Don admires a blue Cadillac. The dealer tries to snow Don into buying it. When he realizes that Don was sent by Roger, he goes for the keys.
Flashback: The new Don Draper is selling a used car to a kid named Charlie. The kid's not sure if he wants it. Don nudges, but doesn't push. A woman comes to see him, so he lets the boy talk to his father.
The woman is from the real Donald Draper's past, and she knows that's not him.
Shaken by the memory, Don turns down the salesman's offer of a test drive and leaves.
In the office, Roger flirts with Jane. She cuts him off. Don comes in. Jane says Mrs. Barrett called. Roger tells her to get Duck.
Roger thinks Don should be hot for Jane. He tries to cheer Don up about the incredibly high price tag ($6,500!!!) of the Cadillac.
Duck shows up. Their coffee client has some kind of problem and Duck had to spend Saturday birdwatching with one of their guys to keep him happy. Our long-lost young friends Kurt and Smitty show up (after attempting, unsuccessfully, to flirt with Jane) to give their youthful perspectives. Smitty quotes a poetic statement from a 60-page manifesto written by a friend in school - his "focus group." He's a member of SLS. Kurt makes a nonsensical comment. Don really doesn't see where this is going, but braces himself for their pitch.
Meanwhile, the rest of the madmen watch as Paul pours coffee into a disposable diaper next to a naked baby doll. (When you think about it, it's a good thing they used blue liquid for color broadcasts.) They want to send this setup to every maternity nurse. Don has already weighed in on this - the price is going to be a problem. Sal thinks that at 10 cents apiece, they should be reusable. Jane comes in with some other notes from Don. Ken beams at her. They ask Jane to clean up the diapers.
Harry boasts that he's going to meet with Cooper tomorrow. Sal says it's to ask his opinion of a painting. Ken jokes to Jane about how gullible Harry is. Harry is bummed because he was hoping Cooper would expand the TV department, which currently consists only of him. Jane tells him to go see the painting now - Cooper has left for the day. She thinks they should all sneak up for a look. In any case, she's going. Ken, Paul, Sal, and Harry eagerly follow.
Cooper's secretary is missing, and his door is open. The guys are scared, but Jane is fearless. They do, however, remove their shoes. Paul chickens out and leaves.
The rest of them gaze at a $10,000 blur in red. Sal recognizes the work of Mark Rothko. Jane shrugs at it and wanders aimlessly around the office. Harry nervously tries to anticipate the kind of reaction Cooper will want. He searches Cooper's office (!!) for an explanatory brochure. Sal doesn't think Cooper really understands it. He tries to figure out what the painting "means." Ken says it makes him feel something very deep. Ken's spontaneous reaction takes Sal by surprise.
They get their things and leave. Jane jokes that they could have stolen it. Ken considers writing a story about the experience. (He makes sure to tell Jane that he's been published.) Feigning confusion, Jane refers to him as an "accountant." Sal openly admires Ken's skill as an author.
Next day, Ken wants to tell Paul all about how exciting Jane is. Paul would rather hear about the painting. Joan overhears - Ken flees. She tells Paul she "heard" that he, Ken, and Jane were in Cooper's office. Although she's obviously bluffing, Paul confirms enough of her suspicions by saying that he had nothing to do with it. "Nothing happened," he adds hastily.
Kurt and Smitty are telling Sal that they don't need artwork for their pitch to Martinson's Coffee at 3. Don signed off on it.
Ken approaches Sal, remembering his kind words about his writing, and says "you're not like everyone else around here." Sal denies this. Ken asks him to beta-read his new story. Sal invites him over for dinner on Sunday.
Don begins the coffee meeting with a short preamble about the importance of using young people to reach a young audience. Smitty pitches his anti-authority, anti-establishment message. Martinson's coffee is delicious, hot, and brown. They play a song about sexy naked Mexican girls with coffee. The client asks Peggy's opinion. "It stays with you." Client asks about the visuals. "If you sign, we'll tell you," Don says.
Harry goes to Cooper's office for his meeting. It is, as he had hoped, about his TV gig, but Harry keeps looking at the painting. Cooper scolds him for not paying attention. Harry pretends to recognize it as a Rothko work, and asks Cooper's opinion. Surprised, Cooper replies "it's none of your business." Then he asks Harry what he thinks of it. Harry admits he knows nothing about art. Cooper tells him not to worry about it, and focus on the numbers instead.
But Cooper himself is stuck on the painting - because of the numbers. He expects it will double in value by Christmas.
Jimmy Barrett calls Betty at home. He tells her that "Grin & Barrett" got picked up. He tells Betty to book Don's "dance card" for the night of the party. He begs Betty to go to the party. He flirts with her, then tries a more sincere approach and makes it personal. Betty promises nothing, but says "we will try."
Martinson's really liked Kurt & Smitty's pitch. Don congratulates Duck. Duck is hoping to get a shot at Life Savers next.
Jane reports that Cooper asked for Don. Duck isn't invited.
Roger is there. Jim Van Dyke, of Martinson's Coffee, wants Don to be a board member of a museum that doesn't exist yet - the Museum of Early American Folk Art. Philanthropy is the gateway to power (says Cooper, the Ayn Rand fan), and Don will be wearing his tuxedo more often. (I don't know whether "tuxedo" was still considered gauche in 1962, but for a long time, "dinner jacket" was the preferred term.) He sends Roger out and tells Don he's made the big, big time.
Don goes back to the dealership and sits in the Cadillac. He still doesn't want a test drive. He wants to buy it.
Joan calls Jane on her unauthorized visit to Cooper's office. Jane blames it on "them." Joan doesn't buy it. Jane is cocky; she's a whole 20 years old and asks if Joan is the only person who gets to have fun. Joan tells Jane to pack up and leave.
Betty is delighted with the Cadillac. It has a headlight sensor that dims the lights when another car approaches. (What the hell? 46 years later, why doesn't my car - a Toyota with a darkness sensor that turns the headlights on automatically - have this?) Betty tells Don about Jimmy's party.
The car makes Betty horny. They have an hour before the kids come home. "Not in here," Don says.
Jane takes her boxful of things to Roger's office "to say goodbye." He is confused. She tells him Joan fired her. He offers her a drink and says Joan's "going through a tough time." Roger is kind to Jane, who finally reveals that she lives on Jane St. in Greenwich Village (he's asked her before where she lives), and tells her to come back on Monday.
It must be Sunday now, because Ken goes to Sal & Kitty's for wine and spaghetti. It turns out that Kitty grew up in Sal's old neighborhood in Baltimore.
Ken is awed by Sal's sauce. Ken begs for Sal's opinion of his story, "The Gold Violin." Kitty hasn't read it yet. Sal was awed by it. Ken is awed by Sal's acclaim.
The Cadillac has taken Don, Betty, and the kids on a picnic. Bobby has to pee. Don sends him behind a tree. Sally wants to too. Don thinks everyone should before they get back in the car. Now Sally doesn't have to.
Don says that when he was a kid, they had to feel their way to the outhouse on a rope on moonless night. Sally asks if they're rich. Betty thinks talking about money isn't polite. Bobby is proud of himself for having tinkled outdoors successfully. Don hurls his beer can, hopefully into a wastebasket, but who knows.
Sal and Ken finish the wine and talk about work. (They wonder what Harry's meeting with Cooper was about, and if Coop's going to meet with everyone.) Kitty keeps trying to get into the conversation, but Sal changes the subject back to Ken every time.
He asks Ken why he doesn't write for a living. Ken says it's just for fun. This amazes Sal. Ken volunteers to leave. Sal says "you can't" and offers him a cigarette and coffee. Ken begs off with a to-go dessert and kisses Kitty goodbye on the cheek.
Sal turns down Kitty's offer for pie and says he'll clean up. Kitty is upset that she feels awkward and left out around Sal's coworkers. He apologizes. She has been feeling like a social dud and thinks he ignores her. He apologizes again, profusely, and tells her to sit down and relax with some pie while he cleans up. He does seem sorry.
He picks up the cigarette lighter (is it Ken's?) and puts it in his pocket.
Jane shows up to work on Monday. Ken tries to lure her on a date to a Mets game. She blows him off. Ken tells Sal he'd like to call Kitty to thank her for her hospitality. He admits to Sal that a visit like that makes him regret being a bachelor.
Joan goes to Jane's desk to confront her. Jane asks if Roger spoke to her. She says Roger said that Joan loses her temper a lot, and it's not serious. Joan is angry with Jane for speaking to "Mr. Sterling." Jane says she simply "ran into him" on her way out. Joan is very cold, and her tone makes it clear that she thinks Jane is having a thing with Roger.
Don and Betty go to Jimmy's party. Bobbie greets Betty first, then Don. Don wants to get out of there to "get drinks." Unfortunately Betty volunteers, leaving Don with Bobbie. Her idea is basically a scheme to get Jimmy a Rolex. The guy from ABC is okay with this as long as they kill Candid Camera in the ratings.
Jimmy corners Betty, who is relieved to have someone to talk to. He offers her a drink; she says she's too drunk, but Jimmy jokes that a drink for her will make him funny. ABC's research proved it.
He pulls her aside for a chat. He praises Betty lavishly and flirts mercilessly. He notes how Don and Bobbie and the ABC guy are looking cozy. He cannot shut up about how hot Betty is and asks how much she thinks has happened between Don and Bobbie. Betty is offended. Jimmy doesn't back down. Betty says, "you people are ugly and crude." He asks, "what people? You mean comedians?"
Sal and Kitty sit in opposite corners of their living room in the dark, watching TV. She does embroidery, he lights a cigarette with that lighter that I guess must be Ken's because he gives it a special look. (Are we headed for a love triangle from hell? I hope so! Um, I mean I hope not! I don't know if I can take the angst!)
Jimmy approaches Don and thanks him for getting him the show and everything he wants. He says not too many people get that. As for Bobbie, he says, "lots of people have had that."
Whee! Video!
Of course Don denies everything with a straight face. Jimmy calls Don garbage for screwing Bobbie and recommends that he go to a whore instead. Betty shows up, and Jimmy bids them a cheery good-night.
Don and Betty drive home in his luscious Cadillac in dreadful silence... until Betty starts barfing. In the Cadillac.
Closing music: "Break It to Me Gently" (Brenda Lee)
Quote of the week: "Young people do not drink coffee, and that can become a lifetime habit." (Don Draper)
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