Nely Galán is still stunned by the previous boardroom; she's convinced that Gene Simmons took a bullet just for her. Piers Morgan is relieved that Simmons is gone; that's less competition for Morgan.
Tito Ortiz is given a check for $20,000 to give to his charity, the St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. The Gray-Haired Guy Who Isn't George of the Week is Vince McMahon, the wrestling promoter. The task is for the two teams to negotiate with one another to choose four out of eight Broadway shows, then do booth sales for two hours.
Marilu Henner takes charge of Empresario, and Vincent Pastore takes charge of Hydra. Pastore employs a bizarre negotiating tactic: he tells Henner to name two shows that she wants, and then he disagrees. However, the two teams quickly divvy up the eight shows and start calling their contacts.
Galán says that one thing she learned from Simmons was to not be afraid to ask for what she wants; this is often difficult for women to do. She begins working her way through her thick black book. Meanwhile, Stephen Baldwin and Morgan bicker vigorously about... you know, I'm not even sure. I'm not sure there was a subject. I think it was just name-calling. Morgan calls his good buddy Richard Branson and gets him to agree to send two stewardesses to the ticket booth with a check for $10,000.
The women get an eye-catching red booth, while the men have a blue booth. Henner has her friend David Hyde Pierce to come by, but instead of having him attract people to the booth, she merely "introduces" him to people who come to the booth. Meanwhile, Morgan dresses in chainmail as King Arthur to yell at people on the street to buy Spamalot tickets. Because he's a much bigger celebrity in the UK, every British tourist in the Broadway area gravitates to the mens' booth. Baldwin also gets Bob Saget to come by, and Trace Adkins gets his contacts at EMI to spend $5000.
Inside Empresario's booth, Jennie Finch and Carol Alt perform the cash transactions, but when a few customers seem more very willing to open their wallets and aren't sure exactly how they want to spend it, instead of seizing the opportunity, Finch and Alt tell them to "think about it" and come back! Galán's contacts show up with a promise to buy, but no money. Galán sends them for a check - pledges won't count in this competition; the tickets have to be paid for before the deadline!
The stewardesses from Virgin get to Hydra's booth moments before the competition ends. Galán's people don't make it in time. Nevertheless, Henner is far more confident than Pastore when they meet in the boardroom. She is sure that Empresario has won; Pastore seems uncharacteristically nervous. The grand totals are announced: Empresario made a little under $32,000; Hydra made a little more than $33,000. Pastore will get $50,000 for a pancreatic cancer charity, and the remaining $15,000 will go to a fund for public schools.
Henner claims they lost because the men have greater star power and better contacts. Pastore protests that Morgan was in costume and couldn't be recognized, but since Morgan earlier said that every British person around recognized him, this seems pretty weak. Galán says their money showed up too late because of rain and traffic, but the same rain and traffic wasn't a problem for the Virgin people.
Vince McMahon says Alt should have been in front of the booth, attracting customers with her famous face; same for Finch. Omarosa and Alt blame one another for the loss. Galán says the team is full of "good workers" rather than leaders, but still suggests firing Henner.
Still, Henner chooses Alt and Finch to bring back to the boardroom. (Watching on closed-circuit TV, Baldwin tells the other men: "They need Nely.") Out in the lobby, Alt complains that Omarosa is the person who ruins the group. Inside the boardroom, McMahon says that Jennie lacks the competitive spirit for business tasks. Ivanka Trump emphatically says that Henner mustn't be fired, because she is Empresario's only shot at winning. (Ivanka is also not a big Nely fan.)
Trump asks Henner: why didn't you bring Omarosa? Henner says that she works well with Omarosa and Galán. In essence, she can afford to lose Alt or Finch. It's a no-brainer for Trump: Finch hasn't done much of anything on any task, and isn't even able to defend herself in the boardroom. She's competitive as an Olympic softball player, but she's not a business leader. She's fired.
2008-01-27
Celebrity Apprentice week 3, 1/17/08: Gene Simmons fires himself
Trump gives Gene Simmons a $20,000 check for a pediatric AIDS charity and puts him in charge of the womens' group, virtually guaranteeing a win for Empresario. Simmons promises to be a "benevolent dictator." Tito Ortiz takes the reins for Hydra.
The task is to create a sales campaign for selling Kodak printers out of an RV. (The competition is the campaign, not the sales amount.) Perhaps in an attempt to address the complaints that were directed at him the previous week, Simmons sends Nely Galán and Carol Alt to meet with Kodak; he says there's no need to tie up the whole team with a meeting. Galán does most of the talking, even interrupting the Kodak executives a few times. However, she and Alt do get the point that Kodak wants to emphasize that their ink is better and less expensive than their competitors'.
This doesn't matter to Simmons, who comes up with the slogan "It's a Kodak World. Welcome!!!" printed over and over again which, he proudly points out, can also be read as "Welcome!!! It's a Kodak World." And that's all he wants to put on their signage. No photos or drawings - not even, say, some sort of a picture of the world. Just text. Galán points out that this is about an affordable printer and ink. Simmons says Kodak is wrong. His confidence rubs off on his teammates. Galán seems genuinely mesmerized and smitten. Even Omarosa seems to admire him - though she coolly says only that she hopes for a win.
Meanwhile, over on the mens' team, Stephen Baldwin is hopped up on so-called energy drinks and spewing acronyms like a madman. Piers Morgan comes up with an idea: Ortiz and Lewis Lennox sprawled out next to the printer, having been knocked out. Frenzied Baldwin accidentally spills his drink into their laptop, and they lose all of their work. They start over.
Finally, it's time for the sale to begin. Despite the meaningless, vague slogan and the lackluster text, Empresario's RV looks very neat and professional; Hydra's artwork is much more compelling, but because the men had very little time to get their materials printed, the signage is small and cheesey. Alec Baldwin comes by to help Hydra show off the printers. At Empresario's RV, Simmons doesn't know a thing about the printer.
In the boardroom, it's revealed that Kodak was miffed that Simmons didn't bring his entire team to meet with Kodak, and that Galán talked too much for the second week in a row. On the other hand, Hydra's materials weren't very good. Nevertheless, Kodak was much more impressed with Hydra's overall approach. Empresario hangs out in the boardroom for the fourth week in a row.
Simmons defends his ignorance of the product (he doesn't even know what it's called) by saying "I sell emotion." Unfortunately, Kodak is selling a printer and some ink. Simmons insists that Kodak is wrong. Nevertheless, for reasons that aren't clear to me, Trump seems to focus most of his dissastisfaction on Galán.
Simmons decides to bring Omarosa and Jennie Finch back to the boardroom. (These were the two women whom no one had blamed for the team's loss.) Out in the lobby, Omarosa complains that she's tired of always being the scapegoat.
Mad Money's Jim Kramer, who is the Gray-Haired Guy of the Week Who Isn't George, is visibly offended by Simmons's choice; I guess he was hoping to see Galán fired too. Simmons admits that he likes/admires Galán. He very stubbornly stands by his opinion that Kodak chose the wrong winner. Trump has no choice but to fire him.
My question is: did Simmons deliberately create an ultra-lame campaign with the intention of being fired? I think he did. I think he didn't want to keep doing Celebrity Apprentice because something else came up that he wanted to do, so he threw himself under the bus.
The task is to create a sales campaign for selling Kodak printers out of an RV. (The competition is the campaign, not the sales amount.) Perhaps in an attempt to address the complaints that were directed at him the previous week, Simmons sends Nely Galán and Carol Alt to meet with Kodak; he says there's no need to tie up the whole team with a meeting. Galán does most of the talking, even interrupting the Kodak executives a few times. However, she and Alt do get the point that Kodak wants to emphasize that their ink is better and less expensive than their competitors'.
This doesn't matter to Simmons, who comes up with the slogan "It's a Kodak World. Welcome!!!" printed over and over again which, he proudly points out, can also be read as "Welcome!!! It's a Kodak World." And that's all he wants to put on their signage. No photos or drawings - not even, say, some sort of a picture of the world. Just text. Galán points out that this is about an affordable printer and ink. Simmons says Kodak is wrong. His confidence rubs off on his teammates. Galán seems genuinely mesmerized and smitten. Even Omarosa seems to admire him - though she coolly says only that she hopes for a win.
Meanwhile, over on the mens' team, Stephen Baldwin is hopped up on so-called energy drinks and spewing acronyms like a madman. Piers Morgan comes up with an idea: Ortiz and Lewis Lennox sprawled out next to the printer, having been knocked out. Frenzied Baldwin accidentally spills his drink into their laptop, and they lose all of their work. They start over.
Finally, it's time for the sale to begin. Despite the meaningless, vague slogan and the lackluster text, Empresario's RV looks very neat and professional; Hydra's artwork is much more compelling, but because the men had very little time to get their materials printed, the signage is small and cheesey. Alec Baldwin comes by to help Hydra show off the printers. At Empresario's RV, Simmons doesn't know a thing about the printer.
In the boardroom, it's revealed that Kodak was miffed that Simmons didn't bring his entire team to meet with Kodak, and that Galán talked too much for the second week in a row. On the other hand, Hydra's materials weren't very good. Nevertheless, Kodak was much more impressed with Hydra's overall approach. Empresario hangs out in the boardroom for the fourth week in a row.
Simmons defends his ignorance of the product (he doesn't even know what it's called) by saying "I sell emotion." Unfortunately, Kodak is selling a printer and some ink. Simmons insists that Kodak is wrong. Nevertheless, for reasons that aren't clear to me, Trump seems to focus most of his dissastisfaction on Galán.
Simmons decides to bring Omarosa and Jennie Finch back to the boardroom. (These were the two women whom no one had blamed for the team's loss.) Out in the lobby, Omarosa complains that she's tired of always being the scapegoat.
Mad Money's Jim Kramer, who is the Gray-Haired Guy of the Week Who Isn't George, is visibly offended by Simmons's choice; I guess he was hoping to see Galán fired too. Simmons admits that he likes/admires Galán. He very stubbornly stands by his opinion that Kodak chose the wrong winner. Trump has no choice but to fire him.
My question is: did Simmons deliberately create an ultra-lame campaign with the intention of being fired? I think he did. I think he didn't want to keep doing Celebrity Apprentice because something else came up that he wanted to do, so he threw himself under the bus.
Jan. 24, 2008 (2.13, aka #36): The discomfort zone
Daniel meets a sexy woman named Renee in a nightclub. She asks him to dance, supposedly to make her boyfriend jealous; but it's just a ruse, because she likes him. He takes her to his loft, and as they flop onto the bed in the dark, they land on Claire, who hasn't been quite sure what to do with herself since she got out of jail. She doesn't want to stay at the house because there are too many memories, so she's decided to stay at Daniel's instead. Renee leaves, but says she's impressed that Daniel takes care of his mother.
For their next date, Daniel and Renee go to Renee's place. Later, he hears her in the shower, but finds Wil there instead. That's how he discovers that Renee is Wil's sister (and I guess this means he didn't know where Wil lives). Angry, he dumps her and leaves. Wil is angry with Renee. Renee gloats. They taunt one another: Renee calls Wil "Wanda," and Wil calls Renee "Rhonda." Christina, who has been hanging out at Wil's because Wil wants her to stay in bed with her legs up until they're sure the fertilized egg is implanted properly, overhears the whole thing and tells Betty (about Renee and Wil being sisters; she doesn't know about Wil's plain past, so the stuff about "Rhonda" and "Wanda" went over her head). Betty agrees with Daniel that getting involved with Wil's sister would just be asking for trouble.
Later, Renee comes by with flowers and apologizes to Daniel. She admits that she dated him to annoy her sister, but says she really likes him. He rejects her with difficulty. He goes to Betty's house for moral support. Betty tells him to go for it; after all, she and her sister aren't much alike, and neither are Daniel and Alexis. Wil is horrified to find him in her apartment the very next morning. She tells him he'll regret being with Renee.
Still later, Renee gloats at Wil some more. Wil issues a vague threat about letting Daniel "the truth" about Renee. Christina overhears this too.
After a lot of sulking and a knitting class, Claire decides to start a magazine called Hot Flash for older women who aren't ready to stop living. Daniel and Alexis are skeptical, but she is determined.
Amanda is convinced that Gene Simmons is her father, but she's had trouble getting in touch with him. Fido suggests that she write a song for him, perform it, put it on YouTube, and wait for Simmons to see it. Fido tries to help her compose the song. He gets all misty and says he hopes someday he'll have an illegitimate daughter who will sing him such a sweet song.
Meanwhile, Henry is managing a band called "The IRS" (it's okay - they're accountants) to supplement his income for the baby's sake. The band's lead singer is really terrible; Henry decides to advertise at work for a new one. Amanda needs a band; after a dumb but funny conversation with Henry, she gets together with "The IRS" to record the song.
Betty is bummed that the articles she's been submitting to magazines have been getting rejected. Someone has backed out of doing an interview with popular author Phil Roth, so Betty asks Daniel to let her do it instead. Betty thinks Daniel means Philip Roth, but Gio explains to her that Phil Roth, the man who's waiting for her in the conference room, writes books about picking up women. Betty is offended, but Gio reminds her that she wanted to write an article, and that she should be open-minded.
Phil greets her with his book, titled "Tap That: How to Score with Hot Bitches." He feels that the easiest way to get a woman interested is to insult her, then ignore her. He demonstrates his technique on Amanda, who falls in love instantly. Betty politely ends the interview and writes an article about Hilda starting her own business instead. Daniel's displeased; he thinks their readers will be more interested in knowing "what men are thinking." When she protests, he craftily tells her that Phil called and asked for a more open-minded writer. Offended, Betty insists on another chance.
She and Henry read Phil's book. Henry is intrigued and wants to see if the technique works. He thinks an experiment in a bar will provide a good angle for Betty's story. Betty agrees, but much to Henry's chagrin, she wants to use Gio as their subject. Henry thinks he should be the one to try the technique instead.
While Betty and Gio talk at the bar, they watch a pretty girl give someone her phone number. They are both annoyed when they see it's Henry. The two men decide to compete for phone numbers. They proceed to insult every woman in the club with comments like "your doctor did an amazing job" and "it's so nice to meet a girl who doesn't buy into that whole 'skinny' thing" and "man, you've got some big feet." The final score is 7-6, with Henry victorious. Gio keeps the phone numbers as a consolation prize.
Betty is upset with Henry, and with men in general. Even her father is reading Phil's book now. Hilda tells Betty to be more open-minded, and says it if weren't for books like that, men wouldn't have the courage to speak to women at all. (I think this was meant to sound sympathetic towards men, but it just makes them sound insecure and unappealing.)
Phil comes back for his interview. She tells him that she saw his technique in action and has to admit that it works on some women. Betty discovers that Phil never called Daniel to ask for a new writer. Phil gloats that Betty can get played after all.
After writing the article, she confronts Daniel, who tells her the deception was necessary to get her to step outside her comfort zone. He says the article was good, but Alexis is pulling it because Phil Roth offends her now that she's a woman. Betty is still glad that Daniel had enough faith in her to give her a second chance at the article.
Henry is nervous about his new, improved band's maiden voyage this evening with Amanda at the Mic. Betty thinks of some people she can get to come to the show to bring in some more money; Henry bristles when she mentions Gio's name. He says he trusts Betty, but not Gio; and the way Betty felt when she watched him hit on women is how he feels when he sees her with Gio. She agrees not to see Gio any more. In return, Henry has to learn how to make her favorite sandwich.
That night, Fido sets up the cameras and introduces the band. Amanda starts singing "Gene Simmons Is My Daddy." It's a performance that only a father could love; in fact, he does love it. He tells Amanda that he found out about the performance during his daily self-Google. He admits that the story, as described in the song, is true. He and Amanda take off for a talk.
The magic of this moment is lost on Henry, whose band is without a singer. Betty tries to get Henry to do it. He says he'll do it only if she sings with him; so she does. They're a little awkward at first, but they improve.
Next week:
There's no "next week" in the forseeable future. Major bummer!
For their next date, Daniel and Renee go to Renee's place. Later, he hears her in the shower, but finds Wil there instead. That's how he discovers that Renee is Wil's sister (and I guess this means he didn't know where Wil lives). Angry, he dumps her and leaves. Wil is angry with Renee. Renee gloats. They taunt one another: Renee calls Wil "Wanda," and Wil calls Renee "Rhonda." Christina, who has been hanging out at Wil's because Wil wants her to stay in bed with her legs up until they're sure the fertilized egg is implanted properly, overhears the whole thing and tells Betty (about Renee and Wil being sisters; she doesn't know about Wil's plain past, so the stuff about "Rhonda" and "Wanda" went over her head). Betty agrees with Daniel that getting involved with Wil's sister would just be asking for trouble.
Later, Renee comes by with flowers and apologizes to Daniel. She admits that she dated him to annoy her sister, but says she really likes him. He rejects her with difficulty. He goes to Betty's house for moral support. Betty tells him to go for it; after all, she and her sister aren't much alike, and neither are Daniel and Alexis. Wil is horrified to find him in her apartment the very next morning. She tells him he'll regret being with Renee.
Still later, Renee gloats at Wil some more. Wil issues a vague threat about letting Daniel "the truth" about Renee. Christina overhears this too.
After a lot of sulking and a knitting class, Claire decides to start a magazine called Hot Flash for older women who aren't ready to stop living. Daniel and Alexis are skeptical, but she is determined.
Amanda is convinced that Gene Simmons is her father, but she's had trouble getting in touch with him. Fido suggests that she write a song for him, perform it, put it on YouTube, and wait for Simmons to see it. Fido tries to help her compose the song. He gets all misty and says he hopes someday he'll have an illegitimate daughter who will sing him such a sweet song.
Meanwhile, Henry is managing a band called "The IRS" (it's okay - they're accountants) to supplement his income for the baby's sake. The band's lead singer is really terrible; Henry decides to advertise at work for a new one. Amanda needs a band; after a dumb but funny conversation with Henry, she gets together with "The IRS" to record the song.
Betty is bummed that the articles she's been submitting to magazines have been getting rejected. Someone has backed out of doing an interview with popular author Phil Roth, so Betty asks Daniel to let her do it instead. Betty thinks Daniel means Philip Roth, but Gio explains to her that Phil Roth, the man who's waiting for her in the conference room, writes books about picking up women. Betty is offended, but Gio reminds her that she wanted to write an article, and that she should be open-minded.
Phil greets her with his book, titled "Tap That: How to Score with Hot Bitches." He feels that the easiest way to get a woman interested is to insult her, then ignore her. He demonstrates his technique on Amanda, who falls in love instantly. Betty politely ends the interview and writes an article about Hilda starting her own business instead. Daniel's displeased; he thinks their readers will be more interested in knowing "what men are thinking." When she protests, he craftily tells her that Phil called and asked for a more open-minded writer. Offended, Betty insists on another chance.
She and Henry read Phil's book. Henry is intrigued and wants to see if the technique works. He thinks an experiment in a bar will provide a good angle for Betty's story. Betty agrees, but much to Henry's chagrin, she wants to use Gio as their subject. Henry thinks he should be the one to try the technique instead.
While Betty and Gio talk at the bar, they watch a pretty girl give someone her phone number. They are both annoyed when they see it's Henry. The two men decide to compete for phone numbers. They proceed to insult every woman in the club with comments like "your doctor did an amazing job" and "it's so nice to meet a girl who doesn't buy into that whole 'skinny' thing" and "man, you've got some big feet." The final score is 7-6, with Henry victorious. Gio keeps the phone numbers as a consolation prize.
Betty is upset with Henry, and with men in general. Even her father is reading Phil's book now. Hilda tells Betty to be more open-minded, and says it if weren't for books like that, men wouldn't have the courage to speak to women at all. (I think this was meant to sound sympathetic towards men, but it just makes them sound insecure and unappealing.)
Phil comes back for his interview. She tells him that she saw his technique in action and has to admit that it works on some women. Betty discovers that Phil never called Daniel to ask for a new writer. Phil gloats that Betty can get played after all.
After writing the article, she confronts Daniel, who tells her the deception was necessary to get her to step outside her comfort zone. He says the article was good, but Alexis is pulling it because Phil Roth offends her now that she's a woman. Betty is still glad that Daniel had enough faith in her to give her a second chance at the article.
Henry is nervous about his new, improved band's maiden voyage this evening with Amanda at the Mic. Betty thinks of some people she can get to come to the show to bring in some more money; Henry bristles when she mentions Gio's name. He says he trusts Betty, but not Gio; and the way Betty felt when she watched him hit on women is how he feels when he sees her with Gio. She agrees not to see Gio any more. In return, Henry has to learn how to make her favorite sandwich.
That night, Fido sets up the cameras and introduces the band. Amanda starts singing "Gene Simmons Is My Daddy." It's a performance that only a father could love; in fact, he does love it. He tells Amanda that he found out about the performance during his daily self-Google. He admits that the story, as described in the song, is true. He and Amanda take off for a talk.
The magic of this moment is lost on Henry, whose band is without a singer. Betty tries to get Henry to do it. He says he'll do it only if she sings with him; so she does. They're a little awkward at first, but they improve.
Next week:
There's no "next week" in the forseeable future. Major bummer!
2008-01-17
Jan. 17, 2008 (2.12, aka #35): Something's rotten from the state of Denmark
Betty's under arrest. She threw a trashcan through the window of Gio's deli and passed out. Gio declines to press charges.
(Rewinding three days...)
Claire has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity in Fey's murder. Alexis and Daniel send Betty to pick up some of their mother's things to cheer her up.
Wil tries to get Christina to carry her baby in exchange for $100,000. Christina is furious when she discovers that they're trying to leverage Stuart's health problems. She turns them down. She lets Betty know that she's got an alternate plan - she's found a dress that Jackie Kennedy wore to a state dinner. It should fetch a handsome price. Unfortunately, Marc overhears all of this.
Claire is thrilled, grateful, and bummed about the things Betty brought, especially a bottle of perfume. The guard won't let her keep it, so she gives it to Betty - as a gift. Betty thinks it's "too fancy," but agrees to hold onto it for Claire.
Amanda is upset to find uninvited people in her mother's sex dungeon. She collects some of her mother's things from the room and brings them back to her desk. She finds diary pages pinned all over the back of a painting. One of the entries tells the story of how Fey got Bradford to buy Claire a bottle of perfume while the two lovers were having a tryst in Denmark.
As Amanda reads to herself, Betty stares at the perfume bottle, trying to resist the temptation to try it out. Eventually, she gives in. The next diary entry reveals that Fey added some toxins to the perfume in hopes that it would kill Claire.
Betty is typing euphorically at about a thousand words per minute, and talking almost as fast. Henry loves the perfume. He's going to Tuscon tomorrow for Charlie's ultrasound. Betty has packed him a care package.
Alexis testifies on her mother's behalf. The prosecution tries to discredit her immediately, based on the fact that she had lied about being dead when she was having her sex-change operation. The judge seems more sympathetic, however. At lunch, a woman asks if anyone has change for a $20 bill; Daniel offers to help. It turns out the woman is the judge. Cameras flash all around them as Daniel hands cash to the judge. The judge recuses herself from the case.
Betty sees this reported on TV and gets worried, but is distracted by an itching-fit. She sees the perfume from across the room, and rushes over for more - neatly leaping over a chair along the way. Gio comes along with some sandwiches. Betty tells him that her pastrami sandwich tastes like purple. The tomatos taste like sunshine. She stuffs one in Gio's mouth. Gio teases her about Henry's Tuscon trip; what will he be doing with Charlie?
Betty complains that she's sweating; Gio is amazed at how good she smells. She thinks he smells good too.
Claire's lawyer says he's only ever lost one case. Unfortunately, the new judge on the case was the judge from the one he lost. Her name is Nancy Biotch, and she's in a terrible mood. The first thing she does is insult Daniel.
Betty is babbling at Henry, telling him he can sleep with whomever he wants, oh no he can't, he'd better call her, no he'd better call her on the bat-phone. She high-fives a passing production assistant, then zooms in on a couple of models wearing 60s-retro psychedelic-patterned dresses. Henry is worried about her behavior, but she says she feels GREAT!! As he gets into an elevator full of people, she practically jumps on his head. Christina witnesses this last part and teases Betty about it. Betty puts Christina in an affectionate headlock and licks her face.
In the Dungeon, now cleared of its interlopers, Amanda, Fido, and Halston discuss the diary entries. Since the poisoned perfume made Claire crazy, the diary would exonerate her. Amanda wants to burn the pages instead, to protect Fey's reputation. Halston suddenly becomes agitated; Amanda tells Fido to burn them for her while she tends to the dog; she doesn't want Security to seize him again.
Next day, Betty sings off-key and dances to a KISS song. She swats her father affectionately and says she didn't sleep at all last night. Henry never called. But she feels great. Kind of itchy, with a dry mouth and no appetite for juevos rancheros. Whipped cream straight out of the can is more to her liking. She takes off for the office, scratching.
In court, the prosecuting attorney is discrediting Daniel's testimony and interrupting every time Daniel answers his somewhat leading questions. The Meades' lawyer objects, but the judge wants to hear more. The Meades' lawyer essentially gives up trying to assert his clients' rights. (Daniel does manage to say that Claire was seeing things and becoming paranoid just before Fey's death.)
Betty mopes at her desk, waiting for Henry to call. The perfume bottle sparkles temptingly. She takes another hit. She's becoming irritable. Gio comes back and apologizes for making fun of Henry and his love for egg salad, but Betty gets paranoid and misinterprets everything Gio says. She's convinced that Henry is fooling around with Charlie. She yells at Gio and sends him out. Her coworkers stare at her uncharacteristic outburst. She takes another hit of the perfume.
Wil and Fido admire Jackie Kennedy's dress, which Fido smuggled out of the Closet. Wil decides that they're going to have to make the dress "disappear" so that Christina will agree to carry the baby.
Amanda comes by to ask Betty for a donation from Petty Cash. Betty is ranting and raving about Henry's presumed perfidy, and mindlessly hands over the entire wad of cash. She gropes at some sparkly beads on Amanda's neckline and mops her own sweaty face with a scarf. Amanda tells Betty that she's sure Gio has a crush on her. Betty says that's too bad for him, because she's in love with Henry, who's perfect, that big stupid jerk! Another hit of perfume. She inhales deeply. Amanda asks about the perfume. Betty clutches the bottle possessively and says she's going to write a "strongly-worded note" warning Gio to leave her alone. Amanda eyes the perfume bottle enviously. (I seem to recall that when she wrote a "strongly-worded note" to Marc, she said something like "you stink.")
Betty rushes off to Gio's deli, muttering all the way. The door is locked. She flips out, yelling and screaming, and pitches a trashcan through the window.
At the hospital, she complains of a headache and sweating. She doesn't want Gio to call her family, but news gets around fast, and soon the whole gang is there.
Christina meets with a motivated buyer. She goes for the dress, but it (or perhaps a copy of it) has been ruined. The fabric is slashed all over, and there's a sad face spray-painted across it. Christina quickly figures out who's to blame and confronts Wil. Wil says Christina is the only person she can trust with her baby. (Wil hasn't told Christina that Bradford is the father - she claims it's an anonymous sperm donor.)
The doctor wants to speak privately with Betty. Ignacio assumes she's pregnant. The doctor says no, it looks more like drugs. Betty denies it. The doctor says either she's taking drugs, or someone's drugging her. She talks to Henry to let him know what's going on. Justin and Hilda make a thoroughly tacky, uncalled-for plug for Grey's Anatomy. The doctor comes back with the blood test results: she's got high levels of numerous toxins, including toad venom. It's almost out of her system now, but if she had too much she'd hallucinate, become paranoid, and die.
They wonder what she's been doing different lately. Finally, Betty realizes it's the perfume. She rushes back to the office, but the bottle is gone! (The stuff is $200/oz, and she leaves it out on her desk in plain sight?) She finds a sparkly bead at her desk and remembers Amanda's interest in the perfume. She confronts Amanda, saying that the perfume is evidence that Claire was insane. Amanda says it was her mother's first, and she gave it to Brad who gave it to Claire, as she read in Fey's diary. So the perfume is technically hers. (I hope Amanda never has to represent herself in court.) Betty is shocked to hear that Fey had a diary.
As far as Amanda's concerned, Claire killed Fey, so there's no reason to help her out. Betty appeals to Amanda's fondness for Daniel, saying he shouldn't be deprived of his own mother now as well. Just to be on the safe side, Betty reminds her that she (Betty) lost her mother also.
Soon, Betty is rushing the bottle and the blood test results to court. The Meades' lawyer calls Betty to the stand. She testifies about what happened to her after using the perfume for just two days, while Claire had been using it for six months. (I assume Claire used it much more sparingly than Betty did.) The prosecution asks Betty why Bradford would give his wife poisoned perfume. Betty tells all about the diary entry and how Fey gave it to Bradford to give to Claire, and Brad didn't know it was poisoned. The lawyer tries to discredit Betty based on her desire to help her employer. He claims that the perfume was tested. He guzzles some of it and pretends to choke. As Betty panics, he "recovers" and announces that it's tap water.
Betty doesn't understand. Just in case we're as dense as she is, we're shown Amanda gloating in the Dungeon with Fido as she admires the old perfume in a new bottle.
The lawyer continues to mock Betty, dabbing tap water behind his ears. The Meades don't blame Betty. Claire says it's time she got on the stand and told her side of the story.
Fido is refusing to destroy the perfume. He says he's doing more evil these days than he did when he actually worked there. Amanda just wants to dump the stuff in the river, but she insists that he has to go with her. Fido doesn't want to commit crimes that are just plain evil, without benefiting his career in some way. He asks why Amanda feels that Claire should have to "pay" when all she did was put on some perfume.
He shows Amanda the diary pages, which he had decided not to burn. He thinks the reason Amanda is trying to get him to destroy this evidence for her is because she can't bring herself to do it, because she knows that it's all really Fey's fault.
Amanda slaps him, then hugs him and thanks him.
Claire is giving her testimony. She talks about Bradford's open affair with an employee, Fey. (Betty's phone vibrates loudly; she leaves the courtroom to take the call.) Amanda is in the hallway with the perfume and the diary.
"I don't know what I would call my state of mind," Claire is saying in a frustrated voice as Betty returns to the courtroom with the real evidence. Two seconds later, the jury declares Claire Not Guilty By Reason of Temporary Insanity. The Meades collapse on one another with relief. The judge takes off her robe, revealing vacation clothes underneath, and takes off.
Back at the office, Claire leads the staff in a toast to Mode. Daniel thanks Betty for her help. Gio comes by to congratulate her. He forgives her for breaking his window, and gently mocks her "strongly worded note." The hug awkwardly. He watches as Betty and Claire exchange fond words.
Christina is at Wil's doctor's office, preparing for the insemination. (I'm confused. Why is she being inseminated? I thought we were using Wil's eggs? Ah, I see... they implant the egg first, then fertilize it... weird... I would have thought they'd do it in a dish.) Betty comes by and announces to Wil and Fido that she's going to be Christina's witness for the next nine months.
The egg gets fertilized. They all watch on the monitor as the the cells immediately begin to divide. (There's a gratuitous bubbling sound. I'm pretty sure there's no bubbling sound in real life.) Christina and Betty gape in fascination. Bored, Wil and Fido leave.
Next week
(Rewinding three days...)
Claire has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity in Fey's murder. Alexis and Daniel send Betty to pick up some of their mother's things to cheer her up.
Wil tries to get Christina to carry her baby in exchange for $100,000. Christina is furious when she discovers that they're trying to leverage Stuart's health problems. She turns them down. She lets Betty know that she's got an alternate plan - she's found a dress that Jackie Kennedy wore to a state dinner. It should fetch a handsome price. Unfortunately, Marc overhears all of this.
Claire is thrilled, grateful, and bummed about the things Betty brought, especially a bottle of perfume. The guard won't let her keep it, so she gives it to Betty - as a gift. Betty thinks it's "too fancy," but agrees to hold onto it for Claire.
Amanda is upset to find uninvited people in her mother's sex dungeon. She collects some of her mother's things from the room and brings them back to her desk. She finds diary pages pinned all over the back of a painting. One of the entries tells the story of how Fey got Bradford to buy Claire a bottle of perfume while the two lovers were having a tryst in Denmark.
As Amanda reads to herself, Betty stares at the perfume bottle, trying to resist the temptation to try it out. Eventually, she gives in. The next diary entry reveals that Fey added some toxins to the perfume in hopes that it would kill Claire.
Betty is typing euphorically at about a thousand words per minute, and talking almost as fast. Henry loves the perfume. He's going to Tuscon tomorrow for Charlie's ultrasound. Betty has packed him a care package.
Alexis testifies on her mother's behalf. The prosecution tries to discredit her immediately, based on the fact that she had lied about being dead when she was having her sex-change operation. The judge seems more sympathetic, however. At lunch, a woman asks if anyone has change for a $20 bill; Daniel offers to help. It turns out the woman is the judge. Cameras flash all around them as Daniel hands cash to the judge. The judge recuses herself from the case.
Betty sees this reported on TV and gets worried, but is distracted by an itching-fit. She sees the perfume from across the room, and rushes over for more - neatly leaping over a chair along the way. Gio comes along with some sandwiches. Betty tells him that her pastrami sandwich tastes like purple. The tomatos taste like sunshine. She stuffs one in Gio's mouth. Gio teases her about Henry's Tuscon trip; what will he be doing with Charlie?
Betty complains that she's sweating; Gio is amazed at how good she smells. She thinks he smells good too.
Claire's lawyer says he's only ever lost one case. Unfortunately, the new judge on the case was the judge from the one he lost. Her name is Nancy Biotch, and she's in a terrible mood. The first thing she does is insult Daniel.
Betty is babbling at Henry, telling him he can sleep with whomever he wants, oh no he can't, he'd better call her, no he'd better call her on the bat-phone. She high-fives a passing production assistant, then zooms in on a couple of models wearing 60s-retro psychedelic-patterned dresses. Henry is worried about her behavior, but she says she feels GREAT!! As he gets into an elevator full of people, she practically jumps on his head. Christina witnesses this last part and teases Betty about it. Betty puts Christina in an affectionate headlock and licks her face.
In the Dungeon, now cleared of its interlopers, Amanda, Fido, and Halston discuss the diary entries. Since the poisoned perfume made Claire crazy, the diary would exonerate her. Amanda wants to burn the pages instead, to protect Fey's reputation. Halston suddenly becomes agitated; Amanda tells Fido to burn them for her while she tends to the dog; she doesn't want Security to seize him again.
Next day, Betty sings off-key and dances to a KISS song. She swats her father affectionately and says she didn't sleep at all last night. Henry never called. But she feels great. Kind of itchy, with a dry mouth and no appetite for juevos rancheros. Whipped cream straight out of the can is more to her liking. She takes off for the office, scratching.
In court, the prosecuting attorney is discrediting Daniel's testimony and interrupting every time Daniel answers his somewhat leading questions. The Meades' lawyer objects, but the judge wants to hear more. The Meades' lawyer essentially gives up trying to assert his clients' rights. (Daniel does manage to say that Claire was seeing things and becoming paranoid just before Fey's death.)
Betty mopes at her desk, waiting for Henry to call. The perfume bottle sparkles temptingly. She takes another hit. She's becoming irritable. Gio comes back and apologizes for making fun of Henry and his love for egg salad, but Betty gets paranoid and misinterprets everything Gio says. She's convinced that Henry is fooling around with Charlie. She yells at Gio and sends him out. Her coworkers stare at her uncharacteristic outburst. She takes another hit of the perfume.
Wil and Fido admire Jackie Kennedy's dress, which Fido smuggled out of the Closet. Wil decides that they're going to have to make the dress "disappear" so that Christina will agree to carry the baby.
Amanda comes by to ask Betty for a donation from Petty Cash. Betty is ranting and raving about Henry's presumed perfidy, and mindlessly hands over the entire wad of cash. She gropes at some sparkly beads on Amanda's neckline and mops her own sweaty face with a scarf. Amanda tells Betty that she's sure Gio has a crush on her. Betty says that's too bad for him, because she's in love with Henry, who's perfect, that big stupid jerk! Another hit of perfume. She inhales deeply. Amanda asks about the perfume. Betty clutches the bottle possessively and says she's going to write a "strongly-worded note" warning Gio to leave her alone. Amanda eyes the perfume bottle enviously. (I seem to recall that when she wrote a "strongly-worded note" to Marc, she said something like "you stink.")
Betty rushes off to Gio's deli, muttering all the way. The door is locked. She flips out, yelling and screaming, and pitches a trashcan through the window.
At the hospital, she complains of a headache and sweating. She doesn't want Gio to call her family, but news gets around fast, and soon the whole gang is there.
Christina meets with a motivated buyer. She goes for the dress, but it (or perhaps a copy of it) has been ruined. The fabric is slashed all over, and there's a sad face spray-painted across it. Christina quickly figures out who's to blame and confronts Wil. Wil says Christina is the only person she can trust with her baby. (Wil hasn't told Christina that Bradford is the father - she claims it's an anonymous sperm donor.)
The doctor wants to speak privately with Betty. Ignacio assumes she's pregnant. The doctor says no, it looks more like drugs. Betty denies it. The doctor says either she's taking drugs, or someone's drugging her. She talks to Henry to let him know what's going on. Justin and Hilda make a thoroughly tacky, uncalled-for plug for Grey's Anatomy. The doctor comes back with the blood test results: she's got high levels of numerous toxins, including toad venom. It's almost out of her system now, but if she had too much she'd hallucinate, become paranoid, and die.
They wonder what she's been doing different lately. Finally, Betty realizes it's the perfume. She rushes back to the office, but the bottle is gone! (The stuff is $200/oz, and she leaves it out on her desk in plain sight?) She finds a sparkly bead at her desk and remembers Amanda's interest in the perfume. She confronts Amanda, saying that the perfume is evidence that Claire was insane. Amanda says it was her mother's first, and she gave it to Brad who gave it to Claire, as she read in Fey's diary. So the perfume is technically hers. (I hope Amanda never has to represent herself in court.) Betty is shocked to hear that Fey had a diary.
As far as Amanda's concerned, Claire killed Fey, so there's no reason to help her out. Betty appeals to Amanda's fondness for Daniel, saying he shouldn't be deprived of his own mother now as well. Just to be on the safe side, Betty reminds her that she (Betty) lost her mother also.
Soon, Betty is rushing the bottle and the blood test results to court. The Meades' lawyer calls Betty to the stand. She testifies about what happened to her after using the perfume for just two days, while Claire had been using it for six months. (I assume Claire used it much more sparingly than Betty did.) The prosecution asks Betty why Bradford would give his wife poisoned perfume. Betty tells all about the diary entry and how Fey gave it to Bradford to give to Claire, and Brad didn't know it was poisoned. The lawyer tries to discredit Betty based on her desire to help her employer. He claims that the perfume was tested. He guzzles some of it and pretends to choke. As Betty panics, he "recovers" and announces that it's tap water.
Betty doesn't understand. Just in case we're as dense as she is, we're shown Amanda gloating in the Dungeon with Fido as she admires the old perfume in a new bottle.
The lawyer continues to mock Betty, dabbing tap water behind his ears. The Meades don't blame Betty. Claire says it's time she got on the stand and told her side of the story.
Fido is refusing to destroy the perfume. He says he's doing more evil these days than he did when he actually worked there. Amanda just wants to dump the stuff in the river, but she insists that he has to go with her. Fido doesn't want to commit crimes that are just plain evil, without benefiting his career in some way. He asks why Amanda feels that Claire should have to "pay" when all she did was put on some perfume.
He shows Amanda the diary pages, which he had decided not to burn. He thinks the reason Amanda is trying to get him to destroy this evidence for her is because she can't bring herself to do it, because she knows that it's all really Fey's fault.
Amanda slaps him, then hugs him and thanks him.
Claire is giving her testimony. She talks about Bradford's open affair with an employee, Fey. (Betty's phone vibrates loudly; she leaves the courtroom to take the call.) Amanda is in the hallway with the perfume and the diary.
"I don't know what I would call my state of mind," Claire is saying in a frustrated voice as Betty returns to the courtroom with the real evidence. Two seconds later, the jury declares Claire Not Guilty By Reason of Temporary Insanity. The Meades collapse on one another with relief. The judge takes off her robe, revealing vacation clothes underneath, and takes off.
Back at the office, Claire leads the staff in a toast to Mode. Daniel thanks Betty for her help. Gio comes by to congratulate her. He forgives her for breaking his window, and gently mocks her "strongly worded note." The hug awkwardly. He watches as Betty and Claire exchange fond words.
Christina is at Wil's doctor's office, preparing for the insemination. (I'm confused. Why is she being inseminated? I thought we were using Wil's eggs? Ah, I see... they implant the egg first, then fertilize it... weird... I would have thought they'd do it in a dish.) Betty comes by and announces to Wil and Fido that she's going to be Christina's witness for the next nine months.
The egg gets fertilized. They all watch on the monitor as the the cells immediately begin to divide. (There's a gratuitous bubbling sound. I'm pretty sure there's no bubbling sound in real life.) Christina and Betty gape in fascination. Bored, Wil and Fido leave.
Next week
- Amanda meets with her maybe-father, Gene Simmons. (So much for IMDB and my hasty web search last week, where I couldn't find any information about him doing a Betty episode. I must have spelled his name wrong or something.)
- Daniel takes a shower.
- Henry and Gio face off. At this point, I'm not even sure which one I'd pick, so good luck to you, Betty.
2008-01-13
Celebrity Apprentice week 2, 1/10/08: Omarosa is still not fired
In Omarosa's defense, this time she wasn't in a position to be fired.
First, Stephen Baldwin presents his mother's breast cancer charity with a check for more than $69,000 - the money raised by both teams in the previous week's task. She's happy!
This week's task is to create an ad for Pedigree's pet adoption program. Trump tells the teams to pick their project managers on the spot. Empresario chooses Nely Galan, and Hydra chooses Gene Simmons.
Empresario goes right to Pedigree to ask them what kind of ad they want. They ask if they want a lot of celebrities in the ad, and they're told no - Pedigree wants the focus to be on the pets, and they want an ad that tells a story. Yep, this is all caught on video. Tell stories and focus on the animals. Galan & Co. go off with some unfamiliar actors and make an ad that tells stories about three different dogs, emphasizing that they're good dogs who were given up for a variety of reasons that weren't the dogs' fault.
The message is great, but the production values are terrible. One of the dogs is drooling (Galan doesn't think this is a problem), and some of the voiceovers are terrible. Meanwhile, five-time Olympic gold medalist Nadia Comaneci seems lost with even the small, random tasks she's been given; and Omarosa wisely stays out of the way.
They dress up in black and yellow (Pedigree colors) for their presentation to the Pedigree guy. Galan runs off at the mouth a bit and overwhelms the man with a number of things he didn't ask for, like radio ads and stuff for the website.
Things go quite differently for Hydra. Simmons feels they don't have time for an initial meeting with the Pedigree guy; instead he wants to get right to work. Baldwin begs to direct the ad; Simmons agrees. They all throw ideas around and quickly decide on a concept; in the middle of all this, Ivanka shows up. Simmons shakes her hand; she seems to struggle to pull out of his grasp and shakes her hand out afterwards. He tells Baldwin to continue what he was saying, because Ivanka can wait! Later, as Ivanka is leaving, Simmons asks if, being a woman and all, she's going to go and tell Empresario what his team has been up to!
They go on produce their ad. They put teammate Lennox Lewis, famous boxer, in it. They don't really tell a story; instead, they show a cute dog being ultra-cute with Lewis. There's an ill-fated effort to get a shot of Lewis walking the dog outside; they and thus-far unimpressive Sopranos star Vincent Pastore struggle to keep passersby out of the shot, but it doesn't work. Gawking passersby create a traffic jam. Simmons decides it isn't worth the trouble and sends them all back inside. Baldwin doesn't seem to understand why, but doesn't put up a big fight.
Simmons takes a few seconds out from being stressed-out to talk baby-talk to the dog. Country singer Trace Adkins, who earlier seemed miffed when Simmons dissed his idea, does a voiceover about how everyone needs a champion in their life; Simmons says it's like the "voice of God."
When taping is finished, Baldwin and Simmons send the rest of the team home to "watch cartoons" while they edit the footage. They refuse to discuss it at all. This offends several of the teammates, who come back later during the editing session; Baldwin chases them out.
When they do their presentation to Pedigree, the guy complains that they didn't meet with him before they started working on the ad. Simmons is short with the man and tells him to let the ad speak for itself.
In the boardroom, it's Trump, Ivanka, and some grey-haired guy that isn't Donald Jr. (henceforth "SGHGTIDJ"). Trump confronts Simmons about the way he spoke to Ivanka. Simmons takes off his sunglasses and gives what I would consider only a half-assed apology at best. Trump also takes Simmons to task for snubbing the Pedigree guy, not meeting with him beforehand, and being abrupt with him at the presentation. After watching the ads, SGHGTIDJ further says that Hydra should have put up a caption explaining who Lennox Lewis is, because not everyone would know. The men try to argue with him about this, but he shuts them down.
Omarosa says that she thinks Lewis is hot, but only as a brother because he's married. Ugh - I never thought I'd say this, but there are some people who shouldn't try to let their humanity show through, because it's just too jarring.
Having said all that, Hydra's ad is the clear winner, and Empresario must again defend themselves. SGHGTIDJ scolds them for not appearing in the ad themselves. No one from Empresario point out that the Pedigree guy seemed to discourage them from doing this. Trump specifically says that he hated the voiceovers, and asks who was in charge of those; it was Marilu Henner.
But instead of presenting Henner for firing, Galan chooses Carol Alt and Nadia Comaneci. (She admits that there's no reason for Alt to be there.) Everyone seems to agree that Comaneci seemed lost and didn't contribute much. Ivanka tells her that she should have asked how to make herself more useful. Comaneci admits that her best bet for showing leadership skills would have been some type of athletic activity.
Trump is disappointed in Galan, but fires Comaneci instead. He says she's definitely a champion, and a leader of herself, but she wouldn't be able to lead a team.
In the cab ride home, Comaneci reveals that her charity was the Special Olympics. Oh well.
First, Stephen Baldwin presents his mother's breast cancer charity with a check for more than $69,000 - the money raised by both teams in the previous week's task. She's happy!
This week's task is to create an ad for Pedigree's pet adoption program. Trump tells the teams to pick their project managers on the spot. Empresario chooses Nely Galan, and Hydra chooses Gene Simmons.
Empresario goes right to Pedigree to ask them what kind of ad they want. They ask if they want a lot of celebrities in the ad, and they're told no - Pedigree wants the focus to be on the pets, and they want an ad that tells a story. Yep, this is all caught on video. Tell stories and focus on the animals. Galan & Co. go off with some unfamiliar actors and make an ad that tells stories about three different dogs, emphasizing that they're good dogs who were given up for a variety of reasons that weren't the dogs' fault.
The message is great, but the production values are terrible. One of the dogs is drooling (Galan doesn't think this is a problem), and some of the voiceovers are terrible. Meanwhile, five-time Olympic gold medalist Nadia Comaneci seems lost with even the small, random tasks she's been given; and Omarosa wisely stays out of the way.
They dress up in black and yellow (Pedigree colors) for their presentation to the Pedigree guy. Galan runs off at the mouth a bit and overwhelms the man with a number of things he didn't ask for, like radio ads and stuff for the website.
Things go quite differently for Hydra. Simmons feels they don't have time for an initial meeting with the Pedigree guy; instead he wants to get right to work. Baldwin begs to direct the ad; Simmons agrees. They all throw ideas around and quickly decide on a concept; in the middle of all this, Ivanka shows up. Simmons shakes her hand; she seems to struggle to pull out of his grasp and shakes her hand out afterwards. He tells Baldwin to continue what he was saying, because Ivanka can wait! Later, as Ivanka is leaving, Simmons asks if, being a woman and all, she's going to go and tell Empresario what his team has been up to!
They go on produce their ad. They put teammate Lennox Lewis, famous boxer, in it. They don't really tell a story; instead, they show a cute dog being ultra-cute with Lewis. There's an ill-fated effort to get a shot of Lewis walking the dog outside; they and thus-far unimpressive Sopranos star Vincent Pastore struggle to keep passersby out of the shot, but it doesn't work. Gawking passersby create a traffic jam. Simmons decides it isn't worth the trouble and sends them all back inside. Baldwin doesn't seem to understand why, but doesn't put up a big fight.
Simmons takes a few seconds out from being stressed-out to talk baby-talk to the dog. Country singer Trace Adkins, who earlier seemed miffed when Simmons dissed his idea, does a voiceover about how everyone needs a champion in their life; Simmons says it's like the "voice of God."
When taping is finished, Baldwin and Simmons send the rest of the team home to "watch cartoons" while they edit the footage. They refuse to discuss it at all. This offends several of the teammates, who come back later during the editing session; Baldwin chases them out.
When they do their presentation to Pedigree, the guy complains that they didn't meet with him before they started working on the ad. Simmons is short with the man and tells him to let the ad speak for itself.
In the boardroom, it's Trump, Ivanka, and some grey-haired guy that isn't Donald Jr. (henceforth "SGHGTIDJ"). Trump confronts Simmons about the way he spoke to Ivanka. Simmons takes off his sunglasses and gives what I would consider only a half-assed apology at best. Trump also takes Simmons to task for snubbing the Pedigree guy, not meeting with him beforehand, and being abrupt with him at the presentation. After watching the ads, SGHGTIDJ further says that Hydra should have put up a caption explaining who Lennox Lewis is, because not everyone would know. The men try to argue with him about this, but he shuts them down.
Omarosa says that she thinks Lewis is hot, but only as a brother because he's married. Ugh - I never thought I'd say this, but there are some people who shouldn't try to let their humanity show through, because it's just too jarring.
Having said all that, Hydra's ad is the clear winner, and Empresario must again defend themselves. SGHGTIDJ scolds them for not appearing in the ad themselves. No one from Empresario point out that the Pedigree guy seemed to discourage them from doing this. Trump specifically says that he hated the voiceovers, and asks who was in charge of those; it was Marilu Henner.
But instead of presenting Henner for firing, Galan chooses Carol Alt and Nadia Comaneci. (She admits that there's no reason for Alt to be there.) Everyone seems to agree that Comaneci seemed lost and didn't contribute much. Ivanka tells her that she should have asked how to make herself more useful. Comaneci admits that her best bet for showing leadership skills would have been some type of athletic activity.
Trump is disappointed in Galan, but fires Comaneci instead. He says she's definitely a champion, and a leader of herself, but she wouldn't be able to lead a team.
In the cab ride home, Comaneci reveals that her charity was the Special Olympics. Oh well.
Celebrity Apprentice week 1, 1/3/08: Amazingly, Omarosa is not fired
I figure, what the heck: I'm watching it and it's funny, and I'm taking notes on it anyway for my own reference, so I'll do some quickie recaps.
As usual, for the first task, Trump splits the teams into men vs. women and has them do a street sales task: selling hot dogs out of a cart on the streets of New York.
Omarosa declares herself project manager, and the rest of the women agree. Nely Galan (high-ranking person at Telemundo) suggests the name "Empresario," and the team loves it. The one team member who knows NY well, supermodel Carol Alt, recommends that they put their cart near Penn Station. Everyone agrees to this too. Then a few of them start talking about ways they can leverage their celebrity to get big bucks for their dogs: Omarosa very emphatically shuts this conversation down and says that they are going to win on solid business skills.
It was caught on film, folks. Or videotape, whatever. Those are the words that came out of her mouth. She didn't want to go with the celebrity thing.
Omarosa then exchanged some bitchy words with former Playboy Centerfold of the Year, Tiffany something-or-other, who later confided to the rest of America that Omarosa's condescending attitude didn't make her want to try very hard. Yep, that was caught on film too.
The men agree to let Stephen Baldwin be their project manager. Gene Simmons, who is pretty much the star of this episode, suggests the name "Hydra" - the mythical seven-headed beast (like the team) whose heads grow back when you cut them off.
At some point, Ivanka shows up to see how they're doing, and Simmons hits on her. Yes, he hits on Donald Trump's daughter. (This scene was deleted in the original showing, but aired during an encore showing.)
The guys decide to put their cart near Rockefeller Center and discuss how much they should charge for the hot dogs. Baldwin is very skeptical that tourists will have $100 cash in their pockets, even to have their pictures taken with a celebrity for charity. Even as he's poo-pooing ideas about what people will pay around a celebrity, Simmons whips out his phone and starts calling people to ask them to come out and buy a $5,000 or $10,000 hot dog. At this point, Baldwin shuts his mouth and lets Gene do his thing. Within minutes, he's gotten around $20K worth of pledges.
The next day, Empresario is out on the street with their cart. Omarosa has decided to dress herself, a supermodel, two Olympic athletes, a centerfold, a beautiful actress, and a gorgeous Telemundo executive in jeans, frumpy t-shirts, and big red baseball caps that obscure half their faces. Sales are schlumpy through most of the day; the women seem timid about asking passersby to empty their wallets. Finally Marilu Henner decides to hell with it, she doesn't want to lose, so she gets on the blower and calls a rich friend. So does someone else, I forget who, who calls a pro baseball player. The baseball player shows up towards the end, makes a big donation, and says he wants to "treat" the crowd; so they give away the rest of the hot dogs, which in my mind defeats the purpose of a charity hot dog sale, but what the hell do I know.
Over by 30 Rock, hot dog sales are slow at first, but then the guys' friends start showing up: Tito Ortiz's girlfriend, Jenna Jameson (the last woman on earth you'd expect to have to pay for a hot dog) not only makes a nice donation, but attracts more passersby. At least one of Gene Simmons's friends shows up with a fat check.
The outcome: Empresario's grand total is less than $18K; Hydra's grand total is more than $52K. Trump asks Hydra who, in their opinion, was the weak link in Empresario. (I'm not sure how they would know this.) They name Omarosa. Omarosa - who had earlier made some very insulting remarks to Stephen Baldwin that didn't seem to have been provoked - now receives some equally insulting remarks from some English guy named Morgan (I have NO idea who he is - some judge on some reality show). This Morgan guy tends to bully people verbally in a very childish way; I'm looking forward to a showdown between him and Simmons.
In the boardroom, it's Trump, Ivanka, and Donald Jr. I assume that Donald Jr. says something at some point, but if so I don't remember what. They tell Empresario that their cart location was awful. Omarosa eagerly latches onto this and blames it on Alt, who vigorously defends herself. Alt and Galan blame their loss on Tiffany; I'm really not sure why. Maybe because she can't defend herself, and because she's just not a real asset to the team. Alt and Galan probably figure that they'll be able to get rid of Omarosa later. Well, good luck with that. Bitchy people are good for ratings, so I predict that Trump will keep her around for as long as possible.
Omarosa decides to nominate Alt and Tiffany for firing. Watching on closed-circuit TV, Simmons notes that Omarosa is like "a cocka-roach" - a survivor. And Tiffany is "not a mean chick." Trump asks Tiffany why she didn't call ol' Hef to buy a $100,000 hot dog.
Instead of pointing out that Omarosa discouraged them from using their contacts at the beginning and shut Tiffany down every time she tried to ask a question, not-mean Tiffany stupidly says that she was saving Hugh Hefner for a "bigger" task. Trump tells her that the current task is the only one that matters, since there might not be a later task. And Tiffany is fired!
In the cab ride home, she complains that she didn't get a chance to help her charity, which helps wounded veterans; but at least other charities will benefit.
As usual, for the first task, Trump splits the teams into men vs. women and has them do a street sales task: selling hot dogs out of a cart on the streets of New York.
Omarosa declares herself project manager, and the rest of the women agree. Nely Galan (high-ranking person at Telemundo) suggests the name "Empresario," and the team loves it. The one team member who knows NY well, supermodel Carol Alt, recommends that they put their cart near Penn Station. Everyone agrees to this too. Then a few of them start talking about ways they can leverage their celebrity to get big bucks for their dogs: Omarosa very emphatically shuts this conversation down and says that they are going to win on solid business skills.
It was caught on film, folks. Or videotape, whatever. Those are the words that came out of her mouth. She didn't want to go with the celebrity thing.
Omarosa then exchanged some bitchy words with former Playboy Centerfold of the Year, Tiffany something-or-other, who later confided to the rest of America that Omarosa's condescending attitude didn't make her want to try very hard. Yep, that was caught on film too.
The men agree to let Stephen Baldwin be their project manager. Gene Simmons, who is pretty much the star of this episode, suggests the name "Hydra" - the mythical seven-headed beast (like the team) whose heads grow back when you cut them off.
At some point, Ivanka shows up to see how they're doing, and Simmons hits on her. Yes, he hits on Donald Trump's daughter. (This scene was deleted in the original showing, but aired during an encore showing.)
The guys decide to put their cart near Rockefeller Center and discuss how much they should charge for the hot dogs. Baldwin is very skeptical that tourists will have $100 cash in their pockets, even to have their pictures taken with a celebrity for charity. Even as he's poo-pooing ideas about what people will pay around a celebrity, Simmons whips out his phone and starts calling people to ask them to come out and buy a $5,000 or $10,000 hot dog. At this point, Baldwin shuts his mouth and lets Gene do his thing. Within minutes, he's gotten around $20K worth of pledges.
The next day, Empresario is out on the street with their cart. Omarosa has decided to dress herself, a supermodel, two Olympic athletes, a centerfold, a beautiful actress, and a gorgeous Telemundo executive in jeans, frumpy t-shirts, and big red baseball caps that obscure half their faces. Sales are schlumpy through most of the day; the women seem timid about asking passersby to empty their wallets. Finally Marilu Henner decides to hell with it, she doesn't want to lose, so she gets on the blower and calls a rich friend. So does someone else, I forget who, who calls a pro baseball player. The baseball player shows up towards the end, makes a big donation, and says he wants to "treat" the crowd; so they give away the rest of the hot dogs, which in my mind defeats the purpose of a charity hot dog sale, but what the hell do I know.
Over by 30 Rock, hot dog sales are slow at first, but then the guys' friends start showing up: Tito Ortiz's girlfriend, Jenna Jameson (the last woman on earth you'd expect to have to pay for a hot dog) not only makes a nice donation, but attracts more passersby. At least one of Gene Simmons's friends shows up with a fat check.
The outcome: Empresario's grand total is less than $18K; Hydra's grand total is more than $52K. Trump asks Hydra who, in their opinion, was the weak link in Empresario. (I'm not sure how they would know this.) They name Omarosa. Omarosa - who had earlier made some very insulting remarks to Stephen Baldwin that didn't seem to have been provoked - now receives some equally insulting remarks from some English guy named Morgan (I have NO idea who he is - some judge on some reality show). This Morgan guy tends to bully people verbally in a very childish way; I'm looking forward to a showdown between him and Simmons.
In the boardroom, it's Trump, Ivanka, and Donald Jr. I assume that Donald Jr. says something at some point, but if so I don't remember what. They tell Empresario that their cart location was awful. Omarosa eagerly latches onto this and blames it on Alt, who vigorously defends herself. Alt and Galan blame their loss on Tiffany; I'm really not sure why. Maybe because she can't defend herself, and because she's just not a real asset to the team. Alt and Galan probably figure that they'll be able to get rid of Omarosa later. Well, good luck with that. Bitchy people are good for ratings, so I predict that Trump will keep her around for as long as possible.
Omarosa decides to nominate Alt and Tiffany for firing. Watching on closed-circuit TV, Simmons notes that Omarosa is like "a cocka-roach" - a survivor. And Tiffany is "not a mean chick." Trump asks Tiffany why she didn't call ol' Hef to buy a $100,000 hot dog.
Instead of pointing out that Omarosa discouraged them from using their contacts at the beginning and shut Tiffany down every time she tried to ask a question, not-mean Tiffany stupidly says that she was saving Hugh Hefner for a "bigger" task. Trump tells her that the current task is the only one that matters, since there might not be a later task. And Tiffany is fired!
In the cab ride home, she complains that she didn't get a chance to help her charity, which helps wounded veterans; but at least other charities will benefit.
2008-01-11
Jan. 10, 2008 (2.11, aka #34): My Big Fat Fashion Show
I know this recap is short, but all the important stuff's in here. It's unlikely that I'll expand it, because I hated the episode so much.
It's Fashion Week at Mode. Betty leads Justin's class on a tour of the magazine. On seeing the razor-thin models, Justin's female classmates vow not to eat their lunches. Upset, Betty asks Daniel to consider using "normal"-sized women in the magazine. Daniel pitches the idea to Alexis, who turns the idea down. They work out a compromise: they rig a scale to add 20 pounds to everything, then hold a press conference where they weigh all the skinny models to "prove" that they're heavier. Justin and Betty quickly figure out what's happening. Betty confronts Alexis, who tells Betty that it was Daniel's idea. Betty then confronts Daniel, who decides to plan an "alternate" fashion show after the real one, behind Alexis's back. The alt fashion show is a huge success; Alexis takes credit for it. The snottier girls in Justin's class aren't impressed by the "fat" models, but some of the other kids are.
Fido takes Amanda to a psychic to find out who her father is. Amanda seems to give the psychic some of the answers, but she does make one interesting prediction: Amanda will rescue a dog. Not her mother's dog Halston, who she's already rescued, but some other dog - a black dog. Later, Betty gets stuck in an elevator with rap singer Bow Wow (formerly known as 'Lil Bow Wow), and Amanda "rescues" them. Having rescued a black man with a doggie name, Amanda goes back to the psychic for more info. The psychic tells Amanda that a bee will lead her to a kiss, and the kiss will lead her to her father.
In the midst of insulting Betty about something, Amanda notices Betty's big "B" necklace and makes the connection. She tries to get Betty to kiss her. They (sort-of) bond over being motherless. Betty is sympathetic about Amanda's wish to find her father, but refuses to kiss her. But she finds a photo on the floor - it's a picture of Gene Simmons, of KISS!
(I don't think Gene Simmons has done an Ugly Betty taping yet, but maybe it was just delayed because of the writers' strike. Maybe Gene isn't Amanda's dad, but does know who he is. Or maybe the psychic's just wrong!)
Meanwhile, Wil has been getting fertility shots, which make her hungry and emotional. Her doctor extracts the eggs, to be fertilized by the spermsicle that was recovered from Brad's corpse. Wil is upset to hear that she won't be able to carry the baby herself; she'll need to find a surrogate. She needs to find someone who's young, sturdy, easily controlled, and in need of money. She chooses her pedicurist, Brandi. Before the procedure can take place, Marc sees Brandi on the cover of a porno DVD. (Actually, the cover artwork on an adult film often has little to do with the movie; sometimes there are people on the cover who aren't even in the movie.) For some reason, this disqualifies Brandi; Marc suggests using Christina instead. She needs a lot of money quickly, to pay for her husband's medical treatments, because her insurance won't pay.
It's Fashion Week at Mode. Betty leads Justin's class on a tour of the magazine. On seeing the razor-thin models, Justin's female classmates vow not to eat their lunches. Upset, Betty asks Daniel to consider using "normal"-sized women in the magazine. Daniel pitches the idea to Alexis, who turns the idea down. They work out a compromise: they rig a scale to add 20 pounds to everything, then hold a press conference where they weigh all the skinny models to "prove" that they're heavier. Justin and Betty quickly figure out what's happening. Betty confronts Alexis, who tells Betty that it was Daniel's idea. Betty then confronts Daniel, who decides to plan an "alternate" fashion show after the real one, behind Alexis's back. The alt fashion show is a huge success; Alexis takes credit for it. The snottier girls in Justin's class aren't impressed by the "fat" models, but some of the other kids are.
Fido takes Amanda to a psychic to find out who her father is. Amanda seems to give the psychic some of the answers, but she does make one interesting prediction: Amanda will rescue a dog. Not her mother's dog Halston, who she's already rescued, but some other dog - a black dog. Later, Betty gets stuck in an elevator with rap singer Bow Wow (formerly known as 'Lil Bow Wow), and Amanda "rescues" them. Having rescued a black man with a doggie name, Amanda goes back to the psychic for more info. The psychic tells Amanda that a bee will lead her to a kiss, and the kiss will lead her to her father.
In the midst of insulting Betty about something, Amanda notices Betty's big "B" necklace and makes the connection. She tries to get Betty to kiss her. They (sort-of) bond over being motherless. Betty is sympathetic about Amanda's wish to find her father, but refuses to kiss her. But she finds a photo on the floor - it's a picture of Gene Simmons, of KISS!
(I don't think Gene Simmons has done an Ugly Betty taping yet, but maybe it was just delayed because of the writers' strike. Maybe Gene isn't Amanda's dad, but does know who he is. Or maybe the psychic's just wrong!)
Meanwhile, Wil has been getting fertility shots, which make her hungry and emotional. Her doctor extracts the eggs, to be fertilized by the spermsicle that was recovered from Brad's corpse. Wil is upset to hear that she won't be able to carry the baby herself; she'll need to find a surrogate. She needs to find someone who's young, sturdy, easily controlled, and in need of money. She chooses her pedicurist, Brandi. Before the procedure can take place, Marc sees Brandi on the cover of a porno DVD. (Actually, the cover artwork on an adult film often has little to do with the movie; sometimes there are people on the cover who aren't even in the movie.) For some reason, this disqualifies Brandi; Marc suggests using Christina instead. She needs a lot of money quickly, to pay for her husband's medical treatments, because her insurance won't pay.
2008-01-03
Rerun tonight, but a new one next week!
Finally! The Betty deprivation ends next week, 1/10, with a new episode.
I think there's only one or two more new ones after that, but any new Betty is better than none at all!
I think there's only one or two more new ones after that, but any new Betty is better than none at all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
