"Business is always personal," said Omarosa at one point during episode 5. She was (perhaps unwittingly) quoting noted fictitious jackass Michael Scott. That philosophy made more sense in The Office, when Michael used a personal touch to clinch a big sale. Omarosa's behavior in this episode could be described as personal, but not as business.
The men wait up in the suite for the women to come back, discussing Omarosa's incompetence and chuckling in anticipation of hearing that she has finally been fired. She and Marilu Henner return to the suite without Nely Galán; Omarosa gloats. Piers Morgan says he'd rather shoot himself or be fired than have to work with her.
But then they are called to the boardroom. Trump tells them not to sit down just yet; he's going to mix up the teams. To his right, he assembles the new Empresario: Henner, plus Tito Ortiz, Trace Adkins, and Stephen Baldwin. To his left is the new Hydra: Carol Alt, Lennox Lewis, Omarosa... and Morgan, who looks thoroughly nauseated.
The task is to sell horse and carriage rides in Central Park. Headed by Adkins, the Empresario teammates immediately start making calls to get friends to commit to expensive buggy rides. Over at Hydra, Omarosa and Morgan make peace; Morgan tells the team to just concentrate on making money.
But Omarosa, not being a real celebrity, has no deep-pocketed contacts - or at least none who are willing to help her. She and Morgan begin bickering again. Not in a cute or clever way, either; there aren't any zingers. It's purely childish comments. Nevertheless, Omarosa is smug about it later; she thinks she's really given it to Morgan good. The truth is that they've both made themselves look foolish.
It gets worse when he discovers that she has spelled his name wrong on a promotional flier. The insults escalate (or descalate) to Omarosa making comments about his wife and children. Lewis is disgusted with both of them.
Henner is in a better mood and feels that the much more harmonious atmosphere of the New Improved Empresario will mean a win. Unfortunately, the two teams end up working out of the same area of the park. Tension escalates for Hydra, while the entire Empresario team goes right to work.
Omarosa and Morgan begin fighting again, more bitterly (and artlessly) than ever. For the sake of the team, Morgan fires Omarosa. She, who complained strenuously during the first season about Heidi's "F-bombs," drops an F-bomb of her own onto Morgan in front of prospective customers. Classy! She tells Morgan she's been fired by better people, and I have no doubt that she's been fired lots of times, by many people of varying quality. She also threatens to punch him.
Alt urges them to act as a team and keep working, while Lewis reminds them that they're supposed to be raising money for charity. Morgan says he doesn't want Omarosa handling money. Lewis asks him how he's going to work it out. Morgan says to Lewis, "you tell me." Inspiring words from a project manager!
Another Baldwin brother, Billy, shows up. He and Henner troll the crowd, looking for fares. Henner notices that Hydra's carriages aren't moving - it turns out that Morgan's holding them back and turning down fares just in case his rich friends show up. He specifically tells Omarosa to stop selling. "Your children are so disappointed in you," she replies. She makes more remarks about his children. Lennox tells them not to do this in front of everyone, and says it's "very ghetto." The crowd stares at them as they continue exchanging hateful, yet lame barbs.
George is impressed that Empresario is still working harmoniously, and their carriages are constantly on the move. Ortiz's sweetie, Jenna Jameson, shows up for a $1,000 ride, during which she asks what park they're in! Meanwhile, Omarosa proudly tells Ivanka she's been fired, but she won't quit. Morgan complains openly in front of Ivanka and calls Omarosa a "disgusting piece of slime." (I told you their insults were artless.) Ivanka notes that Lewis is the peacemaker. Morgan asks her to tell her father about it; Ivanka says she's sure Morgan will tell Trump himself!
Adkins, the Empresario manager, complains only that his horses are too slow. Henner continues to be impressed with him. Country music singer John Rich comes by for a ride. Just in case you hadn't been keeping track, Empresario has now had three star fares, while Hydra has had none that we know of.
Morgan finally gets worried about his lack of fares, which was a natural result of holding back carriages. He also complains that Omarosa - whom he fired, and told not to sell - did not raise any money.
At this point, I'm drooling over the prospect that Trump might fire both of them, since it's obvious that Hydra is going to lose.
Omarosa continues to be cocky, asking Morgan if another man is raising his children. Alt is waiting for a last-minute pledge to arrive from New Jersey, even though quittin' time is only 20 minutes away.
Predictably, the two vipers commence trashing one another anew in the boardroom. I feel like I'm watching Springer. Baldwin comments that Morgan sounds this week the way Baldwin felt the previous week about having to work with Morgan, so he's somewhat sympathetic. Omarosa lies and says she never said anything about Morgan's children.
Adkins reports that his team had a much better day, and can't single out a specific "star." Trump and his daughter are somewhat disappointed to say that, while Empresario raised a hefty $29,673, Hydra beat them with a total haul of $35,184.
What this means is that there was some very tricky, very misleading editing in which we never got to see Hydra selling any rides, and we never saw their pledges show up for their buggy rides. I'm disgusted that the show has stooped so low, but I am not surprised. (I bet Morgan's kids are disappointed too.)
Morgan wins nearly $65,000 for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes fund, which benefits the bereaved families of US soldiers, and neither he nor Omarosa will be fired tonight; but Trump says that he's going to transfer Omarosa back to Empresario.
Up in the suite, Morgan is so angry about Omarosa, he can't enjoy the victory he's earned for his charity. Lewis is bummed out by the lack of enthusiasm.
In the boardroom, all of the Empresario teammates are unable and unwilling to identify anyone as the weak link that caused their loss. Trump asks if anyone's willing to resign; the answer is no. Trump says "I wish I could fire you-know-who." He says it's all about charity, and he's feeling charitable, so nobody's fired, for the first time ever on The Apprentice. And Marilu will go to Hydra next week.
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