2006-12-28
Ugly Betty in Greece
Greece now has its own version of Yo Soy Betty, La Fea. It's called Μαρία, Η Άσχημη. ("Maria, the ugly one.") This is the only photo I've been able to find so far.
2006-12-04
11/30/06: Sweaty palms and five golden rings
Betty is working late. Henry from Accounting, AKA Hotty, is chatting with her, flirting mildly. The darkened room is lit only by Betty's small desk lamp, creating a romantic note in an environment that normally looks coldly modern during the day.
Hotty tells Betty that the dollar amount of Daniel's expense report is equal to the number of stars visible from Earth. "It's just something I know," he explains sheepishly.
He asks if the leaves on her desk are mistletoe. She says no, it's just holly, but he kisses her anyway. Then he says, "you're just the girl I've been looking for."
Betty wakes up sweating, with her heart racing. She covers up a photo of herself and Turd Sandwich, and goes back to sleep.
Next morning
Sofia wakes up in a panic. It's late, and she's going to miss her plane. Daniel says he'll miss her. She suggests that they take a break while she's gone, to find out if what they have is real. Daniel says he loves her. Sofia scoffs. He says he has all the symptoms of love - heart racing, palms sweating, etc. Sofia says that's not love; it's hormones, infatuation, and good sex. He thinks it's more. She tells him to see other women while she's away; if he doesn't have the same reaction with them, that means it's real.
Upset, Betty tells Hilda about her dream. Hilda is dismissive. "Dreams don't mean anything," she says, which is just what you expect someone to say who has long ago given up on whatever dreams she may ever have had. She urges Betty to continue seeing the Turd Sandwich, and avoid Hotty and temptation.
Hilda leaves the room. Dad (out of jail; will see a case worker next month about his immigration status) complains about Hilda's loud voice and acute sense of hearing. Betty remarks that dolphins have the most acute sense of hearing in the animal kingdom. "It's just something I know," she says, echoing Hotty; she grimaces in frustration.
There is a ruckus outside. Hilda has run over Gina's Christmas tree with her car; the tree was in the street because Gina couldn't get it in her house.
At Mode
Fido strolls into Wil's office late. He asks if Nico is coming home for Christmas. Wil says no - she'll be spending the holiday in Dubai with her father.
Wil is angry that Fido has helped himself to the only whole-wheat bagel. He reminds her of her "friend." (Wow, talk about your cheap blackmail schemes.)
At a staff meeting, Daniel says they're over budget and will have to have the Christmas party at the office this year. He also mentions Betty's job offer. (Fido and Fluffy applaud enthusiastically.) He says that anyone who wants to apply for Betty's job should give their resume to her.
Betty is annoyed with him for making the announcement; she wasn't completely sure she wanted to accept Sofia's offer. She thinks Daniel will be helpless without her, and she won't quit unless a suitable replacement is found.
Daniel tells Betty about Sofia's suggestion to take a "break," and shows Betty a collection of friggin' huge engagement rings he borrowed from a jeweler. He's going to decide which one he wants to offer Sofia. Betty says she's glad he's so confident about his decision, because one of their clients is sending over some lingerie samples today - on models.
Betty gets to her desk and finds an anonymous gift - a book. She likes it and assumes it's from Daniel. She waves it at him and gives him a thumbs-up.
Fluffy compliments Betty's sweater (sort of). She says, "did you make it yourself?" Betty says she needs to plan a staff party for $500. Fluffy reminds Betty that she's wanted Betty's job since before either Betty or Daniel worked there. Betty is not sure this is a great idea considering Fluffy's feelings for Daniel, but Fluffy begs for a chance to prove herself. She offers to plan the party. She also gives Betty a large bag of fake snow.
Struggling down the hallway with the bag of snow, Betty runs into Hotty. The bag ruptures, and snow falls all over both of them. He picks some snow out of her hair, then apologizes for being unprofessional. They smack their heads together trying to get the snow off of themselves. "You're just the girl I've been looking for," he says. Betty hastily denies this! Hotty explains that he's doing the budget for the party, so "I'll be on top of you for the next couple of days." Betty is shocked. "Party-wise," he explains. They nearly knock their heads together.
Betty looks through the stack of resumes on her desk. Most of them are unsuitable. The rest are Fluffy's!
The lingerie models arrive. Daniel panics when he sees that one of them is a former girlfriend who broke his heart. He tells Betty she was his "first." First supermodel, that is. Later, Betty sees him chatting with her, so she interrupts them and loudly says that his girlfriend's plane landed safely and that the photo department is waiting for the models.
That evening
Snooping around Daniel's office, Fluffy finds Daniel's engagement ring collection. She tries one of the rings on, and it gets stuck.
Fido snoops under the Christmas tree in Wil's office, shaking all of the packages hopefully. He hears Wil's footsteps and hides behind the tree. Wil calls for him; he stays hidden. Satisfied that she's alone, Wil calls Fey. She tells Fey that Fido won't be a problem much longer. After Wil is done with him, he'll be silenced forever." Fido quakes silently until she leaves. Then he takes a hit off his inhaler.
Brad meets with Mr. Green (his new PI after getting rid of "Chuck"). Mr. Green tells Brad that Fey's remains were collected by a relative; that's why her crypt was empty. He shows Brad the morgue documents; Brad says he's satisfied that Fey really is dead.
Betty accompanies the Turd Sandwich to the Pro Buy staff party. TS introduces the store manager, his boss, and tells Betty he hopes to have his job someday. (I guess it's good that he has some ambition, but you know that if he was more like Betty, he'd hope to OWN Pro Buy someday.)
Betty also meets the store manager's wife, Jackie. Like Betty, Jackie is from Queens and used to work in Manhattan. She says she doesn't miss working there, and is glad she can now work for Pro Buy in Queens. She hates travel and has never even been on a plane. She predicts that Betty will soon get sick of Manhattan too. "We're Queens girls, Betty. Born and bred. We belong here." Betty looks at a Polaroid of herself and Turd Sandwich, and doesn't look convinced.
She asks Jackie when she knew that her husband was "the one." Jackie says she knew right away, and asks Betty when she knew. Betty says she's not sure yet. Jackie tells her that she'll "just know." She tells Betty that TS is already sure about Betty.
Next day
Fido arrives on time and brings Wil a whole-wheat bagel. "Too late," she says, irritated. "Yesterday was carb day." She tells him he'd better be there tonight for the party; she hints at a surprise. She also asks for his home address; she wants to send him a "special delivery." Fido takes another hit off of his inhaler.
Betty finishes up an interview with an airhead and worries that she won't find a good assistant for Daniel. Just then, Fluffy reveals that she has obtained quite a few freebies - champagne, Christmas trees, etc. - from men she knows who owe her "favors." She asks Betty again about the job. Betty says no, because of Daniel.
Betty finds another gift on her desk. This time it's a snowglobe. While she's admiring it, Hotty approaches with some Christmas decorations. She tries to give him the cold shoulder, but he starts sharing useless factoids about snow globes and says that he grew up in Arizona and didn't know what real snow looked like until he came to NY. (Don't they have TV and movies in Arizona? I'm pretty sure they do.) This seems to thaw Betty's shoulder.
They talk about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He says the stop-motion animation technique that was used was called "Animagic." "It's just something I know," he adds sheepishly. He's embarrassed to know so many useless things, but Betty thinks it's cute.
The room gets dark, lit only by the lamp at Betty's desk. He asks if the leaves on her desk ar mistl--
Betty snaps out of the daydream. "They're holly!" she says, and sends him away. (She throws that mischievous sprig of holly away, too.)
Betty throws one of the ornaments at Fluffy to get her attention. Fluffy puts her hand up to protect her hair; it's her ring hand, alas. Betty sees the stuck engagement ring. They rush off to the restroom to talk.
Betty panics. She says the ring must be worth hundreds of dollars. (Could Betty be that stupid? I doubt it.) Betty tries to pull the ring off of Fluffy's finger, but loses her grip and falls.
Fluffy says she knows it looks bad, but she really doesn't have a crush on Daniel any more. She accepts that Daniel has chosen someone else, and promises to get that ring off.
At home, Hilda reviews Justin's Christmas list. One of his wishes is that his grandfather doesn't get carted away again. Hilda looks out the window and catches Gina rearranging their Christmas decorations.
That evening
Hilda retaliates by stealing Gina's lighted reindeer head. Lurking on their front porch, Gina falls and hurts herself (don't be surprised if she sues them in a future episode!) Hilda helps her up. Gina says she's tired of competing with Hilda and wonders out loud why she doesn't give up. Hilda invites her in for some ice (for her injury) and boozy eggnog. Gina reluctantly accepts.
Fido is joined on the elevator by a man wearing sunglasses, an expensive-looking suit and slicked-back hair. He says he's looking for "Marc St. James." (That's Fido.) "I hate that guy," Fido says nervously. Just then, the elevator reaches his floor, and he joins the party already in progress.
Fluffy sees Fido approaching and shoves her bejeweled hand into an ice bucket. He asks her if she has a gun. She says no. He leaves and she gratefully takes her freezing hand out of the bucket. She puts on a glove so no one will see the ring.
Fido hears Wil calling for him and scurries. He runs into Betty and tells her she never saw him. He hides in the restroom.
Christina sits in Santa's lap and unselfishly asks him to give gifts to all her coworkers... courage for Fido, a brain for Fluffy... she likes Santa's beard. They hurry into the restroom. A moment later, Fido rushes out. "And I thought it was bad watching Santa Claus come down the chimney!" he tells Betty. Wil and the apparent hit man finally corner Fido and lead him away.
Fluffy tells Betty she looks radiant. Betty is happy that the party is going so well. Fluffy asks again about the job. Betty admits that she's qualified, but still isn't sure Fluffy can deal with Daniel. Just then, they see him with a model. Fluffy volunteers to take care of it, to prove that she can fill Betty's shoes. (She looks at Betty's shoes and gags, reconsidering.)
Fluffy takes a big swig of champagne and dances up to Daniel and the model, and dances away with the model.
Betty makes eye contact with Hotty and gestures that he has something on his nose. He fixes is. Then she tries to hide from him at Fluffy's desk. He finds her, and she pretends to be looking for something. She randomly pulls something out of Fluffy's purse - a big strip of condoms. He tells her he was just looking for a corkscrew.
The model finds Daniel at his desk, looking through the lingerie catalog. He jokes that he only reads it for the articles. She gets all over him. He doesn't put up a huge fight.
Betty sees. Fluffy sees. Betty sees Fluffy burst into his office. Fluffy yells, "stop kissing that tramp. You are practically engaged!" They separate. Daniel is happy that his hands aren't sweating. He tells the model he's in love with someone else. The model says she'll find another man.
Betty tells Daniel that Fluffy will be his new assistant. She's proven that she can take care of him. "So this is goodbye," Betty says. He gives her a gift - a silver business card holder. The cards inside have her name on them - and in big letters, "M.Y.W." Which is pretty funny, because unless I heard something wrong, the name of Sofia's magazine is "New York Woman," not "Moo York Woman." But I digress.
Daniel tells Betty that she's meant for bigger and better things. They hug. Then Betty realizes that the other gifts weren't from Daniel - so who did they come from?
She catches Hotty's eye again from across the room. They smile at one another for a long while. A passerby briefly blocks her view. Then Betty sees Hotty making out with the rejected lingerie model. Betty looks away, and doesn't get to see Hotty push the model away in disgust.
Betty leaves. He tries to follow, but the elevator doors close before he can reach her.
Fido, Wil, and the apparent hit man are in the parking garage. "Give it to him," Wil commands the hit man. A boop-boop is heard - it's the remote unlock sound from a new Hummer (or something similar). The "hit man" is actually a local auto dealer.
Fido is relieved - and overjoyed. "It's bigger than my apartment," he exclaims. He understands that the vehicle is in exchange for his silence.
Daniel leaves a message on Sofia's voicemail. He tells her that she makes his palms sweat. No one else does. That proves that he loves her. "It's Daniel, by the way," he says before hanging up.
Fluffy has been watching him on the phone. The ring slips off her hand. (My theory is that the swelling in her hands was reduced when all the blood rushed into her head from the effort of thinking. Either that or she got dehydrated from all that champagne.)
Wrap-up
Betty gets home and is surprised to see Hilda and Gina sitting together on the couch talking about makeup, and Dad asking Justin for advice about glitter.
Daniel and Fluffy talk about Fluffy taking over Betty's job. They shake hands and agree to be professionals.
Wil is surprised by a visit from Ted LeBeau, founder of BeauMart.
Betty tells Hilda she's worried that she'll reach the age of 45 without ever flying on a plane. Hilda scoffs. "You can do anything," she says. She reminds Betty that Turd Sandwich loves her. Betty wonders if she should have sweaty hands.
Turd Sandwich arrives and asks why the lights on their house spell "Hilda Sucks." It turns out the book and the snow globe were gifts from TS. Daniel helped. He gives Betty his final gift... a calendar? (I didn't see what the calendar theme was... maybe it's not as lame as it seems.)
Hilda answers the phone. It's Hotty, inviting Betty to come over tomorrow night to watch Rudolph on TV. Hilda sees Betty on the couch with TS and throws the message away.
TS tells Betty that he wants to be supportive and be part of her Manhattan life. They kiss. TS seems content.
Betty looks at her hands. They're dry. Walter doesn't notice. The camera pulls back; Betty and TS get smaller and smaller as a clock ticks louder and louder.
What's next?
Looks like the show is going on break... not sure how long, but probably through December at least. We'll have to wait a while to find out if Sofia feels the same way Daniel does, if "MYW" stays afloat long enough for Betty to prove herself, and if Fluffy can protect Daniel from Wilhelmina's treachery.
Hotty tells Betty that the dollar amount of Daniel's expense report is equal to the number of stars visible from Earth. "It's just something I know," he explains sheepishly.
He asks if the leaves on her desk are mistletoe. She says no, it's just holly, but he kisses her anyway. Then he says, "you're just the girl I've been looking for."
Betty wakes up sweating, with her heart racing. She covers up a photo of herself and Turd Sandwich, and goes back to sleep.
Next morning
Sofia wakes up in a panic. It's late, and she's going to miss her plane. Daniel says he'll miss her. She suggests that they take a break while she's gone, to find out if what they have is real. Daniel says he loves her. Sofia scoffs. He says he has all the symptoms of love - heart racing, palms sweating, etc. Sofia says that's not love; it's hormones, infatuation, and good sex. He thinks it's more. She tells him to see other women while she's away; if he doesn't have the same reaction with them, that means it's real.
Upset, Betty tells Hilda about her dream. Hilda is dismissive. "Dreams don't mean anything," she says, which is just what you expect someone to say who has long ago given up on whatever dreams she may ever have had. She urges Betty to continue seeing the Turd Sandwich, and avoid Hotty and temptation.
Hilda leaves the room. Dad (out of jail; will see a case worker next month about his immigration status) complains about Hilda's loud voice and acute sense of hearing. Betty remarks that dolphins have the most acute sense of hearing in the animal kingdom. "It's just something I know," she says, echoing Hotty; she grimaces in frustration.
There is a ruckus outside. Hilda has run over Gina's Christmas tree with her car; the tree was in the street because Gina couldn't get it in her house.
At Mode
Fido strolls into Wil's office late. He asks if Nico is coming home for Christmas. Wil says no - she'll be spending the holiday in Dubai with her father.
Wil is angry that Fido has helped himself to the only whole-wheat bagel. He reminds her of her "friend." (Wow, talk about your cheap blackmail schemes.)
At a staff meeting, Daniel says they're over budget and will have to have the Christmas party at the office this year. He also mentions Betty's job offer. (Fido and Fluffy applaud enthusiastically.) He says that anyone who wants to apply for Betty's job should give their resume to her.
Betty is annoyed with him for making the announcement; she wasn't completely sure she wanted to accept Sofia's offer. She thinks Daniel will be helpless without her, and she won't quit unless a suitable replacement is found.
Daniel tells Betty about Sofia's suggestion to take a "break," and shows Betty a collection of friggin' huge engagement rings he borrowed from a jeweler. He's going to decide which one he wants to offer Sofia. Betty says she's glad he's so confident about his decision, because one of their clients is sending over some lingerie samples today - on models.
Betty gets to her desk and finds an anonymous gift - a book. She likes it and assumes it's from Daniel. She waves it at him and gives him a thumbs-up.
Fluffy compliments Betty's sweater (sort of). She says, "did you make it yourself?" Betty says she needs to plan a staff party for $500. Fluffy reminds Betty that she's wanted Betty's job since before either Betty or Daniel worked there. Betty is not sure this is a great idea considering Fluffy's feelings for Daniel, but Fluffy begs for a chance to prove herself. She offers to plan the party. She also gives Betty a large bag of fake snow.
Struggling down the hallway with the bag of snow, Betty runs into Hotty. The bag ruptures, and snow falls all over both of them. He picks some snow out of her hair, then apologizes for being unprofessional. They smack their heads together trying to get the snow off of themselves. "You're just the girl I've been looking for," he says. Betty hastily denies this! Hotty explains that he's doing the budget for the party, so "I'll be on top of you for the next couple of days." Betty is shocked. "Party-wise," he explains. They nearly knock their heads together.
Betty looks through the stack of resumes on her desk. Most of them are unsuitable. The rest are Fluffy's!
The lingerie models arrive. Daniel panics when he sees that one of them is a former girlfriend who broke his heart. He tells Betty she was his "first." First supermodel, that is. Later, Betty sees him chatting with her, so she interrupts them and loudly says that his girlfriend's plane landed safely and that the photo department is waiting for the models.
That evening
Snooping around Daniel's office, Fluffy finds Daniel's engagement ring collection. She tries one of the rings on, and it gets stuck.
Fido snoops under the Christmas tree in Wil's office, shaking all of the packages hopefully. He hears Wil's footsteps and hides behind the tree. Wil calls for him; he stays hidden. Satisfied that she's alone, Wil calls Fey. She tells Fey that Fido won't be a problem much longer. After Wil is done with him, he'll be silenced forever." Fido quakes silently until she leaves. Then he takes a hit off his inhaler.
Brad meets with Mr. Green (his new PI after getting rid of "Chuck"). Mr. Green tells Brad that Fey's remains were collected by a relative; that's why her crypt was empty. He shows Brad the morgue documents; Brad says he's satisfied that Fey really is dead.
Betty accompanies the Turd Sandwich to the Pro Buy staff party. TS introduces the store manager, his boss, and tells Betty he hopes to have his job someday. (I guess it's good that he has some ambition, but you know that if he was more like Betty, he'd hope to OWN Pro Buy someday.)
Betty also meets the store manager's wife, Jackie. Like Betty, Jackie is from Queens and used to work in Manhattan. She says she doesn't miss working there, and is glad she can now work for Pro Buy in Queens. She hates travel and has never even been on a plane. She predicts that Betty will soon get sick of Manhattan too. "We're Queens girls, Betty. Born and bred. We belong here." Betty looks at a Polaroid of herself and Turd Sandwich, and doesn't look convinced.
She asks Jackie when she knew that her husband was "the one." Jackie says she knew right away, and asks Betty when she knew. Betty says she's not sure yet. Jackie tells her that she'll "just know." She tells Betty that TS is already sure about Betty.
Next day
Fido arrives on time and brings Wil a whole-wheat bagel. "Too late," she says, irritated. "Yesterday was carb day." She tells him he'd better be there tonight for the party; she hints at a surprise. She also asks for his home address; she wants to send him a "special delivery." Fido takes another hit off of his inhaler.
Betty finishes up an interview with an airhead and worries that she won't find a good assistant for Daniel. Just then, Fluffy reveals that she has obtained quite a few freebies - champagne, Christmas trees, etc. - from men she knows who owe her "favors." She asks Betty again about the job. Betty says no, because of Daniel.
Betty finds another gift on her desk. This time it's a snowglobe. While she's admiring it, Hotty approaches with some Christmas decorations. She tries to give him the cold shoulder, but he starts sharing useless factoids about snow globes and says that he grew up in Arizona and didn't know what real snow looked like until he came to NY. (Don't they have TV and movies in Arizona? I'm pretty sure they do.) This seems to thaw Betty's shoulder.
They talk about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He says the stop-motion animation technique that was used was called "Animagic." "It's just something I know," he adds sheepishly. He's embarrassed to know so many useless things, but Betty thinks it's cute.
The room gets dark, lit only by the lamp at Betty's desk. He asks if the leaves on her desk ar mistl--
Betty snaps out of the daydream. "They're holly!" she says, and sends him away. (She throws that mischievous sprig of holly away, too.)
Betty throws one of the ornaments at Fluffy to get her attention. Fluffy puts her hand up to protect her hair; it's her ring hand, alas. Betty sees the stuck engagement ring. They rush off to the restroom to talk.
Betty panics. She says the ring must be worth hundreds of dollars. (Could Betty be that stupid? I doubt it.) Betty tries to pull the ring off of Fluffy's finger, but loses her grip and falls.
Fluffy says she knows it looks bad, but she really doesn't have a crush on Daniel any more. She accepts that Daniel has chosen someone else, and promises to get that ring off.
At home, Hilda reviews Justin's Christmas list. One of his wishes is that his grandfather doesn't get carted away again. Hilda looks out the window and catches Gina rearranging their Christmas decorations.
That evening
Hilda retaliates by stealing Gina's lighted reindeer head. Lurking on their front porch, Gina falls and hurts herself (don't be surprised if she sues them in a future episode!) Hilda helps her up. Gina says she's tired of competing with Hilda and wonders out loud why she doesn't give up. Hilda invites her in for some ice (for her injury) and boozy eggnog. Gina reluctantly accepts.
Fido is joined on the elevator by a man wearing sunglasses, an expensive-looking suit and slicked-back hair. He says he's looking for "Marc St. James." (That's Fido.) "I hate that guy," Fido says nervously. Just then, the elevator reaches his floor, and he joins the party already in progress.
Fluffy sees Fido approaching and shoves her bejeweled hand into an ice bucket. He asks her if she has a gun. She says no. He leaves and she gratefully takes her freezing hand out of the bucket. She puts on a glove so no one will see the ring.
Fido hears Wil calling for him and scurries. He runs into Betty and tells her she never saw him. He hides in the restroom.
Christina sits in Santa's lap and unselfishly asks him to give gifts to all her coworkers... courage for Fido, a brain for Fluffy... she likes Santa's beard. They hurry into the restroom. A moment later, Fido rushes out. "And I thought it was bad watching Santa Claus come down the chimney!" he tells Betty. Wil and the apparent hit man finally corner Fido and lead him away.
Fluffy tells Betty she looks radiant. Betty is happy that the party is going so well. Fluffy asks again about the job. Betty admits that she's qualified, but still isn't sure Fluffy can deal with Daniel. Just then, they see him with a model. Fluffy volunteers to take care of it, to prove that she can fill Betty's shoes. (She looks at Betty's shoes and gags, reconsidering.)
Fluffy takes a big swig of champagne and dances up to Daniel and the model, and dances away with the model.
Betty makes eye contact with Hotty and gestures that he has something on his nose. He fixes is. Then she tries to hide from him at Fluffy's desk. He finds her, and she pretends to be looking for something. She randomly pulls something out of Fluffy's purse - a big strip of condoms. He tells her he was just looking for a corkscrew.
The model finds Daniel at his desk, looking through the lingerie catalog. He jokes that he only reads it for the articles. She gets all over him. He doesn't put up a huge fight.
Betty sees. Fluffy sees. Betty sees Fluffy burst into his office. Fluffy yells, "stop kissing that tramp. You are practically engaged!" They separate. Daniel is happy that his hands aren't sweating. He tells the model he's in love with someone else. The model says she'll find another man.
Betty tells Daniel that Fluffy will be his new assistant. She's proven that she can take care of him. "So this is goodbye," Betty says. He gives her a gift - a silver business card holder. The cards inside have her name on them - and in big letters, "M.Y.W." Which is pretty funny, because unless I heard something wrong, the name of Sofia's magazine is "New York Woman," not "Moo York Woman." But I digress.
Daniel tells Betty that she's meant for bigger and better things. They hug. Then Betty realizes that the other gifts weren't from Daniel - so who did they come from?
She catches Hotty's eye again from across the room. They smile at one another for a long while. A passerby briefly blocks her view. Then Betty sees Hotty making out with the rejected lingerie model. Betty looks away, and doesn't get to see Hotty push the model away in disgust.
Betty leaves. He tries to follow, but the elevator doors close before he can reach her.
Fido, Wil, and the apparent hit man are in the parking garage. "Give it to him," Wil commands the hit man. A boop-boop is heard - it's the remote unlock sound from a new Hummer (or something similar). The "hit man" is actually a local auto dealer.
Fido is relieved - and overjoyed. "It's bigger than my apartment," he exclaims. He understands that the vehicle is in exchange for his silence.
Daniel leaves a message on Sofia's voicemail. He tells her that she makes his palms sweat. No one else does. That proves that he loves her. "It's Daniel, by the way," he says before hanging up.
Fluffy has been watching him on the phone. The ring slips off her hand. (My theory is that the swelling in her hands was reduced when all the blood rushed into her head from the effort of thinking. Either that or she got dehydrated from all that champagne.)
Wrap-up
Betty gets home and is surprised to see Hilda and Gina sitting together on the couch talking about makeup, and Dad asking Justin for advice about glitter.
Daniel and Fluffy talk about Fluffy taking over Betty's job. They shake hands and agree to be professionals.
Wil is surprised by a visit from Ted LeBeau, founder of BeauMart.
Betty tells Hilda she's worried that she'll reach the age of 45 without ever flying on a plane. Hilda scoffs. "You can do anything," she says. She reminds Betty that Turd Sandwich loves her. Betty wonders if she should have sweaty hands.
Turd Sandwich arrives and asks why the lights on their house spell "Hilda Sucks." It turns out the book and the snow globe were gifts from TS. Daniel helped. He gives Betty his final gift... a calendar? (I didn't see what the calendar theme was... maybe it's not as lame as it seems.)
Hilda answers the phone. It's Hotty, inviting Betty to come over tomorrow night to watch Rudolph on TV. Hilda sees Betty on the couch with TS and throws the message away.
TS tells Betty that he wants to be supportive and be part of her Manhattan life. They kiss. TS seems content.
Betty looks at her hands. They're dry. Walter doesn't notice. The camera pulls back; Betty and TS get smaller and smaller as a clock ticks louder and louder.
What's next?
Looks like the show is going on break... not sure how long, but probably through December at least. We'll have to wait a while to find out if Sofia feels the same way Daniel does, if "MYW" stays afloat long enough for Betty to prove herself, and if Fluffy can protect Daniel from Wilhelmina's treachery.
2006-11-27
11/23/06: An Unlikely Story
(Sorry for the delay.)
It's the day after Thanksgiving, and Daniel wakes up in a strange bed with Little Mermaid sheets. The first thing he sees is a framed photo of Betty in her graduation cap and gown, which is an odd thing for Betty to keep next to her own bed, but perhaps that's one of the secret habits of highly effective people.
Betty greets him and explains that she brought him home from the bar because he lives alone and she didn't want him to choke to death on his own vomit. (If that isn't love, what is?) He asks Betty where she slept - she jokes "in your arms," but the look on his face suggests that his hangover is greater than his sense of humor. He whines about Sofia, and Betty tries to reassure him that things could change.
Betty leaves Daniel to sleeps some more and joins her father in the kitchen. Dad gripes that Betty has to work on a paid company holiday, but she says it's just for the morning to take care of some quick paperwork. She asks her father to offer Daniel breakfast if he gets up before she gets home, and don't mention Sofia's name.
Santos enters the kitchen wearing a pretty kimono (technically I think it might be a yukata), presumably Hilda's. He playfully shoves Betty, causing her to spill her coffee. Dad is not particularly happy to see him.
Time to split up the stories.
Betty as Editor-in-Chief
Sofia is writing a note at Daniel's desk and asks Betty if Daniel is coming in. She's upset that he hasn't returned any of her calls or messages. She's going to Maine tonight, because Hunter found them a house and probably wants to get married this weekend. She confesses that she's not sure she wants this, and that she has feelings for Daniel. (Lust? Pity? Contempt? I'm not really sure where this is coming from. He's attractive enough, but I don't understand why an independent woman like Sofia would be particularly interested in him, since he hasn't shown her a lot of depth.) She seems very insecure and asks Betty for advice; suddenly, Betty is very eager to work.
Brad comes looking for Daniel; Betty assures him that Daniel is on the way. Brad explains that fictitious movie stars Tim & Chloe are passing through New York. They've decided to let Mode publish the first photos of their baby Chutney. Several employees are being called in to prepare for the shoot. Sofia volunteers to write the copy for the article, since they are short-staffed (and since she's probably hoping to see Daniel). Betty calls Daniel at home, but he says he's too sick to come in; in fact, he's still drunk.
The stylist arrives, accompanied by Fluffy. He is snotty with Betty and won't speak to her; she assures him that Daniel is on the way. The stylist asks Betty to get him some coffee. When she comes back with it, she hears him telling Fluffy of his brilliant idea to dump water on the baby and catch that surprised look on her face. Betty questions this. He pointedly ignores her and refuses the coffee.
Betty calls Wil, who says this guy is great so let him do what he wants. She calls home, but Sofia overhears Betty asking to speak to Daniel and wants to talk to him; Daniel begs off, and Betty has to hang up. Sofia asks if Daniel asked about her (I can't believe this desperate woman is the same Sofia we met just a few weeks ago).
The stylist looks at a row of mannequin babies dressed in creepy outfits; he picks the creepiest - "chainlink armor?" Betty asks incredulously ("chainmail," Fluffy the secret geek corrects her, just a little too quickly). "Daniel is on his way," she asserts hastily. The stylist insults her.
Christina and Betty search through the Closet for something a little safer for the baby to wear, like a plastic bag. Betty calls Daniel yet again. By now, he is stringing popcorn and cranberries for the Christmas tree. Seriously. He would much rather talk about that than the photo shoot; he tells Betty to handle it.
The stylist receives a sneak preview photo of Chutney and panics. He says the baby is butt-ugly and he will need more time. Betty suggests that his concept of beauty might be too narrow; she points out that his tasteless Courtney Love cover was their lowest-selling issue. (Sofia beams with pride.) He asks Betty if she's firing him; then he quits to save face. Sofia tells him that Betty is the boss for the day.
Betty tries to reach Wil on the phone; Sofia realizes that Daniel isn't coming in. Betty admits that he's hung over... because Sofia broke his heart.
Fluffy interrupts them; the staff are waiting for directions. Betty scrambles (via montage) to arrange the shoot herself. She chooses the Regal Park Arboretum in Queens to do an Adam & Eve in the jungle theme. Instead, Daniel calls and suggests that they do it at her house instead, now that he and Betty's family have decorated it for Christmas. Taking pictures in a family setting will complement Tim & Chloe's working-class backgrounds.
Betty bums a ride home with Sofia. Sofia suspects that it was Betty's idea to do the shoot at her house (oh, the irony!). When they get to Betty's house, Sofia coyly points out that Betty could have gotten a ride with Christina instead. Betty confesses that she doesn't want to tell Daniel that Sofia will come back on Monday as Mrs. Hunter. Sofia agrees to wait outside for Daniel; she squirts her mouth to freshen her breath, then chokes - she squirted cologne by mistake (a sly nod to the original Colombian series).
Looking through the window, Betty is sad that Daniel didn't use her idea. Sofia says that Betty is wasting her time working at Mode; they'll never appreciate her there. She tells Betty she should come work at New York Woman instead; she'll have her own assistant within a year.
That is, if that magazine doesn't fold before then, as I predict it will. Sofia is sweet to be so kind to Betty, but the truth is, Daniel had the better idea this time. If Sofia can't see that, she may not be able to make the best decisions for her own magazine, either. The best way she can help Betty is to teach her to develop a thicker skin, rather than treat her as though her every idea is pure genius.
But anyway. On with the comic relief.
Wil & Fido
First thing that morning, Wil questions Fido about the condition of her office. Fido pretends to be shocked. She asks where he was yesterday; he says he was in Schenectady with his family watching The Sound of Music. She confronts him with some evidence: a half-eaten cashew she found under her chaise. As the phone rings, she asks him to analyze the teeth marks.
Fido tries to listen in on the phone call, but it's only Brad, telling them about the photo shoot with Tim, Chloe, and baby Chutney. He sends them to the airport to pick up the celebrities.
The two of them conduct some telephone business in the car: While Wil reassures Betty about the stylist, Fido texts Fluffy to warn her of Wil's suspicion. Wil asks Fido where Fluffy spent her Thanksgiving. He tells her she was in Vermont. Wil says that it's strange that she got back so fast. Fido is trying to change the subject when his phone rings. Wil grabs the phone out of Fido's hand to read Fluffy's incriminating reply. She is especially upset about the phone call they made from her office. She throws his phone out the car window.
Their car gets a flat, so they continue in a taxi. Fido whines that his parents wanted to set him up with a girl from their church. Wil ominously warns Fido that she may not be able to protect him from the person he called.
They are extremely rude to the cab driver, so he kicks them out in a bad neighborhood. Wil forgets her purse, so now they are without a phone or money. They approach some hookers to ask them for money. One of the hookers admires her albino lynx stole. Wil attempts to be "street" and Fido pretends to be her pimp; the hookers get offended and chase them away.
They take shelter in a candlelit, semi-abandoned storefront church. Talking to herself, Wil expresses disappointment that she screwed up, and that she spends all of her time trying to cover Daniel's job and taking over the company. Fido unwisely repeats that last part, and Wil snaps, "I would never say that." She laments that her leadership skills are on the decline.
"It has to get really dark before it can get light again," Fido announces, mangling a well-known quote. He turns on an electric light, which shines directly on the cashbox for the candles. She takes off a white (cowboy?) boot to bust the clasp and open the box. They take the money inside, which is all singles. "Poor people are so cheap," Wil complains. She takes off an earring and leaves it in the box.
They use the money to get back to the office. Fluffy calls from the photo shoot at Betty's house (she is eating the roof off of a gingerbread house) to find out if she's fired. Fido says no. I guess Wil thinks they know too much already.
Fey calls on the office phone and dryly explains to Fido she's "an old friend from college." "Which you never went to," Fido remarks to Wil. Fey has already figured out Wil's cell phone was stolen, since the cab driver is now answering it. Fido wants to get in on the conversation. Wil hurriedly says goodbye to Fey to negotiate with Fido. He wants job security, a title, and company credit card. (Probably also a pay increase and a new cell phone.)
Daniel
Rewind to morning...
Daniel gets up and tries to sneak out while the family (plus Santos) have breakfast. He overhears them discussing whether or not they should have a Christmas tree, due to financial problems. Dad asks Daniel to stay for breakfast.
Still wearing Hilda's kimono, Santos introduces himself as "Hilda's, uh, Justin's father." Santos is filled with admiration - he knows Daniel to be a serious player. Dad serves Daniel a plate of huevos rancheros, which sends Daniel fleeing from the table.
Dad takes Daniel's temperature; he's got a fever. Betty calls to tell Daniel about the Tim/Chloe/Chutney crisis, but Daniel says he's too sick to come in, he's still drunk, he's a mess. (He's still raving about "the Chin" Hunter.)
A Christmas tree arrives - Daniel tells Betty he ordered it to make up for throwing up in four rooms of their house. He hangs up.
Sounding like Fluffy, Justin declares "Oh. My. God." at the sight of the huge tree. They struggle to get it through the door. Santos wants to cut off some of the branches and asks Justin if he has a saw. (Why is he asking a kid? Why not ask Dad?) Hilda gets one. Justin tells Daniel about an issue of Mode that he especially liked, an article about some Hungarian queen. Still in denial, Santos expresses surprise that Justin is interested in history; Justin goes on to say that this queen had flawless skin.
Dad pulls Hilda aside and asks her how much longer Santos is going to be hanging around. Hilda gets huffy with him.
Looking through a box of Christmas ornaments, Daniel is impressed that all of them were made by the family. They talk about Betty's glitter phase and invite him to hang an ornament, but he doesn't know how. He says they always had cool trees when he was a kid, but they weren't allowed to touch them.
They discuss a particular ornament that Justin made from fabric store supplies. This annoys Santos, who offers to play football outside with him, but Justin wants to work on the tree. Santos insists, "come out and be a normal kid for an hour." Daniel cheerfully protests that he needs Justin's help with the tree; he tells Santos that Justin has a gift. Santos complains that Justin isn't being raised properly or learning appropriate manly arts. (What would those be, Santos? Gambling? Deserting your family?) Hilda pulls Santos aside and defends Justin. Santos stomps out, muttering "don't say I didn't try."
Daniel asks Justin for help with an ornament. Justin morosely tries to fix it.
The family gives Daniel a little stocking to hang on the tree. He apologizes to Dad for getting into the debate with Santos, but Dad tells him he'll be a great dad someday.
All this mushy family togetherness gives Daniel an idea. He calls Betty and tells her to do the Chutney photo shoot at her house.
Wrap-up
The entire on-duty staff goes to Betty's house for the shoot. (Daniel tells Fluffy not to touch the tree.) Daniel asks Dad how to say "I love you and I can't live without you" in Spanish.
Betty goes into the house while Sofia waits outside. Betty tells Daniel about Sofia's plan to go to Maine to possibly marry Hunter. He goes outside to talk to Sofia. (Snow falls.) He says he hasn't been eager to be a family man because his own family sucks, but he asks her for another chance. He mangles his Spanish, but charms her with a homemade dove made out of jellybeans. He asks her to cancel her trip to Maine and help him pick out a Christmas tree. She agrees, and they kiss.
Later, in the house, Daniel talls Betty that Sofia isn't going to Maine after all, and that she told him about the job offer she had made to Betty. Daniel encourages Betty to take the job and pursue her dream.
After the shoot (which we don't see), Betty begins to tell her family about Sofia's job offer. They are impressed that two magazines want her, but they are interrupted by the doorbell. Dad gets up to answer the door, and is arrested.
Next week
The return of Henry, aka Hotty.
It's the day after Thanksgiving, and Daniel wakes up in a strange bed with Little Mermaid sheets. The first thing he sees is a framed photo of Betty in her graduation cap and gown, which is an odd thing for Betty to keep next to her own bed, but perhaps that's one of the secret habits of highly effective people.
Betty greets him and explains that she brought him home from the bar because he lives alone and she didn't want him to choke to death on his own vomit. (If that isn't love, what is?) He asks Betty where she slept - she jokes "in your arms," but the look on his face suggests that his hangover is greater than his sense of humor. He whines about Sofia, and Betty tries to reassure him that things could change.
Betty leaves Daniel to sleeps some more and joins her father in the kitchen. Dad gripes that Betty has to work on a paid company holiday, but she says it's just for the morning to take care of some quick paperwork. She asks her father to offer Daniel breakfast if he gets up before she gets home, and don't mention Sofia's name.
Santos enters the kitchen wearing a pretty kimono (technically I think it might be a yukata), presumably Hilda's. He playfully shoves Betty, causing her to spill her coffee. Dad is not particularly happy to see him.
Time to split up the stories.
Betty as Editor-in-Chief
Sofia is writing a note at Daniel's desk and asks Betty if Daniel is coming in. She's upset that he hasn't returned any of her calls or messages. She's going to Maine tonight, because Hunter found them a house and probably wants to get married this weekend. She confesses that she's not sure she wants this, and that she has feelings for Daniel. (Lust? Pity? Contempt? I'm not really sure where this is coming from. He's attractive enough, but I don't understand why an independent woman like Sofia would be particularly interested in him, since he hasn't shown her a lot of depth.) She seems very insecure and asks Betty for advice; suddenly, Betty is very eager to work.
Brad comes looking for Daniel; Betty assures him that Daniel is on the way. Brad explains that fictitious movie stars Tim & Chloe are passing through New York. They've decided to let Mode publish the first photos of their baby Chutney. Several employees are being called in to prepare for the shoot. Sofia volunteers to write the copy for the article, since they are short-staffed (and since she's probably hoping to see Daniel). Betty calls Daniel at home, but he says he's too sick to come in; in fact, he's still drunk.
The stylist arrives, accompanied by Fluffy. He is snotty with Betty and won't speak to her; she assures him that Daniel is on the way. The stylist asks Betty to get him some coffee. When she comes back with it, she hears him telling Fluffy of his brilliant idea to dump water on the baby and catch that surprised look on her face. Betty questions this. He pointedly ignores her and refuses the coffee.
Betty calls Wil, who says this guy is great so let him do what he wants. She calls home, but Sofia overhears Betty asking to speak to Daniel and wants to talk to him; Daniel begs off, and Betty has to hang up. Sofia asks if Daniel asked about her (I can't believe this desperate woman is the same Sofia we met just a few weeks ago).
The stylist looks at a row of mannequin babies dressed in creepy outfits; he picks the creepiest - "chainlink armor?" Betty asks incredulously ("chainmail," Fluffy the secret geek corrects her, just a little too quickly). "Daniel is on his way," she asserts hastily. The stylist insults her.
Christina and Betty search through the Closet for something a little safer for the baby to wear, like a plastic bag. Betty calls Daniel yet again. By now, he is stringing popcorn and cranberries for the Christmas tree. Seriously. He would much rather talk about that than the photo shoot; he tells Betty to handle it.
The stylist receives a sneak preview photo of Chutney and panics. He says the baby is butt-ugly and he will need more time. Betty suggests that his concept of beauty might be too narrow; she points out that his tasteless Courtney Love cover was their lowest-selling issue. (Sofia beams with pride.) He asks Betty if she's firing him; then he quits to save face. Sofia tells him that Betty is the boss for the day.
Betty tries to reach Wil on the phone; Sofia realizes that Daniel isn't coming in. Betty admits that he's hung over... because Sofia broke his heart.
Fluffy interrupts them; the staff are waiting for directions. Betty scrambles (via montage) to arrange the shoot herself. She chooses the Regal Park Arboretum in Queens to do an Adam & Eve in the jungle theme. Instead, Daniel calls and suggests that they do it at her house instead, now that he and Betty's family have decorated it for Christmas. Taking pictures in a family setting will complement Tim & Chloe's working-class backgrounds.
Betty bums a ride home with Sofia. Sofia suspects that it was Betty's idea to do the shoot at her house (oh, the irony!). When they get to Betty's house, Sofia coyly points out that Betty could have gotten a ride with Christina instead. Betty confesses that she doesn't want to tell Daniel that Sofia will come back on Monday as Mrs. Hunter. Sofia agrees to wait outside for Daniel; she squirts her mouth to freshen her breath, then chokes - she squirted cologne by mistake (a sly nod to the original Colombian series).
Looking through the window, Betty is sad that Daniel didn't use her idea. Sofia says that Betty is wasting her time working at Mode; they'll never appreciate her there. She tells Betty she should come work at New York Woman instead; she'll have her own assistant within a year.
That is, if that magazine doesn't fold before then, as I predict it will. Sofia is sweet to be so kind to Betty, but the truth is, Daniel had the better idea this time. If Sofia can't see that, she may not be able to make the best decisions for her own magazine, either. The best way she can help Betty is to teach her to develop a thicker skin, rather than treat her as though her every idea is pure genius.
But anyway. On with the comic relief.
Wil & Fido
First thing that morning, Wil questions Fido about the condition of her office. Fido pretends to be shocked. She asks where he was yesterday; he says he was in Schenectady with his family watching The Sound of Music. She confronts him with some evidence: a half-eaten cashew she found under her chaise. As the phone rings, she asks him to analyze the teeth marks.
Fido tries to listen in on the phone call, but it's only Brad, telling them about the photo shoot with Tim, Chloe, and baby Chutney. He sends them to the airport to pick up the celebrities.
The two of them conduct some telephone business in the car: While Wil reassures Betty about the stylist, Fido texts Fluffy to warn her of Wil's suspicion. Wil asks Fido where Fluffy spent her Thanksgiving. He tells her she was in Vermont. Wil says that it's strange that she got back so fast. Fido is trying to change the subject when his phone rings. Wil grabs the phone out of Fido's hand to read Fluffy's incriminating reply. She is especially upset about the phone call they made from her office. She throws his phone out the car window.
Their car gets a flat, so they continue in a taxi. Fido whines that his parents wanted to set him up with a girl from their church. Wil ominously warns Fido that she may not be able to protect him from the person he called.
They are extremely rude to the cab driver, so he kicks them out in a bad neighborhood. Wil forgets her purse, so now they are without a phone or money. They approach some hookers to ask them for money. One of the hookers admires her albino lynx stole. Wil attempts to be "street" and Fido pretends to be her pimp; the hookers get offended and chase them away.
They take shelter in a candlelit, semi-abandoned storefront church. Talking to herself, Wil expresses disappointment that she screwed up, and that she spends all of her time trying to cover Daniel's job and taking over the company. Fido unwisely repeats that last part, and Wil snaps, "I would never say that." She laments that her leadership skills are on the decline.
"It has to get really dark before it can get light again," Fido announces, mangling a well-known quote. He turns on an electric light, which shines directly on the cashbox for the candles. She takes off a white (cowboy?) boot to bust the clasp and open the box. They take the money inside, which is all singles. "Poor people are so cheap," Wil complains. She takes off an earring and leaves it in the box.
They use the money to get back to the office. Fluffy calls from the photo shoot at Betty's house (she is eating the roof off of a gingerbread house) to find out if she's fired. Fido says no. I guess Wil thinks they know too much already.
Fey calls on the office phone and dryly explains to Fido she's "an old friend from college." "Which you never went to," Fido remarks to Wil. Fey has already figured out Wil's cell phone was stolen, since the cab driver is now answering it. Fido wants to get in on the conversation. Wil hurriedly says goodbye to Fey to negotiate with Fido. He wants job security, a title, and company credit card. (Probably also a pay increase and a new cell phone.)
Daniel
Rewind to morning...
Daniel gets up and tries to sneak out while the family (plus Santos) have breakfast. He overhears them discussing whether or not they should have a Christmas tree, due to financial problems. Dad asks Daniel to stay for breakfast.
Still wearing Hilda's kimono, Santos introduces himself as "Hilda's, uh, Justin's father." Santos is filled with admiration - he knows Daniel to be a serious player. Dad serves Daniel a plate of huevos rancheros, which sends Daniel fleeing from the table.
Dad takes Daniel's temperature; he's got a fever. Betty calls to tell Daniel about the Tim/Chloe/Chutney crisis, but Daniel says he's too sick to come in, he's still drunk, he's a mess. (He's still raving about "the Chin" Hunter.)
A Christmas tree arrives - Daniel tells Betty he ordered it to make up for throwing up in four rooms of their house. He hangs up.
Sounding like Fluffy, Justin declares "Oh. My. God." at the sight of the huge tree. They struggle to get it through the door. Santos wants to cut off some of the branches and asks Justin if he has a saw. (Why is he asking a kid? Why not ask Dad?) Hilda gets one. Justin tells Daniel about an issue of Mode that he especially liked, an article about some Hungarian queen. Still in denial, Santos expresses surprise that Justin is interested in history; Justin goes on to say that this queen had flawless skin.
Dad pulls Hilda aside and asks her how much longer Santos is going to be hanging around. Hilda gets huffy with him.
Looking through a box of Christmas ornaments, Daniel is impressed that all of them were made by the family. They talk about Betty's glitter phase and invite him to hang an ornament, but he doesn't know how. He says they always had cool trees when he was a kid, but they weren't allowed to touch them.
They discuss a particular ornament that Justin made from fabric store supplies. This annoys Santos, who offers to play football outside with him, but Justin wants to work on the tree. Santos insists, "come out and be a normal kid for an hour." Daniel cheerfully protests that he needs Justin's help with the tree; he tells Santos that Justin has a gift. Santos complains that Justin isn't being raised properly or learning appropriate manly arts. (What would those be, Santos? Gambling? Deserting your family?) Hilda pulls Santos aside and defends Justin. Santos stomps out, muttering "don't say I didn't try."
Daniel asks Justin for help with an ornament. Justin morosely tries to fix it.
The family gives Daniel a little stocking to hang on the tree. He apologizes to Dad for getting into the debate with Santos, but Dad tells him he'll be a great dad someday.
All this mushy family togetherness gives Daniel an idea. He calls Betty and tells her to do the Chutney photo shoot at her house.
Wrap-up
The entire on-duty staff goes to Betty's house for the shoot. (Daniel tells Fluffy not to touch the tree.) Daniel asks Dad how to say "I love you and I can't live without you" in Spanish.
Betty goes into the house while Sofia waits outside. Betty tells Daniel about Sofia's plan to go to Maine to possibly marry Hunter. He goes outside to talk to Sofia. (Snow falls.) He says he hasn't been eager to be a family man because his own family sucks, but he asks her for another chance. He mangles his Spanish, but charms her with a homemade dove made out of jellybeans. He asks her to cancel her trip to Maine and help him pick out a Christmas tree. She agrees, and they kiss.
Later, in the house, Daniel talls Betty that Sofia isn't going to Maine after all, and that she told him about the job offer she had made to Betty. Daniel encourages Betty to take the job and pursue her dream.
After the shoot (which we don't see), Betty begins to tell her family about Sofia's job offer. They are impressed that two magazines want her, but they are interrupted by the doorbell. Dad gets up to answer the door, and is arrested.
Next week
The return of Henry, aka Hotty.
2006-11-24
11/23/06: Mini-recap
It's the day after Thanksgiving, and fictitious movie stars Tim & Chloe are passing through New York. They've decided to let Mode publish the first photos of their baby Chutney. So, even though it's a company holiday, several employees have been called in to prepare for the shoot.
Betty as Editor-in-Chief: Betty goes to the office to take care of some quick paperwork. Sofia is there and complains that Daniel has not returned any of her calls or messages. She has to go to Maine tonight, because Hunter found them a house and probably wants to get married this weekend. She admits that she's not sure she wants this and has feelings for Daniel.
Brad comes looking for Daniel and explains to Betty about the Chutney photo shoot. Betty assures him that Daniel is on the way. Sofia volunteers to write the copy for the article. The stylist arrives, but he is snotty with Betty and his ideas include dressing the baby in chainmail and dumping water on her. Betty calls Wil, who says this guy is great so let him do what he wants; she calls Daniel, who is recuperating from a hangover at Betty's house, but he's too sick to come in and tells Betty to handle everything.
The stylist receives a sneak preview photo of Chutney and panics. He says the baby is butt-ugly and he will need more time. Betty questions the stylist's competence and he quits. Sofia beams with pride, but also realizes that Daniel isn't coming in. Betty tells Sofia that he's hung over... because she broke his heart.
Betty scrambles to arrange the shoot. She chooses a park in Queens to do an Adam & Eve in the jungle theme. Daniel calls and suggests that they do it at her house instead, now that it's decorated for Christmas. It will complement Tim & Chloe's working-class backgrounds. She bums a ride home with Sofia and tells her that she doesn't want to tell Daniel that Sofia will come back on Monday as Mrs. Hunter.
Sofia says that Betty is wasting her time working at Mode; they'll never appreciate her there. She offers Betty a job at her magazine instead. She says Betty will have her own assistant within a year.
Wil & Fido: Wil is angry about the condition of her office and asks Fido to analyze the teeth marks on a cashew she found under her chaise. Brad sends them to the airport to pick up the celebrities. In the car, Fido texts Fluffy to warn her of Wil's suspicion; Fluffy texts back a very incriminating reply. Wil grabs the phone out of his hand, reads the reply and throws his phone out the window.
Their car gets a flat, so they continue in a taxi. Wil ominously warns Fido that she may not be able to protect him from the person he called. They are extremely rude to the cab driver, so he kicks them out in a bad neighborhood. Wil forgets her purse, so now they are without a phone. They approach some hookers to ask them for money, and the hookers chase them away.
They take shelter in a semi-abandoned storefront church. Talking to herself, Wil accidentally reveals that she is trying to take over the company, but denies it when Fido asks her about it. They break into the cashbox for the candles and take the money inside. (Wil leaves an earring in place of the cash.) They use the money to get back to the office.
Fey calls Wil at the office. She has figured out Wil's cell phone was stolen. Fido says he wants in on the conversation. Wil says goodbye to Fey to negotiate with Fido. He wants job security, a title, and company credit card.
Daniel: Daniel wakes up in Betty's bed, badly hung over and whines about Sofia. Betty tries to reassure him, saying that you never know how quickly things can change. She goes to work to take care of some paperwork, leaving Daniel at home with her family.
Daniel gets up some time later and tries to sneak out while the family (plus Santos, who stayed the night) have breakfast. He overhears them discussing whether or not they should have a Christmas tree, due to financial problems. Dad tries to get Daniel to stay for breakfast, but the sight of huevos rancheros makes him feel even worse.
Betty calls to tell Daniel about the Tim/Chloe/Chutney crisis, but Daniel says he's too sick to come in. A Christmas tree arrives - Daniel ordered it for the family to make up for throwing up in four rooms of their house. Daniel tries to help decorate the tree but admits he's never done this before - they weren't allowed to touch the tree when he was a kid.
Justin shows enthusiasm for decorating and for Mode, which annoys Santos. Santos offers to play football outside with him, but Justin wants to work on the tree. Santos insists, "come out and be a normal kid for an hour." Hilda pulls Santos aside and defends Justin. Santos leaves.
All this mushy family togetherness gives Daniel an idea. He tells Betty to have the Chutney photo shoot at her house.
Wrap-up: Betty goes into the house while Sofia waits outside. Betty tells Daniel about Sofia's plan to go to Maine to possibly marry Hunter. He goes outside to talk to Sofia. He says he hasn't been eager to be a family man because his own family sucks, but he asks her for another chance.
Later, in the house, Daniel talls Betty that Sofia isn't going to Maine after all, and she told him about the job offer she had made to Betty. Daniel encourages Betty to take the job and pursue her dream.
Later, after the shoot (which we don't see), Betty begins to tell her family about Sofia's job offer, but they are interrupted by the doorbell. Dad gets up to answer the door, and is arrested.
Next week
The return of Henry, aka Hotty.
Betty as Editor-in-Chief: Betty goes to the office to take care of some quick paperwork. Sofia is there and complains that Daniel has not returned any of her calls or messages. She has to go to Maine tonight, because Hunter found them a house and probably wants to get married this weekend. She admits that she's not sure she wants this and has feelings for Daniel.
Brad comes looking for Daniel and explains to Betty about the Chutney photo shoot. Betty assures him that Daniel is on the way. Sofia volunteers to write the copy for the article. The stylist arrives, but he is snotty with Betty and his ideas include dressing the baby in chainmail and dumping water on her. Betty calls Wil, who says this guy is great so let him do what he wants; she calls Daniel, who is recuperating from a hangover at Betty's house, but he's too sick to come in and tells Betty to handle everything.
The stylist receives a sneak preview photo of Chutney and panics. He says the baby is butt-ugly and he will need more time. Betty questions the stylist's competence and he quits. Sofia beams with pride, but also realizes that Daniel isn't coming in. Betty tells Sofia that he's hung over... because she broke his heart.
Betty scrambles to arrange the shoot. She chooses a park in Queens to do an Adam & Eve in the jungle theme. Daniel calls and suggests that they do it at her house instead, now that it's decorated for Christmas. It will complement Tim & Chloe's working-class backgrounds. She bums a ride home with Sofia and tells her that she doesn't want to tell Daniel that Sofia will come back on Monday as Mrs. Hunter.
Sofia says that Betty is wasting her time working at Mode; they'll never appreciate her there. She offers Betty a job at her magazine instead. She says Betty will have her own assistant within a year.
Wil & Fido: Wil is angry about the condition of her office and asks Fido to analyze the teeth marks on a cashew she found under her chaise. Brad sends them to the airport to pick up the celebrities. In the car, Fido texts Fluffy to warn her of Wil's suspicion; Fluffy texts back a very incriminating reply. Wil grabs the phone out of his hand, reads the reply and throws his phone out the window.
Their car gets a flat, so they continue in a taxi. Wil ominously warns Fido that she may not be able to protect him from the person he called. They are extremely rude to the cab driver, so he kicks them out in a bad neighborhood. Wil forgets her purse, so now they are without a phone. They approach some hookers to ask them for money, and the hookers chase them away.
They take shelter in a semi-abandoned storefront church. Talking to herself, Wil accidentally reveals that she is trying to take over the company, but denies it when Fido asks her about it. They break into the cashbox for the candles and take the money inside. (Wil leaves an earring in place of the cash.) They use the money to get back to the office.
Fey calls Wil at the office. She has figured out Wil's cell phone was stolen. Fido says he wants in on the conversation. Wil says goodbye to Fey to negotiate with Fido. He wants job security, a title, and company credit card.
Daniel: Daniel wakes up in Betty's bed, badly hung over and whines about Sofia. Betty tries to reassure him, saying that you never know how quickly things can change. She goes to work to take care of some paperwork, leaving Daniel at home with her family.
Daniel gets up some time later and tries to sneak out while the family (plus Santos, who stayed the night) have breakfast. He overhears them discussing whether or not they should have a Christmas tree, due to financial problems. Dad tries to get Daniel to stay for breakfast, but the sight of huevos rancheros makes him feel even worse.
Betty calls to tell Daniel about the Tim/Chloe/Chutney crisis, but Daniel says he's too sick to come in. A Christmas tree arrives - Daniel ordered it for the family to make up for throwing up in four rooms of their house. Daniel tries to help decorate the tree but admits he's never done this before - they weren't allowed to touch the tree when he was a kid.
Justin shows enthusiasm for decorating and for Mode, which annoys Santos. Santos offers to play football outside with him, but Justin wants to work on the tree. Santos insists, "come out and be a normal kid for an hour." Hilda pulls Santos aside and defends Justin. Santos leaves.
All this mushy family togetherness gives Daniel an idea. He tells Betty to have the Chutney photo shoot at her house.
Wrap-up: Betty goes into the house while Sofia waits outside. Betty tells Daniel about Sofia's plan to go to Maine to possibly marry Hunter. He goes outside to talk to Sofia. He says he hasn't been eager to be a family man because his own family sucks, but he asks her for another chance.
Later, in the house, Daniel talls Betty that Sofia isn't going to Maine after all, and she told him about the job offer she had made to Betty. Daniel encourages Betty to take the job and pursue her dream.
Later, after the shoot (which we don't see), Betty begins to tell her family about Sofia's job offer, but they are interrupted by the doorbell. Dad gets up to answer the door, and is arrested.
Next week
The return of Henry, aka Hotty.
2006-11-17
11/16/06: Misery Loves Company
You know there's something wrong in the universe when Wilhelmina Slater has a better Thanksgiving than anyone else in this episode.
Wilhelmina Slater's Not-Too-Shabby Thanksgiving
Wil has plans - some party with Donatella Versace, whoopiee - but on Thanksgiving Eve, Fido informs her that Nico changed her plans at the last minute to come home for Thanksgiving. At first, Wil is annoyed, but then decides to make the best of it, thanks to some prodding from Christina who teases her about being old and alone.
The next day, Wil stares nervously at the raw turkey in her roasting pan and calls Martha Stewart. (After answering the phone, Martha scolds herself for not checking her Caller ID.) Evidently, Martha gives good advice, because some time later, Wil admires her handiwork - a well-browned turkey and a ton of side dishes.
Then Nico comes in with a ton of laundry (lugged over from Paris??) and says she's on her way to a concert with some friends. Wil is disappointed, but claims that she has plans too. While Wil gets ready for the party, Nico discovers the turkey dinner. She and Wil delay their plans, dine, and converse.
Good, now the happy crap's out of the way. On with the angst!
Fido and Fluffy's Fuzzy Thanksgiving
On Thanksgiving Eve, Fluffy is peevish because her new boyfriend (who she's been bragging about loudly around Daniel, not that he's noticed) canceled their holiday plans. Something about having to be with his wife and kids. She goes looking for Fido, who is only too happy to cancel plans with his own family so that he and Fluffy can watch the parade from Wil's office.
The next day, they party in Wil's office, try on designer clothes (yes, Fido looks quite dainty in a dress), dance, drink, etc. She drunkenly whines about Daniel. Fido tries to cheer her up with some gossip: he thinks Wil is a lesbian. His evidence: Wil is always getting phone calls on her cell from some woman, and every time she calls, Wil kicks him out so he can't listen in. (Then he remembers how he had to bring her her diaphragm when the BeauMart guy was in town, which spoils that theory.)
They snoop through Wil's papers and Amanda finds her cell phone bill. She calls the number that matches the times of the mysterious calls; a surgical center picks up and Fluffy claims to be Wil. Their call is forwarded to Fey; when Fey answers "why are you calling me from the office?", Fluffy hangs up in terror. The phone starts ringing, and they panic, hurriedly tidy Wil's office, and run out.
Fey calls Wilhelmina at home to let her know that someone just called her from her office.
Daniel Meade's Even Fuzzier Thanksgiving
On Thanksgiving Eve, Daniel asks Betty if Sofia has called. He complains that he's spent the whole day waiting by the phone. Boo hoo.
He and Betty discuss his Thanksgiving plans. He doesn't want to go to the brunch that his father is giving tomorrow; Betty encourages him to go.
Sofia shows up, and Daniel practically kicks Betty out of his office. Sofia apologizes for surprising him about her boyfriend, and says she wants to be friends. He agrees, and they share a soulful hug - at least until he gets handsy with her.
She tells him that she's going to Brad's brunch. Suddenly, Daniel is very gung-ho about it too! Sofia reveals that she will also be bringing her boyfriend, Hunter.
Next day, Daniel calls Betty at home and demands that she come to his loft immediately to help out with an emergency. When she gets there, she can't believe that the "emergency" is that he needs help picking out a shirt. He wants to make sure he out-hots Hunter. He's so nervous about this, he's actually wearing makeup to cover up a pimple (this would have made a good running joke). She tells him off and vents about her own problems at home, letting him know that he's not the only person who has crises.
But instead of stomping out on that note, she goes on to tell him how great he is, and that Hunter should be the one who's nervous. And then she tells him to wear the purple shirt.
Daniel hangs out with his mother Claire at the brunch, freshly released from rehab. She complains about having to drink club soda, but Daniel notices that Brad is also drinking club soda, in a display of solidarity.
Daniel spots Sofia across the room and practically ditches his mom in midsentence. Sofia is chatting with a slightly nerdy-looking guy; Daniel assumes this is Hunter, but he's actually the editor of another Meade magazine who works in their building. Sofia points out Hunter to him; he's blond and blandly pretty. To add insult to injury, the nerd commiserates with Daniel: how are guys like them supposed to score when there's a guy like Hunter around?
It gets worse. Hunter charms the crowd with various anecdotes, including an experience he had in the Peace Corps. He says he joined the Peace Corps because there's more to life than modeling and racing cars. He tells of the time he worked on an irrigation system for a whole year in some village and how excited the kids were to have water. Daniel says he knows the feeling, because he once helped some local kids open up a fire hydrant. I can't even tell whether this was supposed to be a brag or a joke; neither can the crowd. There's an awkward silence.
Hunter continues to be the life of the party. He wins the nerd over by performing some sort of chiropractic maneuver on his neck that takes his pain away.
Sofia wants to go dancing; Hunter says he can't dance. Daniel pounces on this opportunity to suggest that the three of them go dancing together.
That's the most brilliant idea ever! Why didn't I ever think of that? Next time I like someone who has a girlfriend, I'll just ask BOTH of them out on a date! Yeah, that'll work!
But Sofia agrees, so Hunter has no choice. (At this point, I was annoyed that we didn't get a reaction shot of the horrified look that must have been on Hunter's face; alas, I should have guessed where this was going.)
From the dance club restroom, Daniel calls Betty (interrupting her Thanksgiving non-dinner, about which more later). He says he needs to learn how to dance salsa. Betty can't believe he expects her to teach him salsa dancing over the phone, but she does her best. She tells him the idea is that he tries to seduce a woman, and she pushes him away. (This should be no problem for him.) She describes the steps, he learns them, and he's ready to face Sofia - but first he has to pee.
Hunter is already using one of the urinals... and he is standing like two feet away from it. Daniel bellies up to another urinal, but has to stand much closer than Hunter; you can see the despair in his eyes. :-)
Daniel approaches Sofia on the dance floor and wonders where Hunter is. He figures Hunter must be hiding because he's so embarrassed by his lack of skill. But just before Daniel can show off his new dance steps, Hunter swoops in and dances with Sofia - brilliantly. Afterwards, Hunter reveals why he thinks he "stinks" as a dancer - because he didn't make the final round at some big dance competition in Vienna.
Daniel stomps out of there in a big huff. Before he can be whisked away in a taxi, Sofia catches up with him. He kisses her and she likes it, but she says she loves Hunter, and she found a ring in his dresser this morning and she wants it. She says she's old-fashioned, and she wants the white picket fence and lots of babies, and she doesn't think Daniel is there just yet.
She challenges Daniel to deny this, but he can't. She goes back into the club to join her pale beau.
Bradford & Fey's Shady Thanksgiving
Brad ducks out of his brunch to ditch his club soda and get a real drink. He catches a glimpse of Fey in the hallway, but she disappears before he can catch up with her. He tells Claire what he's seen; she takes his drink away from him.
Brad meets with Chuck (as I've been calling him) at Fey's crypt. They look inside, but the body isn't there. Chuck insists that Fey is dead, but Brad accuses Chuck of working with Fey. Chuck denies this, but then Brad introduces a "Mr. Green," who explains that he's hired to "clean up messes."
Chuck ends up entombed in Fey's crypt. Nice to know that her pricey resting place won't be going to waste.
The Suarez Family's Crappy Thanksgiving
Betty is working late on Thanksgiving Eve when Hilda calls, chastising her for being late. Betty finishes up what she needs to do and goes home, but by the time she gets there, she's missed Justin's Thanksgiving pageant (he brags that he did jazz hands) and the meeting with Leah the Discount Lawyer. She's also annoyed to discover that Hilda already did the shopping, and did a lousy job. Betty usually does the shopping every year, and Hilda is annoyed that she had to do it this time, but since she forgot some stuff, Betty has to go out anyway.
She also misses Dad's telenovela, in which Father Yummy (see him on Mundo De Fieras weeknights at 9 on Univision!) is revealed to be a thief and murderer.
On her way home from the store, she runs into Gina Gambarro, the boyfriend-stealing neighborhood slut. Gina somehow already knows all about Dad's legal problems, and warns Betty that Leah is a ripoff artist. (Why she would want to help Betty, or why Betty would believe her for that matter, I have no idea.) Leah took money from some woman named Donna to get her custody of her kids, but never followed up.
Betty wants to check this out, but is waylaid by that call from Daniel wanting help picking out a shirt. On her way home from that errand, she pays Donna a visit. Donna confirms Betty's story.
Back at home, Hilda is helping Dad with the cooking. Apparently, this is another thing that Betty normally does each year, and at this point I have to wonder if Hilda also needs help dressing herself or if there's anything that Betty doesn't have to do for her. Dad complains that Hilda isn't doing a good job mixing the stuffing and proudly says that Betty has hands like meathooks. He means this as a compliment, which makes you wonder what Betty's mom must have been like.
Santos arrives and gives Justin a big gift. Inside, Justin finds a bunch of football clothing, or as Justin calls them, "costumes." Sigh. At least he's enthusiastic, and Santos doesn't seem as annoyed as Hilda.
When Betty gets back from her errands, Leah is there for the rest of the money for Dad's defense. Betty pulls Hilda aside and tells her what she heard. Hilda flips out and accuses Betty of being jealous because she's the #1 daughter around there now, helping out while Betty plays at her little career at the office.
The Turd Sandwich arrives, and Betty vents about all of this to him before he can even say hello. (Showing his true colors, Santos discreetly warns TS to "run while you can.")
Hilda gives the money to Leah, and on her way out the door, Leah claims that she's never lost a case. Betty asks her about Donna. Leah says she didn't lose that one either, because she quit. She says Donna left the kids locked in a car on a hot day while she was getting bombed at some bar. At that point, Leah didn't want Donna to get custody, so she quit the case. She didn't give the money back because it was only enough to cover the costs she had incurred up to that point.
Betty meekly apologizes, and Leah offers their money back. They refuse, and invite her to come back later for dinner. She happily agrees.
Time passes. They wait around the table. (Daniel calls to request a remote salsa-dancing lesson.) Leah never shows up.
Hilda tries to call her, but all the phone numbers on her business card have been disconnected. Betty blames herself for not being around more to keep an eye on things. Hilda admits to not pulling her weight around the Suarez household; Betty has been doing pretty much everything around there ever since their mother died.
The phone rings, and Betty is called away on yet another errand for Daniel. This call isn't from Daniel, though - it's from the bartender who decided to just call the person with the most calls on Daniel's phone. (Is it any surprise that's Betty? He's called her at least twice today already and it's their day off!) Daniel is drunk and sad.
Next week
Dad is arrested; Daniel wakes up in a strange bed.
Wilhelmina Slater's Not-Too-Shabby Thanksgiving
Wil has plans - some party with Donatella Versace, whoopiee - but on Thanksgiving Eve, Fido informs her that Nico changed her plans at the last minute to come home for Thanksgiving. At first, Wil is annoyed, but then decides to make the best of it, thanks to some prodding from Christina who teases her about being old and alone.
The next day, Wil stares nervously at the raw turkey in her roasting pan and calls Martha Stewart. (After answering the phone, Martha scolds herself for not checking her Caller ID.) Evidently, Martha gives good advice, because some time later, Wil admires her handiwork - a well-browned turkey and a ton of side dishes.
Then Nico comes in with a ton of laundry (lugged over from Paris??) and says she's on her way to a concert with some friends. Wil is disappointed, but claims that she has plans too. While Wil gets ready for the party, Nico discovers the turkey dinner. She and Wil delay their plans, dine, and converse.
Good, now the happy crap's out of the way. On with the angst!
Fido and Fluffy's Fuzzy Thanksgiving
On Thanksgiving Eve, Fluffy is peevish because her new boyfriend (who she's been bragging about loudly around Daniel, not that he's noticed) canceled their holiday plans. Something about having to be with his wife and kids. She goes looking for Fido, who is only too happy to cancel plans with his own family so that he and Fluffy can watch the parade from Wil's office.
The next day, they party in Wil's office, try on designer clothes (yes, Fido looks quite dainty in a dress), dance, drink, etc. She drunkenly whines about Daniel. Fido tries to cheer her up with some gossip: he thinks Wil is a lesbian. His evidence: Wil is always getting phone calls on her cell from some woman, and every time she calls, Wil kicks him out so he can't listen in. (Then he remembers how he had to bring her her diaphragm when the BeauMart guy was in town, which spoils that theory.)
They snoop through Wil's papers and Amanda finds her cell phone bill. She calls the number that matches the times of the mysterious calls; a surgical center picks up and Fluffy claims to be Wil. Their call is forwarded to Fey; when Fey answers "why are you calling me from the office?", Fluffy hangs up in terror. The phone starts ringing, and they panic, hurriedly tidy Wil's office, and run out.
Fey calls Wilhelmina at home to let her know that someone just called her from her office.
Daniel Meade's Even Fuzzier Thanksgiving
On Thanksgiving Eve, Daniel asks Betty if Sofia has called. He complains that he's spent the whole day waiting by the phone. Boo hoo.
He and Betty discuss his Thanksgiving plans. He doesn't want to go to the brunch that his father is giving tomorrow; Betty encourages him to go.
Sofia shows up, and Daniel practically kicks Betty out of his office. Sofia apologizes for surprising him about her boyfriend, and says she wants to be friends. He agrees, and they share a soulful hug - at least until he gets handsy with her.
She tells him that she's going to Brad's brunch. Suddenly, Daniel is very gung-ho about it too! Sofia reveals that she will also be bringing her boyfriend, Hunter.
Next day, Daniel calls Betty at home and demands that she come to his loft immediately to help out with an emergency. When she gets there, she can't believe that the "emergency" is that he needs help picking out a shirt. He wants to make sure he out-hots Hunter. He's so nervous about this, he's actually wearing makeup to cover up a pimple (this would have made a good running joke). She tells him off and vents about her own problems at home, letting him know that he's not the only person who has crises.
But instead of stomping out on that note, she goes on to tell him how great he is, and that Hunter should be the one who's nervous. And then she tells him to wear the purple shirt.
Daniel hangs out with his mother Claire at the brunch, freshly released from rehab. She complains about having to drink club soda, but Daniel notices that Brad is also drinking club soda, in a display of solidarity.
Daniel spots Sofia across the room and practically ditches his mom in midsentence. Sofia is chatting with a slightly nerdy-looking guy; Daniel assumes this is Hunter, but he's actually the editor of another Meade magazine who works in their building. Sofia points out Hunter to him; he's blond and blandly pretty. To add insult to injury, the nerd commiserates with Daniel: how are guys like them supposed to score when there's a guy like Hunter around?
It gets worse. Hunter charms the crowd with various anecdotes, including an experience he had in the Peace Corps. He says he joined the Peace Corps because there's more to life than modeling and racing cars. He tells of the time he worked on an irrigation system for a whole year in some village and how excited the kids were to have water. Daniel says he knows the feeling, because he once helped some local kids open up a fire hydrant. I can't even tell whether this was supposed to be a brag or a joke; neither can the crowd. There's an awkward silence.
Hunter continues to be the life of the party. He wins the nerd over by performing some sort of chiropractic maneuver on his neck that takes his pain away.
Sofia wants to go dancing; Hunter says he can't dance. Daniel pounces on this opportunity to suggest that the three of them go dancing together.
That's the most brilliant idea ever! Why didn't I ever think of that? Next time I like someone who has a girlfriend, I'll just ask BOTH of them out on a date! Yeah, that'll work!
But Sofia agrees, so Hunter has no choice. (At this point, I was annoyed that we didn't get a reaction shot of the horrified look that must have been on Hunter's face; alas, I should have guessed where this was going.)
From the dance club restroom, Daniel calls Betty (interrupting her Thanksgiving non-dinner, about which more later). He says he needs to learn how to dance salsa. Betty can't believe he expects her to teach him salsa dancing over the phone, but she does her best. She tells him the idea is that he tries to seduce a woman, and she pushes him away. (This should be no problem for him.) She describes the steps, he learns them, and he's ready to face Sofia - but first he has to pee.
Hunter is already using one of the urinals... and he is standing like two feet away from it. Daniel bellies up to another urinal, but has to stand much closer than Hunter; you can see the despair in his eyes. :-)
Daniel approaches Sofia on the dance floor and wonders where Hunter is. He figures Hunter must be hiding because he's so embarrassed by his lack of skill. But just before Daniel can show off his new dance steps, Hunter swoops in and dances with Sofia - brilliantly. Afterwards, Hunter reveals why he thinks he "stinks" as a dancer - because he didn't make the final round at some big dance competition in Vienna.
Daniel stomps out of there in a big huff. Before he can be whisked away in a taxi, Sofia catches up with him. He kisses her and she likes it, but she says she loves Hunter, and she found a ring in his dresser this morning and she wants it. She says she's old-fashioned, and she wants the white picket fence and lots of babies, and she doesn't think Daniel is there just yet.
She challenges Daniel to deny this, but he can't. She goes back into the club to join her pale beau.
Bradford & Fey's Shady Thanksgiving
Brad ducks out of his brunch to ditch his club soda and get a real drink. He catches a glimpse of Fey in the hallway, but she disappears before he can catch up with her. He tells Claire what he's seen; she takes his drink away from him.
Brad meets with Chuck (as I've been calling him) at Fey's crypt. They look inside, but the body isn't there. Chuck insists that Fey is dead, but Brad accuses Chuck of working with Fey. Chuck denies this, but then Brad introduces a "Mr. Green," who explains that he's hired to "clean up messes."
Chuck ends up entombed in Fey's crypt. Nice to know that her pricey resting place won't be going to waste.
The Suarez Family's Crappy Thanksgiving
Betty is working late on Thanksgiving Eve when Hilda calls, chastising her for being late. Betty finishes up what she needs to do and goes home, but by the time she gets there, she's missed Justin's Thanksgiving pageant (he brags that he did jazz hands) and the meeting with Leah the Discount Lawyer. She's also annoyed to discover that Hilda already did the shopping, and did a lousy job. Betty usually does the shopping every year, and Hilda is annoyed that she had to do it this time, but since she forgot some stuff, Betty has to go out anyway.
She also misses Dad's telenovela, in which Father Yummy (see him on Mundo De Fieras weeknights at 9 on Univision!) is revealed to be a thief and murderer.
On her way home from the store, she runs into Gina Gambarro, the boyfriend-stealing neighborhood slut. Gina somehow already knows all about Dad's legal problems, and warns Betty that Leah is a ripoff artist. (Why she would want to help Betty, or why Betty would believe her for that matter, I have no idea.) Leah took money from some woman named Donna to get her custody of her kids, but never followed up.
Betty wants to check this out, but is waylaid by that call from Daniel wanting help picking out a shirt. On her way home from that errand, she pays Donna a visit. Donna confirms Betty's story.
Back at home, Hilda is helping Dad with the cooking. Apparently, this is another thing that Betty normally does each year, and at this point I have to wonder if Hilda also needs help dressing herself or if there's anything that Betty doesn't have to do for her. Dad complains that Hilda isn't doing a good job mixing the stuffing and proudly says that Betty has hands like meathooks. He means this as a compliment, which makes you wonder what Betty's mom must have been like.
Santos arrives and gives Justin a big gift. Inside, Justin finds a bunch of football clothing, or as Justin calls them, "costumes." Sigh. At least he's enthusiastic, and Santos doesn't seem as annoyed as Hilda.
When Betty gets back from her errands, Leah is there for the rest of the money for Dad's defense. Betty pulls Hilda aside and tells her what she heard. Hilda flips out and accuses Betty of being jealous because she's the #1 daughter around there now, helping out while Betty plays at her little career at the office.
The Turd Sandwich arrives, and Betty vents about all of this to him before he can even say hello. (Showing his true colors, Santos discreetly warns TS to "run while you can.")
Hilda gives the money to Leah, and on her way out the door, Leah claims that she's never lost a case. Betty asks her about Donna. Leah says she didn't lose that one either, because she quit. She says Donna left the kids locked in a car on a hot day while she was getting bombed at some bar. At that point, Leah didn't want Donna to get custody, so she quit the case. She didn't give the money back because it was only enough to cover the costs she had incurred up to that point.
Betty meekly apologizes, and Leah offers their money back. They refuse, and invite her to come back later for dinner. She happily agrees.
Time passes. They wait around the table. (Daniel calls to request a remote salsa-dancing lesson.) Leah never shows up.
Hilda tries to call her, but all the phone numbers on her business card have been disconnected. Betty blames herself for not being around more to keep an eye on things. Hilda admits to not pulling her weight around the Suarez household; Betty has been doing pretty much everything around there ever since their mother died.
The phone rings, and Betty is called away on yet another errand for Daniel. This call isn't from Daniel, though - it's from the bartender who decided to just call the person with the most calls on Daniel's phone. (Is it any surprise that's Betty? He's called her at least twice today already and it's their day off!) Daniel is drunk and sad.
Next week
Dad is arrested; Daniel wakes up in a strange bed.
2006-11-11
11/9/06: Fishes out of water
No appearance from Chuck or Fey this week. That's almost a relief.
At home
Hilda has apparently decided to go with Leah, the lawyer she met on the street last week, to handle Dad's case. Leah just wants $5K as opposed to the guy they met with, who wants $20K. Hilda decides that Santos, Justin's father, is the guy to ask for the money; Dad is not happy about this.
Hilda heard that Santos won big on some bet; Santos somehow heard that her dad needs a lawyer. He gives her $2500 cash right on the spot, but makes her promise to let him see Justin. She reluctantly agrees.
Dad is upset about the money and wants her to give it back, but she tells him that all Santos asked in return was to see his son.
The evening wears on, but Santos doesn't show up. Justin is mildly disappointed, but not surprised.
She goes out looking for Santos and comes home very late. He shows up soon afterwards, all beat up. As she dabs at his cuts and bruises, he says he was on his way to pay some debt to his bookie when the thugs got him. He apologizes for missing out on his visit, but doesn't want Justin to see him looking like that.
Hilda takes pity and invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. When Justin hears about this, his first reaction is disappointment. He was hoping that he had won some contest and Martha Stewart was coming over. Santos is not a satisfactory substitute, and Justin doubts that he'll show up anyway.
Wil
Brad (in his only appearance in this episode) tells Wil to woo the founder of BeauMart, a huge discount chain, to get him to advertise in Mode. She doesn't want to do it, but Brad appeals to her vanity, saying that she's Mode's best bet to convince this guy.
Wil keeps asking Fido if Nico has called. The answer is no. This is the same woman who, two weeks ago, was irritated just by the mention of her daughter's name; now she keeps checking her messages and fretting over her. Go figure. She wants to know if Nico has received the care package she (actually Fido) sent to her at school in Paris.
Wil looks through a rack of BeauMart clothing that Christina has assembled for her. She hates all of it, and she and Christina trade insults. Fido does some research on this guy - his name is Ted LeBeau - and they get the impression that he's a nouveau-riche redneck. (They don't actually use that word, but it's implied.) She has Fido decorate her office Texas-style. This involves cowboy hats, college football stuff and I think rye is mentioned. She wears something from one of his store's clothing collections. It looks a lot better on her than it would on anyone else; I think maybe Christina did some tailoring.
Ted arrives, and Wil asks Fido to show him in. "I wanted to watch him mosey," Fido protests. They are awkward with him. He notices that she's wearing something from his store; she tactfully says "It's like nothing I own." (I'll have to remember that one.)
Ted says he's not sure why he should advertise in Mode. Mode's readers are too snooty to shop in his store, and his shoppers can't afford the stuff in Mode. She tells him that major designers are developing clothing lines for other discount stores, and she could set something up for BeauMart.
There's supposed to discuss this at a nice restaurant, but he wants to go to his "favorite" place instead, which is sort of a southern roadhouse-style place complete with a gigantic Confederate flag on one wall. Fido gets a little queasy trying to read the menu, which is printed on the waitress's t-shirt, and Wil takes mercy on him and sends him home. No one takes mercy on Wil, but she tries to make the best of it, drinking with Ted. She keeps trying to talk business, but he wants to drink some more.
Nico calls in the middle of all this to complain about the care package. It's full of things she doesn't need. She's allergic to perfume, for example. Wil says she knows that; the perfume was for her roommate. That's when she finds out that Nico doesn't have a roommate. She asks Nico to email her a list of what she needs, and she'll have Fido... but she doesn't get a chance to finish, because Nico hangs up on her.
Ted is fascinated and relieved to see that Wil has a human side. He tells her he has three moody daughters of his own that he didn't spend enough time with when they were kids; Wil feels guilty she never baked cookies with Nico. Ted says she needs to make it up to her.
She wants to get back to business, but Ted admits he had already decided to advertise in Mode back when they were still at the office; he was just messin' with her. He puts his hand on hers, or she puts her hand on his, or maybe both. He suggests dinner at a real restaurant - he actually knows the chef at the place she had originally planned for them to go to, so they'll get fed even at this late hour. She gratefully agrees.
That appears not to have been the end of their evening. On Monday, she finds that he has sent her some white cowboy boots with a little note.
She puts together a new care package for Nico, containing practical items that a girl might actually need, along with a photo of both of them.
Daniel & Sofia
After sprinklers make her offices unusable, Sofia and her staff temporarily move into Mode's fishbowl. Daniel thinks this is a great opportunity to flirt with/insult her (there's not much difference, with him). He thinks she's hot for him, and is just teasing him and playing games every time she spurns his advances.
Daniel is convinced that Sofia's article about sexaholism is about him, and she calls him a clown. At one point, he sees her apparently feeling a coworker's breasts in the fishbowl; he asks why he wasn't invited to the slumber party, and makes a childish comment about liking 'em big and natural. The temperature in the room drops about 50 degrees and she informs him that they're researching an article on breast reconstruction for recovering women. Hah! Take that, little Danny!
He starts reading her book, hoping to gain some insight into her personality. He finds out she likes Indian food, and sends her some to apologize about the breast thing.
She tries to get him to eat some of the Indian food, but it proves too hot for him, so she takes him out on her motorcycle to play pool at some dive. They spar verbally some more - he can't even tell when he's outclassed. They discuss whether she is a tease and whether he's a sexaholic; she lets him win the game (pool, I mean, not the verbal fight).
She asks him what makes him think the sexaholic article was about him - maybe it was about her. She pulls him into the restroom (or something - I can't tell what) and presumably totally does him.
On Monday, Sofia and her staff start packing up their things to go back to their regular offices. Daniel complains to Sofia that she didn't return any of his calls or emails over the weekend. She tells him she was busy... with her boyfriend.
Betty
Betty shows up in Daniel's office dripping wet. She had been getting Sofia's autograph when the sprinkers went off, soaking everything. Daniel is surprised that Betty likes Sofia's book; Betty tells him it's brilliant.
Sofia comes by and gives Betty a new, dry, autographed copy of her book and asks her to review an article she wrote on sexaholism.
Betty is skeptical that she is qualified to review it, but Sofia encourages her. She also needles Daniel for not making good use of Betty's brain.
Daniel starts giving Betty a bunch of menial tasks (picking up his laundry, etc.) and then has a change of heart. He was having trouble getting someone to do a hotel review, so he has Betty do it. Betty is ecstatic. "Shut up, really?" she says to her boss. Sassy! She'll spend the whole weekend at a swanky SoHo hotel for free.
Unfortunately, she was supposed to go to Atlantic City with the Turd Sandwich. She halfheartedly invites him, but he refuses. He had his heart set on Atlantic City; he got tickets to The Price Is Right and expects to win a dinette.
That sounds good to me. Go away and don't come back until you have procured some furniture for me! Hilda disagrees with me, and chastises Betty for not offering a more enthusiastic invitation. Hey, Hilda, if you think this guy is such a prize, why don't YOU go after him? Huh? How about that?
Uh, but this thing with Walter and Hilda happened after work. Before that, Betty whined about it to Christina; a somewhat pointless conversation. Fluffy comes in and tells Christina to get some BeauMart clothes to Wil; Betty enthusiastically recommends stuff from the Kelly Clarkson collection. Fluffy tells her that she'd better turn the Betty Look down a notch when she goes to SoHo, rather than the "human piñata look." (And that's it for Fluffy this week - that line was pretty much the only payoff in this scene.)
Betty takes a very large suitcase to the hotel for her weekend stay. Everyone ignores her as she struggles across the lobby with it. The clerk barely acknowledges her, except to make fun of her braces.
Then she reveals that she's reviewing the place for Mode, and suddenly he is super-nice and polite. (Me, I'd rather let them be rude, and then put it in my review, but that's probably why nobody asks me to review things.)
He tells her to take a seat and he'll ring someone to help her with her bags.
She looks around the lobby and chooses the most ridiculous seat she can find - a globe chair balanced on a pedestal. It immediately rolls off as soon as she sits in it, and everyone stares as she struggles to climb out.
She pays the bellboy with a half-used commuter pass and then explores her room, taking notes on everything she sees and trying to describe it in the most pretentious, florid language possible. Um, has she ever read Mode? Never mind. She plays with the TV and accidentally picks out a movie called "Ocean's 11 Inches." It's just what it sounds like, and she immediately slams the doors shut over her TV in horror.
She calls for a massage and is surprised when a hot guy named Sven shows up. She says she was expecting a woman, but Sven says all the women had appointments. He tells her she can take her clothes off while he sets up the table. She refuses to take her glasses off and tries to interview him and take notes while he rubs her shoulders. She asks whether he's shi-tzu'ing her or ralphing her.
The whole scene is so painful that I'm almost relieved when there's a knock on the door; then I realize it's Turd Sandwich. Sven answers the door, and TS is displeased to see his girlfriend kinda not dressed in a room with a hot guy. He sends Sven away, and Betty gives him a hug. He says he turned around before he even got to Atlantic City. I suppose that's touching and sweet, except it's the Turd Sandwich. Gross.
She makes TS buy a nice shirt so they can eat at the hotel restaurant; she wears the most elegant thing she owns - her prom dress. And not the fashionable kind. It's blue and puffy. It's the kind of thing that's cute only because we know and love Betty. Otherwise it's horrible.
They are 15 minutes late for dinner. The snooty hostess tells them they lost their table after 10 minutes. TS eagerly suggests room service, but Betty says no, she has to review the restaurant. She mentions that she's from Mode, and suddenly the hostess is much more accommodating and is able to seat them immediately.
TS is irritable at the restaurant. He has trouble reading the see-through menu, doesn't want to help Betty with her review, and generally just wants them to hole up in their room and watch TV.
When the food arrives, it's tiny and confusing. TS complains loudly. The waiter tries to be polite, but TS lectures Betty that "we don't belong in places like these." He takes his dress shirt off (don't worry - he's still wearing his t-shirt underneath, so at least we are spared that particular pain). He says he doesn't like Betty from Mode - he liked Betty from Queens. He leaves her sitting there in her prom dress.
Later, still wearing the prom dress in her room, Betty struggles to finish the review, but isn't happy with it or her behavior. She goes home and apologizes to the Turd Sandwich. He says he is afraid of losing her; she says he won't lose her - she just needs some support from him.
Daniel says the review is great, but it's not glamorous enough for Mode. Betty is crushed, and runs to the bathroom to cry. Personally, I am amazed that there aren't at least a dozen women crying and/or vomiting in there at any given time, but perhaps that would be distracting. Sofia finds her and tells her not to hide or slouch. She says she liked Betty's hotel review; she's going to publish it in her own magazine. Betty dances for joy.
Next week
It's Thanksgiving in Manhattan as well as in Queens. Be afraid. Be very afraid!
At home
Hilda has apparently decided to go with Leah, the lawyer she met on the street last week, to handle Dad's case. Leah just wants $5K as opposed to the guy they met with, who wants $20K. Hilda decides that Santos, Justin's father, is the guy to ask for the money; Dad is not happy about this.
Hilda heard that Santos won big on some bet; Santos somehow heard that her dad needs a lawyer. He gives her $2500 cash right on the spot, but makes her promise to let him see Justin. She reluctantly agrees.
Dad is upset about the money and wants her to give it back, but she tells him that all Santos asked in return was to see his son.
The evening wears on, but Santos doesn't show up. Justin is mildly disappointed, but not surprised.
She goes out looking for Santos and comes home very late. He shows up soon afterwards, all beat up. As she dabs at his cuts and bruises, he says he was on his way to pay some debt to his bookie when the thugs got him. He apologizes for missing out on his visit, but doesn't want Justin to see him looking like that.
Hilda takes pity and invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. When Justin hears about this, his first reaction is disappointment. He was hoping that he had won some contest and Martha Stewart was coming over. Santos is not a satisfactory substitute, and Justin doubts that he'll show up anyway.
Wil
Brad (in his only appearance in this episode) tells Wil to woo the founder of BeauMart, a huge discount chain, to get him to advertise in Mode. She doesn't want to do it, but Brad appeals to her vanity, saying that she's Mode's best bet to convince this guy.
Wil keeps asking Fido if Nico has called. The answer is no. This is the same woman who, two weeks ago, was irritated just by the mention of her daughter's name; now she keeps checking her messages and fretting over her. Go figure. She wants to know if Nico has received the care package she (actually Fido) sent to her at school in Paris.
Wil looks through a rack of BeauMart clothing that Christina has assembled for her. She hates all of it, and she and Christina trade insults. Fido does some research on this guy - his name is Ted LeBeau - and they get the impression that he's a nouveau-riche redneck. (They don't actually use that word, but it's implied.) She has Fido decorate her office Texas-style. This involves cowboy hats, college football stuff and I think rye is mentioned. She wears something from one of his store's clothing collections. It looks a lot better on her than it would on anyone else; I think maybe Christina did some tailoring.
Ted arrives, and Wil asks Fido to show him in. "I wanted to watch him mosey," Fido protests. They are awkward with him. He notices that she's wearing something from his store; she tactfully says "It's like nothing I own." (I'll have to remember that one.)
Ted says he's not sure why he should advertise in Mode. Mode's readers are too snooty to shop in his store, and his shoppers can't afford the stuff in Mode. She tells him that major designers are developing clothing lines for other discount stores, and she could set something up for BeauMart.
There's supposed to discuss this at a nice restaurant, but he wants to go to his "favorite" place instead, which is sort of a southern roadhouse-style place complete with a gigantic Confederate flag on one wall. Fido gets a little queasy trying to read the menu, which is printed on the waitress's t-shirt, and Wil takes mercy on him and sends him home. No one takes mercy on Wil, but she tries to make the best of it, drinking with Ted. She keeps trying to talk business, but he wants to drink some more.
Nico calls in the middle of all this to complain about the care package. It's full of things she doesn't need. She's allergic to perfume, for example. Wil says she knows that; the perfume was for her roommate. That's when she finds out that Nico doesn't have a roommate. She asks Nico to email her a list of what she needs, and she'll have Fido... but she doesn't get a chance to finish, because Nico hangs up on her.
Ted is fascinated and relieved to see that Wil has a human side. He tells her he has three moody daughters of his own that he didn't spend enough time with when they were kids; Wil feels guilty she never baked cookies with Nico. Ted says she needs to make it up to her.
She wants to get back to business, but Ted admits he had already decided to advertise in Mode back when they were still at the office; he was just messin' with her. He puts his hand on hers, or she puts her hand on his, or maybe both. He suggests dinner at a real restaurant - he actually knows the chef at the place she had originally planned for them to go to, so they'll get fed even at this late hour. She gratefully agrees.
That appears not to have been the end of their evening. On Monday, she finds that he has sent her some white cowboy boots with a little note.
She puts together a new care package for Nico, containing practical items that a girl might actually need, along with a photo of both of them.
Daniel & Sofia
After sprinklers make her offices unusable, Sofia and her staff temporarily move into Mode's fishbowl. Daniel thinks this is a great opportunity to flirt with/insult her (there's not much difference, with him). He thinks she's hot for him, and is just teasing him and playing games every time she spurns his advances.
Daniel is convinced that Sofia's article about sexaholism is about him, and she calls him a clown. At one point, he sees her apparently feeling a coworker's breasts in the fishbowl; he asks why he wasn't invited to the slumber party, and makes a childish comment about liking 'em big and natural. The temperature in the room drops about 50 degrees and she informs him that they're researching an article on breast reconstruction for recovering women. Hah! Take that, little Danny!
He starts reading her book, hoping to gain some insight into her personality. He finds out she likes Indian food, and sends her some to apologize about the breast thing.
She tries to get him to eat some of the Indian food, but it proves too hot for him, so she takes him out on her motorcycle to play pool at some dive. They spar verbally some more - he can't even tell when he's outclassed. They discuss whether she is a tease and whether he's a sexaholic; she lets him win the game (pool, I mean, not the verbal fight).
She asks him what makes him think the sexaholic article was about him - maybe it was about her. She pulls him into the restroom (or something - I can't tell what) and presumably totally does him.
On Monday, Sofia and her staff start packing up their things to go back to their regular offices. Daniel complains to Sofia that she didn't return any of his calls or emails over the weekend. She tells him she was busy... with her boyfriend.
YES! AWESOME!! OMG SALMA HAYEK ROOLZ!!!11!!!!!
Betty
Betty shows up in Daniel's office dripping wet. She had been getting Sofia's autograph when the sprinkers went off, soaking everything. Daniel is surprised that Betty likes Sofia's book; Betty tells him it's brilliant.
Sofia comes by and gives Betty a new, dry, autographed copy of her book and asks her to review an article she wrote on sexaholism.
Betty is skeptical that she is qualified to review it, but Sofia encourages her. She also needles Daniel for not making good use of Betty's brain.
Daniel starts giving Betty a bunch of menial tasks (picking up his laundry, etc.) and then has a change of heart. He was having trouble getting someone to do a hotel review, so he has Betty do it. Betty is ecstatic. "Shut up, really?" she says to her boss. Sassy! She'll spend the whole weekend at a swanky SoHo hotel for free.
Unfortunately, she was supposed to go to Atlantic City with the Turd Sandwich. She halfheartedly invites him, but he refuses. He had his heart set on Atlantic City; he got tickets to The Price Is Right and expects to win a dinette.
That sounds good to me. Go away and don't come back until you have procured some furniture for me! Hilda disagrees with me, and chastises Betty for not offering a more enthusiastic invitation. Hey, Hilda, if you think this guy is such a prize, why don't YOU go after him? Huh? How about that?
Uh, but this thing with Walter and Hilda happened after work. Before that, Betty whined about it to Christina; a somewhat pointless conversation. Fluffy comes in and tells Christina to get some BeauMart clothes to Wil; Betty enthusiastically recommends stuff from the Kelly Clarkson collection. Fluffy tells her that she'd better turn the Betty Look down a notch when she goes to SoHo, rather than the "human piñata look." (And that's it for Fluffy this week - that line was pretty much the only payoff in this scene.)
Betty takes a very large suitcase to the hotel for her weekend stay. Everyone ignores her as she struggles across the lobby with it. The clerk barely acknowledges her, except to make fun of her braces.
Then she reveals that she's reviewing the place for Mode, and suddenly he is super-nice and polite. (Me, I'd rather let them be rude, and then put it in my review, but that's probably why nobody asks me to review things.)
He tells her to take a seat and he'll ring someone to help her with her bags.
She looks around the lobby and chooses the most ridiculous seat she can find - a globe chair balanced on a pedestal. It immediately rolls off as soon as she sits in it, and everyone stares as she struggles to climb out.
She pays the bellboy with a half-used commuter pass and then explores her room, taking notes on everything she sees and trying to describe it in the most pretentious, florid language possible. Um, has she ever read Mode? Never mind. She plays with the TV and accidentally picks out a movie called "Ocean's 11 Inches." It's just what it sounds like, and she immediately slams the doors shut over her TV in horror.
She calls for a massage and is surprised when a hot guy named Sven shows up. She says she was expecting a woman, but Sven says all the women had appointments. He tells her she can take her clothes off while he sets up the table. She refuses to take her glasses off and tries to interview him and take notes while he rubs her shoulders. She asks whether he's shi-tzu'ing her or ralphing her.
The whole scene is so painful that I'm almost relieved when there's a knock on the door; then I realize it's Turd Sandwich. Sven answers the door, and TS is displeased to see his girlfriend kinda not dressed in a room with a hot guy. He sends Sven away, and Betty gives him a hug. He says he turned around before he even got to Atlantic City. I suppose that's touching and sweet, except it's the Turd Sandwich. Gross.
She makes TS buy a nice shirt so they can eat at the hotel restaurant; she wears the most elegant thing she owns - her prom dress. And not the fashionable kind. It's blue and puffy. It's the kind of thing that's cute only because we know and love Betty. Otherwise it's horrible.
They are 15 minutes late for dinner. The snooty hostess tells them they lost their table after 10 minutes. TS eagerly suggests room service, but Betty says no, she has to review the restaurant. She mentions that she's from Mode, and suddenly the hostess is much more accommodating and is able to seat them immediately.
TS is irritable at the restaurant. He has trouble reading the see-through menu, doesn't want to help Betty with her review, and generally just wants them to hole up in their room and watch TV.
When the food arrives, it's tiny and confusing. TS complains loudly. The waiter tries to be polite, but TS lectures Betty that "we don't belong in places like these." He takes his dress shirt off (don't worry - he's still wearing his t-shirt underneath, so at least we are spared that particular pain). He says he doesn't like Betty from Mode - he liked Betty from Queens. He leaves her sitting there in her prom dress.
Later, still wearing the prom dress in her room, Betty struggles to finish the review, but isn't happy with it or her behavior. She goes home and apologizes to the Turd Sandwich. He says he is afraid of losing her; she says he won't lose her - she just needs some support from him.
Daniel says the review is great, but it's not glamorous enough for Mode. Betty is crushed, and runs to the bathroom to cry. Personally, I am amazed that there aren't at least a dozen women crying and/or vomiting in there at any given time, but perhaps that would be distracting. Sofia finds her and tells her not to hide or slouch. She says she liked Betty's hotel review; she's going to publish it in her own magazine. Betty dances for joy.
Next week
It's Thanksgiving in Manhattan as well as in Queens. Be afraid. Be very afraid!
2006-11-10
11/9: Mini-recap
I don't have my notes with me, so this is going to be short and from memory.
Fey plot: No movement on this plot. No appearance from Chuck or Fey.
At home: Hilda has apparently decided to go with Leah, the lawyer she met on the street last week, to handle Dad's case. Leah just wants $5K as opposed to the guy they met with, who wants $20K. Hilda decides that Santos, Justin's father, is the guy to ask for the money. Turns out he won big on some bet; he gives her $2500 cash right on the spot, in exchange for getting to see Justin, but he doesn't show up for their meeting that night. Justin is disappointed but not surprised.
Eventually Santos does show up, all beat up. He was on his way to pay some debt to his bookie when the thugs got him. Hilda takes pity and invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. When Justin hears about this, he doubts that Santos will show up for that either.
Wil: Wil had Fido send a care package to Nico, but it was full of stuff that Nico didn't want or need. Nico calls to complain about this while Wil is in the middle of a "meeting" with the owner of BeauMart. BeauMart is a discount store, but for some reason Brad wanted Wil to convince this guy to advertise with them, so she is trying to make nice with him at the place of his choice, a roadhouse-style bar.
The meeting hasn't been going extremely well, but after the phone call, they bond over the subject of ungrateful, moody children and he agrees to advertise in Mode. There's also a hint of romance. After their weekend, he sends her some boots and she puts together a new care package for Nico - herself.
Daniel & Sofia: After sprinklers make her offices unusable, Sofia and her staff temporarily move into Mode's fishbowl room. Daniel thinks this is a great opportunity to flirt with/insult her (there's not much difference, with him). Sofia asks Betty to review an article she wrote on sexaholism.
Daniel is convinced that the article is about him and starts reading her book. He finds out she likes Indian food, and sends her some. It proves to be too hot for him, so she takes him out on her motorcycle to play pool at some dive and lets him win. She asks him what makes him think the sexaholic article was about him - maybe it was about her. They have a quickie in the back room at the bar. On Monday, he complains that she didn't return any of his calls or emails over the weekend. She tells him she was busy with her boyfriend. HA!!
Betty: Daniel has trouble getting someone to do a hotel review, so he has Betty do it. Spending the weekend at the swanky Soho hotel interferes with her plans to go to Atlantic City with the Turd Sandwich. She halfheartedly invites him, but he refuses. The hotel employees are rude to her until she plays the Mode card, but then they're super-polite.
She nervously agrees to a massage from a hot guy named Sven, but they are interrupted by Turd Sandwich, who sends Sven away. She makes TS buy a nice shirt so they can eat at the hotel restaurant; she wears the most elegant thing she owns - her prom dress, which rivals any bridesmaid dress on the ugly scale. At the restaurant, TS complains loudly about the food and says he doesn't like Betty from Mode - he liked Betty from Queens.
Betty struggles to finish the review, but isn't happy with it or her behavior. She goes home and apologizes to Turd Sandwich. He says he is afraid of losing her; she says she just wants some support from him.
Daniel says the review is great, but it's not for Mode. Betty is crushed, but Sofia agrees to print the review instead.
Next week: Thanksgiving. Be afraid!!
Fey plot: No movement on this plot. No appearance from Chuck or Fey.
At home: Hilda has apparently decided to go with Leah, the lawyer she met on the street last week, to handle Dad's case. Leah just wants $5K as opposed to the guy they met with, who wants $20K. Hilda decides that Santos, Justin's father, is the guy to ask for the money. Turns out he won big on some bet; he gives her $2500 cash right on the spot, in exchange for getting to see Justin, but he doesn't show up for their meeting that night. Justin is disappointed but not surprised.
Eventually Santos does show up, all beat up. He was on his way to pay some debt to his bookie when the thugs got him. Hilda takes pity and invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. When Justin hears about this, he doubts that Santos will show up for that either.
Wil: Wil had Fido send a care package to Nico, but it was full of stuff that Nico didn't want or need. Nico calls to complain about this while Wil is in the middle of a "meeting" with the owner of BeauMart. BeauMart is a discount store, but for some reason Brad wanted Wil to convince this guy to advertise with them, so she is trying to make nice with him at the place of his choice, a roadhouse-style bar.
The meeting hasn't been going extremely well, but after the phone call, they bond over the subject of ungrateful, moody children and he agrees to advertise in Mode. There's also a hint of romance. After their weekend, he sends her some boots and she puts together a new care package for Nico - herself.
Daniel & Sofia: After sprinklers make her offices unusable, Sofia and her staff temporarily move into Mode's fishbowl room. Daniel thinks this is a great opportunity to flirt with/insult her (there's not much difference, with him). Sofia asks Betty to review an article she wrote on sexaholism.
Daniel is convinced that the article is about him and starts reading her book. He finds out she likes Indian food, and sends her some. It proves to be too hot for him, so she takes him out on her motorcycle to play pool at some dive and lets him win. She asks him what makes him think the sexaholic article was about him - maybe it was about her. They have a quickie in the back room at the bar. On Monday, he complains that she didn't return any of his calls or emails over the weekend. She tells him she was busy with her boyfriend. HA!!
Betty: Daniel has trouble getting someone to do a hotel review, so he has Betty do it. Spending the weekend at the swanky Soho hotel interferes with her plans to go to Atlantic City with the Turd Sandwich. She halfheartedly invites him, but he refuses. The hotel employees are rude to her until she plays the Mode card, but then they're super-polite.
She nervously agrees to a massage from a hot guy named Sven, but they are interrupted by Turd Sandwich, who sends Sven away. She makes TS buy a nice shirt so they can eat at the hotel restaurant; she wears the most elegant thing she owns - her prom dress, which rivals any bridesmaid dress on the ugly scale. At the restaurant, TS complains loudly about the food and says he doesn't like Betty from Mode - he liked Betty from Queens.
Betty struggles to finish the review, but isn't happy with it or her behavior. She goes home and apologizes to Turd Sandwich. He says he is afraid of losing her; she says she just wants some support from him.
Daniel says the review is great, but it's not for Mode. Betty is crushed, but Sofia agrees to print the review instead.
Next week: Thanksgiving. Be afraid!!
2006-11-03
11/2/06: Family Ties
Actual title: something about HerbaLux. It's a great title, but I like to make up my own.
Morning
The Suarez family meet with a lawyer to discuss Dad's immigration status, namely, that of illegal alien who is at risk of being deported. The lawyer tells them that the process will begin with them putting him on retainer to the tune of around $20,000. (He is meeting with them for free today only because his wife is an enthusiastic customer of Hilda's. I'll spare you the details of the related defecation reference.)
Fluffy and Daniel show up together at work. She complains, "After last night, I think I need a walker." Neat! She asks him if he ever found out where he left his watch (Betty gave it back to him but didn't tell him who he left it with). When he says no, she tries to explain her feelings to him, but he is too distracted to listen because another woman (Salma Hayek) is looking at him from across the lobby. He tells Fluffy they should take separate elevators upstairs so people at work don't figure out they're having a thing. This elicits a sarcastic comment from Fluffy, which he ignores as he follows not-Salma onto an elevator, leaving Fluffy to fend for herself.
Daniel and not-Salma steal surreptitious glances at one another as the elevator begins its ascent. Finally it stops and everyone else gets off the elevator, leaving the two of them alone. I'd like to know what this building is where the elevator doesn't stop a million times to just let one or two people off and more people on. Anyway, someone bumps non-Salma's arm on his way out, and she gets coffee on her blouse. Alone with Daniel, she complains and then takes her blouse off, spurning his offer of "fashionable clothes" in his office. He assumes that she wants a quickie, based on the fact that she smiled at him in the lobby. She says she was smiling because she was amazed that he thought that ditching poor Fluffy would improve his chances of getting lucky. She puts her jacket on and flirts with him a bit but drops him when they reach her floor.
Later, Daniel and Fluffy sit together at Wil's staff meeting. I am not sure why Wil is running these meetings with Daniel as a mere spectator, given that he's the boss. Oh well, not my problem. She pauses to take a call from her inconvenient daughter, then reminds the staff that the upcoming issue will be Mode's "must" list. She goes off on an unsubtle (and gratuitous) tangent about people wanting to resolve questions about their lives. Fluffy attempts to play footsie with Daniel during the meeting, but this annoys him. No doubt he is thinking about some unresolved questions.
Or perhaps not. When Betty reminds Daniel about an editors' meeting with his father, he asks Betty to find out who the hot chick is that works on the 27th floor.
Brad is moodily watching some old footage of Fey in his office. His assistant reminds him that tomorrow is a special day. "How could I forget," he answers.
That evening
At home, Wil and her daughter Nico discuss Nico's educational opportunities. Nico wants to go to a local school. Wil's opinion seems to be that any school will be great as long as it's out of town. Preferably in Switzerland. Wil talks about how "the Senator" sent her to boarding schools too.
The Suarez family discuss how to raise the money to pay the immigration lawyer. Dad doesn't want to explain why he never took advantage of any of the opportunities he had in the last 30 years to get legal, including amnesty in 1986; he's evasive about the past but is eager to get the ball rolling now. He suggests that they tighten their belts and take second jobs. (I didn't realize he even had a first job?) Betty protests that she hardly has time for the one job she already has. Hilda suggests, for the umpteenth time in just six episodes, that Betty sell HerbaLux with her, especially to all the models at work who must be desperate to lose weight.
Betty finds a photo of Mom. It's actually only the right-hand side of a photo. The other person has been torn out. When Betty questions Dad about this, he claims it's an "old boyfriend." Betty asks how this can be, since he and her mother were supposedly each others' first love. Dad gets impatient and leaves the house to go for a walk. Hilda disapproves of Betty's questions and reminds her that their father has always been there for them. Betty reluctantly agrees to sell HerbaLux to help him out.
Next Day
Hilda makes Betty wear a dorky "10 pounds in 10 days - ask me how!" button, a suitcase-sized sales kit, and some dumb sales pitches to try out on the skinny people at work. Betty admits that it probably sounds better than sticking a finger down one's throat.
Wil sees Betty attempting to sell HerbaLux to Fido (who has a little bit of a Paul Lynde thing goin' on). Wil has tasked Fido with finding a school that would be willing to take Nico. Unfortunately, Nico has already been kicked out of enough boarding schools to have earned a reputation among the remaining schools Wil would like to send her to.
Later, Wil speaks to Fey on the phone. Fey is sitting under a couple of heatlamps in an otherwise darkened room. I wonder if this is going to be like on Pretender where we'd see increasingly bizarre-looking experiments going on in the background anytime we saw Sidney on the phone with Jarod. Anyway, they discuss how Bradford will celebrate this special day. This is both Brad and Fey's birthday. (Day of the Dead? Cool!) Fey suggests that she and Brad are going to celebrate their birthdays together, same as always. And Wil's not invited.
Fey is also concerned that Daniel is doing too well at his new job. Wil mentions Betty again. This is at least the second, but I think the third time they've discussed that Betty is giving Daniel an unexpected advantage. Are they finally going to take some action on this?
Fido bursts into Fey's office, gasping asthmatically. Nico has been arrested for shoplifting.
At the store, an employee apologizes to Nico and insists that someone must have put that dress in Nico's bag without her knowledge. Nico insists that in fact, she stole it on purpose. Then she realizes that her mother has called the store to "fix" the problem. The employee says yes, Nico's mom is a dear friend of theirs. Fido shows up to collect Nico and teases her for thinking that this would be enough to get Wil's attention.
Meanwhile
Daniel attends his dad's editors' meeting. There, he runs into not-Salma, who is pouring herself some coffee. He tells her how he wants his coffee. (Black, two sugars.) She is amused by his arrogance and teases him about the fact that he is an editor, but he is so assured of his studliness that he doesn't detect the obvious irony in her manner, even when she throws in a dig about him being "the only person in the room who was born into his job."
Brad announces the launch of a new weekly magazine for "empowered women." Guess who the editor is? Yep, it's not-Salma (aka Sofia), who is already an accomplished author. Brad asks her to remind them of the name of her bestselling book. "Making Your Man a Bottom," she smugly says as she hands Daniel his coffee and testicles.
Daniel complains to Betty later in his office. She was supposed to find out who that woman was. Betty wasn't able to identify or even narrow down who a shirtless woman in an elevator might be, but she certainly knows who Sofia Reyes is, and is horrified that Daniel didn't. Especially since rumors of this new magazine (and Sofia's connection to it) had been all over the news for the last week.
Daniel is especially horrified because this woman outsmarted him. (If he paid attention, he would realize that lots of women can outsmart him, including Betty.) She seemed to know exactly what he was going to do and say. Betty suggests apologizing. Daniel is worried that an apology won't be smart enough. He wants to do something more profound. An idea hits him. Jewelry! He tells Betty to call his guy at Tiffany's and have him send her "the usual." Shudder. How does this guy even dress himself each morning? Oh yeah, Fluffy probably helps him.
Daniel finds Sofia working out in the clearly marked GYM. The GYM sign is so huge, I have to wonder if it's an acronym. Growing Your Muscles? I'm not sure even that is worthy of such a large sign. At any rate, she is doing some sort of crossed-cable rowing exercise while rejecting some story ideas from an assistant. Daniel whines because she sent his gift from Tiffany's ("the usual") back to him. She tells him the necklace was nice, but too generic. It's like a gift that he gives to impress women he wants to have sex with. Daniel denies this. Sofia prompts her assistant to push her own hair back, revealing the very same necklace. Daniel belatedly recognizes the assistant.
Same day, in Queens
Hilda is selling HerbaLux on a sidewalk when a shopkeeper tries to chase her a way. A passerby intervenes on Hilda's behalf, quoting some statutes at him until he gives up and leaves the two of them to chat alone on the sidewalk. The passerby introduces herself as Leah and admits to Hilda that the statutes she touted actually apply only to disabled veterans. Leah is a lawyer and gives her card to Hilda. Just then, Hilda gets a call and Leah excuses herself.
The call is from Betty. Betty is using some of Mode's spiffy graphics software to take a closer look at that torn photo of Mom. Mom is wearing a wedding ring, but the photo predates Mom's marriage to Dad. Hilda is more interested in Betty's "numbers." Amazingly, Betty has actually sold $10 worth of "energy bars" to Christina (Betty puts this into perspective by saying that Christina also eats haggis). Hilda suspects that Betty isn't wearing her "10 lbs/10 days" button and says she's going to pay her a visit right now and show her how it's done.
When she gets there (with a life-size cardboard cutout of a skinny model named Melanie), Hilda complains that Mode's main office looks like "a gay version of Star Trek." Hmm, I wonder how much time she has spent contemplating such a thing? Betty wants to talk about Mom's photo some more, but Hilda is focused on selling HerbaLux. She sets up shop in the cafeteria and is just about to begin a loud announcement to their captive audience when a thin woman approaches and asks them about their 10 lbs/10 days buttons.
Montage ("Machine Gun" by the Commodores): Betty's coworkers throw away their skimpy lunches and buy HerbaLux crap. Lots of it. Wil catches them. Hilda tries quoting statutes at her, but isn't very good at it. In the middle of this, I notice that Hilda is wearing a push-up bra. Two seconds later, Wil says "how cute - Caesar Chavez in a push-up bra." Now I'm just embarrassed that she caught me looking at Hilda's boobs (although to be fair I was looking at her bra which isn't exactly the same thing). Wil throws Hilda out and calls Betty into her office.
Wil coyly suggests that this doesn't have to be a problem for Betty. She claims that she thinks of all of the employees here as family. (Irony alert! Hope it wasn't too subtle for you!) She hints that she or the company might be able to help Betty's family out financially, if Betty will just tell her what's going on. Betty explains that her father has some "legal problems" that will cost about $20,000 to fix.
Wil starts writing the check immediately, saying that just as she'd do anything for her own daughter, she's sure that Betty would do anything for her father. Betty asks Wil what she wants in return. "Is that something you ask family?" Wil asks with a straight face.
That evening
Brad visits Fey's crypt and tells her casket he wishes she knew how much he misses her. He catches a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye. He seems surprised, but not as surprised as you would expect most people to be when seeing a loved one they've paid to have whacked. He chases her, but she easily gets away.
Betty and Christina discuss Wil's request at some bar. Christina tells Betty it's blood money. Betty knows that, but also knows how important it is for her dad to get a lawyer. Then she wants to talk about the torn photo, but this is even less interesting to Christina than it is to Hilda. C reminds B that it's half-price night at this dive and she should enjoy herself. She tosses a shot of whiskey (or perhaps tequila) into her beer and gulps it down hurriedly. Betty tells the bartender, "I'll have what she's having." Sigh. That line was so much funnier in When Harry Met Sally.
Wil catches Nico eating some cereal. She disapproves. Wil reminisces about the time she bought Nico a fur coat for her 10th birthday. Nico remembers it well, because it was her 11th birthday and she had to model it for a photo shoot - without her mother, who was too busy having a business dinner with some designer.
Wil tells Nico that her shoplifting adventure was an "amateur" attempt at getting her attention and then boasts about the time she tried to seduce Mikhail Baryshnikov when she was 15 and got kicked out of seven different schools. Nico doesn't seem all that impressed with her mother's childish bragging. Wil says that being away from the ones you love makes you stronger, because the only person you can depend on is yourself. She says this is what she learned from the Senator.
Nice. Too bad the Senator never taught her that kids are also supposed to be able to depend on their parents. Not just to get you out of trouble for shoplifting, but to act as though they don't hate your face. Oh well. Wil also casually adds that Nico needs to brush up on her French, because she's going to school in Paris. Tomorrow!
Daniel and Fluffy are in bed. He is distracted. She asks if he's okay. He asks if it would be too generic if he sent her a necklace. She says no, she loved it - he sent it to her after their first night together. Again, he is completely oblivious. He asks if it would be a suitable apology.
She playfully asks what he's apologizing for. She's as oblivious as he is! Fortunately, he quickly clears up the confusion. He starts talking about how he dissed his new colleague Sofia and she didn't like the necklace he sent her. Fluffy is hurt when she realizes that it never even crossed Daniel's mind that he should apologize to her for something. She tries to give him a hint, but his head is somewhere else.
Fluffy says she's not feeling well. She puts her coat on and leaves quickly with her shoes and lingerie in her hands. He doesn't even see her to the door.
At home, Dad is watching his favorite telenovela. (Did I mention these little novela snippets are produced by Rosy Ocampo?) Apparently, this one show is on all day long. Amazing. The luscious priest (from Mundo de Fieras... see it on Univision right after Ugly Betty if you want to see more of him) touches his pregnant girlfriend's swollen belly... a soccer ball falls out of her dress onto the floor. Fr. Tastypants is impactado. Dad is spellbound until Betty stumbles in. She admits she's a little bit drunk and wants to go to bed. Dad wants to talk about it, but she is angry with him. Why should she talk to him about her stuff if he won't talk to her about his stuff? She asks him again about the photo. He refuses to explain. She stomps off to bed.
Next morning
Betty has a hangover. Hilda tells her that Dad left early and asks Betty what happened at the office after she left. Betty says "I got punished" and hands Hilda the $20,000 check. Surely the best punishment ever?? Hilda understands what this check my cost Betty more than it's worth. She promises to look for another way to pay their legal fees, but reminds Betty that it may be their only hope.
Nico is eating cereal alone again. Wil takes it away from her and leaves the room. Nico calls Information and asks for the number for Fashion TV.
Sal- er, Sofia gets on the elevator with Daniel. She doesn't seem thrilled to see him but it's a long climb up to the 27th floor. The elevator inconveniently gets stuck. She accuses him of arranging this. He denies it. He offers to climb up through the access panel and open the door on the next floor. She ridicules his plan. She thinks it would be much easier for him to lift her up through the panel. She warns him not to look up her dress. He tells her not to flatter herself. "Good," she says as she climbs onto his shoulders, "because I'm not wearing any underwear." Hah! While she works on the access panel, he gives into the temptation and looks up. Her feet slip off his shoulders and they fall down, with her on top of him of course. Miraculously, they don't break their necks. He looks like he wants to kiss her.
"You looked, didn't you," she hisses at him as she stands up and the elevator door opens.
Hilda flags Leah down in front of the yoga place and asks if she does immigration work. The answer is yes.
At her desk, Betty and her graduation bunny stare at that big fat check and ponder Wil's beautiful penmanship. Wil encourages her to do what's best for herself. Fluffy rushes up and tells Wil to get down to the lobby right away. Nico's up to something. As Wil hurries to the elevator, Amanda encourages Betty to come along too. She says this might be their big chance to witness an execution.
Nico is giving a press conference in the main lobby of Meade Publications, dressed like Wilma Flinstone and smeared with red paint. She claims that the fashion industry causes the slaughter of innocent animals, and it's all Wilhelmina Slater's fault. Fido tries to cover her up with a coat, but she resists.
Wil arrives in a long fur coat (and evidently nothing underneath). She admonishes Nico for not standing in the best lighting and says this is going to be the big debate for 2007: animal rights vs. fashion rights. She raises her eyebrows, and her forehead crinkles very nicely like a normal person's rather than the over-Botoxed freak she would have us believe. She tells them to read all about it in the January issue of Mode. The onlookers clap and the reporters disperse. Daniel is relieved.
Nico is furious. She says she'll go to Paris, but insists that she and Wil talk... NOW. She is loud. Betty, Amanda, Daniel, etc. stare. Nico asks Wil to act like a mother. She asks if she ever even called the Senator "dad." Wil has no answer.
Too bad the reporters missed that, huh?
Up in the office, Betty tells Wil she can't cash that check. Wil answers "of course you can't." She doesn't seem particularly angry or surprised - just defeated. She wishes Betty luck with her family situation and says "they're never easy." Betty nods in sympathy. Everybody's got problems - even the biggest jerks. Especially the biggest jerks.
Nico comes up to say goodbye. Wil tells her she's said enough and tells her that Fido booked her a flight for 9 tonight. As Nico leaves, Wil tells her in the most bitchy, begrudging way that she does love her. She says she wants what's best for her. "You want what's best for you," Nico says on her way out the door. Only then does Wil let a hint of humanity creep across her face.
Fluffy tells Daniel that she was the one who had his watch. She says he never even thought of her when he was making up his bimbo list, and she's nothing to him but a booty call. She tells him to figure out what he wants and find it. She knows it's not her.
He says he's sorry. She walks out on him. He doesn't follow.
Brad asks Chuck about Fey's crypt. Chuck claims there are security cameras there, but nobody showed up on them. He assures Brad that Fey is dead. Brad insists that he saw her. Chuck accuses Brad of being crazy.
Brad calls someone and tells this person that they need to have a long conversation about their "associate." I suspect that we are supposed to be intrigued by this. I'm getting bored.
That night
Wil eats Nico's cereal alone in her dark kitchen.
Betty reminds her father about how she broke her heel dancing at her quinceañera and he got her to keep dancing instead of running away. (That's not the worst quinceañera story ever to appear in an Ugly Betty TV series. I tried to find a YouTube video of Lety's flashback from La Fea más Bella, but wasn't able to find one.) She apologizes to him and tells him he doesn't owe her an explanation.
Betty has stumbled upon a surefire way to get her dad to talk. All she has to do is say "okay, I give up - don't tell me" and he tells her. The name of the man that was torn out of the photo was Ramiro Vasquez. Betty's mother was married to him. He was a rich guy. Dad was Ramiro's chef. He wooed Mom away from Ramiro, which wasn't so difficult because Ramiro was abusive and Dad rescued her from him. Ramiro threatened him with a knife. Dad beat him to death. Mom and Dad had to flee for their lives. He never applied for citizenship because he was afraid he'd be caught and deported for his crime.
On that happy note...
Next week
Betty must choose between a massage from Sven, or a sorry-looking bunch of flowers from Turd Sandwich. Guess which one she picks!
Morning
The Suarez family meet with a lawyer to discuss Dad's immigration status, namely, that of illegal alien who is at risk of being deported. The lawyer tells them that the process will begin with them putting him on retainer to the tune of around $20,000. (He is meeting with them for free today only because his wife is an enthusiastic customer of Hilda's. I'll spare you the details of the related defecation reference.)
Fluffy and Daniel show up together at work. She complains, "After last night, I think I need a walker." Neat! She asks him if he ever found out where he left his watch (Betty gave it back to him but didn't tell him who he left it with). When he says no, she tries to explain her feelings to him, but he is too distracted to listen because another woman (Salma Hayek) is looking at him from across the lobby. He tells Fluffy they should take separate elevators upstairs so people at work don't figure out they're having a thing. This elicits a sarcastic comment from Fluffy, which he ignores as he follows not-Salma onto an elevator, leaving Fluffy to fend for herself.
Daniel and not-Salma steal surreptitious glances at one another as the elevator begins its ascent. Finally it stops and everyone else gets off the elevator, leaving the two of them alone. I'd like to know what this building is where the elevator doesn't stop a million times to just let one or two people off and more people on. Anyway, someone bumps non-Salma's arm on his way out, and she gets coffee on her blouse. Alone with Daniel, she complains and then takes her blouse off, spurning his offer of "fashionable clothes" in his office. He assumes that she wants a quickie, based on the fact that she smiled at him in the lobby. She says she was smiling because she was amazed that he thought that ditching poor Fluffy would improve his chances of getting lucky. She puts her jacket on and flirts with him a bit but drops him when they reach her floor.
Later, Daniel and Fluffy sit together at Wil's staff meeting. I am not sure why Wil is running these meetings with Daniel as a mere spectator, given that he's the boss. Oh well, not my problem. She pauses to take a call from her inconvenient daughter, then reminds the staff that the upcoming issue will be Mode's "must" list. She goes off on an unsubtle (and gratuitous) tangent about people wanting to resolve questions about their lives. Fluffy attempts to play footsie with Daniel during the meeting, but this annoys him. No doubt he is thinking about some unresolved questions.
Or perhaps not. When Betty reminds Daniel about an editors' meeting with his father, he asks Betty to find out who the hot chick is that works on the 27th floor.
Brad is moodily watching some old footage of Fey in his office. His assistant reminds him that tomorrow is a special day. "How could I forget," he answers.
That evening
At home, Wil and her daughter Nico discuss Nico's educational opportunities. Nico wants to go to a local school. Wil's opinion seems to be that any school will be great as long as it's out of town. Preferably in Switzerland. Wil talks about how "the Senator" sent her to boarding schools too.
The Suarez family discuss how to raise the money to pay the immigration lawyer. Dad doesn't want to explain why he never took advantage of any of the opportunities he had in the last 30 years to get legal, including amnesty in 1986; he's evasive about the past but is eager to get the ball rolling now. He suggests that they tighten their belts and take second jobs. (I didn't realize he even had a first job?) Betty protests that she hardly has time for the one job she already has. Hilda suggests, for the umpteenth time in just six episodes, that Betty sell HerbaLux with her, especially to all the models at work who must be desperate to lose weight.
Betty finds a photo of Mom. It's actually only the right-hand side of a photo. The other person has been torn out. When Betty questions Dad about this, he claims it's an "old boyfriend." Betty asks how this can be, since he and her mother were supposedly each others' first love. Dad gets impatient and leaves the house to go for a walk. Hilda disapproves of Betty's questions and reminds her that their father has always been there for them. Betty reluctantly agrees to sell HerbaLux to help him out.
Next Day
Hilda makes Betty wear a dorky "10 pounds in 10 days - ask me how!" button, a suitcase-sized sales kit, and some dumb sales pitches to try out on the skinny people at work. Betty admits that it probably sounds better than sticking a finger down one's throat.
Wil sees Betty attempting to sell HerbaLux to Fido (who has a little bit of a Paul Lynde thing goin' on). Wil has tasked Fido with finding a school that would be willing to take Nico. Unfortunately, Nico has already been kicked out of enough boarding schools to have earned a reputation among the remaining schools Wil would like to send her to.
Later, Wil speaks to Fey on the phone. Fey is sitting under a couple of heatlamps in an otherwise darkened room. I wonder if this is going to be like on Pretender where we'd see increasingly bizarre-looking experiments going on in the background anytime we saw Sidney on the phone with Jarod. Anyway, they discuss how Bradford will celebrate this special day. This is both Brad and Fey's birthday. (Day of the Dead? Cool!) Fey suggests that she and Brad are going to celebrate their birthdays together, same as always. And Wil's not invited.
Fey is also concerned that Daniel is doing too well at his new job. Wil mentions Betty again. This is at least the second, but I think the third time they've discussed that Betty is giving Daniel an unexpected advantage. Are they finally going to take some action on this?
Fido bursts into Fey's office, gasping asthmatically. Nico has been arrested for shoplifting.
At the store, an employee apologizes to Nico and insists that someone must have put that dress in Nico's bag without her knowledge. Nico insists that in fact, she stole it on purpose. Then she realizes that her mother has called the store to "fix" the problem. The employee says yes, Nico's mom is a dear friend of theirs. Fido shows up to collect Nico and teases her for thinking that this would be enough to get Wil's attention.
Meanwhile
Daniel attends his dad's editors' meeting. There, he runs into not-Salma, who is pouring herself some coffee. He tells her how he wants his coffee. (Black, two sugars.) She is amused by his arrogance and teases him about the fact that he is an editor, but he is so assured of his studliness that he doesn't detect the obvious irony in her manner, even when she throws in a dig about him being "the only person in the room who was born into his job."
Brad announces the launch of a new weekly magazine for "empowered women." Guess who the editor is? Yep, it's not-Salma (aka Sofia), who is already an accomplished author. Brad asks her to remind them of the name of her bestselling book. "Making Your Man a Bottom," she smugly says as she hands Daniel his coffee and testicles.
Daniel complains to Betty later in his office. She was supposed to find out who that woman was. Betty wasn't able to identify or even narrow down who a shirtless woman in an elevator might be, but she certainly knows who Sofia Reyes is, and is horrified that Daniel didn't. Especially since rumors of this new magazine (and Sofia's connection to it) had been all over the news for the last week.
Daniel is especially horrified because this woman outsmarted him. (If he paid attention, he would realize that lots of women can outsmart him, including Betty.) She seemed to know exactly what he was going to do and say. Betty suggests apologizing. Daniel is worried that an apology won't be smart enough. He wants to do something more profound. An idea hits him. Jewelry! He tells Betty to call his guy at Tiffany's and have him send her "the usual." Shudder. How does this guy even dress himself each morning? Oh yeah, Fluffy probably helps him.
Daniel finds Sofia working out in the clearly marked GYM. The GYM sign is so huge, I have to wonder if it's an acronym. Growing Your Muscles? I'm not sure even that is worthy of such a large sign. At any rate, she is doing some sort of crossed-cable rowing exercise while rejecting some story ideas from an assistant. Daniel whines because she sent his gift from Tiffany's ("the usual") back to him. She tells him the necklace was nice, but too generic. It's like a gift that he gives to impress women he wants to have sex with. Daniel denies this. Sofia prompts her assistant to push her own hair back, revealing the very same necklace. Daniel belatedly recognizes the assistant.
Same day, in Queens
Hilda is selling HerbaLux on a sidewalk when a shopkeeper tries to chase her a way. A passerby intervenes on Hilda's behalf, quoting some statutes at him until he gives up and leaves the two of them to chat alone on the sidewalk. The passerby introduces herself as Leah and admits to Hilda that the statutes she touted actually apply only to disabled veterans. Leah is a lawyer and gives her card to Hilda. Just then, Hilda gets a call and Leah excuses herself.
The call is from Betty. Betty is using some of Mode's spiffy graphics software to take a closer look at that torn photo of Mom. Mom is wearing a wedding ring, but the photo predates Mom's marriage to Dad. Hilda is more interested in Betty's "numbers." Amazingly, Betty has actually sold $10 worth of "energy bars" to Christina (Betty puts this into perspective by saying that Christina also eats haggis). Hilda suspects that Betty isn't wearing her "10 lbs/10 days" button and says she's going to pay her a visit right now and show her how it's done.
When she gets there (with a life-size cardboard cutout of a skinny model named Melanie), Hilda complains that Mode's main office looks like "a gay version of Star Trek." Hmm, I wonder how much time she has spent contemplating such a thing? Betty wants to talk about Mom's photo some more, but Hilda is focused on selling HerbaLux. She sets up shop in the cafeteria and is just about to begin a loud announcement to their captive audience when a thin woman approaches and asks them about their 10 lbs/10 days buttons.
Montage ("Machine Gun" by the Commodores): Betty's coworkers throw away their skimpy lunches and buy HerbaLux crap. Lots of it. Wil catches them. Hilda tries quoting statutes at her, but isn't very good at it. In the middle of this, I notice that Hilda is wearing a push-up bra. Two seconds later, Wil says "how cute - Caesar Chavez in a push-up bra." Now I'm just embarrassed that she caught me looking at Hilda's boobs (although to be fair I was looking at her bra which isn't exactly the same thing). Wil throws Hilda out and calls Betty into her office.
Wil coyly suggests that this doesn't have to be a problem for Betty. She claims that she thinks of all of the employees here as family. (Irony alert! Hope it wasn't too subtle for you!) She hints that she or the company might be able to help Betty's family out financially, if Betty will just tell her what's going on. Betty explains that her father has some "legal problems" that will cost about $20,000 to fix.
Wil starts writing the check immediately, saying that just as she'd do anything for her own daughter, she's sure that Betty would do anything for her father. Betty asks Wil what she wants in return. "Is that something you ask family?" Wil asks with a straight face.
That evening
Brad visits Fey's crypt and tells her casket he wishes she knew how much he misses her. He catches a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye. He seems surprised, but not as surprised as you would expect most people to be when seeing a loved one they've paid to have whacked. He chases her, but she easily gets away.
Betty and Christina discuss Wil's request at some bar. Christina tells Betty it's blood money. Betty knows that, but also knows how important it is for her dad to get a lawyer. Then she wants to talk about the torn photo, but this is even less interesting to Christina than it is to Hilda. C reminds B that it's half-price night at this dive and she should enjoy herself. She tosses a shot of whiskey (or perhaps tequila) into her beer and gulps it down hurriedly. Betty tells the bartender, "I'll have what she's having." Sigh. That line was so much funnier in When Harry Met Sally.
Wil catches Nico eating some cereal. She disapproves. Wil reminisces about the time she bought Nico a fur coat for her 10th birthday. Nico remembers it well, because it was her 11th birthday and she had to model it for a photo shoot - without her mother, who was too busy having a business dinner with some designer.
Wil tells Nico that her shoplifting adventure was an "amateur" attempt at getting her attention and then boasts about the time she tried to seduce Mikhail Baryshnikov when she was 15 and got kicked out of seven different schools. Nico doesn't seem all that impressed with her mother's childish bragging. Wil says that being away from the ones you love makes you stronger, because the only person you can depend on is yourself. She says this is what she learned from the Senator.
Nice. Too bad the Senator never taught her that kids are also supposed to be able to depend on their parents. Not just to get you out of trouble for shoplifting, but to act as though they don't hate your face. Oh well. Wil also casually adds that Nico needs to brush up on her French, because she's going to school in Paris. Tomorrow!
Daniel and Fluffy are in bed. He is distracted. She asks if he's okay. He asks if it would be too generic if he sent her a necklace. She says no, she loved it - he sent it to her after their first night together. Again, he is completely oblivious. He asks if it would be a suitable apology.
She playfully asks what he's apologizing for. She's as oblivious as he is! Fortunately, he quickly clears up the confusion. He starts talking about how he dissed his new colleague Sofia and she didn't like the necklace he sent her. Fluffy is hurt when she realizes that it never even crossed Daniel's mind that he should apologize to her for something. She tries to give him a hint, but his head is somewhere else.
Fluffy says she's not feeling well. She puts her coat on and leaves quickly with her shoes and lingerie in her hands. He doesn't even see her to the door.
At home, Dad is watching his favorite telenovela. (Did I mention these little novela snippets are produced by Rosy Ocampo?) Apparently, this one show is on all day long. Amazing. The luscious priest (from Mundo de Fieras... see it on Univision right after Ugly Betty if you want to see more of him) touches his pregnant girlfriend's swollen belly... a soccer ball falls out of her dress onto the floor. Fr. Tastypants is impactado. Dad is spellbound until Betty stumbles in. She admits she's a little bit drunk and wants to go to bed. Dad wants to talk about it, but she is angry with him. Why should she talk to him about her stuff if he won't talk to her about his stuff? She asks him again about the photo. He refuses to explain. She stomps off to bed.
Next morning
Betty has a hangover. Hilda tells her that Dad left early and asks Betty what happened at the office after she left. Betty says "I got punished" and hands Hilda the $20,000 check. Surely the best punishment ever?? Hilda understands what this check my cost Betty more than it's worth. She promises to look for another way to pay their legal fees, but reminds Betty that it may be their only hope.
Nico is eating cereal alone again. Wil takes it away from her and leaves the room. Nico calls Information and asks for the number for Fashion TV.
Sal- er, Sofia gets on the elevator with Daniel. She doesn't seem thrilled to see him but it's a long climb up to the 27th floor. The elevator inconveniently gets stuck. She accuses him of arranging this. He denies it. He offers to climb up through the access panel and open the door on the next floor. She ridicules his plan. She thinks it would be much easier for him to lift her up through the panel. She warns him not to look up her dress. He tells her not to flatter herself. "Good," she says as she climbs onto his shoulders, "because I'm not wearing any underwear." Hah! While she works on the access panel, he gives into the temptation and looks up. Her feet slip off his shoulders and they fall down, with her on top of him of course. Miraculously, they don't break their necks. He looks like he wants to kiss her.
"You looked, didn't you," she hisses at him as she stands up and the elevator door opens.
Hilda flags Leah down in front of the yoga place and asks if she does immigration work. The answer is yes.
At her desk, Betty and her graduation bunny stare at that big fat check and ponder Wil's beautiful penmanship. Wil encourages her to do what's best for herself. Fluffy rushes up and tells Wil to get down to the lobby right away. Nico's up to something. As Wil hurries to the elevator, Amanda encourages Betty to come along too. She says this might be their big chance to witness an execution.
Nico is giving a press conference in the main lobby of Meade Publications, dressed like Wilma Flinstone and smeared with red paint. She claims that the fashion industry causes the slaughter of innocent animals, and it's all Wilhelmina Slater's fault. Fido tries to cover her up with a coat, but she resists.
Wil arrives in a long fur coat (and evidently nothing underneath). She admonishes Nico for not standing in the best lighting and says this is going to be the big debate for 2007: animal rights vs. fashion rights. She raises her eyebrows, and her forehead crinkles very nicely like a normal person's rather than the over-Botoxed freak she would have us believe. She tells them to read all about it in the January issue of Mode. The onlookers clap and the reporters disperse. Daniel is relieved.
Nico is furious. She says she'll go to Paris, but insists that she and Wil talk... NOW. She is loud. Betty, Amanda, Daniel, etc. stare. Nico asks Wil to act like a mother. She asks if she ever even called the Senator "dad." Wil has no answer.
Too bad the reporters missed that, huh?
Up in the office, Betty tells Wil she can't cash that check. Wil answers "of course you can't." She doesn't seem particularly angry or surprised - just defeated. She wishes Betty luck with her family situation and says "they're never easy." Betty nods in sympathy. Everybody's got problems - even the biggest jerks. Especially the biggest jerks.
Nico comes up to say goodbye. Wil tells her she's said enough and tells her that Fido booked her a flight for 9 tonight. As Nico leaves, Wil tells her in the most bitchy, begrudging way that she does love her. She says she wants what's best for her. "You want what's best for you," Nico says on her way out the door. Only then does Wil let a hint of humanity creep across her face.
Fluffy tells Daniel that she was the one who had his watch. She says he never even thought of her when he was making up his bimbo list, and she's nothing to him but a booty call. She tells him to figure out what he wants and find it. She knows it's not her.
He says he's sorry. She walks out on him. He doesn't follow.
Brad asks Chuck about Fey's crypt. Chuck claims there are security cameras there, but nobody showed up on them. He assures Brad that Fey is dead. Brad insists that he saw her. Chuck accuses Brad of being crazy.
Brad calls someone and tells this person that they need to have a long conversation about their "associate." I suspect that we are supposed to be intrigued by this. I'm getting bored.
That night
Wil eats Nico's cereal alone in her dark kitchen.
Betty reminds her father about how she broke her heel dancing at her quinceañera and he got her to keep dancing instead of running away. (That's not the worst quinceañera story ever to appear in an Ugly Betty TV series. I tried to find a YouTube video of Lety's flashback from La Fea más Bella, but wasn't able to find one.) She apologizes to him and tells him he doesn't owe her an explanation.
Betty has stumbled upon a surefire way to get her dad to talk. All she has to do is say "okay, I give up - don't tell me" and he tells her. The name of the man that was torn out of the photo was Ramiro Vasquez. Betty's mother was married to him. He was a rich guy. Dad was Ramiro's chef. He wooed Mom away from Ramiro, which wasn't so difficult because Ramiro was abusive and Dad rescued her from him. Ramiro threatened him with a knife. Dad beat him to death. Mom and Dad had to flee for their lives. He never applied for citizenship because he was afraid he'd be caught and deported for his crime.
On that happy note...
Next week
Betty must choose between a massage from Sven, or a sorry-looking bunch of flowers from Turd Sandwich. Guess which one she picks!
2006-10-27
10/26/06: The All-Judging Butterfly
"The Lyin', the Watch, & the Wardrobe" is the actual title of this one, but I like mine better.
In the last few weeks, the idea of doing both a mini and a full recap has fallen by the wayside. I just don't have the time for it and it doesn't seem worth the effort.
Suarez home, day
Dad for some reason demands that Betty come down to fix his breakfast, even though he's usually the one who does the cooking. It turns out to be the setup for a Halloween joke. Hahahaha. Justin comes down in a sailor suit. Is he a sailor? Hells no, he's Gene Kelly from "On the Town." He sings and dances. Hilda wants him to pretend he's a sailor instead.
They talk about Betty's plans for the evening. She's going out on a date with Walter, or as I shall call him, Turd Sandwich. Betty tells Hilda about the HMO's confusion over Dad's Social Security number.
Later, Hilda comes home with groceries and asks him about the Social Security number. He becomes evasive and asks her to help him put up some Halloween decorations.
Brad & Chuck
Brad is angry about the music box, and Chuck is just as surprised as he is. And... that's it for Chuck this week.
Wil's fat Tuesday
Fido shows up in a Betty costume - heavy eyebrows and a big Guadalajara poncho. He gives Wil her messages. They're mostly from boyfriends and there are a couple of messages from "Nico." These seem to especially annoy Wil. She brags about her hot date last night with some young guy named Jason. She's going to date him again tonight. Yes - the same guy two nights in a row. Fido is impressed.
Unfortunately, the news of Wil & Jason has not escaped Fashion TV. In their coverage of last night's date, the reporter sneeringly accuses Wil of "robbing the cradle." Fido scrambles to turn the TV off, but it is too late. Wil sees the whole thing and is horrified. She tells Fido to call Jason and cancel their date, then find her a new date for tonight. And also get out of that horrible Betty costume.
She and Fido go through a stack of photos of possible dates for this evening. They're all too old for her liking. "I think this one's face is on our money," she says of one. Of another, she complains that he leaks.
Christina comes up with Wil's dress for tonight's ball. Wil keeps calling her Carlotta. The size 2 dress is too small. Over Fido's silent but wildly gesticulated protests, Christina timidly suggests that perhaps Wil has gained just a tiny bit of weight. This does not go over well.
Wil tries a heat wrap to shed five pounds. Fido offers her a salad, but she refuses it. She's also annoyed that Nico has called again.
Christina tells Fido that she's located the same dress in a size 4. Fido worries that Wil will find out. Christina says she's going to remove the evidence. Lo and behold, the dress fits, but Wil is immediately suspicious. Christina just can't keep her mouth shut for half a minute and admits that it's a size 4 and she ate the tag. Wil sits down and there is a ripping sound. She chastises herself. She's the one who set the standards, but now she's too old to live up to them.
Christina tries to cheer her up. She says if she shows up to the ball with a hot younger man, tomorrow every woman in America will want to date a younger man. Christina stitches the dress back up while Wil morosely eats a sandwich.
Young Jason shows up for his date with Wil. Just as they are about to leave, Fluffy unhappily announces the arrival of Nico. Turns out Nico is Wil's daughter. Hah, hah, what a big surprise! This is the second time they've set us up to expect one sort of person to visit Wil and end up with another. Last time it was her hot date the Senator, who turned out to be her father. Now it's Nico, her daughter. Whatever! I can't wait to meet the rest of her family. The doctor in the white coat... her sister! The repo man... her uncle! Someone "very close"... her cleaning lady (just to keep things interesting).
Jason looks uncomfortable when he realizes that Wil is old enough to have an adult daughter.
Rewind: Mode in the morning
Betty is headed to work in a butterfly costume. Clad in a safari outfit, the Turd Sandwich accosts her with a butterfly net and gives her a plastic pumpkin full of candy. Gross. I can't stand him.
When she gets to work, she is the only one in costume (Fido already having taken off his poncho and eyebrows). It turns out that the email about a "costume contest" came from Fluffy and Fido and she was the only recipient. Big surprise! Fortunately, she gets the joke and declares herself the winner.
Daniel has lost one of his designer watches that probably costs more than I make in a year. He needs it back for tonight's costume ball (Betty is clearly not invited to this affair) because the actual designer is hosting the ball. Daniel knows he left the watch at one of his bimbos' places, but he's not sure which one. I give him credit for being so meticulous as to take his watch off just for a quickie. Me, I'd want to time myself. Oh well. He doesn't have time to look for it himself, so he makes up a list for Betty to check out, but he can't even remember all of last week's chicks. Betty makes a disapproving face, and Daniel tells her not to give him that look, "the All-Judging Butterfly." This cracks me up so much that if I weren't still distraught from tonight's La Fea Más Bella episode, I'd probably laugh.
A Greek spinach pie is mentioned. I love Greek spinach pie. LOVE IT.
He claims that all of these women were adults. "I checked," he assures her. The funny thing is that I remember him cluelessly hitting on an alleged 12-yo girl a few weeks ago. He tells Betty to ask Fluffy to cover the phones while Betty looks for the watch.
Betty starts calling these bimbos and leaving messages for them. When she explains this task to Fluffy, she remembers that Fluffy is one of Daniel's bimbos, but Fluffy denies that she cares about Daniel's other women. She says it's not like she's planning on marrying him, but then hurriedly starts stuffing her face with the Turd Sandwich's candy.
A man from Accounting saunters up. His name is Henry, but I see no reason not to call him Hotty. He's a bit nerdy, but in a hot way. Too young for me, really, but still hot. He flirts with Betty a bit. After he leaves, Fluffy teases Betty about this. Rummaging some more through Betty's plastic pumpkin, Fluffy finds a gift from the Turd Sandwich: a housekey. The Turd Sandwich wants Betty to move in with him. Gross.
Betty rushes down to the Closet to tell Christina about this development. She tells her how loyal the Turd Sandwich (gross) has been to her, most of the time, except for that one time with the neighborhood slut. She also tells Christina that TS is the only guy she's ever... [meaningful eye-roll]. Oh, right, that's a GREAT reason to hang onto him, Betty. Christina agrees with me, but in a more butterfly-punny, less sarcastic way.
Betty hits the streets, still in her butterfly costume. Note to readers: when going anywhere in costume, bring a change of clothing. Just in case. She is checking up on some of Daniel's bimbos in person, since for some strange reason they didn't return her calls.
The first bimbo wants to know why, if he's so eager to get in touch with her this week, he didn't return her calls last week and why does he send out his assistant to do his dirty work. She vents her frustration on Betty and throws a pair of his underpants at her. She claims that she was Daniel's last chance for happiness.
The Turd Sandwich calls, wanting to know if she finished her candy (i.e. found the key) yet, but she's too busy and flustered to talk to him. She has Daniel on the other line. She suggests sending flowers to all the women, because they might not be in such a good mood. He agrees, and tells her to call Fluffy and have her send a dozen roses to each.
The next woman is simply confused by Daniel's neglect. She's sure they have a sincere relationship, and accuses Betty of trying to sabotage it. She tells Betty she won't give Daniel up without a fight! Betty tears one of her wings in her haste to leave this nutjob.
Betty gets back to the office and is repairing the torn wing when Hotty shows up and offers to help. Turd Sandwich calls again and Betty blows him off. Hotty makes some nerdy butterfly jokes and invites Betty to lunch. Betty refuses, then reconsiders and accepts.
Looking at the bimbo list, Fluffy wonders out loud why Miss Monday isn't getting flowers. Betty says Daniel couldn't remember who that was. It's pretty obvious from Fluffy's reaction that she remembers, though. She crumples up the list and throws it into a drawer alongside an expensive wristwatch and a magazine. (I was hoping it'd be a bridal magazine, but it's just an issue of Mode.)
Who's the boss?
While Betty flits through Manhattan looking for that stupid watch, Daniel visits his mom, Claire, aka Judith Light. Funny, the way they were talking about her last week, I thought she was dead, but it turns out she's only in rehab at a seriously swanky place. She's not having a good time. They took away her perfume and her liquid eyeliner for fear that she'll drink them.
She's annoyed with Daniel for not having visited her once in the 26 days since she's been here. He asks her about Fey. She says if she's going to talk about that, she wants lunch in a proper restaurant. There, Daniel confiscates his mother's wine and they question one another about their love lives, such as they are.
He asks about "that" Christmas 20 years ago, when Daniel was 12. That means he's 32 now (thank goodness for the Windows built-in calculator). He looks much younger. Anyway. She tells him that Fey would sometimes call their house and play the music box at her over the phone just to taunt her. Brad told her he had ended the relationship, but in reality the affair continued right up until six weeks ago - shortly before Fey's death.
She drags the conversation back to Daniel's love life, advising him not to be a philanderer. He wants to hear the rest of the Fey story instead. She wants a sip of wine in return. He reluctantly agrees. She quickly drains the glass and then says she and Fey made Brad choose. Daniel asks who he chose. "One of us is here, and one of us is dead," she concludes. "You figure it out."
He brings her back to the rehab place and signs her back in. It looks as though maybe he got her an extra drink. She warns Daniel to be careful about his father. She says Brad stuck her in this place when she pushed him, and who knows what he'd do with Daniel. He asks if she thinks Brad is capable of murder. Claire says she thinks he's capable of anything.
Mode in the afternoon
Hotty and Betty go to a sushi place for lunch. Betty has never had sushi before and is clearly intimidated by it. He offers to take her someplace else, but she says no, it's good for her to try new things. She punctuates this with a sweeping gesture, which knocks the tray right off of a waitress's hand. This reminds me of the time I was out on a first date at TGI Friday's with this guy named Bryant who turned out to be a jerk, but of course I didn't know that at the time and was quite smitten. I don't recall what I was saying when I waved my hand in a similar fashion and knocked his drink, a virgin concoction called a Gold Medalist which was full of super-staining blueberries, clean off the table and onto the tier below us, where fortunately no one was sitting.
But I digress. I can't help it. Every time she does something goofy, it reminds me of something goofy I've done.
Hotty tries some self-deprecating humor to put Betty at ease. She's too horrified by her clumsiness to be comforted, but I'm totally charmed and in love. And THEN he whips off his glasses, pushes his necktie aside, and tugs open his conservative looking button-down shirt to reveal a Superman-looking undershirt with a dollar sign where the S would be. OMG, now I'm REALLY in love. I would SO be spilling Gold Medalists all over the place if I were Betty. I would be going into other restaurants looking for additional drinks to spill.
Meanwhile, instead of sending flowers, Fluffy calls the bimbos and pretends to be from a health clinic, saying that Daniel has scabies and giving them advice on how to treat it. Turd Sandwich shows up and wants to see Betty. Fluffy tells him that Betty is at the sushi place with "what's-his-face." He leaves.
Betty wants to know why Hotty's been spending so much time on her floor lately. Duh. He shoves a piece of caterpillar roll (or something) in her mouth. (Over here, baby!) Turd Sandwich shows up. Gross. He accuses her of cheating on him and demands an explanation. When Hotty offers to make himself scarce, Turd Sandwich says no, he'll go instead since clearly he embarrasses her. Listen, TS, you embarrass me too. Please don't come back. Go program a remote control or something.
Back at the office, Betty whines about this to Christina. She complains that while a guy like Daniel can juggle lots of women, she can't even manage to date two men, and that she can't decide whether to go find the Turd Sandwich and apologize, or go find Hotty and thank him for a nice lunch. She worries that she is turning into Daniel. Christina scoffs.
Betty realizes that Fluffy sent herself flowers because she's Miss Monday. Fluffy flees to the restroom and Betty follows her into a spacious, frosted-glass stall which I can't decide whether that's really cool, or too creepy for a bathroom. Betty is mad at Fluffy for letting her run around all over town trying to track down the watch when she very well knows where that watch is. Fluffy admits that she is disappointed that Daniel can't remember that he was with her on Monday night. Actually she is worse than disappointed - she's crying.
Betty wants Fluffy to discuss this with Daniel, but Fluffy thinks it's pretty clear how he feels about her since she's supposed to sleep with him and then take the other bimbos' messages for him. She thought he would eventually get sick of serial dating, like she did. In fact, she's sure he will. Then she composes herself, gets her attitude back, and tells Betty "this never happened."
Betty gives the watch to Daniel. He asks "which one" had it. She replies, "does it matter?" He thinks for a moment and answers "not really, I guess." She gives him a sad look and he protests that he sent roses to all of them. (Actually Fluffy sent them and it was Betty's idea.) She says she can't deny that he can do whatever he wants, but reminds him that people do get hurt as a result of his actions. He says he's had a rough week and has had a lot on his mind.
Wrapup
Daniel brings Brad both the music boxes and confronts him. Brad flippantly advises Daniel never to buy the same gift for both his wife and his mistress. He says he was careless with Claire's feelings, and that Fey wouldn't back off. He admits that he loved Fey more than the "many, many other" girfriends, one of whom must be their mystery caller looking for revenge. Daniel shows Brad the scorched license plate from the music box. Brad denies involvement in Fey's death but admits that he's a lousy husband and father. He advises Daniel to settle down with one woman.
Betty meets Hotty in the elevator. She thanks him for lunch, and he apologizes for putting her through the stress. He invites her to a party in HR. She turns him down in favor of a Turd Sandwich. Gross. He's disappointed, and I want to soothe him with a hot bath, some Night Train, and a spanking. Then we can watch insect pr0n together and then... oh, sorry. Back to the recap.
Fluffy meets Daniel in the elevator. He admits that he's not in the mood to attend the Halloween ball, so she invites herself to his place, but he turns down her flirtatious offer. He says he just wants to be alone. Then she desperately suggests that they could "just talk" and he turns that down too. Not knowing that Daniel has spent most of the day with his bitter, jilted, alcoholic mother and his homicidal father and being scolded by everyone he knows for his playboy lifestyle, Fluffy leaves feeling rejected and depressed and probably heads straight for the ice cream aisle at the store. I recommend Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra but I don't know if they sell that in the size she's going to need.
Wil meets with Fey, who is getting toasted under a sunlamp or something, which may not be helpful since she's still swaddled like a mummy, and Wil complains about her crummy day and how her kid showed up just as she was leaving with her date. She says she sent Jason back home to his frat house to bob for apples. Fey is more interested in Brad and Daniel. Wil says it looks as though they've patched things up, at least for the time being. Fey says it might be time for Fey Somers to come out of seclusion.
To Hilda's horror, Justin is tap-dancing down the sidewalk in his sailor suit when Betty gets home. Turd Sandwich makes Betty reach into his pocket for raisins (that's not a euphemism). She apologizes about lunch and he apologizes for being too pushy and regrets taking the advice of a horoscope from the Daily News. Yeah, no doubt he'll have more luck with the horoscopes in the Times or the Wall Street Journal. She tells TS she prefers him (she must need new glasses) over Hotty; it's just too soon to move in. She kisses him. Gross.
Dad greets her dressed as Dracula. He is geriatrically handsome in his costume. He admits he's been using someone else's SSN because he's an illegal alien. Betty stares at him, impactada.
Next week: Salma Hayek (or Dad's favorite telenovela actress) sets her sights on Daniel, much to Fluffy's annoyance.
In the last few weeks, the idea of doing both a mini and a full recap has fallen by the wayside. I just don't have the time for it and it doesn't seem worth the effort.
Suarez home, day
Dad for some reason demands that Betty come down to fix his breakfast, even though he's usually the one who does the cooking. It turns out to be the setup for a Halloween joke. Hahahaha. Justin comes down in a sailor suit. Is he a sailor? Hells no, he's Gene Kelly from "On the Town." He sings and dances. Hilda wants him to pretend he's a sailor instead.
They talk about Betty's plans for the evening. She's going out on a date with Walter, or as I shall call him, Turd Sandwich. Betty tells Hilda about the HMO's confusion over Dad's Social Security number.
Later, Hilda comes home with groceries and asks him about the Social Security number. He becomes evasive and asks her to help him put up some Halloween decorations.
Brad & Chuck
Brad is angry about the music box, and Chuck is just as surprised as he is. And... that's it for Chuck this week.
Wil's fat Tuesday
Fido shows up in a Betty costume - heavy eyebrows and a big Guadalajara poncho. He gives Wil her messages. They're mostly from boyfriends and there are a couple of messages from "Nico." These seem to especially annoy Wil. She brags about her hot date last night with some young guy named Jason. She's going to date him again tonight. Yes - the same guy two nights in a row. Fido is impressed.
Unfortunately, the news of Wil & Jason has not escaped Fashion TV. In their coverage of last night's date, the reporter sneeringly accuses Wil of "robbing the cradle." Fido scrambles to turn the TV off, but it is too late. Wil sees the whole thing and is horrified. She tells Fido to call Jason and cancel their date, then find her a new date for tonight. And also get out of that horrible Betty costume.
She and Fido go through a stack of photos of possible dates for this evening. They're all too old for her liking. "I think this one's face is on our money," she says of one. Of another, she complains that he leaks.
Christina comes up with Wil's dress for tonight's ball. Wil keeps calling her Carlotta. The size 2 dress is too small. Over Fido's silent but wildly gesticulated protests, Christina timidly suggests that perhaps Wil has gained just a tiny bit of weight. This does not go over well.
Wil tries a heat wrap to shed five pounds. Fido offers her a salad, but she refuses it. She's also annoyed that Nico has called again.
Christina tells Fido that she's located the same dress in a size 4. Fido worries that Wil will find out. Christina says she's going to remove the evidence. Lo and behold, the dress fits, but Wil is immediately suspicious. Christina just can't keep her mouth shut for half a minute and admits that it's a size 4 and she ate the tag. Wil sits down and there is a ripping sound. She chastises herself. She's the one who set the standards, but now she's too old to live up to them.
Christina tries to cheer her up. She says if she shows up to the ball with a hot younger man, tomorrow every woman in America will want to date a younger man. Christina stitches the dress back up while Wil morosely eats a sandwich.
Young Jason shows up for his date with Wil. Just as they are about to leave, Fluffy unhappily announces the arrival of Nico. Turns out Nico is Wil's daughter. Hah, hah, what a big surprise! This is the second time they've set us up to expect one sort of person to visit Wil and end up with another. Last time it was her hot date the Senator, who turned out to be her father. Now it's Nico, her daughter. Whatever! I can't wait to meet the rest of her family. The doctor in the white coat... her sister! The repo man... her uncle! Someone "very close"... her cleaning lady (just to keep things interesting).
Jason looks uncomfortable when he realizes that Wil is old enough to have an adult daughter.
Rewind: Mode in the morning
Betty is headed to work in a butterfly costume. Clad in a safari outfit, the Turd Sandwich accosts her with a butterfly net and gives her a plastic pumpkin full of candy. Gross. I can't stand him.
When she gets to work, she is the only one in costume (Fido already having taken off his poncho and eyebrows). It turns out that the email about a "costume contest" came from Fluffy and Fido and she was the only recipient. Big surprise! Fortunately, she gets the joke and declares herself the winner.
Daniel has lost one of his designer watches that probably costs more than I make in a year. He needs it back for tonight's costume ball (Betty is clearly not invited to this affair) because the actual designer is hosting the ball. Daniel knows he left the watch at one of his bimbos' places, but he's not sure which one. I give him credit for being so meticulous as to take his watch off just for a quickie. Me, I'd want to time myself. Oh well. He doesn't have time to look for it himself, so he makes up a list for Betty to check out, but he can't even remember all of last week's chicks. Betty makes a disapproving face, and Daniel tells her not to give him that look, "the All-Judging Butterfly." This cracks me up so much that if I weren't still distraught from tonight's La Fea Más Bella episode, I'd probably laugh.
A Greek spinach pie is mentioned. I love Greek spinach pie. LOVE IT.
He claims that all of these women were adults. "I checked," he assures her. The funny thing is that I remember him cluelessly hitting on an alleged 12-yo girl a few weeks ago. He tells Betty to ask Fluffy to cover the phones while Betty looks for the watch.
Betty starts calling these bimbos and leaving messages for them. When she explains this task to Fluffy, she remembers that Fluffy is one of Daniel's bimbos, but Fluffy denies that she cares about Daniel's other women. She says it's not like she's planning on marrying him, but then hurriedly starts stuffing her face with the Turd Sandwich's candy.
A man from Accounting saunters up. His name is Henry, but I see no reason not to call him Hotty. He's a bit nerdy, but in a hot way. Too young for me, really, but still hot. He flirts with Betty a bit. After he leaves, Fluffy teases Betty about this. Rummaging some more through Betty's plastic pumpkin, Fluffy finds a gift from the Turd Sandwich: a housekey. The Turd Sandwich wants Betty to move in with him. Gross.
Betty rushes down to the Closet to tell Christina about this development. She tells her how loyal the Turd Sandwich (gross) has been to her, most of the time, except for that one time with the neighborhood slut. She also tells Christina that TS is the only guy she's ever... [meaningful eye-roll]. Oh, right, that's a GREAT reason to hang onto him, Betty. Christina agrees with me, but in a more butterfly-punny, less sarcastic way.
Betty hits the streets, still in her butterfly costume. Note to readers: when going anywhere in costume, bring a change of clothing. Just in case. She is checking up on some of Daniel's bimbos in person, since for some strange reason they didn't return her calls.
The first bimbo wants to know why, if he's so eager to get in touch with her this week, he didn't return her calls last week and why does he send out his assistant to do his dirty work. She vents her frustration on Betty and throws a pair of his underpants at her. She claims that she was Daniel's last chance for happiness.
The Turd Sandwich calls, wanting to know if she finished her candy (i.e. found the key) yet, but she's too busy and flustered to talk to him. She has Daniel on the other line. She suggests sending flowers to all the women, because they might not be in such a good mood. He agrees, and tells her to call Fluffy and have her send a dozen roses to each.
The next woman is simply confused by Daniel's neglect. She's sure they have a sincere relationship, and accuses Betty of trying to sabotage it. She tells Betty she won't give Daniel up without a fight! Betty tears one of her wings in her haste to leave this nutjob.
Betty gets back to the office and is repairing the torn wing when Hotty shows up and offers to help. Turd Sandwich calls again and Betty blows him off. Hotty makes some nerdy butterfly jokes and invites Betty to lunch. Betty refuses, then reconsiders and accepts.
Looking at the bimbo list, Fluffy wonders out loud why Miss Monday isn't getting flowers. Betty says Daniel couldn't remember who that was. It's pretty obvious from Fluffy's reaction that she remembers, though. She crumples up the list and throws it into a drawer alongside an expensive wristwatch and a magazine. (I was hoping it'd be a bridal magazine, but it's just an issue of Mode.)
Who's the boss?
While Betty flits through Manhattan looking for that stupid watch, Daniel visits his mom, Claire, aka Judith Light. Funny, the way they were talking about her last week, I thought she was dead, but it turns out she's only in rehab at a seriously swanky place. She's not having a good time. They took away her perfume and her liquid eyeliner for fear that she'll drink them.
She's annoyed with Daniel for not having visited her once in the 26 days since she's been here. He asks her about Fey. She says if she's going to talk about that, she wants lunch in a proper restaurant. There, Daniel confiscates his mother's wine and they question one another about their love lives, such as they are.
He asks about "that" Christmas 20 years ago, when Daniel was 12. That means he's 32 now (thank goodness for the Windows built-in calculator). He looks much younger. Anyway. She tells him that Fey would sometimes call their house and play the music box at her over the phone just to taunt her. Brad told her he had ended the relationship, but in reality the affair continued right up until six weeks ago - shortly before Fey's death.
She drags the conversation back to Daniel's love life, advising him not to be a philanderer. He wants to hear the rest of the Fey story instead. She wants a sip of wine in return. He reluctantly agrees. She quickly drains the glass and then says she and Fey made Brad choose. Daniel asks who he chose. "One of us is here, and one of us is dead," she concludes. "You figure it out."
He brings her back to the rehab place and signs her back in. It looks as though maybe he got her an extra drink. She warns Daniel to be careful about his father. She says Brad stuck her in this place when she pushed him, and who knows what he'd do with Daniel. He asks if she thinks Brad is capable of murder. Claire says she thinks he's capable of anything.
Mode in the afternoon
Hotty and Betty go to a sushi place for lunch. Betty has never had sushi before and is clearly intimidated by it. He offers to take her someplace else, but she says no, it's good for her to try new things. She punctuates this with a sweeping gesture, which knocks the tray right off of a waitress's hand. This reminds me of the time I was out on a first date at TGI Friday's with this guy named Bryant who turned out to be a jerk, but of course I didn't know that at the time and was quite smitten. I don't recall what I was saying when I waved my hand in a similar fashion and knocked his drink, a virgin concoction called a Gold Medalist which was full of super-staining blueberries, clean off the table and onto the tier below us, where fortunately no one was sitting.
But I digress. I can't help it. Every time she does something goofy, it reminds me of something goofy I've done.
Hotty tries some self-deprecating humor to put Betty at ease. She's too horrified by her clumsiness to be comforted, but I'm totally charmed and in love. And THEN he whips off his glasses, pushes his necktie aside, and tugs open his conservative looking button-down shirt to reveal a Superman-looking undershirt with a dollar sign where the S would be. OMG, now I'm REALLY in love. I would SO be spilling Gold Medalists all over the place if I were Betty. I would be going into other restaurants looking for additional drinks to spill.
Meanwhile, instead of sending flowers, Fluffy calls the bimbos and pretends to be from a health clinic, saying that Daniel has scabies and giving them advice on how to treat it. Turd Sandwich shows up and wants to see Betty. Fluffy tells him that Betty is at the sushi place with "what's-his-face." He leaves.
Betty wants to know why Hotty's been spending so much time on her floor lately. Duh. He shoves a piece of caterpillar roll (or something) in her mouth. (Over here, baby!) Turd Sandwich shows up. Gross. He accuses her of cheating on him and demands an explanation. When Hotty offers to make himself scarce, Turd Sandwich says no, he'll go instead since clearly he embarrasses her. Listen, TS, you embarrass me too. Please don't come back. Go program a remote control or something.
Back at the office, Betty whines about this to Christina. She complains that while a guy like Daniel can juggle lots of women, she can't even manage to date two men, and that she can't decide whether to go find the Turd Sandwich and apologize, or go find Hotty and thank him for a nice lunch. She worries that she is turning into Daniel. Christina scoffs.
Betty realizes that Fluffy sent herself flowers because she's Miss Monday. Fluffy flees to the restroom and Betty follows her into a spacious, frosted-glass stall which I can't decide whether that's really cool, or too creepy for a bathroom. Betty is mad at Fluffy for letting her run around all over town trying to track down the watch when she very well knows where that watch is. Fluffy admits that she is disappointed that Daniel can't remember that he was with her on Monday night. Actually she is worse than disappointed - she's crying.
Betty wants Fluffy to discuss this with Daniel, but Fluffy thinks it's pretty clear how he feels about her since she's supposed to sleep with him and then take the other bimbos' messages for him. She thought he would eventually get sick of serial dating, like she did. In fact, she's sure he will. Then she composes herself, gets her attitude back, and tells Betty "this never happened."
Betty gives the watch to Daniel. He asks "which one" had it. She replies, "does it matter?" He thinks for a moment and answers "not really, I guess." She gives him a sad look and he protests that he sent roses to all of them. (Actually Fluffy sent them and it was Betty's idea.) She says she can't deny that he can do whatever he wants, but reminds him that people do get hurt as a result of his actions. He says he's had a rough week and has had a lot on his mind.
Wrapup
Daniel brings Brad both the music boxes and confronts him. Brad flippantly advises Daniel never to buy the same gift for both his wife and his mistress. He says he was careless with Claire's feelings, and that Fey wouldn't back off. He admits that he loved Fey more than the "many, many other" girfriends, one of whom must be their mystery caller looking for revenge. Daniel shows Brad the scorched license plate from the music box. Brad denies involvement in Fey's death but admits that he's a lousy husband and father. He advises Daniel to settle down with one woman.
Betty meets Hotty in the elevator. She thanks him for lunch, and he apologizes for putting her through the stress. He invites her to a party in HR. She turns him down in favor of a Turd Sandwich. Gross. He's disappointed, and I want to soothe him with a hot bath, some Night Train, and a spanking. Then we can watch insect pr0n together and then... oh, sorry. Back to the recap.
Fluffy meets Daniel in the elevator. He admits that he's not in the mood to attend the Halloween ball, so she invites herself to his place, but he turns down her flirtatious offer. He says he just wants to be alone. Then she desperately suggests that they could "just talk" and he turns that down too. Not knowing that Daniel has spent most of the day with his bitter, jilted, alcoholic mother and his homicidal father and being scolded by everyone he knows for his playboy lifestyle, Fluffy leaves feeling rejected and depressed and probably heads straight for the ice cream aisle at the store. I recommend Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra but I don't know if they sell that in the size she's going to need.
Wil meets with Fey, who is getting toasted under a sunlamp or something, which may not be helpful since she's still swaddled like a mummy, and Wil complains about her crummy day and how her kid showed up just as she was leaving with her date. She says she sent Jason back home to his frat house to bob for apples. Fey is more interested in Brad and Daniel. Wil says it looks as though they've patched things up, at least for the time being. Fey says it might be time for Fey Somers to come out of seclusion.
To Hilda's horror, Justin is tap-dancing down the sidewalk in his sailor suit when Betty gets home. Turd Sandwich makes Betty reach into his pocket for raisins (that's not a euphemism). She apologizes about lunch and he apologizes for being too pushy and regrets taking the advice of a horoscope from the Daily News. Yeah, no doubt he'll have more luck with the horoscopes in the Times or the Wall Street Journal. She tells TS she prefers him (she must need new glasses) over Hotty; it's just too soon to move in. She kisses him. Gross.
Dad greets her dressed as Dracula. He is geriatrically handsome in his costume. He admits he's been using someone else's SSN because he's an illegal alien. Betty stares at him, impactada.
Next week: Salma Hayek (or Dad's favorite telenovela actress) sets her sights on Daniel, much to Fluffy's annoyance.
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