Saturday morning.
Betty has an exhausting workout with her horse. Don is still lounging in bed when she gets home. She is feeling some stress about a party next week. An electrical outlet in the dining room needs to be replaced. He wants an electrician to do it; he joking suggests that Betty could do it (Betty is in no humor); finally he promises to do it.
Peggy arrives at Anita's with colored pencils for the boys and a Horatio Hornblower book for Gerry, who is in bed with a bad back again. (He had been hoping she'd find him a sequel to Moby Dick.) Anita says he cried at the chiropractor, so I guess he's hurtin' for real.
Father Gill drops in to see Gerry. He and Peggy make awkward small talk. He wants her to be more "involved" - he asks her to help with publicity for the CYO dance. The promotion for last year's event was a dud. The committee really wants kids to show up for this one.
Suddenly, it's Monday. Duck tells Harry that he now costs more than he makes. A Russian "agitator" scene in a TV movie led into a washing machine commercial spotlighting its special "agitator" - the client is mad and doesn't want to pay. Henry needs to read all the scripts to avoid this kinds of conflicts. The mad men aren't particularly supportive or sympathetic.
New client: Heineken. Duck warns Don that they want to compete in bars. Don thinks that a foreign beer will appeal to housewives and the home market. As a test, they should put it in some grocery stores in affluent areas and see what happens. Pete agrees. Duck's skeptical and warns that Heineken still needs to be convinced.
Duck says he's not sure he can make Don's party. Don says the party is more Roger's idea, because he wants them to meet with Crab Colson (the guy from the country club two weeks ago who was building a bomb shelter). Pete is curious, but they do not elaborate.
Meanwhile, back in the 'burbs, Betty gets annoyed with a wobbly formal dining room chair and smashes it up. The kids turn their attention from The Three Stooges to watch.
Harry asks Roger about expanding the TV department. There should be someone who reads the scripts full time. Roger turns him down. Harry thinks some accountant named Mitch is out to get him.
Fr. Gill calls Peggy. (Peggy answers her phone as Peggy's secretary, then waits and answers as herself.) There's a problem with the flyer for the dance. "A Night to Remember" is too sexy ("it sends the wrong message to the girls"). Peggy thinks she knows better, so he asks her to speak to "them" so they won't feel left out.
Roger has told Joan that Harry needs a "girl" to help with the work. This isn't what Harry had in mind, but Joan thinks it's interesting and takes the scripts home. Harry's officemate Warren is totally in love with her.
It's already the night of the party. Roger and Mona are there, and Crab Cowan and wife Petra are there. Sally is dancing for them.
Duck shows up, late and dateless, but with flowers. Don introduces the kids and sends them to bed. He asks for tomato juice instead of a cocktail. Roger gets a big kick out of introducing the Crab to the Duck. The Cowans and Sterlings commiserate about the high cost of boat ownership, and Crab tries to get Don to join the country club.
It's time to eat. Roger confides to Don that he likes Crab. Petra bounces drunkenly off the doorframe, so you know she'll fit right in with this gang too.
Betty introduces the dinner, which is a culinary trip around the world. The drink choices are burgundy from France, or beer from Holland. Duck thinks Don bought it. Don pleads innocent. Betty has no idea what they're talking about, and she's not amused by the explanation when everyone laughs at how brilliant Don was when he predicted that housewives would buy Heineken.
Petra begs to sit down. Mona asks for wine right away. Duck sips water.
Peggy explains "A Night to Remember" to the committee. It's about hand-holding that will someday lead to marriage. The ladies are very concerned about the drawing, too, because the kids are dancing too close together. (Honestly, I'm not sure why they even want this dance to take place.) Even though their last dance had very poor attendance, they aren't willing to consider new ideas. Peggy ends the meeting with "I'll see what I can do." She's annoyed with Fr. Gill for not making it clear that they should respect her expertise. (Imagine if Duck or Don went into a meeting with that attitude!)
Joan's Dr. Boyfriend comes home and complains that she didn't set the table yet. She asks him questions about comas based on what she's read in scripts for As the World Turns. He thinks she should be watching the shows with bonbons in her lap, not reading them. He sends her to the kitchen to fetch him some water.
Betty sends Carla home after the party. Carla congratulates her on a successful party. Betty snaps off the TV and confronts Don for embarrassing her about the beer. Yes, she's angry that he knows her so well. He knows everything about her. And then they all laughed, like they were all in on a joke about her. She was embarrassed. He says he didn't mean it. He assures her that no one will remember that, and that she's making too much of a big deal of this.
She tells him she knows about him and Bobbie. He is shocked.
"How could you? She's so old!"
She says Jimmy told her everything. He tries to find out how much she knows, but she won't tell him. He won't admit to anything, but he doesn't explicitly deny it either. Instead, he says things like "you think I would sleep with that woman?" She accuses him of lying. He goes to bed. Betty spends the night in Sally's bed. She's still wearing her party dress at the breakfast table the next morning.
Harry introduces Joan to two representatives from Maytag. They love Joan. Everything's been smoothed over.
Betty's still wearing the dress. She's drinking - it's very early in the day - and going through all of Don's things, looking for evidence. First the clothes in his closet, all of the pockets, then his desk, every note-on-a-napkin. There are old valentines from Sally, his "What do women want?" riddle for deodorant, but none of what Betty is looking for.
It's 11 AM and time for the Heineken meeting. Pete says people are drinking more at home. Heineken still isn't interested in this market. Don says their test in supermarkets did very well. He grimaces as Duck talks about the incident at the party. "It sounds like you do know your wife," the Heineken guy says. Duck describes her as the perfect wife. They could even use her menu in their ads in ladies' magazines. The Heineken guys are impressed by the potential, and agree to a regional campaign. ("Why would I lie?" Don asks ironically.)
Joan and Harry meet with some client to make recommendations based on the scripts Joan has read. She's excited about the upcoming coma storyline, which will be a blockbuster, and has done some additional homework to discover that there will be a big summer promotion too. She convinces the client to lock in before advertising premiums go up. The client specifically thanks Joan for her help.
Betty is on the bed, still in the party dress. Sally asks if she's okay and offers aspirin. Betty says she needs some rest and tells her to go play with Bobby. She tries to get out of bed and steps on her wineglass, breaking it and cutting her foot.
Roger tells Harry that all is well again. Better than well. He wants Joan's work to be converted to a full-time job, paying $150 a week. "He" will have to share an office. (Roger pauses in front of his door, waiting for Harry to open it for him.)
Don comes home to a dark, quiet house. The kids are in bed. (I'm trying to imagine the childhood that Sally and Bobby are going to remember growing up; drunk mom hanging around in a party dress all day, shooting the neighbor's pigeons, smashing chairs, putting them to bed whenever she's in a bad mood....) Betty is still in the dress, still drunk. She tells him she went through all his things and found nothing but advertising notes. She doesn't understand how he could do this to her. He denies that he did anything.
After the commercial break, Don is sleeping on the couch. Betty has finally washed up and changed. She wants to talk. He reaches for her. She doesn't let him smooth it away with sex. She observes that only now does he look her in the eye. And he never says he loves her. He says he says it all the time. (Not that I've noticed. I think he would love her more if she were an advertising mascot, like the Swiss Miss. Or maybe the Utz cartoon girl!) She asks if he hates her. He looks her in the eye and says he loves her and the children and he doesn't want to lose them. She walks away.
Another weekday morning. Peggy shows Fr. Gill around the office. Ken and Pete joke that this must be the "Miracle" Whip account. They wonder if Peggy's an undercover nun.
Harry thanks Joan for "filling in" and introduces her to Danny Lindstrom (he'd rather be called "Dan"), who will take over the job she's been putting her heart and soul into. Boy, do I feel for her. Finally she finds something that really means something to her, and she has to hand it off to some new guy. She's supposed to train him. Right now. So she explains the basic premise of the job in a few sentences. There's lots more that she could tell him, like the storylines of all the daytime soaps, and all the contact people she's spoken to in her spare time, but a hard swallow signals us (but not those clueless oafs) that she's getting choked up. Dan assumes she'll be around to help with the "details."
Fr. Gill is enchanted with the copy machine. Since they're alone, he asks her if she has something she needs to talk about, since he noticed she doesn't take Communion. "God already knows," he reminds her. In that case, she thinks there's no need to talk. And she doesn't think Fr. Gill would understand. He says she's pushing everyone away, there's no sin so big that she can't reconcile herself with God and have a new start. Does she feel that she doesn't deserve God's love? "Your copies are done," she replies. She boxes them up (I can see that they're different from the original flyer, but I can't make them out) and sends him on his way.
Betty checks the roast and sits down in front of the TV. Jimmy's Utz commercial comes on. Betty frowns.
Duck tells Don they've placed Heiney in lots of big markets. Betty calls and tells Don not to come home. That's it. She hangs up. She turns off (or down) the oven.
Joan's getting ready for bed.
Peggy's sitting in the bathtub.
Fr. Gill takes off his priest stuff and transforms into a regular man. He takes out a guitar and sings a song I should recognize, but don't, a little bit off-key.
Don has a Heineken in the break room.
Closing music: ??
Next week: Peggy accuses Pete of blabbing about something.
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