At home
Hilda has apparently decided to go with Leah, the lawyer she met on the street last week, to handle Dad's case. Leah just wants $5K as opposed to the guy they met with, who wants $20K. Hilda decides that Santos, Justin's father, is the guy to ask for the money; Dad is not happy about this.
Hilda heard that Santos won big on some bet; Santos somehow heard that her dad needs a lawyer. He gives her $2500 cash right on the spot, but makes her promise to let him see Justin. She reluctantly agrees.
Dad is upset about the money and wants her to give it back, but she tells him that all Santos asked in return was to see his son.
The evening wears on, but Santos doesn't show up. Justin is mildly disappointed, but not surprised.
She goes out looking for Santos and comes home very late. He shows up soon afterwards, all beat up. As she dabs at his cuts and bruises, he says he was on his way to pay some debt to his bookie when the thugs got him. He apologizes for missing out on his visit, but doesn't want Justin to see him looking like that.
Hilda takes pity and invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. When Justin hears about this, his first reaction is disappointment. He was hoping that he had won some contest and Martha Stewart was coming over. Santos is not a satisfactory substitute, and Justin doubts that he'll show up anyway.
Wil
Brad (in his only appearance in this episode) tells Wil to woo the founder of BeauMart, a huge discount chain, to get him to advertise in Mode. She doesn't want to do it, but Brad appeals to her vanity, saying that she's Mode's best bet to convince this guy.
Wil keeps asking Fido if Nico has called. The answer is no. This is the same woman who, two weeks ago, was irritated just by the mention of her daughter's name; now she keeps checking her messages and fretting over her. Go figure. She wants to know if Nico has received the care package she (actually Fido) sent to her at school in Paris.
Wil looks through a rack of BeauMart clothing that Christina has assembled for her. She hates all of it, and she and Christina trade insults. Fido does some research on this guy - his name is Ted LeBeau - and they get the impression that he's a nouveau-riche redneck. (They don't actually use that word, but it's implied.) She has Fido decorate her office Texas-style. This involves cowboy hats, college football stuff and I think rye is mentioned. She wears something from one of his store's clothing collections. It looks a lot better on her than it would on anyone else; I think maybe Christina did some tailoring.
Ted arrives, and Wil asks Fido to show him in. "I wanted to watch him mosey," Fido protests. They are awkward with him. He notices that she's wearing something from his store; she tactfully says "It's like nothing I own." (I'll have to remember that one.)
Ted says he's not sure why he should advertise in Mode. Mode's readers are too snooty to shop in his store, and his shoppers can't afford the stuff in Mode. She tells him that major designers are developing clothing lines for other discount stores, and she could set something up for BeauMart.
There's supposed to discuss this at a nice restaurant, but he wants to go to his "favorite" place instead, which is sort of a southern roadhouse-style place complete with a gigantic Confederate flag on one wall. Fido gets a little queasy trying to read the menu, which is printed on the waitress's t-shirt, and Wil takes mercy on him and sends him home. No one takes mercy on Wil, but she tries to make the best of it, drinking with Ted. She keeps trying to talk business, but he wants to drink some more.
Nico calls in the middle of all this to complain about the care package. It's full of things she doesn't need. She's allergic to perfume, for example. Wil says she knows that; the perfume was for her roommate. That's when she finds out that Nico doesn't have a roommate. She asks Nico to email her a list of what she needs, and she'll have Fido... but she doesn't get a chance to finish, because Nico hangs up on her.
Ted is fascinated and relieved to see that Wil has a human side. He tells her he has three moody daughters of his own that he didn't spend enough time with when they were kids; Wil feels guilty she never baked cookies with Nico. Ted says she needs to make it up to her.
She wants to get back to business, but Ted admits he had already decided to advertise in Mode back when they were still at the office; he was just messin' with her. He puts his hand on hers, or she puts her hand on his, or maybe both. He suggests dinner at a real restaurant - he actually knows the chef at the place she had originally planned for them to go to, so they'll get fed even at this late hour. She gratefully agrees.
That appears not to have been the end of their evening. On Monday, she finds that he has sent her some white cowboy boots with a little note.
She puts together a new care package for Nico, containing practical items that a girl might actually need, along with a photo of both of them.
Daniel & Sofia
After sprinklers make her offices unusable, Sofia and her staff temporarily move into Mode's fishbowl. Daniel thinks this is a great opportunity to flirt with/insult her (there's not much difference, with him). He thinks she's hot for him, and is just teasing him and playing games every time she spurns his advances.
Daniel is convinced that Sofia's article about sexaholism is about him, and she calls him a clown. At one point, he sees her apparently feeling a coworker's breasts in the fishbowl; he asks why he wasn't invited to the slumber party, and makes a childish comment about liking 'em big and natural. The temperature in the room drops about 50 degrees and she informs him that they're researching an article on breast reconstruction for recovering women. Hah! Take that, little Danny!
He starts reading her book, hoping to gain some insight into her personality. He finds out she likes Indian food, and sends her some to apologize about the breast thing.
She tries to get him to eat some of the Indian food, but it proves too hot for him, so she takes him out on her motorcycle to play pool at some dive. They spar verbally some more - he can't even tell when he's outclassed. They discuss whether she is a tease and whether he's a sexaholic; she lets him win the game (pool, I mean, not the verbal fight).
She asks him what makes him think the sexaholic article was about him - maybe it was about her. She pulls him into the restroom (or something - I can't tell what) and presumably totally does him.
On Monday, Sofia and her staff start packing up their things to go back to their regular offices. Daniel complains to Sofia that she didn't return any of his calls or emails over the weekend. She tells him she was busy... with her boyfriend.
YES! AWESOME!! OMG SALMA HAYEK ROOLZ!!!11!!!!!
Betty
Betty shows up in Daniel's office dripping wet. She had been getting Sofia's autograph when the sprinkers went off, soaking everything. Daniel is surprised that Betty likes Sofia's book; Betty tells him it's brilliant.
Sofia comes by and gives Betty a new, dry, autographed copy of her book and asks her to review an article she wrote on sexaholism.
Betty is skeptical that she is qualified to review it, but Sofia encourages her. She also needles Daniel for not making good use of Betty's brain.
Daniel starts giving Betty a bunch of menial tasks (picking up his laundry, etc.) and then has a change of heart. He was having trouble getting someone to do a hotel review, so he has Betty do it. Betty is ecstatic. "Shut up, really?" she says to her boss. Sassy! She'll spend the whole weekend at a swanky SoHo hotel for free.
Unfortunately, she was supposed to go to Atlantic City with the Turd Sandwich. She halfheartedly invites him, but he refuses. He had his heart set on Atlantic City; he got tickets to The Price Is Right and expects to win a dinette.
That sounds good to me. Go away and don't come back until you have procured some furniture for me! Hilda disagrees with me, and chastises Betty for not offering a more enthusiastic invitation. Hey, Hilda, if you think this guy is such a prize, why don't YOU go after him? Huh? How about that?
Uh, but this thing with Walter and Hilda happened after work. Before that, Betty whined about it to Christina; a somewhat pointless conversation. Fluffy comes in and tells Christina to get some BeauMart clothes to Wil; Betty enthusiastically recommends stuff from the Kelly Clarkson collection. Fluffy tells her that she'd better turn the Betty Look down a notch when she goes to SoHo, rather than the "human piñata look." (And that's it for Fluffy this week - that line was pretty much the only payoff in this scene.)
Betty takes a very large suitcase to the hotel for her weekend stay. Everyone ignores her as she struggles across the lobby with it. The clerk barely acknowledges her, except to make fun of her braces.
Then she reveals that she's reviewing the place for Mode, and suddenly he is super-nice and polite. (Me, I'd rather let them be rude, and then put it in my review, but that's probably why nobody asks me to review things.)
He tells her to take a seat and he'll ring someone to help her with her bags.
She looks around the lobby and chooses the most ridiculous seat she can find - a globe chair balanced on a pedestal. It immediately rolls off as soon as she sits in it, and everyone stares as she struggles to climb out.
She pays the bellboy with a half-used commuter pass and then explores her room, taking notes on everything she sees and trying to describe it in the most pretentious, florid language possible. Um, has she ever read Mode? Never mind. She plays with the TV and accidentally picks out a movie called "Ocean's 11 Inches." It's just what it sounds like, and she immediately slams the doors shut over her TV in horror.
She calls for a massage and is surprised when a hot guy named Sven shows up. She says she was expecting a woman, but Sven says all the women had appointments. He tells her she can take her clothes off while he sets up the table. She refuses to take her glasses off and tries to interview him and take notes while he rubs her shoulders. She asks whether he's shi-tzu'ing her or ralphing her.
The whole scene is so painful that I'm almost relieved when there's a knock on the door; then I realize it's Turd Sandwich. Sven answers the door, and TS is displeased to see his girlfriend kinda not dressed in a room with a hot guy. He sends Sven away, and Betty gives him a hug. He says he turned around before he even got to Atlantic City. I suppose that's touching and sweet, except it's the Turd Sandwich. Gross.
She makes TS buy a nice shirt so they can eat at the hotel restaurant; she wears the most elegant thing she owns - her prom dress. And not the fashionable kind. It's blue and puffy. It's the kind of thing that's cute only because we know and love Betty. Otherwise it's horrible.
They are 15 minutes late for dinner. The snooty hostess tells them they lost their table after 10 minutes. TS eagerly suggests room service, but Betty says no, she has to review the restaurant. She mentions that she's from Mode, and suddenly the hostess is much more accommodating and is able to seat them immediately.
TS is irritable at the restaurant. He has trouble reading the see-through menu, doesn't want to help Betty with her review, and generally just wants them to hole up in their room and watch TV.
When the food arrives, it's tiny and confusing. TS complains loudly. The waiter tries to be polite, but TS lectures Betty that "we don't belong in places like these." He takes his dress shirt off (don't worry - he's still wearing his t-shirt underneath, so at least we are spared that particular pain). He says he doesn't like Betty from Mode - he liked Betty from Queens. He leaves her sitting there in her prom dress.
Later, still wearing the prom dress in her room, Betty struggles to finish the review, but isn't happy with it or her behavior. She goes home and apologizes to the Turd Sandwich. He says he is afraid of losing her; she says he won't lose her - she just needs some support from him.
Daniel says the review is great, but it's not glamorous enough for Mode. Betty is crushed, and runs to the bathroom to cry. Personally, I am amazed that there aren't at least a dozen women crying and/or vomiting in there at any given time, but perhaps that would be distracting. Sofia finds her and tells her not to hide or slouch. She says she liked Betty's hotel review; she's going to publish it in her own magazine. Betty dances for joy.
Next week
It's Thanksgiving in Manhattan as well as in Queens. Be afraid. Be very afraid!
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