought her a drink.
Walter keeps interrupting her story and making snide remarks about how she didn't used to drink but now she's a boozer and she eats too much. She ignores him some more. I don't mean that she's rude to him; I mean it's like he's not even there.
Meanwhile, in Daniel's loft, Fluffy undresses while telling Daniel that Betty totally hogged the spotlight and bragged about the Fabia layout. (In Fluffy's flashback, we see that Betty keeps saying nice things about Daniel, while Fluffy interrupts to hit on Carlo.)
Fido tells Wil that Betty was dorky and socially inept. (In Fido's flashback, we see that Betty's narrative is enthralling the crowd, while Fido gripes to Carlo about how hairy Betty is.) Wil doesn't want to hear this story - not unless it contains information she can use to destroy Daniel. She warns Fido that he's replaceable. He has an apparent asthma attack.
The next day, Justin has a go-to-a-grownup's-job-for-a-day thing for school. Naturally, he wants to go to Mode with Betty. He and Betty share an elevator with Fido and Fluffy. Justin excitedly identifies Fluffy's shoes... which are from some designer's 2004 collection. Fluffy is embarrassed. Fido mocks her. They get up to the office to find Vinnie flipping out: Isabella has stolen ALL of their ideas for the holiday layout. Behind Betty's back, Fido and Fluffy quake in fear; it's obvious they're the ones who leaked the info to Carlo. But all Betty can think of is how he bought her a drink. Who knows what she might have told him in her margarita-induced drunken stupor?
Daniel calls an emergency meeting. Wil takes over and starts threatening the staff, demanding that the culprit come forward to be punished, ensuring that no one will volunteer. Except maybe someone like Betty. She timidly starts to raise her hand, but Fido slaps it down and Fluffy kicks her in the shin before Wil can see. Wil says fine, I'm going to consider all of you guilty. We have two days to come up with a new layout.
As nicely as possible, Daniel tells them they'll need to cancel their plans over the next couple of days. Wil interrupts and says "what Daniel means is, kiss your loved ones goodbye and expect to come home to dead pets." Okay, if you ask me, Brad had the wrong woman whacked. The meeting adjourns and Fido and Fluffy drag Betty off to the ladies' room just in time to see Carol come out of a stall wiping her mouth. "I ate half of a bagel," she explains (yuck), and leaves the bathroom without washing her hands. (Double-yuck!)
Fido, Fluffy, and Betty compare notes on what they told Carlo at the party last night. Carlo kept trying to get Betty to bad-mouth her boss, but she wouldn't do it. She did let slip, however, that her brilliant boss came up with the idea to use tanks in the holiday layout.
Fido claims that Carlo approached him, not the other way around, as if that will make him less gay, not that there's anything wrong with that (I'm having terrible Seinfeld flashbacks ever since Fido revealed that he has a pet named Schmoopy). He let slip that Wil was the one who picked out the designer and came up with the idea of using flak jackets. And he hit on Carlo.
Fluffy, who is nervously gobbling junk food, claims that she had only one drink, which is true if you don't count the other three on the table in front of her in her flashback, and supposedly was trying to pump him for information. She told him the layout was her idea, and that they were doing a scene from Planet of the Apes where Santa (instead of the Statue of Liberty) is half-buried in the sand holding up Baby New Year. Fluffy said she only knew about this movie because she dated a geek once. Carlo slyly told her maybe she would again someday, and bought her another drink. (Fido scoffs at the insinuation that Carlo isn't gay.)
Betty thinks it would be a great idea for the three of them to confess to Wil. Fluffy says, "have you been smoking one of your ponchos?" Fido says Isabella stole additional stuff from their layout that the three of them didn't tell him about, so they're not the sole culprits. (Why isn't anyone considering Carol? Isn't she obvious?) Fluffy says "you are one of us now, the assistants' club" and they have to stick together. Betty agrees, and F&F stroll out arm-in-arm.
Brad meets with Chuck. He wants to know who stole the music box, which he stupidly left on his desk overnight. Chuck asks why he didn't burn the box; Brad says it was personal. Uh, well, that's how it is with incriminating evidence, Brad. That's why we burn it. (Chuck didn't say that; I did.) Apparently, he was having an affair with Fey. (In case you hadn't already guessed that.) The only other person who knew about the affair? His wife! (And apparently also anyone else Fey felt like blabbing it to; again, it's odd that Brad doesn't think Wil knows anything.)
Back in Queens, Walter is hanging out at the Suarez house again, annoying Betty's father, who reminds Walter that he cheated on her. Walter claims that he loves her. (Dad sneaks a sip of coffee from Walter's cup when Walter isn't looking.) Dad tells Walter a story about a fight he once had with Betty's mother, while Walter plays with the remote controls. He turns on the stero while Dad is still talking. (According to the closed captions, the stereo is playing "Whip It" by Devo, but that's incorrect. :-) Dad tells him about how he borrowed a scene from the movie "Pretty Woman" to get Betty's mother to speak to him again. Walter seems not to be paying much attention. (Dad finishes Walter's coffee.)
A case worker from the HMO calls to confirm Dad's appointment - she wants to discuss some of his claims and it sounds like she's going to agree to pay them. Betty has busted her butt trying to set this meeting up, but for some reason Dad doesn't want to go to the appointment.
Wil and Brad ride up together to Brad's office. Wil suggests not telling him what happened. She says they can work together and hide the problem from him. Wil says she'll work on the leak, and Daniel agrees to work on the spread.
Daniel gives orders to his staff. Betty takes notes. Justin takes notes too. Daniel has Fluffy go out for groceries. A strange woman (obviously Fey) calls, and Daniel tells Betty he won't take her calls until she says who she is. (Didn't he ever meet Fey before? Strange that he doesn't recognize her voice.) She leaves a message instead. She says Brad has lots of secrets, and one of them is in the music box. Betty shrugs.
There's a montage of everyone scrambling to get information and come up with stuff for the new spread. Fluffy comes back with the groceries and they are gone in seconds, except for the particularly fattening items she has set aside for herself. Fido calls Betty and Fluffy with status reports as Wil grills each department, trying to identify the leak.
Down in Wardrobe, Christina thinks "Skinny Carol" is the person who leaked the info. Justin enjoys pawing through all the fashion stuff.
That evening, while Betty walks back to the office from a grocery run, Brad pulls up alongside her in his limo, like a creepy gangster. Does he offer her a ride to the office? Hells no, he just asks her about the phone calls. He tells Betty it's probably a disgruntled former employee, and asks Betty to let him know everything this woman says, "for certain legal reasons." She tells him about the music box. He asks if she said where it was. Betty says no, he grumbles and rolls up his window and the limo drives away. Dick!
Betty brings dinner to Daniel. He tells her she can go home, and adds, "I'm sure your nephew is sick of the closet by now." (Insert joke here.) Betty tries to tell Daniel about her participation in Carlo's fishing expedition, but he doesn't want to hear about it. He's not angry - he says he just doesn't have time to worry about that and he doesn't need to hear about every single thing if it means he could end up losing her. Aw, how sweet! He tells her again to go home.
Fido serves Wil her dinner while she talks on the phone. My goodness. Dogs serving dinner to their masters. What is this world coming to? After Wil's conversation ends, she asks Fido if Carlo Medina was at the party. Um, duh, Wil, maybe you should have listened when Fido was telling you about it this morning?
At home that night, Dad watches his favorite telenovela (and I have it on good authority that these little telenovela snippets were produced by Rosy Ocampo, of La Fea Más Bella fame) while Justin goes on and on about how great the Closet was, annoying Hilda who is obviously tasting sour grapes. The doorbell rings, and no one gets up, so Betty has to answer it in her bathrobe with a stripe of bleaching creme across her upper lip. It's Fido and Fluffy. Now they're both eating. They warn Betty that Wil wants to see them at 10 tomorrow morning.
She lets them in and they aren't nice. Fluffy tries to eat some plastic fruit. (Given how she's been eating today, I suspect real fruit would probably kill her.) Dad offers her some flan. Fluffy is skeptical until Dad explains that it's custard. Fluffy's attitude is transformed. Fido and Fluffy want to pin this on Carol. Betty is sure that Carol's not involved. (I'm not sure why.) Fluffy eats a whole pan of flan and wants a refill. Betty goes to the kitchen to talk to her father. He tells her that sometimes we have to keep secrets in order to survive. (What's his secret? The HMO thing?)
Meanwhile, Daniel, Wil, and the photographer brainstorm. They (mostly Daniel) come up with a Lawrence of Arabia theme and Kwanzaa. Then Wil reminds them of Fey's incredibly popular 1986 holiday issue - Fey's Sleigh Ride. It was a big deal because it was the first time a fashion editor had ever put herself in a magazine spread. She suggests an empty sleigh this year as a tribute. They agree.
The next day, on the elevator, Fat Carol taunts Fido, Fluffy, and Betty about losing their jobs and says Betty's even fatter than she is. She's so smug that it is difficult to believe that she's not responsible for the leak.
Daniel stands in his office, staring at a music box that has mysteriously appeared on his desk. Betty comes in with his coffee and stops short (another Seinfeld episode) when she sees the music box. Daniel tells her that his father once gave a music box to his mother when he was a kid, but a few days later she hid it in the attic and burned 1000 copies of Mode. But this isn't that music box. Fortunately, Daniel is smart enough that we don't have to wait three months for him to put all the pieces together like you would on a daytime soap opera. He realizes that this is an identical music box, which his father gave to his mistress. And he knows who that mistress was - now he realizes why Fey put herself in that holiday spread - to rub their affair in his mother's face.
Betty shows Daniel that the music box has an upper tray which can be removed to get to a lower compartment. In there, they find a scorched piece of NY license plate and some semi-melted sunglasses. They realize that the mysterious caller is trying to link Brad to Fey's death.
Justin shows up at Betty's desk just as Hilda calls. Hilda is livid. Justin has given her the slip. She tells Betty there is no school project - he's ditching school to hang out at the magazine. She Does Not Approve! Betty lectures Justin about how Mode is a hive of scum and villainy and she doesn't want him to hang around there and be corrupted by the terrible morals of her lying, cheating coworkers. (Fido hyperventilates quietly at his desk and takes a few hits off his inhaler.) Fluffy says it's time for their meeting with Wil.
Wil invites them to confess. Fido says it was Fat Carol. Fluffy agrees. Wil asks Betty if that's what she saw. Betty says no, it was her; she told Carlo everything. Wil doesn't seize this opportunity to get rid of Betty; she tells them to go back to their desks. She says she has informants of her own, and she knows what happened. The three of them all gave Carlo a few scraps of info, but Carlo took one for the team and slept with Carol in order to get her to tell him everything. She tells them that their last day and a half of work (stress, overtime) is punishment enough; Carlo took advantage of their drunkenness/horniness/naïveté. On the other hand, Carol gave up her information on purpose, so she's the one who will get fired.
Betty takes Justin to the emergency photo shoot. Fido makes friends with Justin. Justin says that the kids at school don't really understand him. Fido gives him some advice: "Be who you are, wear what you want - just learn how to run real fast."
Brad comes in and notices this isn't the spread he approved, but he admits it might be even better than Fey's. They are just about to start lensing when Daniel says "wait - there's one thing missing." He whips out the music box and puts it on the sleigh. Brad is flustered and asked Daniel where he found it. Daniel says he remembered Mom's music box and got it from the attic. He adds, "it looks just like the one Fey had, don't you think?" (It must have been in the Fey's Sleigh Ride spread and I didn't see it.) Brad brushes off this remark, saying "almost identical." In a close-up, we can read the inscription on this music box: "To My Claire With Undying Love."
Fey gloats to Wil over the phone about the suspicion she has sparked between father and son. Then Carlo shows up in Will's office, in answer to her summons. She gives him quite the dressing-down for his underhanded tactics, then offers him a job.
Hilda reads Justin the riot act and tells him his punishment for ditching school, which includes no Fashion TV for a month. He smiles and says it was all worth it for getting to spend time at Mode. Hilda is still angry with Betty.
Betty visits with the HMO lady, who informs her that according to their records, Ignacio Suarez (her father) is 117 years old and dead. Clearly, Dad is using someone else's Social Security number. Betty gets home and her father offers her something to eat. She just wants to go straight to bed, but Walter is outside on a karaoke machine singing a song from Beauty and the Beast, Betty's favorite movie. She sits down on the steps and sings with him. Gag me with a spoon.
Next time:
Fido wears a scary costume.
I give Walter a new nickname, or possibly revive "Turd Sandwich."
2006-10-14
10/12/06: Betty, what have you done?
Chuck is having trouble finding Fey's wrecked car. Brad says if he doesn't find it, the investigators will eventually discover that the steering mechanism had been sabotaged.
Chuck finally tracks it down, but there's a problem: Fey's "death car" isn't where he can get to it easily. It's up for sale on an eBay-like site.
Fey and Wil drink a toast to Brad and Daniel's downfall. Wil's strategy is to feed the tension between father and son. Fey wants to help too: she wants Daniel to know what his father is capable of.
Betty can't get into the club where Daniel is celebrating the success of his first issue of Mode. She asks Amanda to vouch for her, but Amanda walks by with her nose in the air. Inside, Wil and Fido bad-mouth Daniel to one another.
Betty comes home to find Justin and Walter playing Dance Dance Revolution in her living room. Walter asks Betty why she was out so late at the party (it's now 9:45, he notes disapprovingly). She tells him it's none of his business since he dumped her. He tells her he brought the game as a gift and he had to pay full price for it. She's not impressed. She holds the door open for him to leave.
Justin asks about the club and wants a matchbook. He also critiques the recent Mode issue. Hilda sends him out of the room and guesses that Betty wasn't allowed in. She says such places aren't for "people like us." (Why can't she just say "latinos" or whatever?) She says it's all about hair, face, clothes - "look it to be it." Betty rejects this, but Hilda tells her that those people won't change. Betty will have to be the one to change.
At the club, Daniel is hitting on a model. Brad tells him she's 12. Daniel verbally pats himself on the back for his success with the magazine, but Brad takes him down a peg or two. Wil comes up and starts talking about Daniel's dead brother Alex, making Daniel feel insecure.
Betty wakes up in a bad mood and doesn't let her dad drink coffee. She chides him for not taking his heart pills (he's trying to make them last). They talk about their problems with the HMO.
At the office, Brad asks Wil why she didn't stay long at the party. She says she had too much work to do. She talks about all the things she's doing to cover for Daniel.
Amanda asks Betty why she wasn't at the party. She pretends to be sympathetic, but her tone is so sarcastic it's hard to tell whether she expects Betty to believe her or not.
Daniel worries to Betty that he's not doing a good enough job to impress his father. Then he suddenly gets an idea to do the next issue completely on his own, with a new format and everything. He asks her to set up a staff meeting.
They begin strategizing as to what they can do. Betty has an idea to get Vincent Bianchi, a really great photographer they might use, but Daniel is not so sure - he and Alex didn't get along, and it was so bad that the photographer swore he'd never work for any Meade Publications magazine ever again.
Wil is preparing for some breast cancer event. Indicating her purple ribbon, Fido asks why she's not wearing a pink one. She says the Alzheimer's ribbon goes better with her outfit (which is white). She asks him to zip her up, which is confusing because she's wearing a jacket that buttons in front.
Then they watch Betty and Daniel from a discreet distance and speculate as to how bad the next issue is going to be. She's thrilled that she won't even have to interfere with this one. She'll just let Daniel hang himself.
Hours later, Daniel is still whining about how his father always preferred Alex. He mopes about how his dad always took Alex to some Harvard football game every year, and even after Alex died, he never offered to take Daniel instead. Betty says her father doesn't have a favorite, but Daniel is skeptical. He says every parent has a favorite.
Next day, Betty tells Hilda she thinks Hilda is their dad's favorite. Hilda disagrees. Dad shows up and complains that Betty's been working too hard - she should get a raise. He notices her photographers' portfolios and singles out Vincent's. He is impressed that this kid he used to know made something of himself - he always figured Vincent would end up in jail.
Vincent answers his own phone. It's Betty. He tells her to go through his agent, but they start talking about the neighborhood. It all seems to be going so well until she mentions Mode and Daniel Meade. Suddenly, there's a click and a dial tone - Betty is miffed.
Wil is giving Fido a million instructions for some upcoming meetings. When she turns her back, he rolls his eyes at her!
Walking home that night, Betty passes a place that Vincent had cited as one of his favorites. On a hunch, she goes inside.
Next morning, Daniel is having a meeting about the cover. Betty tries to give an opinion, but it's dorky, so Daniel asks her to go get some cream cheese for his bagel. The phone rings while she's on her way down the hallway, so Daniel answers it. He is stunned - Vincent Bianchi is calling. For Betty!
Indeed, he is thanking her for bringing him a sausage-and-pepper hero (or as we call them in these parts, "grinders") from Sal's. He asks her to call him Vincent (rather than Mr. Bianchi) and wants to know if that was Daniel who picked up the phone. Betty puts him on. Daniel is sooooo grateful. They're going to meet with him for lunch on Monday at some swanky restaurant - Vincent specifically asked that Betty be there. Daniel semi-tactfully suggests that Betty wear something nice.
Betty goes to Christina, hoping she'll be able to lend her a suitable outfit from Wardrobe. Christina is skeptical that wearing stupid clothes will impress Vincent, but Betty is just trying to take her loser sister's misguided advice.
At home that night, Betty is trying on new "looks" in the mirror. Her dad sees this and is upset to see her so down on herself. He tries to cheer her up by saying she has a "good heart," but that doesn't make her feel any better. Hilda overhears him telling Betty that she's his special girl. Betty reminds him to take his pill and asks Hilda to help her with a makeover.
Hilda takes Betty to the neighborhood salon and introduces her favorite stylist who, from the look of her, might not be the best person to shape Betty into the Mode mold. Betty shows the stylist a picture of a model she'd like to look like. The stylist discreetly asks a coworker to get the "big tweezers."
Simultaneously, Wil also has an appointment. She wants a new look to celebrate her impending promotion. Apparently, she's not aware of the perils of counting one's chickens prematurely. While betty experiences a painful eyebrow-waxing, Wil gets champagne and a chair massage. While Betty is getting fumigated with hairspray, Wil's elegant new look is revealed (and it looks a lot like the picture Betty showed to Hilda's stylist).
Betty is thrilled with her own New Look, which matches what she has seen around her neighborhood: pointy red nails, a ton of slightly shiny makeup with heavy dark lipliner, and big ratty hair. (In fact, the hair is a lot like the stylist's.) With Hilda's help (I assume), she also obtains an outfit that looks like something a hooker might wear on a really cold day. (There are a lot of large sequins.) All the neighborhood guys, including Walter, love her New Look. They think she's HOT!!
She takes on a swaggering gait, although she hasn't quite mastered the shoes yet so she stumbles a little. People in the office are staring at her. Fido immediately terminates a cell phone call to chase her down and get a picture. She forwards Daniel a call from a woman who won't introduce herself. (It's Fey.) She tells him to ask his father what he's been doing at the salvage yard, then hangs up. Daniel comes out of his office to ask Betty something, but stops short when he sees her New Look. She explains that she "dressed up" for their big lunch. He semi-tactfully suggests that she call the restaurant and ask for a table in the back, so they'll have more "privacy" with Vincent.
Wil shows up and tells Fido that Betty's New Look is "as if Queens threw up." (I'm disappointed. I was hoping for something a little wittier.)
Daniel unveils his new ideas for Mode, including a totally new format. He also mentions Vincent. Brad is skeptical, and Wil is condescending. Taking over the meeting as usual, she uses Betty as an example of why change can sometimes "make a bad situation even worse." Daniel glares at Wil but doesn't say anything in Betty's defense.
Betty goes to the ladies' room to take off some of the makeup. Daniel goes in to check on her. She makes a lot of self-disparaging remarks. He tries to cheer her up, reminding her about going to lunch, but she doesn't even want to go. She's afraid of what Vincent will think. (Don't you think Vincent would be happier to see a Queensish-looking face?) Daniel really doesn't want to go without her, but she insists and suggests that Amanda should go instead. Daniel reluctantly leaves.
He waits in the car for Amanda. Finally the door opens, but it's not Amanda - it's Brad. Daniel is annoyed that his father has so little faith in him. Then Amanda arrives and they leave. At the restaurant, Vincent declines to shake Brad's hand. Amanda is introduced as Betty Suarez and says "Ho-la," pronouncing the H.
Betty mopes in the hallway, listening to all her coworkers laughing at her. Then she spies some important papers on her desk that Daniel needs for his meeting. She shoves them into her gold-sequined bag and takes off in a panic. She asks someone to cover the phones for her, but Fido overhears and grabs the papers out of her hand, saying he'll take them instead. She grabs them back, saying maybe she can't hit Wil, but she can damn well hit him and since she's from Queens they know she'll do it!
At the restaurant, Vincent tries to make friends with Amanda/Betty, and she is not very convincing. She refuses some rolls, saying "carbs," and when he raises his eyebrows at her, she says "...but who cares about carbs if you're from Queens, right?" She holds a roll as if it were a wiggly worm. Daniel tells the waiter he's going to need a very large glass of wine.
Vincent starts asking Amanda/Betty questions about the neighborhood. Like, what about this teacher at the high school? Amanda snidely says "she died." When he asks what her father does for a living, she thoughtlessly says he was an investment banker, and Daniel reminds her that she's Betty. Amanda backpedals, saying that's what her father wanted to do... if he ever made it out of the "barrio."
Daniel decides to call off the charade. He explains that Amanda isn't Betty. Vincent is not exactly surprised. Daniel explains that she was too nervous about her appearance to go to the restaurant, because everyone is so hung up on image.
There's a commotion behind them. Betty is arguing with the maitre d to let her in. Daniel brings her over and introduces her to Vincent. Daniel apologizes for all the craziness and tells him that even if Vincent doesn't trust the Meades, he can certainly trust Betty.
Vincent tells Daniel he's nothing like his brother. "No, I'm not," Daniel agrees ruefully, not realizing that Vincent meant it as a compliment. He leaves.
Betty follows, requesting a matchbook for Justin first. Back at the office, Daniel apologizes to Betty for not sticking up for her, and she apologizes to him for not sticking with him. Brad shows up and tells Daniel that Vincent agreed to do the job, on the condition that he only ever has to answer to Daniel and not any "blowhards." Apparently, Brad's ego is more important to him than the success of Daniel or the magazine, because he doesn't seem happy about it.
Daniel mentions the strange phone call from the woman who asked about the junkyard. Brad pleads
ignorance and says it was probably a crank.
Betty gets home looking defeated. Hilda is worried because the makeup and the fake nails are gone, but Betty reports that she got Vincent to work for them, and it's a big deal. Dad hugs her, and Hilda shrugs resignedly. Betty credits Hilda's makeover for making it all possible, and Dad hugs Hilda too. They all dance in front of the video game.
Wil waits impatiently for her "date," a senator, to show up. He's late, and she seems sad about it. Eventually he gets there, though, and it turns out he's just like Brad, except not white. Oh I forgot to mention - he's her dad. Sorry. He gives Wil a hard time for being such a failure. After he leaves, she broods. Then she checks her email and discovers that Vincent Bianchi has agreed to do their December issue. She throws a tantrum and proceeds to destroy every breakable bauble in her office.
Next time: A super-hot guy from another mag buys Betty a drink, and next thing they know, someone has stolen Daniel's ideas for the next issue.
Chuck finally tracks it down, but there's a problem: Fey's "death car" isn't where he can get to it easily. It's up for sale on an eBay-like site.
Fey and Wil drink a toast to Brad and Daniel's downfall. Wil's strategy is to feed the tension between father and son. Fey wants to help too: she wants Daniel to know what his father is capable of.
Betty can't get into the club where Daniel is celebrating the success of his first issue of Mode. She asks Amanda to vouch for her, but Amanda walks by with her nose in the air. Inside, Wil and Fido bad-mouth Daniel to one another.
Betty comes home to find Justin and Walter playing Dance Dance Revolution in her living room. Walter asks Betty why she was out so late at the party (it's now 9:45, he notes disapprovingly). She tells him it's none of his business since he dumped her. He tells her he brought the game as a gift and he had to pay full price for it. She's not impressed. She holds the door open for him to leave.
Justin asks about the club and wants a matchbook. He also critiques the recent Mode issue. Hilda sends him out of the room and guesses that Betty wasn't allowed in. She says such places aren't for "people like us." (Why can't she just say "latinos" or whatever?) She says it's all about hair, face, clothes - "look it to be it." Betty rejects this, but Hilda tells her that those people won't change. Betty will have to be the one to change.
At the club, Daniel is hitting on a model. Brad tells him she's 12. Daniel verbally pats himself on the back for his success with the magazine, but Brad takes him down a peg or two. Wil comes up and starts talking about Daniel's dead brother Alex, making Daniel feel insecure.
Betty wakes up in a bad mood and doesn't let her dad drink coffee. She chides him for not taking his heart pills (he's trying to make them last). They talk about their problems with the HMO.
At the office, Brad asks Wil why she didn't stay long at the party. She says she had too much work to do. She talks about all the things she's doing to cover for Daniel.
Amanda asks Betty why she wasn't at the party. She pretends to be sympathetic, but her tone is so sarcastic it's hard to tell whether she expects Betty to believe her or not.
Daniel worries to Betty that he's not doing a good enough job to impress his father. Then he suddenly gets an idea to do the next issue completely on his own, with a new format and everything. He asks her to set up a staff meeting.
They begin strategizing as to what they can do. Betty has an idea to get Vincent Bianchi, a really great photographer they might use, but Daniel is not so sure - he and Alex didn't get along, and it was so bad that the photographer swore he'd never work for any Meade Publications magazine ever again.
Wil is preparing for some breast cancer event. Indicating her purple ribbon, Fido asks why she's not wearing a pink one. She says the Alzheimer's ribbon goes better with her outfit (which is white). She asks him to zip her up, which is confusing because she's wearing a jacket that buttons in front.
Then they watch Betty and Daniel from a discreet distance and speculate as to how bad the next issue is going to be. She's thrilled that she won't even have to interfere with this one. She'll just let Daniel hang himself.
Hours later, Daniel is still whining about how his father always preferred Alex. He mopes about how his dad always took Alex to some Harvard football game every year, and even after Alex died, he never offered to take Daniel instead. Betty says her father doesn't have a favorite, but Daniel is skeptical. He says every parent has a favorite.
Next day, Betty tells Hilda she thinks Hilda is their dad's favorite. Hilda disagrees. Dad shows up and complains that Betty's been working too hard - she should get a raise. He notices her photographers' portfolios and singles out Vincent's. He is impressed that this kid he used to know made something of himself - he always figured Vincent would end up in jail.
Vincent answers his own phone. It's Betty. He tells her to go through his agent, but they start talking about the neighborhood. It all seems to be going so well until she mentions Mode and Daniel Meade. Suddenly, there's a click and a dial tone - Betty is miffed.
Wil is giving Fido a million instructions for some upcoming meetings. When she turns her back, he rolls his eyes at her!
Walking home that night, Betty passes a place that Vincent had cited as one of his favorites. On a hunch, she goes inside.
Next morning, Daniel is having a meeting about the cover. Betty tries to give an opinion, but it's dorky, so Daniel asks her to go get some cream cheese for his bagel. The phone rings while she's on her way down the hallway, so Daniel answers it. He is stunned - Vincent Bianchi is calling. For Betty!
Indeed, he is thanking her for bringing him a sausage-and-pepper hero (or as we call them in these parts, "grinders") from Sal's. He asks her to call him Vincent (rather than Mr. Bianchi) and wants to know if that was Daniel who picked up the phone. Betty puts him on. Daniel is sooooo grateful. They're going to meet with him for lunch on Monday at some swanky restaurant - Vincent specifically asked that Betty be there. Daniel semi-tactfully suggests that Betty wear something nice.
Betty goes to Christina, hoping she'll be able to lend her a suitable outfit from Wardrobe. Christina is skeptical that wearing stupid clothes will impress Vincent, but Betty is just trying to take her loser sister's misguided advice.
At home that night, Betty is trying on new "looks" in the mirror. Her dad sees this and is upset to see her so down on herself. He tries to cheer her up by saying she has a "good heart," but that doesn't make her feel any better. Hilda overhears him telling Betty that she's his special girl. Betty reminds him to take his pill and asks Hilda to help her with a makeover.
Hilda takes Betty to the neighborhood salon and introduces her favorite stylist who, from the look of her, might not be the best person to shape Betty into the Mode mold. Betty shows the stylist a picture of a model she'd like to look like. The stylist discreetly asks a coworker to get the "big tweezers."
Simultaneously, Wil also has an appointment. She wants a new look to celebrate her impending promotion. Apparently, she's not aware of the perils of counting one's chickens prematurely. While betty experiences a painful eyebrow-waxing, Wil gets champagne and a chair massage. While Betty is getting fumigated with hairspray, Wil's elegant new look is revealed (and it looks a lot like the picture Betty showed to Hilda's stylist).
Betty is thrilled with her own New Look, which matches what she has seen around her neighborhood: pointy red nails, a ton of slightly shiny makeup with heavy dark lipliner, and big ratty hair. (In fact, the hair is a lot like the stylist's.) With Hilda's help (I assume), she also obtains an outfit that looks like something a hooker might wear on a really cold day. (There are a lot of large sequins.) All the neighborhood guys, including Walter, love her New Look. They think she's HOT!!
She takes on a swaggering gait, although she hasn't quite mastered the shoes yet so she stumbles a little. People in the office are staring at her. Fido immediately terminates a cell phone call to chase her down and get a picture. She forwards Daniel a call from a woman who won't introduce herself. (It's Fey.) She tells him to ask his father what he's been doing at the salvage yard, then hangs up. Daniel comes out of his office to ask Betty something, but stops short when he sees her New Look. She explains that she "dressed up" for their big lunch. He semi-tactfully suggests that she call the restaurant and ask for a table in the back, so they'll have more "privacy" with Vincent.
Wil shows up and tells Fido that Betty's New Look is "as if Queens threw up." (I'm disappointed. I was hoping for something a little wittier.)
Daniel unveils his new ideas for Mode, including a totally new format. He also mentions Vincent. Brad is skeptical, and Wil is condescending. Taking over the meeting as usual, she uses Betty as an example of why change can sometimes "make a bad situation even worse." Daniel glares at Wil but doesn't say anything in Betty's defense.
Betty goes to the ladies' room to take off some of the makeup. Daniel goes in to check on her. She makes a lot of self-disparaging remarks. He tries to cheer her up, reminding her about going to lunch, but she doesn't even want to go. She's afraid of what Vincent will think. (Don't you think Vincent would be happier to see a Queensish-looking face?) Daniel really doesn't want to go without her, but she insists and suggests that Amanda should go instead. Daniel reluctantly leaves.
He waits in the car for Amanda. Finally the door opens, but it's not Amanda - it's Brad. Daniel is annoyed that his father has so little faith in him. Then Amanda arrives and they leave. At the restaurant, Vincent declines to shake Brad's hand. Amanda is introduced as Betty Suarez and says "Ho-la," pronouncing the H.
Betty mopes in the hallway, listening to all her coworkers laughing at her. Then she spies some important papers on her desk that Daniel needs for his meeting. She shoves them into her gold-sequined bag and takes off in a panic. She asks someone to cover the phones for her, but Fido overhears and grabs the papers out of her hand, saying he'll take them instead. She grabs them back, saying maybe she can't hit Wil, but she can damn well hit him and since she's from Queens they know she'll do it!
At the restaurant, Vincent tries to make friends with Amanda/Betty, and she is not very convincing. She refuses some rolls, saying "carbs," and when he raises his eyebrows at her, she says "...but who cares about carbs if you're from Queens, right?" She holds a roll as if it were a wiggly worm. Daniel tells the waiter he's going to need a very large glass of wine.
Vincent starts asking Amanda/Betty questions about the neighborhood. Like, what about this teacher at the high school? Amanda snidely says "she died." When he asks what her father does for a living, she thoughtlessly says he was an investment banker, and Daniel reminds her that she's Betty. Amanda backpedals, saying that's what her father wanted to do... if he ever made it out of the "barrio."
Daniel decides to call off the charade. He explains that Amanda isn't Betty. Vincent is not exactly surprised. Daniel explains that she was too nervous about her appearance to go to the restaurant, because everyone is so hung up on image.
There's a commotion behind them. Betty is arguing with the maitre d to let her in. Daniel brings her over and introduces her to Vincent. Daniel apologizes for all the craziness and tells him that even if Vincent doesn't trust the Meades, he can certainly trust Betty.
Vincent tells Daniel he's nothing like his brother. "No, I'm not," Daniel agrees ruefully, not realizing that Vincent meant it as a compliment. He leaves.
Betty follows, requesting a matchbook for Justin first. Back at the office, Daniel apologizes to Betty for not sticking up for her, and she apologizes to him for not sticking with him. Brad shows up and tells Daniel that Vincent agreed to do the job, on the condition that he only ever has to answer to Daniel and not any "blowhards." Apparently, Brad's ego is more important to him than the success of Daniel or the magazine, because he doesn't seem happy about it.
Daniel mentions the strange phone call from the woman who asked about the junkyard. Brad pleads
ignorance and says it was probably a crank.
Betty gets home looking defeated. Hilda is worried because the makeup and the fake nails are gone, but Betty reports that she got Vincent to work for them, and it's a big deal. Dad hugs her, and Hilda shrugs resignedly. Betty credits Hilda's makeover for making it all possible, and Dad hugs Hilda too. They all dance in front of the video game.
Wil waits impatiently for her "date," a senator, to show up. He's late, and she seems sad about it. Eventually he gets there, though, and it turns out he's just like Brad, except not white. Oh I forgot to mention - he's her dad. Sorry. He gives Wil a hard time for being such a failure. After he leaves, she broods. Then she checks her email and discovers that Vincent Bianchi has agreed to do their December issue. She throws a tantrum and proceeds to destroy every breakable bauble in her office.
Next time: A super-hot guy from another mag buys Betty a drink, and next thing they know, someone has stolen Daniel's ideas for the next issue.
2006-10-12
Ugly Bettys of the World
Check out this great feature in Entertainment Weekly for a pictoral review of the many faces of Betty!
2006-10-06
Formula One Writing
Two weeks in a row: Willie uses a petty trick to mess Daniel up, and it doesn't work. Christina sneakily does something to make Betty's stint at Mode a little more bearable.
I love House. I watch it every week. That's because, as formulaic as it is, it's fun and satisfying. I wouldn't recap it in a million years, though. That's because I hate telling the same whole story week after week. So if Ugly Betty doesn't take a turn of some kind in the next week or two, I'm going to stop recapping. That's not a threat or an ultimatum or anything like that; I'm just saying that if this turns out not to be fun, I don't see the point.
That doesn't mean I won't still watch and enjoy the show. Like I said, I still watch House.
I don't know if there's even a need for these recaps or not. I suspect not. I started this blog because of fond memories reading recaps of other shows I used to like: there was a great Melrose Place recap site, and someone else did some hilarious recaps of Babylon 5 which I can no longer find. Well, it's 10 years later now; if your VCR or DVR or didn't grab the show you like, you can probably download it from someplace. And if you start watching a show after a couple of seasons have already aired, you can rent the DVDs and catch up over a weekend.
Or maybe what I'll do is just skip the "A" plot each week and just cover the story arc. That might be more helpful to people who are just trying to catch up.
I'm just thinking out loud, here. We'll see what happens over the next few weeks as the show begins to hit its stride.
I love House. I watch it every week. That's because, as formulaic as it is, it's fun and satisfying. I wouldn't recap it in a million years, though. That's because I hate telling the same whole story week after week. So if Ugly Betty doesn't take a turn of some kind in the next week or two, I'm going to stop recapping. That's not a threat or an ultimatum or anything like that; I'm just saying that if this turns out not to be fun, I don't see the point.
That doesn't mean I won't still watch and enjoy the show. Like I said, I still watch House.
I don't know if there's even a need for these recaps or not. I suspect not. I started this blog because of fond memories reading recaps of other shows I used to like: there was a great Melrose Place recap site, and someone else did some hilarious recaps of Babylon 5 which I can no longer find. Well, it's 10 years later now; if your VCR or DVR or didn't grab the show you like, you can probably download it from someplace. And if you start watching a show after a couple of seasons have already aired, you can rent the DVDs and catch up over a weekend.
Or maybe what I'll do is just skip the "A" plot each week and just cover the story arc. That might be more helpful to people who are just trying to catch up.
I'm just thinking out loud, here. We'll see what happens over the next few weeks as the show begins to hit its stride.
10/5/06: "The Book" full recap
I don't know what the "official" titles of these episodes are, so I'm just making up descriptive names which may or may not coincidentally match the actual titles.
Betty brings a box of "personal effects" to her desk. It's full of photos, stuffed animals, etc. While passing Betty's desk, Fido takes a particular interest in a pink graduation bunny with buck teeth and a green tummy. He says "it's so different, so you." She says it was a gift from her sister when she graduated from Queens College. "One of American's 'best value' colleges," he snootily observes.
Betty visits Daniel in his office. He is telling someone on the phone that he had a great night with her and will call soon. He hangs up and confesses to Betty that he isn't sure who that was. He gently chastises her for telling a columnist what brand of shoe he prefers - they're comfortable, but not politically correct (made by slave children in Cambodia). He tells her that in their business, sometimes you need to get a jump on those who might twist the facts about you, and twist them yourself first.
He tells Betty that he has a meeting with famous actress Natalie Whitman, who has played a character named Jenna Fletcher in a series of popular movies. In a clunky exposition scene, Daniel and Betty talk about her catch phrase "you do the math!" and how she has to gain 30 pounds each time she does one of those movies. Betty is a big fan, and Dan agrees to let her sit in on the meeting.
Daniel's father, Bradford Meade, asks Daniel if he's seen The Book. (He hasn't.) The Book is a running mockup - a live rough draft - of the magazine. Daniel should review it every day to keep on top of what's going on. "Whoever controls The Book controls the magazine," he tells Daniel. Since they're going to press tomorrow, Daniel should look at it tonight.
In the Famous Actress meeting, Willie and the others are retouching Natalie's photo. Nat has not yet shed the 30 pounds she gained for her recent movie. Natalie is not happy that they are slimming her down so much for the cover, but she is told that it would be awful for anyone to see her unretouched photos. "We are not about 'normal,'" Willie tells her. "We are about 'aspirational.'" Nat asks Betty what she thinks, and Betty says she looks great the way she is. Daniel spins this to say they just want to make her look even better.
Daniel tells Willie that he wants to see The Book. Tonight, and every night from now on. She sweetly tells him he should delegate such tasks, but he insists. After the meeting disperses, he sends Betty back to the meeting room for his PDA. She notices that her graduation bunny has disappeared. In the boardroom, she sees Natalie glumly playing with the laptop computer, making her photo skinnier and skinnier until it disappears.
Fido rubs Willie's feet while she stews about getting bossed around by her boss. She decides she will use The Book to trick Daniel into signing off on unretouched ("fat") photos of Nat. If such photos were to be published, no one would ever want to appear in, or do business with, Mode again. She could save the day at the last minute, becoming a hero and making Daniel look stupid (same basic plan as last week).
At lunch, some of Betty's coworkers give her dirty looks when she carries a full plate of steaming hot food past them. She sits with Christina, Zelda, Nancy, and I think someone else. They talk about the traumatic photo-editing and how fake everyone is in the world of fashion.
Amanda (snooty receptionist) complains about the smell of Betty's lunch. Nat approaches Betty's table to investigate the smell too - because she loves it. (That's right, a famous actress is visiting their office but has to fend for herself in the lunchroom because no one has offered to take her out or bring her something to eat.) She complains that all the available food is low-cal and tasteless, but Betty's empenadas smell yummy. Nat engages in friendly chat with Betty and her friends while Amanda glares enviously.
Willie meets with the Mummy in her room (looks like a private hospital room). Mummy is indeed Fey Sommers, the previous editor of Mode. She suspects Brad of arranging the crash that allegedly killed her. She wants to get proof and put him in jail. Willie says she wants to get rid of Daniel too. Fey suggests to Willie that they use Daniel to get to Brad.
Brad meets with that guy again in the park. To avoid annoying pronoun confusion, I'll call him Chuck. Chuck says Fey's things are about to be auctioned off. Chuck offers to break in and remove any incriminating evidence. Brad says he'll do it, because he has a key, and besides, Chuck wouldn't know what's incriminating. Chuck looks surprised that Brad has a key.
After lunch, Betty receives an emailed photo of her graduation bunny with X-eyes and a noose around its neck.
Late that day, Fido brings The Book to Daniel. He tells Daniel to pay special attention to the fanny pack article (nice misdirection attempt, kiddo). He's about to start reviewing it when Amanda comes in - Willie has given her tickets to the opera, and she wants to molest Daniel in their secluded box seat. He jumps at this offer, leaving the book on his desk. On her way out, Amanda makes fun of Betty's braces. If Betty works enough overtime, maybe she can afford (brand name of braces that aren't as obtrusive).
Betty sees The Book in Daniel's office. She leaves a message on his phone that she's taking it home, where it will be safe.
Bwahahahaha.
Dad is watching the telenovela. A pregnant woman is kissing a really hot priest. Betty tells Dad that Famous Actress Natalie Whitman liked his empenadas. She shows The Book to them - Justin can't wait to look at all the proofs. They notice her name is spelled wrong in the masthead.
Hilda comes home. She found a gift from Walter on the doorstep - a flower and a pack of 9-volt batteries. Betty is exasperated. Hilda thinks Betty should be more receptive to Walter's overtures.
Looking through The Boo, Dad says the magazine needs more Latinas. Justin notices the fat-photos of Natalie, and Betty worries. Then boyfriend-stealing neighbor Gina shows up, wanting $4000 for the plasma (not LCD like I said last week, sorry) TV that broke when Betty slammed Gina's front door last week. Hilda brandishes The Book threateningly at Gina. When Betty warns Hilda to be careful, Gina is intrigued by the book's apparent value to Betty. She also warns them that she did a year in juvie.
That night, Gina breaks into their house and steals The Book. Meanwhile, Brad breaks into Fey's house (remember, Fey is allegedly dead, she doesn't live there anymore) and steals a music box and a photo of him with Fey.
The next morning, Betty realizes The Book is gone. She, Justin, and Hilda search for it, while Dad copes with his worry by cooking breakfast. They find a ransom note from Gina.
Amanda is at Daniel's place. She says she would like to marry his showerhead. Daniel finally gets around to listening to his messages. He calls Betty and asks about The Book. Betty takes Hilda's advice to not tell Daniel that it's missing, but she does mention the unretouched fat photos of Natalie. Since they're going to press tonight, he's sending a car to her house right now so that he can see The Book asap. Amanda tells Daniel he should fire Betty and that there will be "chimichurro sauce" all over The Book.
Dad wants to call Gina's parents. Hilda wants to beat her up. Betty gets dressed and goes to Gina's house to confront her. Betty goes to the front door, and Gina taunts her by tearing one of the pages. Hilda sneaks in through the back door, which was unlocked. Hilda and Gina have a chickenfight while Betty searches frantically.
A car horn honks outside. Betty decides to give up and just tell Daniel the truth. Hilda pulls a big chunk of "hair" out of Gina's head. (Based on Gina's shocked but fairly painless reaction, it's a weave.)
At the office, despite Daniel's best efforts to close the elevator doors quickly, Willie manages to slip through the paper-thin opening and smugly asks about The Book. He casually mentions the fat photos. She's speechless. He generously offers that it was probably an honest mistake on her part - her eyes are probably just getting old.
In the limo, Betty finds another photo of her mutilated graduation bunny. She calls Christina and tells her everything - including Gina's first and last name and that Gina wants $4000 or a new TV. (Shut up, Betty!) The driver discreetly texts all this info to Willie.
Betty gets to the office and tells Daniel what's been happening. He scolds her for lying - they should always be completely honest with one another. (Hey, maybe you should check your messages more than once every 12 hours.) It would be terrible for Natalie's fat pictures to get out into the wild. He agrees to pay the ransom, but first he needs to go to a meeting and tell the staff that he'd like to look at The Book again. He postpones the meeting for three hours. He looks like an idiot, Willie looks professional, la la la.
At her desk, Betty finds a photo of her bunny dunked in a toilet. She asks her coworkers if they think it's funny. The answer is yes. She says she won't be broken so easily.
She and Dan speed out to Queens, but when they get there, Gina already has a bigger and better new TV, and no Book! Oh, and guess who's installing the TV? While Gina flirts with Daniel, Walter assures Betty that it's a strictly professional visit, but Betty doesn't care. She didn't like the batteries. Walter says the batteries were meant as a reminder of their first kiss, at his store.
Gina turns on the TV, and the Fashion TV reporter (Lucy Davis, from the British version of The Office) announces that there are rumors that Mode has lost some fat pictures of Natalie Whitman. She (Lucy) grins with disgusted delight.
Of course, this "rumor" is Willie's doing - she's calling all over town about it, saying she doesn't know how it happened, since Daniel had The Book! Fido shows up (in a clever disguise - an orange velour running suit) with The Book. He is excited that "we" will get credit for saving the day. He sees Willie's disapproving face and corrects himself - she will get credit. Just her. (Hmm, does Fido have aspirations?)
As they head back towards the office, Daniel starts preparing an alibi, and contemplates going to Rio and partying instead of sticking with this job and trying to be something he's not. Betty suggests telling the truth - blame her. Just please give her a good recommendation after she's fired.
When they get there, Betty listens from another room as Daniel tells the rest of the staff and Natalie that it's all his fault - he left the book in his office. Natalie doesn't completely agree that the fat pictures are the end of the world, but she is told that it's "Mel Gibson bad" if people find out she's still fat. Betty sadly, chubbily walks away to Amanda's desk. Amanda hands Betty a box of her personal effects and tells her she should quit before she's fired, like the old samurai used to commit seppuku (of course Amanda doesn't know this word, Betty has to tell her). The graduation bunny is in the box. He's all torn with stuffing coming out. Betty tells Amanda, "I hope you get what you deserve." Amanda doesn't get the sarcasm.
Betty runs into Nat on the elevator and says she's quitting (to prevent being fired). She apologizes for the fat photos. Anyway, for whatever her opinion is worth, she thinks the unretouched photos were better. She says she'd kill to look like Nat.
Daniel apologizes to his father about the problem with The Book and doesn't mention Betty. Brad says he's happy that Dan is telling the truth for once. Then Nat bursts in and says they mustn't fire Betty - she gave her an idea to solve the problem.
Willie calls Brad and claims that "her people" have found The Book. He tells her to turn on her TV - where the Fashion TV reporter is saying that Natalie is asking Mode to publish her unretouched photos because she doesn't like the phony way women are portrayed in fashion magazines. (The reporter sneers.) Willie slumps with defeat. Later, she tells Daniel that The Book was dropped off anonymously at the front desk. (She'd better hope Daniel doesn't compare notes with Brad, since "my people found it" is a lot different than "it was dropped off anonymously.")
Christina brings back the graduation bunny, repaired. It's not perfect but it's better than before. And Daniel found and fixed Betty's name in the masthead. Betty gives Daniel a comfy pair of US-made shoes that weren't made by Cambodian slave children. And on her way out the door, she tells Amanda she's staying.
That night, while looking through The Book (the Natalie announcement bought him an extra day), Daniel gets a call from a woman whose voice he doesn't recognize. She warns him about his father.
Meanwhile, Brad burns the evidence from Fey's house.
Betty brings a box of "personal effects" to her desk. It's full of photos, stuffed animals, etc. While passing Betty's desk, Fido takes a particular interest in a pink graduation bunny with buck teeth and a green tummy. He says "it's so different, so you." She says it was a gift from her sister when she graduated from Queens College. "One of American's 'best value' colleges," he snootily observes.
Betty visits Daniel in his office. He is telling someone on the phone that he had a great night with her and will call soon. He hangs up and confesses to Betty that he isn't sure who that was. He gently chastises her for telling a columnist what brand of shoe he prefers - they're comfortable, but not politically correct (made by slave children in Cambodia). He tells her that in their business, sometimes you need to get a jump on those who might twist the facts about you, and twist them yourself first.
He tells Betty that he has a meeting with famous actress Natalie Whitman, who has played a character named Jenna Fletcher in a series of popular movies. In a clunky exposition scene, Daniel and Betty talk about her catch phrase "you do the math!" and how she has to gain 30 pounds each time she does one of those movies. Betty is a big fan, and Dan agrees to let her sit in on the meeting.
Daniel's father, Bradford Meade, asks Daniel if he's seen The Book. (He hasn't.) The Book is a running mockup - a live rough draft - of the magazine. Daniel should review it every day to keep on top of what's going on. "Whoever controls The Book controls the magazine," he tells Daniel. Since they're going to press tomorrow, Daniel should look at it tonight.
In the Famous Actress meeting, Willie and the others are retouching Natalie's photo. Nat has not yet shed the 30 pounds she gained for her recent movie. Natalie is not happy that they are slimming her down so much for the cover, but she is told that it would be awful for anyone to see her unretouched photos. "We are not about 'normal,'" Willie tells her. "We are about 'aspirational.'" Nat asks Betty what she thinks, and Betty says she looks great the way she is. Daniel spins this to say they just want to make her look even better.
Daniel tells Willie that he wants to see The Book. Tonight, and every night from now on. She sweetly tells him he should delegate such tasks, but he insists. After the meeting disperses, he sends Betty back to the meeting room for his PDA. She notices that her graduation bunny has disappeared. In the boardroom, she sees Natalie glumly playing with the laptop computer, making her photo skinnier and skinnier until it disappears.
Fido rubs Willie's feet while she stews about getting bossed around by her boss. She decides she will use The Book to trick Daniel into signing off on unretouched ("fat") photos of Nat. If such photos were to be published, no one would ever want to appear in, or do business with, Mode again. She could save the day at the last minute, becoming a hero and making Daniel look stupid (same basic plan as last week).
At lunch, some of Betty's coworkers give her dirty looks when she carries a full plate of steaming hot food past them. She sits with Christina, Zelda, Nancy, and I think someone else. They talk about the traumatic photo-editing and how fake everyone is in the world of fashion.
Amanda (snooty receptionist) complains about the smell of Betty's lunch. Nat approaches Betty's table to investigate the smell too - because she loves it. (That's right, a famous actress is visiting their office but has to fend for herself in the lunchroom because no one has offered to take her out or bring her something to eat.) She complains that all the available food is low-cal and tasteless, but Betty's empenadas smell yummy. Nat engages in friendly chat with Betty and her friends while Amanda glares enviously.
Willie meets with the Mummy in her room (looks like a private hospital room). Mummy is indeed Fey Sommers, the previous editor of Mode. She suspects Brad of arranging the crash that allegedly killed her. She wants to get proof and put him in jail. Willie says she wants to get rid of Daniel too. Fey suggests to Willie that they use Daniel to get to Brad.
Brad meets with that guy again in the park. To avoid annoying pronoun confusion, I'll call him Chuck. Chuck says Fey's things are about to be auctioned off. Chuck offers to break in and remove any incriminating evidence. Brad says he'll do it, because he has a key, and besides, Chuck wouldn't know what's incriminating. Chuck looks surprised that Brad has a key.
After lunch, Betty receives an emailed photo of her graduation bunny with X-eyes and a noose around its neck.
Late that day, Fido brings The Book to Daniel. He tells Daniel to pay special attention to the fanny pack article (nice misdirection attempt, kiddo). He's about to start reviewing it when Amanda comes in - Willie has given her tickets to the opera, and she wants to molest Daniel in their secluded box seat. He jumps at this offer, leaving the book on his desk. On her way out, Amanda makes fun of Betty's braces. If Betty works enough overtime, maybe she can afford (brand name of braces that aren't as obtrusive).
Betty sees The Book in Daniel's office. She leaves a message on his phone that she's taking it home, where it will be safe.
Bwahahahaha.
Dad is watching the telenovela. A pregnant woman is kissing a really hot priest. Betty tells Dad that Famous Actress Natalie Whitman liked his empenadas. She shows The Book to them - Justin can't wait to look at all the proofs. They notice her name is spelled wrong in the masthead.
Hilda comes home. She found a gift from Walter on the doorstep - a flower and a pack of 9-volt batteries. Betty is exasperated. Hilda thinks Betty should be more receptive to Walter's overtures.
Looking through The Boo, Dad says the magazine needs more Latinas. Justin notices the fat-photos of Natalie, and Betty worries. Then boyfriend-stealing neighbor Gina shows up, wanting $4000 for the plasma (not LCD like I said last week, sorry) TV that broke when Betty slammed Gina's front door last week. Hilda brandishes The Book threateningly at Gina. When Betty warns Hilda to be careful, Gina is intrigued by the book's apparent value to Betty. She also warns them that she did a year in juvie.
That night, Gina breaks into their house and steals The Book. Meanwhile, Brad breaks into Fey's house (remember, Fey is allegedly dead, she doesn't live there anymore) and steals a music box and a photo of him with Fey.
The next morning, Betty realizes The Book is gone. She, Justin, and Hilda search for it, while Dad copes with his worry by cooking breakfast. They find a ransom note from Gina.
Amanda is at Daniel's place. She says she would like to marry his showerhead. Daniel finally gets around to listening to his messages. He calls Betty and asks about The Book. Betty takes Hilda's advice to not tell Daniel that it's missing, but she does mention the unretouched fat photos of Natalie. Since they're going to press tonight, he's sending a car to her house right now so that he can see The Book asap. Amanda tells Daniel he should fire Betty and that there will be "chimichurro sauce" all over The Book.
Dad wants to call Gina's parents. Hilda wants to beat her up. Betty gets dressed and goes to Gina's house to confront her. Betty goes to the front door, and Gina taunts her by tearing one of the pages. Hilda sneaks in through the back door, which was unlocked. Hilda and Gina have a chickenfight while Betty searches frantically.
A car horn honks outside. Betty decides to give up and just tell Daniel the truth. Hilda pulls a big chunk of "hair" out of Gina's head. (Based on Gina's shocked but fairly painless reaction, it's a weave.)
At the office, despite Daniel's best efforts to close the elevator doors quickly, Willie manages to slip through the paper-thin opening and smugly asks about The Book. He casually mentions the fat photos. She's speechless. He generously offers that it was probably an honest mistake on her part - her eyes are probably just getting old.
In the limo, Betty finds another photo of her mutilated graduation bunny. She calls Christina and tells her everything - including Gina's first and last name and that Gina wants $4000 or a new TV. (Shut up, Betty!) The driver discreetly texts all this info to Willie.
Betty gets to the office and tells Daniel what's been happening. He scolds her for lying - they should always be completely honest with one another. (Hey, maybe you should check your messages more than once every 12 hours.) It would be terrible for Natalie's fat pictures to get out into the wild. He agrees to pay the ransom, but first he needs to go to a meeting and tell the staff that he'd like to look at The Book again. He postpones the meeting for three hours. He looks like an idiot, Willie looks professional, la la la.
At her desk, Betty finds a photo of her bunny dunked in a toilet. She asks her coworkers if they think it's funny. The answer is yes. She says she won't be broken so easily.
She and Dan speed out to Queens, but when they get there, Gina already has a bigger and better new TV, and no Book! Oh, and guess who's installing the TV? While Gina flirts with Daniel, Walter assures Betty that it's a strictly professional visit, but Betty doesn't care. She didn't like the batteries. Walter says the batteries were meant as a reminder of their first kiss, at his store.
Gina turns on the TV, and the Fashion TV reporter (Lucy Davis, from the British version of The Office) announces that there are rumors that Mode has lost some fat pictures of Natalie Whitman. She (Lucy) grins with disgusted delight.
Of course, this "rumor" is Willie's doing - she's calling all over town about it, saying she doesn't know how it happened, since Daniel had The Book! Fido shows up (in a clever disguise - an orange velour running suit) with The Book. He is excited that "we" will get credit for saving the day. He sees Willie's disapproving face and corrects himself - she will get credit. Just her. (Hmm, does Fido have aspirations?)
As they head back towards the office, Daniel starts preparing an alibi, and contemplates going to Rio and partying instead of sticking with this job and trying to be something he's not. Betty suggests telling the truth - blame her. Just please give her a good recommendation after she's fired.
When they get there, Betty listens from another room as Daniel tells the rest of the staff and Natalie that it's all his fault - he left the book in his office. Natalie doesn't completely agree that the fat pictures are the end of the world, but she is told that it's "Mel Gibson bad" if people find out she's still fat. Betty sadly, chubbily walks away to Amanda's desk. Amanda hands Betty a box of her personal effects and tells her she should quit before she's fired, like the old samurai used to commit seppuku (of course Amanda doesn't know this word, Betty has to tell her). The graduation bunny is in the box. He's all torn with stuffing coming out. Betty tells Amanda, "I hope you get what you deserve." Amanda doesn't get the sarcasm.
Betty runs into Nat on the elevator and says she's quitting (to prevent being fired). She apologizes for the fat photos. Anyway, for whatever her opinion is worth, she thinks the unretouched photos were better. She says she'd kill to look like Nat.
Daniel apologizes to his father about the problem with The Book and doesn't mention Betty. Brad says he's happy that Dan is telling the truth for once. Then Nat bursts in and says they mustn't fire Betty - she gave her an idea to solve the problem.
Willie calls Brad and claims that "her people" have found The Book. He tells her to turn on her TV - where the Fashion TV reporter is saying that Natalie is asking Mode to publish her unretouched photos because she doesn't like the phony way women are portrayed in fashion magazines. (The reporter sneers.) Willie slumps with defeat. Later, she tells Daniel that The Book was dropped off anonymously at the front desk. (She'd better hope Daniel doesn't compare notes with Brad, since "my people found it" is a lot different than "it was dropped off anonymously.")
Christina brings back the graduation bunny, repaired. It's not perfect but it's better than before. And Daniel found and fixed Betty's name in the masthead. Betty gives Daniel a comfy pair of US-made shoes that weren't made by Cambodian slave children. And on her way out the door, she tells Amanda she's staying.
That night, while looking through The Book (the Natalie announcement bought him an extra day), Daniel gets a call from a woman whose voice he doesn't recognize. She warns him about his father.
Meanwhile, Brad burns the evidence from Fey's house.
10/5: "The Book" mini-recap
I don't know what the "official" titles of these episodes are, so I'm just making up descriptive names which may or may not coincidentally match the actual titles.
Bradford Meade (Daniel's father) asks Daniel if he's seen The Book (he hasn't). The Book is a running mockup - a live rough draft - of the magazine. Daniel should review it every day to keep on top of what's going on. "Whoever controls the book controls the magazine," he tells Daniel. Since they're going to press tomorrow, Daniel should look at it tonight.
Betty sits in on a meeting with famous actress Natalie Whitman, who has not yet shed the 30 pounds she gained for her recent movie. Willie and the others are retouching her photo, which will be on the cover of the magazine. Natalie is not happy that they are slimming her down so much, but she is told that it would be awful for anyone to see her unretouched photos. Nat is unhappy about this, but reluctantly agrees.
Daniel tells Willie that he wants to see The Book. Tonight, and every night from now on. She sweetly tells him he should delegate such tasks, but he insists. Later, while Fido rubs her feet, she decides she will use The Book to trick him into signing off on unretouched ("fat") photos of Nat. If such photos were to be published, no one would ever want to appear in, or do business, with Mode again. She could save the day at the last minute, becoming a hero and making Daniel look stupid (same basic plan as last week).
At lunch, Nat approaches the table where Betty and the other normal-looking girls are eating. (That's right, a famous actress is visiting their office but has to fend for herself in the lunchroom because no one has offered to take her out or bring her something to eat.) She complains that all the available food is low-cal and tasteless, but Betty's empenadas smell yummy. Betty shares her lunch with Nat, who engages in friendly chat with the normal-looking girls.
Willie meets with the Mummy, who is indeed Fey Sommers, the previous editor of Mode. She suspects Brad of arranging the crash that allegedly killed her. She wants to get proof and put him in jail. She suggests to Willie that they use Daniel to get to Brad.
Brad meets with that guy again in the park. To avoid annoying pronoun confusion, I'll call him Chuck. Fey's things are about to be auctioned off. Chuck offers to break in and remove any incriminating evidence. Brad says he'll do it, because he has a key, and besides, Chuck wouldn't know what's incriminating. Chuck looks surprised that Brad has a key.
Late that day, Fido brings The Book to Daniel. He tells Daniel to pay special attention to the fanny pack article (nice misdirection attempt, kiddo). He's about to start reviewing it when Amanda comes in - Willie has given her tickets to the opera, and she wants to molest Daniel in their secluded box seat. He jumps at this offer, leaving the book on his desk. Betty sees it and takes it home, where it will be safe.
Bwahahahaha.
Justin can't wait to look at all the proofs. He quickly notices the fat-photos of Natalie and Betty worries. Then boyfriend-stealing neighbor Gina shows up, wanting $4000 for the plasma (not LCD, sorry) TV that broke when Betty slammed Gina's front door last week. Hilda (Betty's sister) brandishes The Book threateningly at Gina. When Betty warns Hilda to be careful, Gina is intrigued by the book's apparent value to Betty.
That night, Gina breaks into their house and steals The Book. Meanwhile, Brad breaks into Fey's house (remember, Fey is allegedly dead, she doesn't live there anymore) and steals a music box and a photo of him with Fey.
The next morning, Betty finds a ransom note from Gina. Then the phone rings - it's Daniel. He just got Betty's message (which she left last night) that she's taken The Book home. Since they're going to press tonight, he's sending a car to her house right now so that he can see The Book asap. Betty takes Hilda's advice to not tell Daniel that it's missing, but she does mention the unretouched fat photos of Natalie.
Betty gets dressed, and she and Hilda go to Gina's house to confront her. Betty goes to the front, and Hilda sneaks in through the back, which was unlocked. Hilda and Gina have a chickenfight while Betty searches frantically.
Despite Daniel's best efforts to close the elevator doors quickly, Willie manages to slip through the paper-thin opening and smugly asks about The Book. He casually mentions the fat photos. She's speechless.
Back at Gina's house, a car horn honks outside. Betty decides to give up and just tell Daniel the truth. In the car, she calls Christina and tells her everything - including Gina's first and last name and that Gina wants $4000 or a new TV. The driver discreetly texts all this info to Willie.
Betty gets to the office and tells Daniel what's been happening. He agrees to pay the ransom and they speed out to Queens, but when they get there, Gina already has a new TV, and no Book! She turns on the TV, and the Fashion TV reporter (Lucy Davis, from the British version of The Office) announces that there are rumors that Mode magazine has let Nat's fat pictures escape into the wild.
Of course, this "rumor" is Willie's doing - she's calling all over town about it, saying she doesn't know how it happened, since Daniel had The Book! Fido shows up (in a clever disguise - an orange velour running suit) with The Book.
As they head back towards the office, Daniel starts preparing an alibi, but Betty suggests telling the truth. When they get there, Betty listens from another room as he tells the rest of the staff and Natalie that it's all his fault - he left the book in his office. Amanda hands Betty her stuff in a box and tells her she should quit before she's fired.
Betty runs into Nat on the elevator and says she's quitting (to prevent being fired) because of the fat photos. Anyway, for whatever her opinion is worth, the unretouched photos were better.
Daniel apologizes to his father about the problem with The Book and doesn't mention Betty. Brad says he's happy that Dan is telling the truth for once. Then Nat bursts in and says they mustn't fire Betty - she gave her an idea to solve the problem.
Willie calls Brad and claims that "her people" have found The Book. He tells her to turn on her TV - where the Fashion TV reporter is saying that Natalie is asking Mode to publish her unretouched photos. Willie slumps with defeat. Later, she tells Daniel that The Book was dropped off anonymously at the front desk. (She'd better hope Daniel doesn't compare notes with Brad, since "my people found it" is a lot different than "it was dropped off anonymously.")
That night, while looking through The Book (the Natalie announcement bought him an extra day), Daniel gets a call from a woman whose voice he doesn't recognize. She warns him about his father.
Meanwhile, Brad burns the evidence from Fey's house.
Bradford Meade (Daniel's father) asks Daniel if he's seen The Book (he hasn't). The Book is a running mockup - a live rough draft - of the magazine. Daniel should review it every day to keep on top of what's going on. "Whoever controls the book controls the magazine," he tells Daniel. Since they're going to press tomorrow, Daniel should look at it tonight.
Betty sits in on a meeting with famous actress Natalie Whitman, who has not yet shed the 30 pounds she gained for her recent movie. Willie and the others are retouching her photo, which will be on the cover of the magazine. Natalie is not happy that they are slimming her down so much, but she is told that it would be awful for anyone to see her unretouched photos. Nat is unhappy about this, but reluctantly agrees.
Daniel tells Willie that he wants to see The Book. Tonight, and every night from now on. She sweetly tells him he should delegate such tasks, but he insists. Later, while Fido rubs her feet, she decides she will use The Book to trick him into signing off on unretouched ("fat") photos of Nat. If such photos were to be published, no one would ever want to appear in, or do business, with Mode again. She could save the day at the last minute, becoming a hero and making Daniel look stupid (same basic plan as last week).
At lunch, Nat approaches the table where Betty and the other normal-looking girls are eating. (That's right, a famous actress is visiting their office but has to fend for herself in the lunchroom because no one has offered to take her out or bring her something to eat.) She complains that all the available food is low-cal and tasteless, but Betty's empenadas smell yummy. Betty shares her lunch with Nat, who engages in friendly chat with the normal-looking girls.
Willie meets with the Mummy, who is indeed Fey Sommers, the previous editor of Mode. She suspects Brad of arranging the crash that allegedly killed her. She wants to get proof and put him in jail. She suggests to Willie that they use Daniel to get to Brad.
Brad meets with that guy again in the park. To avoid annoying pronoun confusion, I'll call him Chuck. Fey's things are about to be auctioned off. Chuck offers to break in and remove any incriminating evidence. Brad says he'll do it, because he has a key, and besides, Chuck wouldn't know what's incriminating. Chuck looks surprised that Brad has a key.
Late that day, Fido brings The Book to Daniel. He tells Daniel to pay special attention to the fanny pack article (nice misdirection attempt, kiddo). He's about to start reviewing it when Amanda comes in - Willie has given her tickets to the opera, and she wants to molest Daniel in their secluded box seat. He jumps at this offer, leaving the book on his desk. Betty sees it and takes it home, where it will be safe.
Bwahahahaha.
Justin can't wait to look at all the proofs. He quickly notices the fat-photos of Natalie and Betty worries. Then boyfriend-stealing neighbor Gina shows up, wanting $4000 for the plasma (not LCD, sorry) TV that broke when Betty slammed Gina's front door last week. Hilda (Betty's sister) brandishes The Book threateningly at Gina. When Betty warns Hilda to be careful, Gina is intrigued by the book's apparent value to Betty.
That night, Gina breaks into their house and steals The Book. Meanwhile, Brad breaks into Fey's house (remember, Fey is allegedly dead, she doesn't live there anymore) and steals a music box and a photo of him with Fey.
The next morning, Betty finds a ransom note from Gina. Then the phone rings - it's Daniel. He just got Betty's message (which she left last night) that she's taken The Book home. Since they're going to press tonight, he's sending a car to her house right now so that he can see The Book asap. Betty takes Hilda's advice to not tell Daniel that it's missing, but she does mention the unretouched fat photos of Natalie.
Betty gets dressed, and she and Hilda go to Gina's house to confront her. Betty goes to the front, and Hilda sneaks in through the back, which was unlocked. Hilda and Gina have a chickenfight while Betty searches frantically.
Despite Daniel's best efforts to close the elevator doors quickly, Willie manages to slip through the paper-thin opening and smugly asks about The Book. He casually mentions the fat photos. She's speechless.
Back at Gina's house, a car horn honks outside. Betty decides to give up and just tell Daniel the truth. In the car, she calls Christina and tells her everything - including Gina's first and last name and that Gina wants $4000 or a new TV. The driver discreetly texts all this info to Willie.
Betty gets to the office and tells Daniel what's been happening. He agrees to pay the ransom and they speed out to Queens, but when they get there, Gina already has a new TV, and no Book! She turns on the TV, and the Fashion TV reporter (Lucy Davis, from the British version of The Office) announces that there are rumors that Mode magazine has let Nat's fat pictures escape into the wild.
Of course, this "rumor" is Willie's doing - she's calling all over town about it, saying she doesn't know how it happened, since Daniel had The Book! Fido shows up (in a clever disguise - an orange velour running suit) with The Book.
As they head back towards the office, Daniel starts preparing an alibi, but Betty suggests telling the truth. When they get there, Betty listens from another room as he tells the rest of the staff and Natalie that it's all his fault - he left the book in his office. Amanda hands Betty her stuff in a box and tells her she should quit before she's fired.
Betty runs into Nat on the elevator and says she's quitting (to prevent being fired) because of the fat photos. Anyway, for whatever her opinion is worth, the unretouched photos were better.
Daniel apologizes to his father about the problem with The Book and doesn't mention Betty. Brad says he's happy that Dan is telling the truth for once. Then Nat bursts in and says they mustn't fire Betty - she gave her an idea to solve the problem.
Willie calls Brad and claims that "her people" have found The Book. He tells her to turn on her TV - where the Fashion TV reporter is saying that Natalie is asking Mode to publish her unretouched photos. Willie slumps with defeat. Later, she tells Daniel that The Book was dropped off anonymously at the front desk. (She'd better hope Daniel doesn't compare notes with Brad, since "my people found it" is a lot different than "it was dropped off anonymously.")
That night, while looking through The Book (the Natalie announcement bought him an extra day), Daniel gets a call from a woman whose voice he doesn't recognize. She warns him about his father.
Meanwhile, Brad burns the evidence from Fey's house.
2006-10-02
Woohoo!!
Thursday's premiere of Ugly Betty took first place in the Nielsen ratings for households (but Survivor took first place for individual viewers and the coveted 18-to-49 demographic). Read about it here.
Let's hope all the people who tuned in liked what they saw. And that NBC will move Earl and The Office back to the 9 o'clock hour!
Let's hope all the people who tuned in liked what they saw. And that NBC will move Earl and The Office back to the 9 o'clock hour!
Thoughts on the premiere episode
Timing is everying
I don't know yet how the premiere episode did in the ratings. I hate that ABC put it on in the same time slot as "My Name as Earl" and "The Office" on NBC and "La Fea más Bella" on Univision. My parents hate that they put it on against "Survivor" on CBS (and they'd also watch "Till Death" on Fox if it were not ALSO on at the same time). I have a friend who would watch "Ugly Betty" if it were not competing with "Smallville" on CW, the new UPN/WB hybrid.
So. If "Ugly Betty" doesn't get spectacular ratings during its first few weeks, I hope ABC will move it to a less crowded time slot. I think it's crazy to put a brand new show up against established hits like "The Office" and "Survivor," not to mention the Mexican version of "Ugly Betty" that did so well in the US ratings over the summer. People who already love Lety Padilla Soliz may not be willing to give her up one night per week in favor of the new Betty Suarez, who isn't even properly ugly.
Who's ugly?
Betty is supposed to be ugly - hence the show's title. Well, if you ever saw the Colombian "Yo Soy Betty, La Fea," or the Mexican "La Fea más Bella" or the Spanish "Yo Soy Bea" or any of the other spin-offs of the original Colombian show, then you've seen ugly. Heck, if you've ever been outside your house, you've seen ugly.
You may even have seen ugly in your own neighborhood, in your house, perhaps even your own mirror. Our Betty isn't ugly. She's a far cry from ugly; she's cute. In fact, she's adorable. Her wardrobe could use a little work, but so could mine. Her hair isn't fashionable, but it's clean and fluffy; her glasses flatter her face, and as for her braces - they're just not that bad. Her skin isn't spotty. She doesn't screw up her face hideously the way Lety does in the Mexican show.
Comparisons
It's tempting to try to compare Ugly Betty to the original Colombian show or one of the spinoffs. I think it's a good idea to forget about that. It's clearly headed in a different direction, and the characters aren't parallel. For example, while The Tripod may remind you of Mario at first, Mario never schemed against Armando. Willie is sort of like Daniel Valencia, but Marcela's brother was never in league with Mario. The Mendozas didn't have the senior Valencias whacked, and Marcela's parents didn't survive their accident.
Amanda isn't outrageously pretentious and doesn't constantly talk about her six semesters of finance and her ex-husband Mauricio Brickman. She wasn't hired to spy on Daniel the way Patricia was hired to spy on Armando. Daniel Meade isn't engaged. The entire subplot where Betty worries about her boss's impending wedding is gone. Et cetera.
But Walter would make a good Nicolas. He does seem to have a weakness for sexy, materialistic women. And it's easy to see where The Tripod might somehow convince Daniel to do something financially shady with the company and involve Betty, or get Daniel to seduce Betty for some reason, as part of a scheme for Willie. That could get really complicated and potentially funny.
I don't know yet how the premiere episode did in the ratings. I hate that ABC put it on in the same time slot as "My Name as Earl" and "The Office" on NBC and "La Fea más Bella" on Univision. My parents hate that they put it on against "Survivor" on CBS (and they'd also watch "Till Death" on Fox if it were not ALSO on at the same time). I have a friend who would watch "Ugly Betty" if it were not competing with "Smallville" on CW, the new UPN/WB hybrid.
So. If "Ugly Betty" doesn't get spectacular ratings during its first few weeks, I hope ABC will move it to a less crowded time slot. I think it's crazy to put a brand new show up against established hits like "The Office" and "Survivor," not to mention the Mexican version of "Ugly Betty" that did so well in the US ratings over the summer. People who already love Lety Padilla Soliz may not be willing to give her up one night per week in favor of the new Betty Suarez, who isn't even properly ugly.
Who's ugly?
Betty is supposed to be ugly - hence the show's title. Well, if you ever saw the Colombian "Yo Soy Betty, La Fea," or the Mexican "La Fea más Bella" or the Spanish "Yo Soy Bea" or any of the other spin-offs of the original Colombian show, then you've seen ugly. Heck, if you've ever been outside your house, you've seen ugly.
You may even have seen ugly in your own neighborhood, in your house, perhaps even your own mirror. Our Betty isn't ugly. She's a far cry from ugly; she's cute. In fact, she's adorable. Her wardrobe could use a little work, but so could mine. Her hair isn't fashionable, but it's clean and fluffy; her glasses flatter her face, and as for her braces - they're just not that bad. Her skin isn't spotty. She doesn't screw up her face hideously the way Lety does in the Mexican show.
Comparisons
It's tempting to try to compare Ugly Betty to the original Colombian show or one of the spinoffs. I think it's a good idea to forget about that. It's clearly headed in a different direction, and the characters aren't parallel. For example, while The Tripod may remind you of Mario at first, Mario never schemed against Armando. Willie is sort of like Daniel Valencia, but Marcela's brother was never in league with Mario. The Mendozas didn't have the senior Valencias whacked, and Marcela's parents didn't survive their accident.
Amanda isn't outrageously pretentious and doesn't constantly talk about her six semesters of finance and her ex-husband Mauricio Brickman. She wasn't hired to spy on Daniel the way Patricia was hired to spy on Armando. Daniel Meade isn't engaged. The entire subplot where Betty worries about her boss's impending wedding is gone. Et cetera.
But Walter would make a good Nicolas. He does seem to have a weakness for sexy, materialistic women. And it's easy to see where The Tripod might somehow convince Daniel to do something financially shady with the company and involve Betty, or get Daniel to seduce Betty for some reason, as part of a scheme for Willie. That could get really complicated and potentially funny.
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