After watching Bradford's collapse on the big screen in Times Square, Betty rushes to the hospital to offer her support. Alexis hurriedly tells her that Bradford had a massive heart attack and is still unconscious. Next, Betty is momentarily happy to hear Daniel's warm greeting, but then she realizes that he's addressing someone else. Christina tries to cheer Betty up, but Betty realizes she's fired for real.
Betty goes into the office to pack her things and bonds with L'Amanda - the weekend receptionist/security lady, who assures Betty that she's better than Amanda. She tells Betty how hot she thinks Henry is. Or "Sugarstick," as she prefers to call him.
While clearing off her desk, Betty runs into a shadow of herself from the past - Ugly Betty in her Guadalajara poncho on the day she came to work at Mode. They have a long talk, and Betty Past is shocked by the kinds of things Betty Present has been up to. In Betty Past's opinion, if it's so difficult to be a decent person at Meade Publications, then it's just as well that she's leaving.
Christina shows up to help with the packing, and Betty Past disappears. Betty Present quizzes Christina: has Betty changed since she started working there? Christina thinks Mode "does something" to people.
Amanda and Fido wait at the hospital for news of Bradford. They eat popcorn and enjoy the show as Daniel orders Wil out of the ICU and slams the door in her face. Embarrassed, she tells the crowd of shocked onlookers that Daniel's just mad because she caught him eyeing the morphine.
Suzuki St. Pierre, the regular Fashion TV reporter (as opposed to the different ones they had every week last year), wonders what has become of Bradford's designer wedding suit. Ignacio wants to check a football score, but Justin doesn't want to change the channel - anyway, he figures they probably canceled the football game on account of the Meade tragedy.
Betty comes home with her things. Ignacio offers to call Daniel and explain why Betty betrayed him. Hilda's practical suggestion is for Betty to go to the gym, get skinny, and then Daniel will beg her to come back. Betty isn't so sure she wants the job back. She's not proud of the way she's been acting.
She goes up to her room, where Claire has been hiding in an armoire and Yoga is in the bed. Claire tells Betty she's leaving the country tonight. (Yoga complains about the accommodations while shaking Betty's piggybank.) First, however, Claire wants to know if Bradford has changed his will yet. She wants to make sure his stuff will go to their children, and not to Wil. The will is kept in his office, and Betty is her only hope to go check it out. Betty balks, but Claire convinces her that she'd be helping Daniel. Betty feels that she owes Daniel that much. She goes back to the office, but L'Amanda kicks her out aggressively, now that she's been officially notified of Betty's firing. Half-relieved, Betty leaves with her tail between her legs.
In a limo with Fido, Wil complains about the inconvenience of Bradford's heart attack. She says she knows he's changed his will, but she's not sure what he's changed it to. She fears he may have bequeathed everything to charity, or some other unworthy not-Wil cause. (I think he changed his will when he was angry with Alexis and/or Daniel last year, but I'll need to check the older recaps when I have more time.)
At the hospital, Amanda catches Daniel pummeling a vending machine. She gives it a smart rap, and the snack drops. He's too depressed to take it. (Amanda retrieves it for him.) Daniel regrets that he hasn't told his father that he loves him. Amanda tries to cheer him up and reminds him that there's still time.
At the Suarez home, Ignacio hears a noise and comes up to investigate. He spots Yoga first, who is standing in plain sight. She claims to be from the cable company. She and Claire bicker over whether that was a completely stupid thing to say.
Between scenes, Claire describes Betty's errand. Ignacio disapproves, especially in light of the way Daniel treated his daughter. He is about to explain the firing to Claire when Hilda comes up. He tells the two fugitives to hide and stretches out on the bed. His lame excuse to Hilda is wasted, because Hilda spots Yoga right away. (Betty's graduation bunny wasn't quite big enough to conceal her.) Yoga tells Hilda she's the exterminator.
Again between scenes, Claire fills Ignacio and Hilda in on her and Yoga's plan to go to Italy and start a new life. They show off their fake passports. Hilda doesn't think Claire's is going to work, since everyone already knows who she is and what she looks like. Hilda offers her a makeover so that Claire can look more like the Italian name on her passport.
Not surprisingly, the makeover also takes place between scenes. Ignacio thinks the new Claire looks like Chita Rivera.
Henry shows up at Mode, denies being Betty's boyfriend, and flirts mercilessly with L'Amanda. Betty crawls in on all fours behind L'Amanda's back. They meet up a little bit later, and Betty complains that he carried out his role with too much enthusiasm. Henry teases her, but now she's upset that she's becoming bossy in addition to being a liar and thief. Henry says she's always been bossy. This cheers her up a bit, and they smooch in the hallway. That's when the elevator opens to reveal Wil and Fido.
The two parties tell one another that they're there to find a "memento" of their beloved dying friend. (Wil refers to him as her husband, but Sugarstick reminds her that he's only her fiance.) They all pretend to look for a trinket for a few moments, but Wil tires quickly of this and says they all want to find the will. Betty tries to play dumb, but Wil says they should just find it, read it together, and shake hands. She's tired of the drama.
In an effort to be more convincing, Wil struggles to arrange her features into a tired look. The result convinces Betty. To Wil and Fido's surprise, Betty moves a small painting and begins opening the wall safe hidden behind it. She shows them the combination written on her hand. (It's faint and blurry, but it looks like it might be 2-31-20.)
She finishes the combination, and she and Wil shake hands as agreed. (Wil refers to her "late husband," but Sugarstick reminds her that he's not dead yet and they're not married.) Betty opens the safe and looks inside; it's empty. Wil complains that Bradford "was always so paranoid" and that everything "was such a secret." The word "secret" jogs both Fido's and Betty's memories - the secret room!
Fido easily gets Betty out of the way by bumping her glasses out of her hand. Then he easily knocks Henry backwards over Betty. He and Wil run out, and Fido uses a remote control to lock Betty and Henry in Bradford's office.
Henry is annoyed that "everyone" knows about the secret sex room except him. He says it's "like freshman year all over again." Betty ignores his complaints; she is trying to get L'Amanda on the phone. L'Amanda is listening to headphones with her eyes shut, and can't hear or see the phone at all.
Henry looks at the vent in the ceiling and thinks they should try crawling their way to freedom. Amazingly, the very clean and spacious ducts lead them right to the lobby. Henry falls through that vent and into the circle of the reception desk, where L'Amanda is delighted to see him!
While Betty waits in the ceiling, Henry tries to fend L'Amanda off. He warns that the two of them are like water and magnesium. L'Amanda can't wait to learn more. She grabs him into a passionate embrace and begins kissing him. Betty drops from the ceiling and scurries out. Henry pulls free of L'Amanda and says he can't be with her - he'll break her heart. He's a dog. L'Amanda says she loves dogs!
Wil checks out the stuff in the Dungeon and wonders why Bradford never invited her in there. (She swings a whip experimentally, and somewhere a lion roars.) Fido finds a will that says Wil will "share" all of his stuff "on pronouncement" of their marriage. Wil is determined to make that happen.
Daniel goes up to his father's room, where Alexis is telling him that he doesn't have to fight. She loves him, and if he's ready, he can go. Daniel does not like this, and tells him not to go into the light. Their bickering wakes Bradford up. Daniel gathers his courage and tries to tell Bradford that he loves him, but chickens out and just tells his father he'll be okay. Then he takes off.
"I love you too, son," Bradford mutters to the empty doorway.
Betty calls Claire from the dungeon with the will in hand and says Daniel and Alexis will be okay. (It's not at all clear which version of the will she's looking at.)
Claire thanks Hilda and Ignacio for their and Betty's help. Just as she and Yoga are leaving, Justin comes down to ask permission to eat his dinner in front of the TV. He thinks the made-over Claire looks familiar, but he can't place her. Hilda simply says she's a friend of the family. Justin shrugs this off, being far more interested in watching TV.
The mention of the Meade wedding coverage, and the generally warm family atmosphere, cause Claire to lose her nerve. She wants to go to the hospital. Yoga is sure Claire will get caught. Claire says she won't, but also tells Yoga to go without her if she's not back by 8. They share a complicated hug, and Claire goes out on her mission.
Betty begins writing a poison pen letter to Fido. This strongly-worded missive criticizes his odor, hair, and shoes, and ends with "So in conclusion, you are a weenie." (Henry questions whether Betty is really taking a writing class.) She puts it on Fido's keyboard, which wakes up his monitor, which displays a website that ordains people as ministers.
(Such sites exist. I've been "ordained" myself. The ordination isn't legal until it's verified by a live person, i.e. some agent of the church in question, which can take a while... I don't know if these laws will apply here, or be ignored for plot convenience!)
Betty and Sugarstick realize what is happening, and take off for the hospital.
A doctor tells Daniel and Alexis that if their father's condition continues to improve overnight, he'll be strong enough for surgery. They're relieved. Ignacio arrives and pulls them aside to meet with their mother and say goodbye. Alexis begs Claire to stay, but Claire doesn't want to stay in hiding. She explains that Betty and her family made this meeting possible, and she begins to tell Daniel why Betty didn't tell him about Wil's affair.
Wil and Fido appear elsewhere on that floor. Fido tries to conduct the wedding, but Bradford says he heard she slept with her bodyguard. She blows this off, tells him to say "I do," and promises to fetch him a pudding afterwards. He tells her to look him in the eye and say she didn't sleep with Duane. She does so easily, but he scoffs and says she never loved him. He tells her to leave and asks to see his family.
Betty sees them leaving and rushes in to see Bradford. He admits that he was a fool, and that Wil never loved him. The only person who ever loved him was Claire. He recoils slightly when he realizes that he is unbosoming himself to Betty. Betty calls Claire, who tells her kids it'd be worth it to go to jail just to see him again. She pulls off her wig (damn! it's a wig!) and steps into the hallway, where she is recognized instantly.
Brad apologizes when he sees her, and begins coughing. She tells him she knew on the day they got married that he'd break her heart, but she'd still do it all over again. He tells her he's never loved anyone more than her. She thanks him for giving him "the greatest life."
Daniel finds Betty in the waiting room. Henry excuses himself. Betty and Daniel sort things out, and he asks her to come back to work. She sees Betty Past watching from door of Bradford's room. She tells Daniel how much she appreciates the opportunities he's given over the past year, but she fears that she has changed too much, and doesn't want to be the person she's becoming. Daniel is disappointed, but he hugs her and says it's her life and she has to do what she has to do.
Betty Past gives Betty Present a thumbs-up. She turns to enter Bradford's room and smashes into the glass door, just like on her first day at Mode. She recovers and enters Bradford's room, while Betty Present manages to tip an entire sofa over. Alexis helps her up, then hurries to join Daniel, who is following his handcuffed mother, who is being dragged out by the police. Daniel asks Betty to stay with their father.
Betty goes to Bradford's room and sits down nervously. Bradford looks at her hazily and asks if she's Claire. Betty tells him she "left." He summons Betty to his bedside and asks her to take care of Daniel. Betty insists that Bradford will be fine. He tells her she's been the only person to keep Daniel from going off the rails; "he'd be lost without you."
Bradford coughs again and asks Betty to get him some water. When she comes back a few seconds later, his heart stops.
An alarm sounds; doctors and nurses rush in; and for the second time that day, Betty watches in shock as someone fights to save Bradford Meade's life.
Hilda and Justin watch the report of his death on the news (real news, not Fashion TV) at home. Yoga watches too, from near the front door. The reporter also mentions Claire's arrest and reminds us that she escaped from prison six months ago; she also says that Claire told them that Yoga (whose real name is evidently Amelia Bluman) was killed during the escape.
Justin and Hilda hear the door. By the time they reach it, Yoga is gone.
(U2 montage: The Suarezes' half-open door; Claire in the back of a police car; Betty putting her hand on Daniel's shoulder.)
But wait! There's more!
Ancient fluorescent tubes grudgingly buzz to life as a young man in a white coat pushes a covered stretcher into the morgue. Wil has been waiting for him. She inquires whether the corpse is Bradford Meade. As the lad gapes nervously, Wil offers to pay off his med school loans in exchange for a favor.
Next week:
Wilhelmina "grieves" in her own special way.
I believe there are only two new episodes left until the writers' strike ends. Meanwhile, if you're at all interested in the TV genre that brought us Ugly Betty, and have any interest in learning Spanish, let me put in another plug for telenovelas on Univision and Telemundo. As a bonus, if you watch the prime-time telenovelas on Univision, you can follow along at this website with recaps in English.
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