May 15, 2008 (2.17, aka #40): The Youth Perspective

Sorry for the delay! I'll cover the subplots first:

Amanda

Amanda brags to Fido about the new reality show she's making with her daddy, Gene Simmons. Fido wants to be on the show, but Amanda says he's not "TV-cute."

Fido shows up for the taping anyway. She tries to tell him that it's not her, but Simmons who doesn't want him to be on the show. She says he "hates the gays." Fido confronts him to tell him off, but Simmons thinks he's funny and fabulous, and invites him to be on the show (apparently a future episode).

On camera, Simmons and Amanda mush about their cosmic connection as father and daughter. When the cameras stop, however, he immediately switches into jerk mode and ignores her to take a phone call.

Fido notices and comments about it to Amanda. Amanda says he's just jealous.

Amanda goes to Simmons, sad about her fight with Fido. At first, he is not interested. When she insists that he pay attention to her, he calls the camera over to capture their magical moment. As he leans forward, she notices that his incriminating Tweetie tattoo is smudged. She asks him if he's really her father.

At first, Fido is sarcastic with Amanda after the show. Amanda apologizes for not wanting him around; she didn't want him to see that Simmons is only nice to her when people are looking. He was using her as a publicity stunt.

Fido is relieved that they're not related, because he doesn't want her to look like Simmons someday. But he's sorry she still doesn't know who her family is. Amanda kisses Fido's cheek and says yes, she does.

(Yay, I was wrong about this story line being resolved in a lame manner!)

Wil and the Meades

Wil and her baby have made the news. It's now general knowledge that Bradford Meade is the baby daddy; the press doesn't know who the surrogate is. The Meades decline to give statements.

The company is to be divided equally among Bradford's children, per Brad's will - evidently, this includes children that haven't been born yet. Wil will have control of one third of the company until that child grows up.

She makes her grand return to Mode. She holds out her hand for Daniel to shake. Daniel reluctantly takes it. She tries to pull him in for a hug - he braces his hand against her shoulder to hold her off. Fido snaps a pic of this moment. Then they go to her old office to gloat some more.

Alexis and Daniel agree that Wil won't have any creative input. She'll be outvoted two-to-one on everything. They pinkie swear on it.

Later, Wil crashes an editorial meeting, miffed that she wasn't invited. Daniel wants to do a war-oriented cover. Alexis thinks it's risky. Wil says it's great, but Elle is already doing it a month earlier. She drums her lacquered fingers on the glass conference table and slurps her coffee loudly as Daniel stammers and tries to recover. He becomes flustered and retreats to the restroom to sulk, where he finds Betty scrubbing a note about herself off of the wall. They pep-talk each other and she slaps his ass in encouragement!

Wil and Alexis come up with an alternate on their own: a peace issue. Genius! Dan is impactado when he finds out. He worries that Wil is already starting to take over. Alexis thinks he's paranoid, but Wil throws Daniel a smug look later on while she admires Alexis's bracelet.

Daniel appears on Larry King's show, hoping to spin the spin on Wil's return. He says that Wil is back in name only. Then someone calls and asks about the picture of him shoving Wil. (It's the handshake photo - when Daniel puts his hand up to keep Wil from hugging him, it looks as though he's shoving Wil, with his face twisted into a snarl.) The caller says that Wil deserves credit for what she's accomplished, and accuses Daniel of having problems with women who don't sleep with him. Daniel tells King and the audience that this is just Wil's assistant pretending to be a girl - Wil, the backstabber, surely put him up to this call to cause trouble. King doubts this and says the caller sounds like a girl. The caller mentions that Wil worked 20 years at Mode, while Daniel got his call through nepotism. (Uh... it's a family-owned company!) Daniel says that Wil is a backstabbing, conniving... King's producer reveals that the call is coming from Vermont. Daniel awkwardly backpedals and says that Vermont has nice foliage.

Meanwhile, Wil offers Claire some advice to save Hot Flash - secretly offer free advertising to a big brand, which will make other advertisers want to pay big bucks to be in the magazine. (It is hard to believe that Claire has never heard of this strategy.) Claire is suspicious of Wil's motives, but Wil says that Claire's failure would be one-third hers.

Later, Claire is hopping mad. Alexis has reinstated Wil as creative director of Mode! Alexis points out that Wil saved Hot Flash and resolved the problem with the war/peace cover, while Daniel was off making an ass of himself on national TV.

Daniel confronts Wil. She gloats at how far she's come so quickly. She smugly speculates that she'll soon have his job as editor-in-chief.

Later, Wil thanks Fido for making the call from the Vermont-based cell phone number that she told him to get.

Adventures of the Suarez Sisters

Betty wakes up surrounded by the wreckage of her broken relationship with Henry. Downstairs, the family discusses how much crying she's been doing. She hasn't been eating. But she shows up for breakfast, dressed to go to work wearing the frumpiest outfit she's worn since... uh, ever?

Claire asks Betty to write an article for Hot Flash. She is vague about the assignment - no recommended subject - but wants 300 words from a "youth perspective."

Betty gets sandwiches for a last-minute Mode event. She tells Gio about the writing assigment. He gives her a cookie. He is flattered and a bit smug, saying that he's no doubt the first person she told about the assignment, but she denies it. He says she flirts. She rejects this. He says she's stalking. She is miffed. He says she wants him to be her rebound guy. She protests. He kisses her. She gets into it, then pushes him away and slaps him and storms out of the sandwich shop.

Betty is working on writing the article when she receives an email - someone is sending a photo of Betty kissing Gio all over Mode with the caption "Betty Whorez is out of control!" Everyone laughs. Betty asks Fido and Amanda to send out a retraction. They laugh at this request, but say they like Gio better than Henry... for Betty. Because they feel that Henry is better-looking and sweeter-smelling than Gio. They say Gio loves her... it says so in the mens' room.

Betty goes to the restroom to take care of the note (a poem written by Fido... "more of a haiku," Betty says), and finds Daniel sulking about Wil. She correctly guesses that he got Claire to give her the writing assignment.

Meanwhile, in Queens, Hilda has put on her nicest green dress and push-up bra to flirt with Tony, Justin's gym teacher. She tells Tony she likes to volunteer. He says great, because he needs a chaperone for the dance. Justin is upset and doesn't want anything to do with the dance, but Hilda says yes to being a chaperone. Then she sneezes - she's catching Ignacio's cold.

Later, Betty tells Hilda about the kiss with Gio. She feels guilty - it's too soon after breaking up with Henry. Or is it? Hilda says you can have feelings for more than one man at a time.

Justin gets ready for the dance, dressed as Danny Zuko from Grease. Hilda now has a fever and can't go. Betty volunteers to go in her place - she'll be able to interview kids, get their "youth perspective," and write her article. But Hilda says Justin still has to go to spy on the coach.

Betty is impressed by the decorations have transformed the gym for the dance. Justin says it's just putting lipstick on a pig. Betty tries to interview the kids, but her efforts fall flat. The first kid she encounters turns out to be Gio's sister - by some sick twist of fate, Gio is also chaperoning this dance. He teases Betty about stalking him and frenching. (She complains about his use of the word "frenching.") She is in no joking mood - her article deadline is tomorrow.

Hilda calls in for a status check. Justin reports that the coach is talking to a woman with a lazy eye.

Betty asks a kid if the word "bling" is still in use. The kid flees in terror! Betty is still not getting any useful information. She finds Gio dancing with a group of kids, and pulls him away to ask for help getting quotes. She wants to know how he gets kids to talk to him instead of running away. He says he talks to them like they're people.

He explains that the kids around the gym are younger versions of people they already know. He points out a boy with a girl on each arm - that's Daniel. A girl puts gum in another girl's hair - that's Amanda. A boy who's defacing a banner is Gio.

Gio says that Betty is the one who never had any fun. She denies this and begins listing all of the academic clubs she belonged to. She says she even gave back her Good Citizenship award, because that is what a good citizen does.

Gio points out Young Betty in the bleachers and guesses that she's covering the dance for the school paper. Betty sadly says no, she's waiting for someone to ask her to dance. Betty goes talk to her. Young Betty says she's most looking forward to graduation. Gio requests "True" ("an oldie!" the DJ declares, putting him on my Hate List forever), and dedicates it to Betty. He asks Betty to dance, and has Justin dance with Young Betty. (The song was a hit in 1983, before Betty was born. It's okay, I like songs from before I was born too; this just strikes me as a lame choice.)

Betty soon gets overwhelmed and runs away. Gio finds her on the back stairs. She says she can't have a boyfriend she loves and then just forget about him. She thinks she's awful for dancing with Gio. Gio says she should be herself, instead of worrying about how she should be. She says she's really sad.

Hilda calls in for an update. Justin tells her he's lost track of the coach. Then he tracks Tony down and asks if he likes Hilda. Tony says what is this, junior high? Justin says yes, it is! And that Hilda totally likes him!

Gio is picking the lock on the trophy cabinet, where Betty's Good Citizenship award is stuffed into the back. Gio has the trophy call to Betty with a Mexican accent. Betty questions this; Gio says all trophies have Mexican accents. Betty takes the trophy, but the shelf collapses and the principal catches them. He takes the award and calls Betty a bad citizen. Betty and Gio stifle chuckles.

Tony knocks on the door at the Suarez house. Hilda looks like she's had a constant cold for three years. He has brought her some soup. Hilda says she looks horrible; Tony says she looks great. She invites him in with an enourmous sneeze. He begs off, but says he'd like to go out with her when she's feeling better. Afterwards, she tries to do a happy dance, but has to stop to cough.

Gio and his sister walk Justin and Betty home. He tells the kids that Betty got expelled. At the door, he pulls Betty aside. She says she had fun, and she got an idea for her story: You can be young at any age - she went to her first junior high school dance at age 24. He wishes her luck.

She asks him sorta-out to do something sometime, but he says no. He doesn't want to be the "rebound guy." He just wants to be "the" guy.

I think it's too late. I don't think you can undo rebound status.

Next week: The season finale, with enough mayhem to keep you guessing all summer long.