...rub yogurt all over your body instead.
The task is to create a four-page Dial Nourishing Yogurt Body Wash (sounds gross!) photo ad for Redbook. Dial wants an ad that reflects cleanliness, health, honesty, and family.
Empresario: Tito Ortiz (PM), Trace Adkins, Stephen Baldwin, Omarosa
At first, Omarosa wants to be PM. Then Trump says the PM who loses will probably get fired. Suddenly, Omarosa has lots of reasons why Ortiz should take the job instead!
At the client meeting, the Redbook lady says that Adkins is perfect for their demographic. The team decides that the ad should be "sexy." They go with a cowboy/cowgirl motif - but mostly cowgirls. The photos depict a dry desert to contrast with the moisturizing yogurt wash (yecch).
Omarosa points out that most of Redbook's readers are women. She wants Adkins to pose with two other men, and no shirt. He hates the idea, but goes along with it. This cheers her up considerably. However, Ortiz refuses to use this photo in the ad. Omarosa assures him that the readers won't be interested in the pretty young cowgirl, but he doesn't care. Baldwin reminds him of Dial's key values (including "family") and says that if the other team follows those and wins, they're screwed.
Omarosa's part of the presentation to the execs is very professional - her delivery isn't perfect, but her text sounds like it could be the voiceover on a TV ad. Ortiz's part of the pitch is awkward and awful.
Afterwards, one of the execs tells Trump she preferred the photos in this one, but they don't all agree on the effectiveness of the "message."
Hydra: Carol Alt (PM), Lennox Lewis, Piers Morgan
In her meeting with Redbook, Alt confirms that Redbook's average reader is 37. This helps the team target their ad.
The team comes up with an idea to have the pages represent different aspects of a woman's life: motherhood, a looong (two-page) bath, and sex. At first, they choose young models, which conflicts with the demographic they've been told to target; Alt isn't sure she wants to model ("too many hats," she says, since she's already the project manager), but she finally gives in and does the shoot (after all, it'd be too ironic if she got fired because they hated the model!).
Lewis oversees the photo shoot... it's another behind-the-scenes showbiz task for him, and he's good at it. Despite all the hype for this episode, the "sexy" photo doesn't seem outrageous compared to other soap ads. On the other hand, they wonder if it might be too much for the Dial people: the male actor is playfully biting Alt's shoulder.
Morgan's presentation to the executives is long-winded and pompous, as usual. Afterwards, the execs tell Trump they mostly like the ad, which has a nice warm and sensuous air, but they're uncomfortable with the biting.
In the boardroom
Trump, flanked by eyes and ears George and Ivanka, comments that Ortiz seems nervous - ironic given his adventures in the ring. He also reminds Alt that he warned her not to be PM.
The two teams critique one anothers' ads. Morgan trashes every aspect of Empresario's ad. Baldwin teases Morgan and says he should wear glasses. Adkins is much more generous in his comments about Hydra's ad.
Hydra wins, with $20,000 going to Alt's brother's scholarship foundation. The victors retire to their suite. Almost immediately, Trump lambastes Omarosa for not being the PM - especially since she's already lost twice in that role. (Up in the suite, Morgan crows copiously over the Omarosa-abuse. Remind me never to watch TV with this guy. I don't know how Alt and Lewis are supposed to be able to hear what's going on.)
Omarosa explains that she tried to tell Ortiz about Redbook's readers. She says that Baldwin was picking up Ortiz's slack. Trump asks Adkins what he thinks; Adkins says Omarosa made good suggestions that Ortiz ignored in favor of Baldwin's. They discuss how overbearing Baldwin is.
Omarosa describes some of the photos she suggested that were taken, but not used. Ortiz blames their non-use on Baldwin. Omarosa says Ortiz should be fired. Trump wonders why Baldwin shouldn't be fired since he was so bossy about the photos. Omarosa hammers home the point that it's a magazine for WOMEN.
Trump asks Ortiz who he'd send back to the suite if he had the option (he actually doesn't). He says Omarosa worked the hardest. With very little more conversation, Trump fires Ortiz - but also makes a personal contribution of $50,000 to Ortiz's charity, the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
2008-02-24
Celebrity Apprentice week 8, 2/21/08: Slow and steady wins the race
Here's the current lineup:
Hydra: Marilu Henner, Piers Morgan, Carol Alt, Lennox Lewis.
Empresario: Stephen Baldwin (project manager), Tito Ortiz, Trace Adkins, Omarosa.
Still seething over the recent experience with Omarosa, Morgan calls his charity to let them know about the money he's won for them. Afterwards, he says that the phone call helped him put things into perspective. He adds that getting Henner in exchange for Omarosa is "like replacing the devil with Nelson Mandela."
The teams choose their project managers. Baldwin takes charge of Empresario on the condition that he be allowed to direct the segment. No one objects. For Hydra, Morgan suggests that Mandela- er, I mean Henner take charge, since she's the only one on the team who hasn't won money for her charity yet. (For Empresario, Omarosa has been PM twice and still hasn't won any money, and Adkins hasn't won yet either, but he was PM for the previous task and Omarosa just the week before.)
The task this week is for each team to select a product and sell it in a ten-minute segment on QVC. Morgan semi-confidentially complains that Lewis is hung over from last night's celebration. Lewis says he's merely tired, and semi-confidentially complains that Morgan has diarrhea of the mouth.
Morgan wants to put Lewis in front of the camera; Lewis is tired of always being the frontman, and would rather produce/direct instead. Henner has been on QVC before to promote her books, and Alt worked there for five years. They have the option to either have two team members do the presentation, or one team member with one QVC host.
The teams have to choose different products, but both prefer a stepladder that unfolds to become a cart. (Henner REALLY likes the ladder.) Rather than waste time debating, they agree to flip for it. Alt wins the coinflip; much to Henner's delight, Hydra gets the stepladder. Empresario's second choice is a lightweight, cordless carpet sweeper.
Henner is clearly very excited about the stepladder and keeps talking about how great it is. Alt thinks she'd not get a chance to say much with Henner there, so they agree to let Henner do the presentation with QVC host Rick. (Alt tells us that she's a stabilizing influence on Henner, and that she "has her back.") Henner tries to give Rick a little ride on the cart, but the wheels roll out from under the top-heavy load, and he falls! Luckily, he isn't hurt.
Empresario chooses Adkins as their pitchman. He dwarfs both the carpet sweeper and Lisa, the QVC host. Omarosa thinks it would be a good idea to do a dry run before they go on the air, but Baldwin nixes the idea.
Junior Trump checks in with both teams and observes that "Marilu likes to talk. A lot."
Baldwin asks if QVC offers a payment plan for viewers (he says the Lord gave him the idea). He's told that the maximum number of payments is five - so he decides to sell the sweeper for 5 payments of $11.99.
It's air time. Alt helps out on the set, while Morgan works in the control room. He scoffs at Lewis's excitement about directing Henner. Trump and Ivanka note that Henner is talking a mile a minute. When the QVC host asks a buyer a question, Henner misunderstands and replies, talking over the buyer. When the host thanks the audience, she replies to this as well!
Adkins seems slightly nervous at the beginning of his segment, but quickly relaxes, demonstrating the product with nuts and bolts, talking about his daughers' crafting messes, etc. Trump and Ivanka wonder how his super-mellow approach will play after Henner's frenzied presentation.
In the boardroom, one of the very first things Henner mentions is the "learning curve" of being with Hydra. (Odd, since she's done many tasks with Alt, so only Morgan and Lewis were new to her.) Morgan lavishly praises Henner's great "energy." As for Empresario, Ortiz reports that Adkins was the star of their team. Baldwin adds that Omarosa did an excellent job.
The results are revealed: Empresario sold 716 sweepers at $59.95, outpricing and outselling Hydra, who moved 703 ladders at $49.99 each.
Morgan hesitates to blame Henner for the loss, saying that her energy and enthusiasm were beyond reproach, or somesuch. The subject of payment plans comes up; Henner says she wasn't aware of the payment plan. Alt, who worked at QVC for five years, hesitates before saying she didn't know about it either. Morgan tries to pin the blame on Lewis for being hung over. Lewis says he was merely tired, and only during the morning. Morgan calls him "Sleepy Boy," and Trump disapproves of the epithet. Morgan argues that it's British humor that Lewis surely appreciates. Lewis disagrees. (Watching in the suite, Omarosa and Baldwin think Morgan is going to be fired.) Henner jumps in and says that Lewis was very "low-key" and that she had trouble "finding his energy." Trump tells her that she's overdoing it!
Lewis states that their project manager is accountable for their loss. So does Alt, who said earlier that she's always got Henner's back. She does add that the team agreed with all of Henner's decisions. Perhaps in response to this betrayal, Henner states that price point and lack of payment plan was their downfall. (Up in the suite, Baldwin notes that Morgan is being very subdued.)
Trump says that Lewis does okay "sleepy," even in the boxing ring. He asks Henner who he should fire. She hems and haws. He tells her she talks tooo much, but she still doesn't give him an answer. He asks who she'll exempt. She continues talking, but after a sharp word from Trump, she sends Alt back.
In the boardroom, Ivanka says that Henner did do most of the work. Junior says he's surprised she let Alt go back to the suite. In the lobby, Morgan says he thinks Alt knew about the payment plan. (I'm inclined to agree.)
They're called back to the boardroom. Trump asks why Henner let Alt off the hook. Henner feebly says that Alt is a hard worker, while Lewis is sleepy (dammit, Henner, Trump already told you that argument's a lost cause!). There's more discussion of Alt and the payment plan. Trump notes that Morgan is sweating - odd since no one is blaming him for the loss! Henner tries again to pin the blame on Lewis. It doesn't work. With regret, Trump fires Henner. After two stints as project manager, hasn't won any money for her charity, Physicians' Committee for Responsible Medicine; Baldwin gets $20,000 to donate to the Carol Baldwin Breast Cancer Research Fund, on top of the $69,000 he won the first week.
Hydra: Marilu Henner, Piers Morgan, Carol Alt, Lennox Lewis.
Empresario: Stephen Baldwin (project manager), Tito Ortiz, Trace Adkins, Omarosa.
Still seething over the recent experience with Omarosa, Morgan calls his charity to let them know about the money he's won for them. Afterwards, he says that the phone call helped him put things into perspective. He adds that getting Henner in exchange for Omarosa is "like replacing the devil with Nelson Mandela."
The teams choose their project managers. Baldwin takes charge of Empresario on the condition that he be allowed to direct the segment. No one objects. For Hydra, Morgan suggests that Mandela- er, I mean Henner take charge, since she's the only one on the team who hasn't won money for her charity yet. (For Empresario, Omarosa has been PM twice and still hasn't won any money, and Adkins hasn't won yet either, but he was PM for the previous task and Omarosa just the week before.)
The task this week is for each team to select a product and sell it in a ten-minute segment on QVC. Morgan semi-confidentially complains that Lewis is hung over from last night's celebration. Lewis says he's merely tired, and semi-confidentially complains that Morgan has diarrhea of the mouth.
Morgan wants to put Lewis in front of the camera; Lewis is tired of always being the frontman, and would rather produce/direct instead. Henner has been on QVC before to promote her books, and Alt worked there for five years. They have the option to either have two team members do the presentation, or one team member with one QVC host.
The teams have to choose different products, but both prefer a stepladder that unfolds to become a cart. (Henner REALLY likes the ladder.) Rather than waste time debating, they agree to flip for it. Alt wins the coinflip; much to Henner's delight, Hydra gets the stepladder. Empresario's second choice is a lightweight, cordless carpet sweeper.
Henner is clearly very excited about the stepladder and keeps talking about how great it is. Alt thinks she'd not get a chance to say much with Henner there, so they agree to let Henner do the presentation with QVC host Rick. (Alt tells us that she's a stabilizing influence on Henner, and that she "has her back.") Henner tries to give Rick a little ride on the cart, but the wheels roll out from under the top-heavy load, and he falls! Luckily, he isn't hurt.
Empresario chooses Adkins as their pitchman. He dwarfs both the carpet sweeper and Lisa, the QVC host. Omarosa thinks it would be a good idea to do a dry run before they go on the air, but Baldwin nixes the idea.
Junior Trump checks in with both teams and observes that "Marilu likes to talk. A lot."
Baldwin asks if QVC offers a payment plan for viewers (he says the Lord gave him the idea). He's told that the maximum number of payments is five - so he decides to sell the sweeper for 5 payments of $11.99.
It's air time. Alt helps out on the set, while Morgan works in the control room. He scoffs at Lewis's excitement about directing Henner. Trump and Ivanka note that Henner is talking a mile a minute. When the QVC host asks a buyer a question, Henner misunderstands and replies, talking over the buyer. When the host thanks the audience, she replies to this as well!
Adkins seems slightly nervous at the beginning of his segment, but quickly relaxes, demonstrating the product with nuts and bolts, talking about his daughers' crafting messes, etc. Trump and Ivanka wonder how his super-mellow approach will play after Henner's frenzied presentation.
In the boardroom, one of the very first things Henner mentions is the "learning curve" of being with Hydra. (Odd, since she's done many tasks with Alt, so only Morgan and Lewis were new to her.) Morgan lavishly praises Henner's great "energy." As for Empresario, Ortiz reports that Adkins was the star of their team. Baldwin adds that Omarosa did an excellent job.
The results are revealed: Empresario sold 716 sweepers at $59.95, outpricing and outselling Hydra, who moved 703 ladders at $49.99 each.
Morgan hesitates to blame Henner for the loss, saying that her energy and enthusiasm were beyond reproach, or somesuch. The subject of payment plans comes up; Henner says she wasn't aware of the payment plan. Alt, who worked at QVC for five years, hesitates before saying she didn't know about it either. Morgan tries to pin the blame on Lewis for being hung over. Lewis says he was merely tired, and only during the morning. Morgan calls him "Sleepy Boy," and Trump disapproves of the epithet. Morgan argues that it's British humor that Lewis surely appreciates. Lewis disagrees. (Watching in the suite, Omarosa and Baldwin think Morgan is going to be fired.) Henner jumps in and says that Lewis was very "low-key" and that she had trouble "finding his energy." Trump tells her that she's overdoing it!
Lewis states that their project manager is accountable for their loss. So does Alt, who said earlier that she's always got Henner's back. She does add that the team agreed with all of Henner's decisions. Perhaps in response to this betrayal, Henner states that price point and lack of payment plan was their downfall. (Up in the suite, Baldwin notes that Morgan is being very subdued.)
Trump says that Lewis does okay "sleepy," even in the boxing ring. He asks Henner who he should fire. She hems and haws. He tells her she talks tooo much, but she still doesn't give him an answer. He asks who she'll exempt. She continues talking, but after a sharp word from Trump, she sends Alt back.
In the boardroom, Ivanka says that Henner did do most of the work. Junior says he's surprised she let Alt go back to the suite. In the lobby, Morgan says he thinks Alt knew about the payment plan. (I'm inclined to agree.)
They're called back to the boardroom. Trump asks why Henner let Alt off the hook. Henner feebly says that Alt is a hard worker, while Lewis is sleepy (dammit, Henner, Trump already told you that argument's a lost cause!). There's more discussion of Alt and the payment plan. Trump notes that Morgan is sweating - odd since no one is blaming him for the loss! Henner tries again to pin the blame on Lewis. It doesn't work. With regret, Trump fires Henner. After two stints as project manager, hasn't won any money for her charity, Physicians' Committee for Responsible Medicine; Baldwin gets $20,000 to donate to the Carol Baldwin Breast Cancer Research Fund, on top of the $69,000 he won the first week.
2008-02-21
Celebrity Apprentice week 7, 2/14/08: Omarosa drops an F-bomb
"Business is always personal," said Omarosa at one point during episode 5. She was (perhaps unwittingly) quoting noted fictitious jackass Michael Scott. That philosophy made more sense in The Office, when Michael used a personal touch to clinch a big sale. Omarosa's behavior in this episode could be described as personal, but not as business.
The men wait up in the suite for the women to come back, discussing Omarosa's incompetence and chuckling in anticipation of hearing that she has finally been fired. She and Marilu Henner return to the suite without Nely Galán; Omarosa gloats. Piers Morgan says he'd rather shoot himself or be fired than have to work with her.
But then they are called to the boardroom. Trump tells them not to sit down just yet; he's going to mix up the teams. To his right, he assembles the new Empresario: Henner, plus Tito Ortiz, Trace Adkins, and Stephen Baldwin. To his left is the new Hydra: Carol Alt, Lennox Lewis, Omarosa... and Morgan, who looks thoroughly nauseated.
The task is to sell horse and carriage rides in Central Park. Headed by Adkins, the Empresario teammates immediately start making calls to get friends to commit to expensive buggy rides. Over at Hydra, Omarosa and Morgan make peace; Morgan tells the team to just concentrate on making money.
But Omarosa, not being a real celebrity, has no deep-pocketed contacts - or at least none who are willing to help her. She and Morgan begin bickering again. Not in a cute or clever way, either; there aren't any zingers. It's purely childish comments. Nevertheless, Omarosa is smug about it later; she thinks she's really given it to Morgan good. The truth is that they've both made themselves look foolish.
It gets worse when he discovers that she has spelled his name wrong on a promotional flier. The insults escalate (or descalate) to Omarosa making comments about his wife and children. Lewis is disgusted with both of them.
Henner is in a better mood and feels that the much more harmonious atmosphere of the New Improved Empresario will mean a win. Unfortunately, the two teams end up working out of the same area of the park. Tension escalates for Hydra, while the entire Empresario team goes right to work.
Omarosa and Morgan begin fighting again, more bitterly (and artlessly) than ever. For the sake of the team, Morgan fires Omarosa. She, who complained strenuously during the first season about Heidi's "F-bombs," drops an F-bomb of her own onto Morgan in front of prospective customers. Classy! She tells Morgan she's been fired by better people, and I have no doubt that she's been fired lots of times, by many people of varying quality. She also threatens to punch him.
Alt urges them to act as a team and keep working, while Lewis reminds them that they're supposed to be raising money for charity. Morgan says he doesn't want Omarosa handling money. Lewis asks him how he's going to work it out. Morgan says to Lewis, "you tell me." Inspiring words from a project manager!
Another Baldwin brother, Billy, shows up. He and Henner troll the crowd, looking for fares. Henner notices that Hydra's carriages aren't moving - it turns out that Morgan's holding them back and turning down fares just in case his rich friends show up. He specifically tells Omarosa to stop selling. "Your children are so disappointed in you," she replies. She makes more remarks about his children. Lennox tells them not to do this in front of everyone, and says it's "very ghetto." The crowd stares at them as they continue exchanging hateful, yet lame barbs.
George is impressed that Empresario is still working harmoniously, and their carriages are constantly on the move. Ortiz's sweetie, Jenna Jameson, shows up for a $1,000 ride, during which she asks what park they're in! Meanwhile, Omarosa proudly tells Ivanka she's been fired, but she won't quit. Morgan complains openly in front of Ivanka and calls Omarosa a "disgusting piece of slime." (I told you their insults were artless.) Ivanka notes that Lewis is the peacemaker. Morgan asks her to tell her father about it; Ivanka says she's sure Morgan will tell Trump himself!
Adkins, the Empresario manager, complains only that his horses are too slow. Henner continues to be impressed with him. Country music singer John Rich comes by for a ride. Just in case you hadn't been keeping track, Empresario has now had three star fares, while Hydra has had none that we know of.
Morgan finally gets worried about his lack of fares, which was a natural result of holding back carriages. He also complains that Omarosa - whom he fired, and told not to sell - did not raise any money.
At this point, I'm drooling over the prospect that Trump might fire both of them, since it's obvious that Hydra is going to lose.
Omarosa continues to be cocky, asking Morgan if another man is raising his children. Alt is waiting for a last-minute pledge to arrive from New Jersey, even though quittin' time is only 20 minutes away.
Predictably, the two vipers commence trashing one another anew in the boardroom. I feel like I'm watching Springer. Baldwin comments that Morgan sounds this week the way Baldwin felt the previous week about having to work with Morgan, so he's somewhat sympathetic. Omarosa lies and says she never said anything about Morgan's children.
Adkins reports that his team had a much better day, and can't single out a specific "star." Trump and his daughter are somewhat disappointed to say that, while Empresario raised a hefty $29,673, Hydra beat them with a total haul of $35,184.
What this means is that there was some very tricky, very misleading editing in which we never got to see Hydra selling any rides, and we never saw their pledges show up for their buggy rides. I'm disgusted that the show has stooped so low, but I am not surprised. (I bet Morgan's kids are disappointed too.)
Morgan wins nearly $65,000 for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes fund, which benefits the bereaved families of US soldiers, and neither he nor Omarosa will be fired tonight; but Trump says that he's going to transfer Omarosa back to Empresario.
Up in the suite, Morgan is so angry about Omarosa, he can't enjoy the victory he's earned for his charity. Lewis is bummed out by the lack of enthusiasm.
In the boardroom, all of the Empresario teammates are unable and unwilling to identify anyone as the weak link that caused their loss. Trump asks if anyone's willing to resign; the answer is no. Trump says "I wish I could fire you-know-who." He says it's all about charity, and he's feeling charitable, so nobody's fired, for the first time ever on The Apprentice. And Marilu will go to Hydra next week.
The men wait up in the suite for the women to come back, discussing Omarosa's incompetence and chuckling in anticipation of hearing that she has finally been fired. She and Marilu Henner return to the suite without Nely Galán; Omarosa gloats. Piers Morgan says he'd rather shoot himself or be fired than have to work with her.
But then they are called to the boardroom. Trump tells them not to sit down just yet; he's going to mix up the teams. To his right, he assembles the new Empresario: Henner, plus Tito Ortiz, Trace Adkins, and Stephen Baldwin. To his left is the new Hydra: Carol Alt, Lennox Lewis, Omarosa... and Morgan, who looks thoroughly nauseated.
The task is to sell horse and carriage rides in Central Park. Headed by Adkins, the Empresario teammates immediately start making calls to get friends to commit to expensive buggy rides. Over at Hydra, Omarosa and Morgan make peace; Morgan tells the team to just concentrate on making money.
But Omarosa, not being a real celebrity, has no deep-pocketed contacts - or at least none who are willing to help her. She and Morgan begin bickering again. Not in a cute or clever way, either; there aren't any zingers. It's purely childish comments. Nevertheless, Omarosa is smug about it later; she thinks she's really given it to Morgan good. The truth is that they've both made themselves look foolish.
It gets worse when he discovers that she has spelled his name wrong on a promotional flier. The insults escalate (or descalate) to Omarosa making comments about his wife and children. Lewis is disgusted with both of them.
Henner is in a better mood and feels that the much more harmonious atmosphere of the New Improved Empresario will mean a win. Unfortunately, the two teams end up working out of the same area of the park. Tension escalates for Hydra, while the entire Empresario team goes right to work.
Omarosa and Morgan begin fighting again, more bitterly (and artlessly) than ever. For the sake of the team, Morgan fires Omarosa. She, who complained strenuously during the first season about Heidi's "F-bombs," drops an F-bomb of her own onto Morgan in front of prospective customers. Classy! She tells Morgan she's been fired by better people, and I have no doubt that she's been fired lots of times, by many people of varying quality. She also threatens to punch him.
Alt urges them to act as a team and keep working, while Lewis reminds them that they're supposed to be raising money for charity. Morgan says he doesn't want Omarosa handling money. Lewis asks him how he's going to work it out. Morgan says to Lewis, "you tell me." Inspiring words from a project manager!
Another Baldwin brother, Billy, shows up. He and Henner troll the crowd, looking for fares. Henner notices that Hydra's carriages aren't moving - it turns out that Morgan's holding them back and turning down fares just in case his rich friends show up. He specifically tells Omarosa to stop selling. "Your children are so disappointed in you," she replies. She makes more remarks about his children. Lennox tells them not to do this in front of everyone, and says it's "very ghetto." The crowd stares at them as they continue exchanging hateful, yet lame barbs.
George is impressed that Empresario is still working harmoniously, and their carriages are constantly on the move. Ortiz's sweetie, Jenna Jameson, shows up for a $1,000 ride, during which she asks what park they're in! Meanwhile, Omarosa proudly tells Ivanka she's been fired, but she won't quit. Morgan complains openly in front of Ivanka and calls Omarosa a "disgusting piece of slime." (I told you their insults were artless.) Ivanka notes that Lewis is the peacemaker. Morgan asks her to tell her father about it; Ivanka says she's sure Morgan will tell Trump himself!
Adkins, the Empresario manager, complains only that his horses are too slow. Henner continues to be impressed with him. Country music singer John Rich comes by for a ride. Just in case you hadn't been keeping track, Empresario has now had three star fares, while Hydra has had none that we know of.
Morgan finally gets worried about his lack of fares, which was a natural result of holding back carriages. He also complains that Omarosa - whom he fired, and told not to sell - did not raise any money.
At this point, I'm drooling over the prospect that Trump might fire both of them, since it's obvious that Hydra is going to lose.
Omarosa continues to be cocky, asking Morgan if another man is raising his children. Alt is waiting for a last-minute pledge to arrive from New Jersey, even though quittin' time is only 20 minutes away.
Predictably, the two vipers commence trashing one another anew in the boardroom. I feel like I'm watching Springer. Baldwin comments that Morgan sounds this week the way Baldwin felt the previous week about having to work with Morgan, so he's somewhat sympathetic. Omarosa lies and says she never said anything about Morgan's children.
Adkins reports that his team had a much better day, and can't single out a specific "star." Trump and his daughter are somewhat disappointed to say that, while Empresario raised a hefty $29,673, Hydra beat them with a total haul of $35,184.
What this means is that there was some very tricky, very misleading editing in which we never got to see Hydra selling any rides, and we never saw their pledges show up for their buggy rides. I'm disgusted that the show has stooped so low, but I am not surprised. (I bet Morgan's kids are disappointed too.)
Morgan wins nearly $65,000 for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes fund, which benefits the bereaved families of US soldiers, and neither he nor Omarosa will be fired tonight; but Trump says that he's going to transfer Omarosa back to Empresario.
Up in the suite, Morgan is so angry about Omarosa, he can't enjoy the victory he's earned for his charity. Lewis is bummed out by the lack of enthusiasm.
In the boardroom, all of the Empresario teammates are unable and unwilling to identify anyone as the weak link that caused their loss. Trump asks if anyone's willing to resign; the answer is no. Trump says "I wish I could fire you-know-who." He says it's all about charity, and he's feeling charitable, so nobody's fired, for the first time ever on The Apprentice. And Marilu will go to Hydra next week.
2008-02-18
Celebrity Apprentice week 6, 2/7/08: Trump gets his wish
After all the drama from the previous week - most of which was probably premeditated, and none of which had anything to do with business or marketing - I was not looking forward to the next episode. I started having flashbacks to the last Apprentice - not memories of specific events, but memories of intensely disliking it and not wanting to watch it anymore. I thought a celebrity version might be more interesting.
In retrospect, I'm not sure why I thought that. Eh, never mind; we've gone this far, so we might as well finish it off!
When the men return to the suite without Vincent Pastore, Omarosa taunts Lennox Lewis for being "dirty" and siding with Piers Morgan; so much for the big crush she claimed to have on him a few weeks earlier. Morgan complains bitterly about her; being the incredibly classy chick Omarosa always claims to be, she ignores him. HA! KIDDING! No she doesn't. She dumps champagne on his head.
Stephen Baldwin says he can't work with Morgan and asks to meet with Trump. Rather than let him quit, Trump tells him to join Empresario. Nely Galán is particularly displeased. Baldwin offers to make coffee for the women. Lewis, who is the project manager this week, is disgusted. Baldwin admits he won't be around for the first day anyway, because he has to do church stuff. This angers Omarosa, who has apparently declared herself project manager for the week. She tells Trump that her team is rejecting Baldwin as a teammate. Trump says too bad, he's yours.
The task is to create a living display in a store window for Serta and Vera Wang, who have teamed up to create a mattress. Wang stresses that the three things she's looking for are creativity, branding, and entertainment value. Omarosa thinks it's a no-brainer to go with a wedding theme, since Wang is famous for her bridal gowns.
The men approach the task with more ignorance and humility, and ask Wang what she considers entertaining. Wang tells them she's not just about weddings.
And... there you go. Omarosa goes with a "no-brainer," while the men attempt to find out what the customer wants. Do you see where this is going - since Omarosa has already failed as project manager on another task? Yeah, I saw where it was going too. At least I thought I did.
Trace Adkins, who hardly ever opens his mouth except to either sing or say something really brilliant, suggests that Hydra go with a romance (but not bridal) theme - Anthony and Cleopatra. Meanwhile, Omarosa is asking Wang for samples of wedding gowns and lingerie. Again, I bet you think you can see where this is going, but just wait.
Morgan whines when Lewis asks for a vote on every single decision, refusing to decide anything himself. Meanwhile, Omarosa complains that Marilu Henner, who is in charge of designing the store window display, is too "scattered" and that the result will be too "burlesque" with all the lingerie (which Omarosa had asked Wang for). Henner overhears Omarosa asking Galán to take over Henner's task. Baldwin shows up after his church commitment and pulls a slogan out of thin air.
The men are all amused that Lewis is continuing to take votes on every facets of the task. They go shopping at the last minute. George (yes, this week we get actual George instead of some cheap imitation!) worries that they are way behind schedule. Lewis finally says something decisive - he tells his team he'd rather they went overboard with the display than "underboard."
Omarosa continues to be miffed by Henner's enthusiasm. Wang comes by to see the outcome and is delighted by the bridal scene, in which Baldwin and Carol Alt portray the groom and bride. In the mens' lushly-decorated window, Anthony and Cleopatra are watching TV, using laptops, and enjoying other technology while sitting on their cushy mattress.
In the boardroom, Baldwin says he loved working with the women. It's mutual. Adkins complains that Lewis was a strange leader, asking them to raise their hands before speaking. Morgan says he felt like a child. (Reasonable since he acts like one; just wait till next week.) Lewis says Morgan needed the discipline.
Morgan mentions that Vera Wang told them not to go with a wedding theme. The women exchange nervous looks. Donald Trump Jr. says Empresario's display (the one Omarosa feared would be too "burlesque" was too conservative. George agrees that Hydra's was more creative. Hydra wins! Morgan crows; he's the world's sorest winner. Junior tells Empresario they should have listened more to Serta, not just Vera Wang. George says it wasn't entertaining, and Trump says their wedding theme was "based on the past.
Baldwin and Omarosa agree that Henner was the weak link on the team, but Omarosa feels that either Henner should be fired for being scattered, or Baldwin for taking most of the day off. Jr. says forget that - Baldwin got a free pass for the day due to a religious commitment. Omarosa grumbles and feels the whole team should stay in the boardroom, in that case, or else she needs time to think. (Again, don't you think you see where this is going... but wait.) Trump doesn't allow this and demands a decision. Omarosa chooses Galán and Henner.
George tells Trump that Galán should have done a better job. Omarosa says she also didn't get enough creative feedback from Galán. (I'll grant you, Galán's in the TV business, but as far as I know that doesn't make her an expert on designing a living display in a store window.) Galán says Henner was too scattered to work with and didn't listen.
Trump says Galán should have designed the set, and that he's wanted to fire her twice before. Galán tells him that Gene Simmons thought she was great (I'm not sure she realizes that he got fired because he wanted off the show, not because he was taking a bullet for her own benefit), and that he should get over it. (Yeah, she told Trump to get over it.) She points out that the previous project managers never brought her into the boardroom to be fired.
Trump doesn't care. He says, "Nely, you're fired. Get the hell out of here." He also warns Omarosa to "step up," because Morgan is killing Empresario.
Nely Galán's charity, "Count Me In," which benefits women entrepreneurs, gets nothing, while Hydra's win nets the Mohammed Ali Center $20,000.
In retrospect, I'm not sure why I thought that. Eh, never mind; we've gone this far, so we might as well finish it off!
When the men return to the suite without Vincent Pastore, Omarosa taunts Lennox Lewis for being "dirty" and siding with Piers Morgan; so much for the big crush she claimed to have on him a few weeks earlier. Morgan complains bitterly about her; being the incredibly classy chick Omarosa always claims to be, she ignores him. HA! KIDDING! No she doesn't. She dumps champagne on his head.
Stephen Baldwin says he can't work with Morgan and asks to meet with Trump. Rather than let him quit, Trump tells him to join Empresario. Nely Galán is particularly displeased. Baldwin offers to make coffee for the women. Lewis, who is the project manager this week, is disgusted. Baldwin admits he won't be around for the first day anyway, because he has to do church stuff. This angers Omarosa, who has apparently declared herself project manager for the week. She tells Trump that her team is rejecting Baldwin as a teammate. Trump says too bad, he's yours.
The task is to create a living display in a store window for Serta and Vera Wang, who have teamed up to create a mattress. Wang stresses that the three things she's looking for are creativity, branding, and entertainment value. Omarosa thinks it's a no-brainer to go with a wedding theme, since Wang is famous for her bridal gowns.
The men approach the task with more ignorance and humility, and ask Wang what she considers entertaining. Wang tells them she's not just about weddings.
And... there you go. Omarosa goes with a "no-brainer," while the men attempt to find out what the customer wants. Do you see where this is going - since Omarosa has already failed as project manager on another task? Yeah, I saw where it was going too. At least I thought I did.
Trace Adkins, who hardly ever opens his mouth except to either sing or say something really brilliant, suggests that Hydra go with a romance (but not bridal) theme - Anthony and Cleopatra. Meanwhile, Omarosa is asking Wang for samples of wedding gowns and lingerie. Again, I bet you think you can see where this is going, but just wait.
Morgan whines when Lewis asks for a vote on every single decision, refusing to decide anything himself. Meanwhile, Omarosa complains that Marilu Henner, who is in charge of designing the store window display, is too "scattered" and that the result will be too "burlesque" with all the lingerie (which Omarosa had asked Wang for). Henner overhears Omarosa asking Galán to take over Henner's task. Baldwin shows up after his church commitment and pulls a slogan out of thin air.
The men are all amused that Lewis is continuing to take votes on every facets of the task. They go shopping at the last minute. George (yes, this week we get actual George instead of some cheap imitation!) worries that they are way behind schedule. Lewis finally says something decisive - he tells his team he'd rather they went overboard with the display than "underboard."
Omarosa continues to be miffed by Henner's enthusiasm. Wang comes by to see the outcome and is delighted by the bridal scene, in which Baldwin and Carol Alt portray the groom and bride. In the mens' lushly-decorated window, Anthony and Cleopatra are watching TV, using laptops, and enjoying other technology while sitting on their cushy mattress.
In the boardroom, Baldwin says he loved working with the women. It's mutual. Adkins complains that Lewis was a strange leader, asking them to raise their hands before speaking. Morgan says he felt like a child. (Reasonable since he acts like one; just wait till next week.) Lewis says Morgan needed the discipline.
Morgan mentions that Vera Wang told them not to go with a wedding theme. The women exchange nervous looks. Donald Trump Jr. says Empresario's display (the one Omarosa feared would be too "burlesque" was too conservative. George agrees that Hydra's was more creative. Hydra wins! Morgan crows; he's the world's sorest winner. Junior tells Empresario they should have listened more to Serta, not just Vera Wang. George says it wasn't entertaining, and Trump says their wedding theme was "based on the past.
Baldwin and Omarosa agree that Henner was the weak link on the team, but Omarosa feels that either Henner should be fired for being scattered, or Baldwin for taking most of the day off. Jr. says forget that - Baldwin got a free pass for the day due to a religious commitment. Omarosa grumbles and feels the whole team should stay in the boardroom, in that case, or else she needs time to think. (Again, don't you think you see where this is going... but wait.) Trump doesn't allow this and demands a decision. Omarosa chooses Galán and Henner.
George tells Trump that Galán should have done a better job. Omarosa says she also didn't get enough creative feedback from Galán. (I'll grant you, Galán's in the TV business, but as far as I know that doesn't make her an expert on designing a living display in a store window.) Galán says Henner was too scattered to work with and didn't listen.
Trump says Galán should have designed the set, and that he's wanted to fire her twice before. Galán tells him that Gene Simmons thought she was great (I'm not sure she realizes that he got fired because he wanted off the show, not because he was taking a bullet for her own benefit), and that he should get over it. (Yeah, she told Trump to get over it.) She points out that the previous project managers never brought her into the boardroom to be fired.
Trump doesn't care. He says, "Nely, you're fired. Get the hell out of here." He also warns Omarosa to "step up," because Morgan is killing Empresario.
Nely Galán's charity, "Count Me In," which benefits women entrepreneurs, gets nothing, while Hydra's win nets the Mohammed Ali Center $20,000.
Celebrity Apprentice week 5, 1/31/08: Everybody Hates Vinnie
The task is to develop a drop box for consumers to recycle used Crocs shoes for needy people. What surprises me about this opening scene is that it takes place in front of an escalator. Over the summer, there were some media reports of children getting injured when their Crocs got stuck in escalators - I thought they'd mention something about this on the show. Since they didn't, I thought it was in poor taste to shoot this scene in front of an escalator. Oh well. Who asked me.
The project managers are Carol Alt and Piers Morgan. (Nely Galán and Omarosa have expressed a strong desire to get Alt fired.) The two teams have adjoining meeting rooms; Morgan thinks the women are eavesdropping on his team's meeting, so he stages a loud argument with Vincent Pastore (his least favorite teammate at this point) as an excuse to kick Pastore out and have him work as a mole on the womens' team.
Pastore goes to the Empresario meeting room to offer his services. The women are skeptical at first, but take a vote and decide to hire him anyway. (Morgan gloats.) They come up with a slogan: "Share the love." Pastore suggests that Alt be the model (wow, that's true genius, nominating the supermodel for the modeling job!)
Omarosa suggests that the drop box be shaped like a giant Croc, whic I have to say may be the first and only great idea I've ever seen her come up with - but it was a really great one. At some point, Omarosa even makes a positive comment about Carol's leadship skills.
In the next room, Morgan's decided to have Lewis be the model, donating a giant pair of Crocs (alas, not big enough to be the drop box). Trace Adkins concocts a slogan: "Wear them, share them."
Pastore really gets into his role as Empresario newcomer. Away from his new teammates, he confides that he likes having his ideas appreciated for a change. (I remind you, his "idea" was to have the professional model be the model for the drop-box sign...) However, he clearly doesn't let that stop him from passing a note to Hydra. It's just the slogan, with no information about the Croc-shaped drop box. Stephen Baldwin balks. He thinks it was a cute joke to send Pastore over to Empresario, but thinks it'd be cheating and un-Christian to take advantage of the situation. Lewis says it doesn't matter, since they've got their own idea for the promotion anyway. Morgan calls Baldwin a hypocrite.
Meanwhile, Pastore gets a mildly guilty conscience and tells Marilu Henner that Morgan sent him to spy, but he claims to be on Empresario's side now.
Ivanka finds out that Pastore has changed teams and wonders if Omarosa is up to something. (In my opinion, a scheme like this isn't petty enough for Omarosa; just wait till episode 7.) When the men tell Ivanka what's going on, she says she's a big fan of sabotage. They assume this means that she approves of what they're doing. Ivanka seems more concerned about the women.
Pastore tells Donald Trump Jr. if it's indeed sabotage. Pastore admits he realizes he could get fired. Adkins worries when Pastore doesn't rejoin the team to finish up the task, and disapproves of the entire scheme. (Sure, now that it's too late.) Morgan continues with his cocky attitude; Baldwin tries to evangelize to him; Morgan criticizes the need to be born again.
Morgan taunts Galán, then the rest of Empresario with their slogan and gloats. Realizing that Pastore had leaked some information, Alt calls Henner, who is working with Pastore at another location. Omarosa goes on and on about what a "snitch" Pastore is and tries to fire him, even though she's not the project manager. The other women are not happy to know that Henner had already heard his confession; on the other hand, Henner is not so happy that his "confession" neglected to mention that he'd slipped the men a note about their slogan. Nevertheless, Henner assures Alt that everything's under control.
Then a lot of time-consuming drama ensues as Pastore complains that the guys ratted him out as a spy, and he's a rat, and fears that he will be "killed" by his team the way the mob kills its own rats, etc. etc. He confronts Morgan for letting the women know that he'd been spying. Morgan scoffs, gloats some more, and taunts the women again.
Finally, it's time to present the drop boxes to the Crocs executives. Morgan is miffed and confused when Pastore doesn't join the men for their presentation; Lewis is shocked by Pastore's "disloyalty." GIVE ME A BREAK.
By the way, this is the exact moment at which I officially began hating this show. I don't expect much from the likes of Morgan and Omarosa, but I really thought Lennox Lewis had more class - at least enough to know that you don't treat people like crap and then expect them to continue being loyal. Pastore brags to Hydra that he came up with the womens' concept.
At the presentation - the giant Croc drop box is awesome, and so is Empresario's presentation. Trump asks Omarosa why they chose Alt, the professional model, as their spokesmodel - Omarosa doesn't mention that it was Pastore's idea.
Hydra also presents an impressive-looking drop box, but Morgan delivers an incredibly pompous speech. The Crocs executives seem to prefer Hydra's slogan "Soles united - wear them, share them," but Empresario's drop box. Oh, decisions, decisions.
Pastore recaps the events of his betrayal in the boardroom. Baldwin thinks it was a joke. Pastore admits that he was "acting" when he first showed up on Empresario's doorstep. Ivanka and Morgan both feel that the women were only too happy to take advantage of his help (or to keep him around as a scapegoat if something went wrong). Ivanka tells Morgan that it was the wrong way to conduct sabotage - you don't use someone you don't get along with as your confederate. Adkins openly disapproves of the scheme.
Junior asks the team who they prefer - Pastore or Morgan? Baldwin and Adkins prefer Pastore. Lewis prefers Morgan. (Tito Ortiz didn't participate in this task - he had some other commitment.) Morgan admits that he set Pastore up. Baldwin suggests that the womens' team keep Pastore, but no one else likes the idea, including Pastore, who wants to go home.
Getting back to the task, Trump warns the men not to over-use Lewis in all of their promotions. Empresario wins the task - "It wasn't even a contest," Trump tells them. Alt is tearful with shock and joy when she's told that Crocs will donate 10,000 pairs of shoes to their own charity, and she'll get $20,000 for her brother's memorial fund, which raises money for scholarships and other things to benefit children.
Pastore is disgusted when the women don't give him any credit for their victory, and quits. Trump sends the women out, keeping Pastore with Hydra. He asks Pastore if he would stay if he fired Morgan instead. Pastore says yes. Baldwin reiterates his preference for Pastore over Morgan, saying integrity is even more important to him than success. Piers is red-faced and sweaty. Then Pastore changes his mind and quits again, this time for real.
The episode ends with the same song and photographic effect as the last episode of The Sopranos.
The project managers are Carol Alt and Piers Morgan. (Nely Galán and Omarosa have expressed a strong desire to get Alt fired.) The two teams have adjoining meeting rooms; Morgan thinks the women are eavesdropping on his team's meeting, so he stages a loud argument with Vincent Pastore (his least favorite teammate at this point) as an excuse to kick Pastore out and have him work as a mole on the womens' team.
Pastore goes to the Empresario meeting room to offer his services. The women are skeptical at first, but take a vote and decide to hire him anyway. (Morgan gloats.) They come up with a slogan: "Share the love." Pastore suggests that Alt be the model (wow, that's true genius, nominating the supermodel for the modeling job!)
Omarosa suggests that the drop box be shaped like a giant Croc, whic I have to say may be the first and only great idea I've ever seen her come up with - but it was a really great one. At some point, Omarosa even makes a positive comment about Carol's leadship skills.
In the next room, Morgan's decided to have Lewis be the model, donating a giant pair of Crocs (alas, not big enough to be the drop box). Trace Adkins concocts a slogan: "Wear them, share them."
Pastore really gets into his role as Empresario newcomer. Away from his new teammates, he confides that he likes having his ideas appreciated for a change. (I remind you, his "idea" was to have the professional model be the model for the drop-box sign...) However, he clearly doesn't let that stop him from passing a note to Hydra. It's just the slogan, with no information about the Croc-shaped drop box. Stephen Baldwin balks. He thinks it was a cute joke to send Pastore over to Empresario, but thinks it'd be cheating and un-Christian to take advantage of the situation. Lewis says it doesn't matter, since they've got their own idea for the promotion anyway. Morgan calls Baldwin a hypocrite.
Meanwhile, Pastore gets a mildly guilty conscience and tells Marilu Henner that Morgan sent him to spy, but he claims to be on Empresario's side now.
Ivanka finds out that Pastore has changed teams and wonders if Omarosa is up to something. (In my opinion, a scheme like this isn't petty enough for Omarosa; just wait till episode 7.) When the men tell Ivanka what's going on, she says she's a big fan of sabotage. They assume this means that she approves of what they're doing. Ivanka seems more concerned about the women.
Pastore tells Donald Trump Jr. if it's indeed sabotage. Pastore admits he realizes he could get fired. Adkins worries when Pastore doesn't rejoin the team to finish up the task, and disapproves of the entire scheme. (Sure, now that it's too late.) Morgan continues with his cocky attitude; Baldwin tries to evangelize to him; Morgan criticizes the need to be born again.
Morgan taunts Galán, then the rest of Empresario with their slogan and gloats. Realizing that Pastore had leaked some information, Alt calls Henner, who is working with Pastore at another location. Omarosa goes on and on about what a "snitch" Pastore is and tries to fire him, even though she's not the project manager. The other women are not happy to know that Henner had already heard his confession; on the other hand, Henner is not so happy that his "confession" neglected to mention that he'd slipped the men a note about their slogan. Nevertheless, Henner assures Alt that everything's under control.
Then a lot of time-consuming drama ensues as Pastore complains that the guys ratted him out as a spy, and he's a rat, and fears that he will be "killed" by his team the way the mob kills its own rats, etc. etc. He confronts Morgan for letting the women know that he'd been spying. Morgan scoffs, gloats some more, and taunts the women again.
Finally, it's time to present the drop boxes to the Crocs executives. Morgan is miffed and confused when Pastore doesn't join the men for their presentation; Lewis is shocked by Pastore's "disloyalty." GIVE ME A BREAK.
By the way, this is the exact moment at which I officially began hating this show. I don't expect much from the likes of Morgan and Omarosa, but I really thought Lennox Lewis had more class - at least enough to know that you don't treat people like crap and then expect them to continue being loyal. Pastore brags to Hydra that he came up with the womens' concept.
At the presentation - the giant Croc drop box is awesome, and so is Empresario's presentation. Trump asks Omarosa why they chose Alt, the professional model, as their spokesmodel - Omarosa doesn't mention that it was Pastore's idea.
Hydra also presents an impressive-looking drop box, but Morgan delivers an incredibly pompous speech. The Crocs executives seem to prefer Hydra's slogan "Soles united - wear them, share them," but Empresario's drop box. Oh, decisions, decisions.
Pastore recaps the events of his betrayal in the boardroom. Baldwin thinks it was a joke. Pastore admits that he was "acting" when he first showed up on Empresario's doorstep. Ivanka and Morgan both feel that the women were only too happy to take advantage of his help (or to keep him around as a scapegoat if something went wrong). Ivanka tells Morgan that it was the wrong way to conduct sabotage - you don't use someone you don't get along with as your confederate. Adkins openly disapproves of the scheme.
Junior asks the team who they prefer - Pastore or Morgan? Baldwin and Adkins prefer Pastore. Lewis prefers Morgan. (Tito Ortiz didn't participate in this task - he had some other commitment.) Morgan admits that he set Pastore up. Baldwin suggests that the womens' team keep Pastore, but no one else likes the idea, including Pastore, who wants to go home.
Getting back to the task, Trump warns the men not to over-use Lewis in all of their promotions. Empresario wins the task - "It wasn't even a contest," Trump tells them. Alt is tearful with shock and joy when she's told that Crocs will donate 10,000 pairs of shoes to their own charity, and she'll get $20,000 for her brother's memorial fund, which raises money for scholarships and other things to benefit children.
Pastore is disgusted when the women don't give him any credit for their victory, and quits. Trump sends the women out, keeping Pastore with Hydra. He asks Pastore if he would stay if he fired Morgan instead. Pastore says yes. Baldwin reiterates his preference for Pastore over Morgan, saying integrity is even more important to him than success. Piers is red-faced and sweaty. Then Pastore changes his mind and quits again, this time for real.
The episode ends with the same song and photographic effect as the last episode of The Sopranos.
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