Celebrity Apprentice week 9, 2/28/08: Don't wash your mouth out with soap...

...rub yogurt all over your body instead.

The task is to create a four-page Dial Nourishing Yogurt Body Wash (sounds gross!) photo ad for Redbook. Dial wants an ad that reflects cleanliness, health, honesty, and family.

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Empresario: Tito Ortiz (PM), Trace Adkins, Stephen Baldwin, Omarosa

At first, Omarosa wants to be PM. Then Trump says the PM who loses will probably get fired. Suddenly, Omarosa has lots of reasons why Ortiz should take the job instead!

At the client meeting, the Redbook lady says that Adkins is perfect for their demographic. The team decides that the ad should be "sexy." They go with a cowboy/cowgirl motif - but mostly cowgirls. The photos depict a dry desert to contrast with the moisturizing yogurt wash (yecch).

Omarosa points out that most of Redbook's readers are women. She wants Adkins to pose with two other men, and no shirt. He hates the idea, but goes along with it. This cheers her up considerably. However, Ortiz refuses to use this photo in the ad. Omarosa assures him that the readers won't be interested in the pretty young cowgirl, but he doesn't care. Baldwin reminds him of Dial's key values (including "family") and says that if the other team follows those and wins, they're screwed.

Omarosa's part of the presentation to the execs is very professional - her delivery isn't perfect, but her text sounds like it could be the voiceover on a TV ad. Ortiz's part of the pitch is awkward and awful.

Afterwards, one of the execs tells Trump she preferred the photos in this one, but they don't all agree on the effectiveness of the "message."

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Hydra: Carol Alt (PM), Lennox Lewis, Piers Morgan

In her meeting with Redbook, Alt confirms that Redbook's average reader is 37. This helps the team target their ad.

The team comes up with an idea to have the pages represent different aspects of a woman's life: motherhood, a looong (two-page) bath, and sex. At first, they choose young models, which conflicts with the demographic they've been told to target; Alt isn't sure she wants to model ("too many hats," she says, since she's already the project manager), but she finally gives in and does the shoot (after all, it'd be too ironic if she got fired because they hated the model!).

Lewis oversees the photo shoot... it's another behind-the-scenes showbiz task for him, and he's good at it. Despite all the hype for this episode, the "sexy" photo doesn't seem outrageous compared to other soap ads. On the other hand, they wonder if it might be too much for the Dial people: the male actor is playfully biting Alt's shoulder.

Morgan's presentation to the executives is long-winded and pompous, as usual. Afterwards, the execs tell Trump they mostly like the ad, which has a nice warm and sensuous air, but they're uncomfortable with the biting.

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In the boardroom

Trump, flanked by eyes and ears George and Ivanka, comments that Ortiz seems nervous - ironic given his adventures in the ring. He also reminds Alt that he warned her not to be PM.

The two teams critique one anothers' ads. Morgan trashes every aspect of Empresario's ad. Baldwin teases Morgan and says he should wear glasses. Adkins is much more generous in his comments about Hydra's ad.

Hydra wins, with $20,000 going to Alt's brother's scholarship foundation. The victors retire to their suite. Almost immediately, Trump lambastes Omarosa for not being the PM - especially since she's already lost twice in that role. (Up in the suite, Morgan crows copiously over the Omarosa-abuse. Remind me never to watch TV with this guy. I don't know how Alt and Lewis are supposed to be able to hear what's going on.)

Omarosa explains that she tried to tell Ortiz about Redbook's readers. She says that Baldwin was picking up Ortiz's slack. Trump asks Adkins what he thinks; Adkins says Omarosa made good suggestions that Ortiz ignored in favor of Baldwin's. They discuss how overbearing Baldwin is.

Omarosa describes some of the photos she suggested that were taken, but not used. Ortiz blames their non-use on Baldwin. Omarosa says Ortiz should be fired. Trump wonders why Baldwin shouldn't be fired since he was so bossy about the photos. Omarosa hammers home the point that it's a magazine for WOMEN.

Trump asks Ortiz who he'd send back to the suite if he had the option (he actually doesn't). He says Omarosa worked the hardest. With very little more conversation, Trump fires Ortiz - but also makes a personal contribution of $50,000 to Ortiz's charity, the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.