*I'm going with the official title for a change, because a) I know what it is this time and b) it's way too clever to pass up!
Mode stuff
Wilhelmina meets with Tavares, disses all of his samples (especially a jacket with coconut-shell buttons), but in fact she is so taken with his work that she decides to debut him tomorrow night. Fluffy wants to celebrate by making out with Tavares in the ladies' room, but Tavares reminds her that he's pretending to be gay in order to have professional credibility. He promises to make it up to her later.
Fido is hurt when Fluffy tries to get out of their plans for the evening. Instead, she invites him to Tavares's party. Fido is jealous that Tavares now appears to be Fluffy's favorite gay guy. He says that Christina is his new hag. Christina scornfully disagrees by knocking him over.
Meanwhile, Bradford has chickened out of divorcing Claire. He also whines about feeling like he's over the hill. He misses his younger self. Wil offers to help him find it. She has Christina give him a makeover for the Tavares party.
Tavares and his fashions are a big hit, but not with Fido. Fido seethes as Tavares proceeds to impress all of the buyers by treating Fluffy like a contemptible gofer.
Finally, Bradford shows up at the party. He has given himself a makeover of his own, with a pierced ear, tiger-striped silk shirt, and shiny copper jacket with alligator trim. Wil pretends to like it.
Fido catches Fluffy and Tavares making out in a closet. He is enraged that Tavares is faking being gay for personal gain, and even more enraged that Fluffy is getting into another secret relationship that relegates her to closet status or worse. He urges her to "come out of the closet" and have the kind of relationship she deserves.
At Wil's request, Fido flirts with the back of Brad's head in order to convince the old dude that he's hot. Brad basks in the glow of the compliment for about thirty seconds, until a much hotter woman warns him that his ear is "oozing." He leaves, embarrassed and depressed.
Fluffy tells Tavares she has to leave. He openly disrespects her. As she gathers her things, Tavares says even nastier things about her to Wilhelmina and the other guests. Fido overhears and goes into dark side of the force rage. He "ins" Tavares to the crowd of fashionistas. To his chagrin, nobody cares. In fact, they are all very supportive of Tavares's nonconformist lifestyle, and congratulate themselves and their industry for being tolerant. With a wicked grin, Fluffy then triumphantly shows off some of Tavares's prized creations - all featuring large coconut-shell buttons. Wil struggles with nausea as the crowd murmurs in dismay.
After the party, Wil meets with Brad, who is still stewing in his dismay. She tells him that she didn't like young "Brad." She likes grownup "Bradford." She says he's ruined all other men for her. Apparently, this is all it takes to get him to sign the divorce papers. Frankly this seems highly implausible to me; I bet these papers are fake. If he would stick with Claire through the Fey thing, I bet he'd stick with her now, too. But we'll see. (Alas, it appears I was wrong.)
Later that night, Fido and Fluffy help themselves to some gifts from the Closet. They figure it's the least they deserve for what they've been through tonight. Fido hoists himself up to the top shelf to reach some peep-toe shoes for Fluffy, flipping the secret hook switch in the process. Fluffy stares in awe as the Love Dungeon is revealed.
Daniel
Daniel is bouncing off the walls - babbling and rambling not-very-good ideas and climbing on the furniture and arguing with Alexis - at the morning meeting. Wilhelmina tells him she's already worked something out with some famous adventure chick named Jordan Dunn who, it turns out, is Alexis's ex back from when she was Alex. Alexis is upset to hear that Jordan will be coming, and leaves. Daniel is excited and demands high fives from Fido and Wil.
Daniel is in his office and is about to pop another pill when Betty calls from the plane to thank him again for the tickets. He complains about the elderly, unappealing temp who is filling in for Betty and tells Betty that airplane phone calls are about ten bucks a minute. Betty hangs up without saying another word! Daniel takes that pill.
Alexis meets with Jordan (Rebecca Gayheart). They haven't spoken since the breakup. They have an awkward, mildly sarcastic conversation. Jordan complements Alexis's boobs. Alexis says they're Jordan's - she brought the surgeons a photo and told them she wanted boobs like hers.
Next, Jordan meets with Daniel. He agrees to go bungee-jumping with her. They have a good time and afterwards, he puts the moves on her.
Alexis pays a man on the elevator (apparently the same guy who Claire paid to cut Fey's brakes) to make Bradford disappear. She doesn't want to know any details. When the elevator door opens, she catches her brother smooching with Jordan in the hallway.
Later, she confronts Daniel, who isn't sorry. He gloats about "winning." Then she confronts Jordan, who isn't sorry either. Alexis warns Jordan that Daniel will hurt her; it's really all about Alexis. Jordan bitterly answers "Of course it's about you. It has always been about you." She says that being with Daniel is as close as she'll get to being with Alex again. She dares Alexis to give her a proper goodbye. Alexis kisses her. Jordan responds. Daniel sees them and discovers he's out of pills.
A man comes to the loft that night with more pills. While Daniel gets some cash to pay him, the delivery man and a pal come in and beat him up.
Mexico
Betty and her family are preparing to meet the cab to take them to the airport. Justin is worried about his school's production of West Side Story, while Hilda frets about Santos not doing his share of wedding-planning tasks (it's actually only one task). Hilda is also flipping out over being unable to find the right wedding dress.
Henry calls. Betty stands there and listens to his sweet message. She tells Hilda that she can't have him in her life. After he hangs up, she deletes the message.
Betty and her family enjoy first-class amenities on the plane. Betty reviews the family tree, observing that her mother's side is blank. Ignacio tells her that her mother's mother is dead, and quickly changes the subject, but Hilda reminds them of the murder: Ignacio was a lowly cook who killed his boss - an abusive husband - and married the boss's wife. Only his sister Mirta - the person they're visiting in Guadalajara - knows about all of this.
Ignacio notices that Betty's "Días" (mate to "Buenos") earring is missing. She moans that it's what she gets for wearing her good jewelry.
Eventually they get to Guadalajara, where the family holds a party in their honor. Betty's Spanish is pretty bad, and she manages, among other things, to tell the family she's very pregnant (embarazada) when she's only embarrassed. She likes being in Mexico, where people keep telling her she's skinny.
An old woman - a curandera (healer) - at the party tells Betty that she'll be unhappy forever... unless she looks back, and searches for a big tree with missing branches. Her happiness will be behind that tree.
Hilda advises Betty to ignore the crazy old lady. The woman then tells Betty that the other earring isn't on the plane - it's on her sleeve. Betty checks - yep, there it is.
Betty realizes that the tree in question is the family tree, and the missing branches are on her mother's side. She tries to get her aunt Mirta (Rita Moreno) to talk, but the aunt claims to know nothing. Meanwhile, Hilda is trying to be polite as their cousin-in-law urges her to try on some very ugly dresses for her wedding.
Betty loosens up her aunt with some sophisticated adult beverages, and auntie lets slip that her former SIL's mother is still alive. Caught, Ignacio says that his MIL disowned Betty's mother Rosa for running off with a man of the wrong social class.
Hilda doesn't think Granny will be glad to see Betty. Betty thinks otherwise, and tricks Hilda to go with her by saying that they're going to an outlet mall to look for dresses. They take a long bus ride out of town. Hilda realizes, too late, that there isn't any mall. Betty admits that they are going to look for a vaguely described small blue house.
In the middle of nowhere, Betty sees a man who looks just like Henry on a moded. Betty is convinced that it's him and gets off the bus to investigate. Hilda follows. The man gets away, and so does the bus, leaving Betty and Hilda alone on a desert road. They hike back to the nearest town. Hilda flirts with a waiter while Betty asks around after Granny or a blue house. She catches sight of "Henry" again and follows him far into a field, until he is out of view. There, she spies an exotic hawk in a tree with missing branches, behind which is a small blue house.
The door is open. Betty knocks and enters. Her grandmother, Yolanda Salazar, is senile and in poor health. A nurse advises Betty that the old woman doesn't speak. Betty comes closer to apologize and say goodbye. However, granny gets a better look at Betty and recognizes her... as her own daughter. For her, time stopped the night that Rosa left; she thinks it's the next day and gets up to fetch some dresses that Rosa left behind. She tells "Rosa" that she was wrong about Ignacio; that Rosa should do whatever she has to do to be with him, even if it means going away from her own family. Just then, Ignacio arrives. Granny tells Betty to fight for the man she loves.
Meanwhile, the waiter (Antonio) is massaging Hilda's feet. She confesses that she is stressed out over the wedding; nothing is going well. The waiter says that the signs are telling her not to get married. The reason she can't find the right dress and got stuck out here is so that she can be with him. Just then, Betty comes running up with Mom's old wedding dress. Hilda excitedly rushes off to look for matching shoes.
So much for Antonio.
Ignacio introduces himself to the waiter. The waiter subtly reacts to Ignacio's name, and introduces himself as Antonio Barreiro. After Ignacio leaves, Antonio whips out a phone and tells someone that Ignacio is back in Mexico, and they'll finally have their revenge.
Later, Betty and her father watch another hawk fly around a shrine. Betty tells Ignacio she'll fight for Henry, or regret it for the rest of her life. She can't wait to go home.
Ignacio tells her that he won't be able to go with her. The consulate denied his visa, so he'll have to stay. Betty says they'll all stay; she won't go home without him. He says no, she has to; he left his family once too. They hug and she cries.
¡Última semana!
Betty fights for her little dweeb. Fluffy and Christina share some quality time in the Love Dungeon. Claire and her friends break out of prison. Fabia returns. Betty's new orthodontist has an ugly assistant.
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